Guidance NEEDED ! please help (public)

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matthew16

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Hello all,
Code: 
       My name is Matt im 31 years old and am in need of guidance but not just from anyone ,im in need of guidance from practicing catholics.I had recently have gone thru some emotional,trying,and most importantly questioning time in my life but its not what you think I dont question my faith this mostly has to do with me.I went to catholic school all my life in philly PA -grade school thru highschool and my family has been going to the same church for over century.The guidance and advice i am asking will b explained soon but the reason i started off with all that is because this is still fresh in mind.Before i went online to ask for help i gave my local rectory a call just to see if i could talk to a priest,noone speacial any father would do when one had an opening or just 10mins free,Well when i called a women had answered the phone she asked if it was an emergency.I told the women no and explained that i just needed the ear of priest im going thru some really difficult time in my life.She then asked for a donation,and at the time i had not one cent to my name the woman then said that if i didnt make a donation i could not talk or see one of the priests from my parish/school,which really bothered me since my mother paid 3,000 dollars for 2 boys to go to this scool for 8 years,I have never been more dissapointed in my church.Dont get me wrong tho folks i do kno that priests are busy n dont have time for everyone but i would have made an appointment or whatever but to turn me away because i dont have money really upset me.So thats why i am coming on this site and am begging for guidance/advice from other catholics.I do have friends,family,co-workers who are catholics but i kno they dont put God first in their lives like i do.So with all that said here goes my friends,I am currently having trouble making myself feel the love of the lord,i feel lost in who i am as man and as catholic,my father killed himself when i was younger and ever since than i have been search and guessing what a man should bebut not just any man a true christian man.That was the whole reason i wanted to talk to priest cauuse i dnt have true practicing christian men in my family so its been really tough on me.Im also scared about death,scared that jesus blames me for my fathers sucide.Just so many questions that i have but i dont know where to go get it or the options i do have i dont trust it because their hearts are not pure.Im just so lost anymore I cry alot lately too but its just tears flowing from when im just praying i dont understand it im not thinking of anything sad or bad im just praying to God begging him for advice,the warmth of his love,forgivness, just normal prayers.Im not a sad person at all but why do i shead so many tears when i pray.I am new to this website and have so much more i want to ask and say but im going to stop here just to see if anyone really wants and is willing to help this christian young man get  ahold of his faith and his soul.so please write back i could use some real practicing catholic friends in my life to ask advice cause then ill kno that its for my own good but not only that its for the good of my soul..oh and sorry for the bad spelling
God bless u all and thank you
 
Maybe email the priest directly and ask for a meeting. You can even tell him how you went to that school and have been a parishioner your whole life. I know our bulletin has the priests emails so you could start there?

To have to give a donation is ridiculous. It’s nice but I don’t think it should be mandatory.
 
the woman then said that if i didnt make a donation i could not talk or see one of the priests
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Go to Confession or make an appointment to go if you have to and bring all of this up to the priest when you are in there. That woman is way out of line telling you you need to make a donation. Don’t let bad Catholics quash your faith. You are in my prayers. God Bless you.
 
The feelings and frustration you feel do not make you a lesser man or catholic…
We all need a sounding board with our thoughts… And the priest was unavailable…
I think what you have is mild depressing and grief concerning your father which has been bottled up for some time… With no release valve, your tears and saddens and questioning of your own purpose in life needs sorting out… At least you realise the situation your in,
Looking in all the right places… If your present state continues then you will start to look in all the wrong places seeking answers…
Your parish should not be looking for donations before they answer your needs…
Seek out your favourite priest, confront him face to face and show him your grief…
If he refuses to assist you immediately ,then go over his head and speak to the bishop or whoever, because that’s what they are there for,
God bless...
 
There are times when I cry during prayer and also times at Mass. It is so strange… but not at all unusual! Others have the gift of tears as well. Run a search for *catholic “gifts of tears” *and you will see there is a surprising amount of information.

I cannot imagine requiring a donation before you can see a priest–I have been associated with several parishes in 2 states under 4 bishops and have never heard of this!

As to the rest, I am so sorry to hear about your father–that is so hard on family members. And when one has a reason for not following the example of a parent, but no way of finding out what to do instead, that too is very difficult.

I think you should definitely talk to your priest; after Mass ask him how you can reach him to make an appointment for confession and cousel. If he wants a donation, go to another parish.
 
matthew16 said:
Hello all,
Code: 
       My name is Matt im 31 years old and am in need of guidance but not just from anyone ,im in need of guidance from practicing catholics.I had recently have gone thru some emotional,trying,and most importantly questioning time in my life but its not what you think I dont question my faith this mostly has to do with me.I went to catholic school all my life in philly PA -grade school thru highschool and my family has been going to the same church for over century.The guidance and advice i am asking will b explained soon but the reason i started off with all that is because this is still fresh in mind.Before i went online to ask for help i gave my local rectory a call just to see if i could talk to a priest,noone speacial any father would do when one had an opening or just 10mins free,Well when i called a women had answered the phone she asked if it was an emergency.I told the women no and explained that i just needed the ear of priest im going thru some really difficult time in my life.She then asked for a donation,and at the time i had not one cent to my name the woman then said that if i didnt make a donation i could not talk or see one of the priests from my parish/school,which really bothered me since my mother paid 3,000 dollars for 2 boys to go to this scool for 8 years,I have never been more dissapointed in my church.Dont get me wrong tho folks i do kno that priests are busy n dont have time for everyone but i would have made an appointment or whatever but to turn me away because i dont have money really upset me.So thats why i am coming on this site and am begging for guidance/advice from other catholics.I do have friends,family,co-workers who are catholics but i kno they dont put God first in their lives like i do.So with all that said here goes my friends,I am currently having trouble making myself feel the love of the lord,i feel lost in who i am as man and as catholic,my father killed himself when i was younger and ever since than i have been search and guessing what a man should bebut not just any man a true christian man.That was the whole reason i wanted to talk to priest cauuse i dnt have true practicing christian men in my family so its been really tough on me.Im also scared about death,scared that jesus blames me for my fathers sucide.Just so many questions that i have but i dont know where to go get it or the options i do have i dont trust it because their hearts are not pure.Im just so lost anymore I cry alot lately too but its just tears flowing from when im just praying i dont understand it im not thinking of anything sad or bad im just praying to God begging him for advice,the warmth of his love,forgivness, just normal prayers.Im not a sad person at all but why do i shead so many tears when i pray.I am new to this website and have so much more i want to ask and say but im going to stop here just to see if anyone really wants and is willing to help this christian young man get  ahold of his faith and his soul.so please write back i could use some real practicing catholic friends in my life to ask advice cause then ill kno that its for my own good but not only that its for the good of my soul..oh and sorry for the bad spelling
God bless u all and thank you
Click to expand...
I will listen to anything to ask and do my best to answer. Though I am not even 20 yet I woo be enter seminary in a year.
 
Keep praying, you will find peace.

I agree with the others that you could make an appointment with the priest. There are also a lot of men’s retreats and prayer services that you could attend that might help you. I am not sure if you are still in Pennsylvania or not, but check out these two events:

www.2232men.com

This a men’s conference in Erie, PA on November 23rd. Fr. Larry Richards is one of the speakers. He has a book out called “Be a Man” that outlines how men can live the faith. He is a well loved and respected priest and speaker.

Less relevant but maybe still worth a try is the Magnificat Day of Prayer in Philadelphia,

magnificatday.com/

which is being held on November 9th of this year.

Good luck to you!
 
And there is a show on EWTN called Crossing the Goal. It has four guys, just regular guys and they give a man’s perspective on living the Christian life. I watch it sometimes just wishing the guys in my family WANTED to be better Christians, but then that’s judging and I’m sorry about that!!!
I’m praying for you. I’m sorry about all the struggle you are dealing with. I can’t imagine the church asking for money, but then I’ve heard a lot of strange things in the past few years. My husband’s sister joined the Catholic Church in Maryland and they wanted her bank account number for automatic withdrawl…go figure! I can’t imagine. But I’m praying for you.
 
matthew16 said:
Hello all,

God bless u all and thank you
Click to expand...
Hello,
I am truly sorry for the hard times.
I may not have any better advice but God has, I am very sure.
You have been going through many crosses, but you have not been by yourself, Jesus has been with you all the time, I know you know that; otherwise the spirit that you have today of expressing your feelings here would not be if it was not for His Will.
Please, try to build a good relationship with God, learn who He really is from the bible, and prayers. I would even advice that you take an example of a Saint of your choice to be like your Mentor. The Saints lived on the earth and most of them lived very very hard lives, even killed, but they are and were always full of Wisdom and Love. To me they are the wisest people on Earth. Think of how many of us would choose to loose the souls for the earthly things than gain eternal life by loosing this (earthly)life. Saints were very wise and Knew what mattered most, their souls; they are good mentors, and they love helping us. They always remind us, that they’ve been there, been to more worse than we are in and reminding us that the same God who guided them is also guiding us, so we are not and never alone.
I am not perfect, so I have many favorite saints who help me, I pray novenas after novenas and as a catholic, I know how lucky I am that we have the Rosary, holding our Mother’s Hand gives us a peace that is so amazing even in the midst of many difficulties. We are very very blessed.
About your father, offer his life to God and ask Jesus to be your Father from now on and to guide and be the example that you need from your father. ( You might have read this, but let me tell you. You remember St. Catherine Laboure, when her Mother died at her young age, she went to church and asked Mary to be her mother from then on, and she did, and even appeared to her.)
Well, in our faith, we mostly don’t need miracles to happen so that we can believe that Jesus is our father, and our Guider when we ask him to. We know if we ask him, to take lead, He is there on our shoulders, inside us, in our souls, in our mind and His spirit would always be felt flowing inside us; if we build a very very close relationship, I MEAN RELATIONSHIP. This does not mean that we are holy or walking righteously, this means that we understand and know that He knows our imperfections and He never leaves us because we are impure, but loves us more and more every moment, we even know Him better when we sin and find Him waiting for us to ask Him to wash us with His blood. We are so amazed and even want to ask Him, how are we made in your own image and likeness, when we are so sinful, taking so long to forgive ourselves and others, taking so long to love each and everyone, but hate the sin but not the person, because the person is your child like me, the sin separates us from You.
Please, forgive your father, forgive yourself, forgive the lady who asked for the donation, God is Love, Love all, You can hate what separates all from God, but Love all His Children, you are his child, so be like Him as He loves all. Don’t waste any more time, BUILD A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM NOW. Even if you are a sinner, He will make you what He wants. Walk a step towards him each moment, don’t walk a step from Him. You will find PEACE. I always feel that we all need bigger hearts to Love Jesus. What about you?
May God bless you.
 
You should not have to pay to ask for guidance from a priest. I wonder if the secretary could have misinterpreted what you were asking?
 
SecretaryMonday said:
You should not have to pay to ask for guidance from a priest. I wonder if the secretary could have misinterpreted what you were asking?
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Yes such would have to be…for no donation is ever asked to talk with a Priest. Very odd.
 
We are living In a world that is totally out of control and desperately in need of the Love and Mercy of Our Lord Jesus Christ.
We know that Our Loving Mother is the instrument chosen by God to lead us to safety and peace.
Let us ask her to intercede with her Son for the graces to be Holy Witnesses and to live the messages of Love and Mercy. Everyone’s prayers counts.
In the end, the choices we make in every present moment will help us relate/imitate Jesus well. We are not perfect, so let us not judge.but mostly choose to pray for one another.
May the United hearts of Jesus and Mary, guide and protect us. Amen
Love and God’s blessings to us all.
 
matthew16 said:
Hello all,
Code: 
       My name is Matt im 31 years old and am in need of guidance but not just from anyone ,im in need of guidance from practicing catholics.I had recently have gone thru some emotional,trying,and most importantly questioning time in my life but its not what you think I dont question my faith this mostly has to do with me.I went to catholic school all my life in philly PA -grade school thru highschool and my family has been going to the same church for over century.The guidance and advice i am asking will b explained soon but the reason i started off with all that is because this is still fresh in mind.Before i went online to ask for help i gave my local rectory a call just to see if i could talk to a priest,noone speacial any father would do when one had an opening or just 10mins free,Well when i called a women had answered the phone she asked if it was an emergency.I told the women no and explained that i just needed the ear of priest im going thru some really difficult time in my life.She then asked for a donation,and at the time i had not one cent to my name the woman then said that if i didnt make a donation i could not talk or see one of the priests from my parish/school,which really bothered me since my mother paid 3,000 dollars for 2 boys to go to this scool for 8 years,I have never been more dissapointed in my church.Dont get me wrong tho folks i do kno that priests are busy n dont have time for everyone but i would have made an appointment or whatever but to turn me away because i dont have money really upset me.So thats why i am coming on this site and am begging for guidance/advice from other catholics.I do have friends,family,co-workers who are catholics but i kno they dont put God first in their lives like i do.So with all that said here goes my friends,I am currently having trouble making myself feel the love of the lord,i feel lost in who i am as man and as catholic,my father killed himself when i was younger and ever since than i have been search and guessing what a man should bebut not just any man a true christian man.That was the whole reason i wanted to talk to priest cauuse i dnt have true practicing christian men in my family so its been really tough on me.Im also scared about death,scared that jesus blames me for my fathers sucide.Just so many questions that i have but i dont know where to go get it or the options i do have i dont trust it because their hearts are not pure.Im just so lost anymore I cry alot lately too but its just tears flowing from when im just praying i dont understand it im not thinking of anything sad or bad im just praying to God begging him for advice,the warmth of his love,forgivness, just normal prayers.Im not a sad person at all but why do i shead so many tears when i pray.I am new to this website and have so much more i want to ask and say but im going to stop here just to see if anyone really wants and is willing to help this christian young man get  ahold of his faith and his soul.so please write back i could use some real practicing catholic friends in my life to ask advice cause then ill kno that its for my own good but not only that its for the good of my soul..oh and sorry for the bad spelling
God bless u all and thank you
Click to expand...
The person who answered the phone just was not trained properly. When she said you needed to donate she probably meant that unless you did this, that is, contributed regularly as a parishoner, then you weren’t a member of the parish. And if you weren’t a regular parishoner than you should go to the parish you belong. At least that’s what my best guess is. Matt, just don’t put more into this than there really is. It’s just a mistake and that’s all it was.
There are lots of people answering phones these days that are just untrained, but are doing what they can in their good will to help out.

I’m not sure about why you are shedding tears. If it has anything to do with blaming yourself for any degree of the unfortunate event of your Dad, then of course what you must do is to see yourself consoling someone else as if if they were you. And what would you say to them? Then this is what also you must say to yourself as well. I wish I had a magic wand to just wiz this right out of your mind, but then we don’t. But may I suggest that one of the good things you could do yourself is to talk to someone else and then listen with both ears to what they will say to you. Sometimes the only way to get these things out is to talk them out with some person who will listen. Then do the best you can to live in the present and for the future.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.
 
Matthew16,

I will be brief. I am a 36yo man, Catholic since birth. My knowledge of the faith is nothing spectacular, I am often humbled by how much more others know. I continue to push forward to try and grow my relationship with the Lord. That being said, I’ve connected somewhat with your post. I have not had the misfortune you mentioned, but have looked for spiritual guidance in the past and have not found it, but for other reasons. I can only offer you a few nuggets of information

-experience: I can let you know more about the path I’ve taken, which has helped me grow in love of God
-I wish I could remember the source, but I had read that our prayer life goes in waves. The sad times are to remind us that we need to cry out to the Lord. If everyday was peaches and candy, we would drift into complacency.
-time: feel free to direct message me. I can go into more detail about my personal life than I’m prepared to post openly, or begin a conversation.
-spiritual dryness: the holiest of saints endured periods of time when they believed they could not feel God’s love.

Regardless, continue the fight, continue the journey. The reward is worth it.
 
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