Guidance needed

[john78]

I found a Trappist Monastery in Conyer Ga, Monastery of the Holy Spirit;

trappist.net/

my intent was to visit this Monastery to help me in my discernment process, they have a vocations retreat coming up soon…

well the other day i had spoke with a vocations director for the priesthood in my diocese by phone and mentioned this to him ; this was my first contact with this V.D a rather introduction call, my intial inquiry i has via email was a broad question of any upcoming vocation retreats to the priesthood.

i am discerning between the two the priesthood n brotherhood, now finding out that there are many orders to each, so I am trying to focus just on the vocation of being a Diocesan Priest, or a Brother, in either and i thought there was only Fransican, and Benedictine but now i have found out there is also this one i have linked above.

There are Jesuit Priests, Chaplains, etc…

anyhow i was a bit troubled with this V.D had said " he had heard somethings about the monastery" , and im thinking you have got to be kidding me, so i asked for him to continue and he said he had already said to much and didnt want to influence my desicion any.

well i had askd him to merely tell me anything i might want to consider before attending the vocation retreat there… n he merely said that he had heard over the past 10 yrs or so they had become rather “orthodox” but that maybe they have tightend up some.

now i am 33yrs old, i do understand that people have their own agendas, and that having an agenda is not necessarily a bad thing.

I am at a cross roads now, i know nothing about this monastery, i have talked to a V.D who i felt was being rather slick with me, and he did mention a formation house for those in discernment and seminarians in my area, which i do plan on looking into as well… i am keeping everything open.

but the seed of doubt has been planted in my head and i wish it hadn’t in regards to going to this monastery, i contacted the monastery in hopes of some clarification to this.
who knows if i will get a response any time soon.

that and i would get in touch with my Spiritual Director, but he is a rather new priest, and he is very busy, he had to go out of town and i didnt find out until i called a day before to confirm the time of our meeting and found out via voice message he was gone for the week… that and i think i might be overwhelming him with very lengthy email questions, not constant but if i do send an email it can be long.

So I dont know if i should find a different S.D or not either…

i feel like i am being spun around in different directions and the only thing i know where i am confident is in adoration, outside of that i feel rather lost.

 

[Poor_Clare_tobe]

I found a Trappist Monastery in Conyer Ga, Monastery of the Holy Spirit;

my intent was to visit this Monastery to help me in my discernment process, they have a vocations retreat coming up soon…

well the other day i had spoke with a vocations director for the priesthood in my diocese by phone and mentioned this to him ; this was my first contact with this V.D a rather introduction call, my intial inquiry i has via email was a broad question of any upcoming vocation retreats to the priesthood.

i am discerning between the two the priesthood n brotherhood, now finding out that there are many orders to each, so I am trying to focus just on the vocation of being a Diocesan Priest, or a Brother, in either and i thought there was only Fransican, and Benedictine but now i have found out there is also this one i have linked above.

There are Jesuit Priests, Chaplains, etc…

anyhow i was a bit troubled with this V.D had said " he had heard somethings about the monastery" , and im thinking you have got to be kidding me, so i asked for him to continue and he said he had already said to much and didnt want to influence my desicion any.

well i had askd him to merely tell me anything i might want to consider before attending the vocation retreat there… n he merely said that he had heard over the past 10 yrs or so they had become rather “orthodox” but that maybe they have tightend up some.

now i am 33yrs old, i do understand that people have their own agendas, and that having an agenda is not necessarily a bad thing.

I am at a cross roads now, i know nothing about this monastery, i have talked to a V.D who i felt was being rather slick with me, and he did mention a formation house for those in discernment and seminarians in my area, which i do plan on looking into as well… i am keeping everything open.

but the seed of doubt has been planted in my head and i wish it hadn’t in regards to going to this monastery, i contacted the monastery in hopes of some clarification to this.
who knows if i will get a response any time soon.

that and i would get in touch with my Spiritual Director, but he is a rather new priest, and he is very busy, he had to go out of town and i didnt find out until i called a day before to confirm the time of our meeting and found out via voice message he was gone for the week… that and i think i might be overwhelming him with very lengthy email questions, not constant but if i do send an email it can be long.

So I dont know if i should find a different S.D or not either…

i feel like i am being spun around in different directions and the only thing i know where i am confident is in adoration, outside of that i feel rather lost.

I would say… first of all take your time…

First of all: Regarding your spiritual director… Is this someone you have been meeting with regularly or a new priest??? If you have been meeting (not just emailing) with him regularly you might want to remain with him. On the other hand if you are not sure of how it is fitting with your needs… perhaps you might look at someone else?

[The diocesan vocations director might give you a list of spiritual directors in your diocese if you do decide to find someone else]…mind you if the young priest "fits’ you and your are comfortable perhaps just ask him how to get into a more regular program of spiritual direction.
Either way do what brings you peace.

As for the retreat… if you don’t have (name removed by moderator)ut regarding this particular monastery you can either attend the retreat and hope to gain something from it, or perhaps if you are feeling uneasy about it… wait for another one and give yourself time to get your questions answered.

You did mention several religious orders… perhaps they might have retreats scheduled also???

Bottom line here… keep praying… and if you are unsure and peaceful about something, maybe take a step back, and put it off until a later date at which time you might have more information???

Also remember you can contact more than one community at a time for instance maybe get information from the Diocese as well as a few mens communities in your area??

Again and sorry I have run on a bit (that happens when I have only a few moments online)
Find a trusted Spiritual Director or Priest you can confide in, let them help you to sort a few things out so you don’t feel lost or pulled in multiple directions.

Blessings,

 

[PerfectTiming]

10 years is a long time and “heard some things” is never something you should base a decision on. Word of mouth can distort facts, it can often be like Chinese Whispers. Unless he has personal experience of the community then take whatever he said with a pinch of salt, he really shouldn’t have said anything at all if he had nothing concrete, it’s inappropriate. If you feel you are interested in this community then going on a vocations retreat can’t hurt. It may give you some clarity.

 

[john78]

10 years is a long time and “heard some things” is never something you should base a decision on. Word of mouth can distort facts, it can often be like Chinese Whispers. Unless he has personal experience of the community then take whatever he said with a pinch of salt, he really shouldn’t have said anything at all if he had nothing concrete, it’s inappropriate. If you feel you are interested in this community then going on a vocations retreat can’t hurt. It may give you some clarity.

thank you, and when i posted this, i was upset, i did indeed take the time to think this out, i am not going to be detered by his statement and i am continuing on with the retreat as planned.

i can only speculate as to why he made the comment but i felt the same that it was just inappropriate, I am throwing the statement behind me, and as you said taking it with a grain of salt.

I still need some guidance and the other reply, thank you as well I might need to look for a new spiritual director…

but I wana give the one i got now a chance to reconnect before i move on, we had only met once, i feel comfortable talking to him, i think the problem is i may have way to many questions for him and too many personal hang ups for him to address which i am discussing here in the form instead. I am giving him plenty of space, i rarely email him but as i stated before my emails can be rather lengthy.

That and who knows maybe he doesnt have easy access to the internet, so perhaps a phone call is in order tomorrow…

and also, turns out my aunt and uncle who live in Ga know exactly of this monastery, and had nothing but praises for it, so that too eased my mind, but what set me back on path is, i have to stop letting other people influence my decisions so easily, that i need to research and decide for myself.

my intentions where not to join this particular monastery but to merely see how brothers live, and for personal reflection/retreat for a vocation, nothing more, I did not give my self the chance to explain that on the phone before the V.D made his comment, had I, who knows if he would have still made his comment. but i see why i got upset, i knew why i was going, i expected a bit of encouragement and instead i got an inappropriate comment.

and now back to the grain of salt and moving forward.

thank you two for the replies.

God Bless.