Gut feeling and trust?

[James1990]

I have recently started questioning one of my close friends intentions. I dont know if I can trust him, it just feels that the things I share with him will be used against me if the relationship sours.

My gut feeling is that this guy cant be trusted and I should distance myself from him. His personality has changed since I first met him years ago. So basically my gut says dont trust a friend of over 5 years and my head says hey you should not let a friend of 5 years go!

What would you do?

 

[Xantippe]

I have recently started questioning one of my close friends intentions. I dont know if I can trust him, it just feels that the things I share with him will be used against me if the relationship sours.

My gut feeling is that this guy cant be trusted and I should distance myself from him. His personality has changed since I first met him years ago. So basically my gut says dont trust a friend of over 5 years and my head says hey you should not let a friend of 5 years go!

What would you do?

Maybe dial back the friendship a little while staying in touch, and see how he behaves while on “probation”? (Without explaining to him that he’s on probation, of course.)

Re-evaluate things within half a year and decide whether or not you want to continue the friendship, but feel free to bail out earlier if things go bad.

Remember, you don’t need to give a friend the “We’re not friends anymore and here’s why!” speech once you decide you don’t want to be friends anymore. You can just be more and more “busy” when he wants to make plans, and you can space out your replies further and further.

 

[Anglewannabe]

I have recently started questioning one of my close friends intentions. I dont know if I can trust him, it just feels that the things I share with him will be used against me if the relationship sours.

My gut feeling is that this guy cant be trusted and I should distance myself from him. His personality has changed since I first met him years ago. So basically my gut says dont trust a friend of over 5 years and my head says hey you should not let a friend of 5 years go!

What would you do?

Loyalty is NOT always a good quality. First of, people change for better and for worse. Depending on your age, life circumstances for you and him may have changed significantly. Trust is a precious gift, do NOT cast your pearls on swines.

And by the way, marriage is the ONLY relationship were people vow ‘until death to us part’. You can’t expect any other relationship to last forever

 

[Frere]

I am in a similar situation.
I have a friend whose religious belief have sounded stupid and dangerous in the past, but since he seemed not to practice what he believed (was just somewhat fanatic), I let him be hoping that he will eventually see more clearly. But now we are in a situation where he have make clear whether he still believe those stupidity or not for our friendship to continue.

I once tried to tell him that we can’t be friends if he really believed what he was saying he believed. To be clear, For example, I asked him if he really believed that lying is a good thing approved by God in some situations. He basically said yes. I told him that we all lie out of weakness and luck of strong faith, but God can never approve a lie since by its very nature it makes things '‘false’: if you try to keep a friendship with falsehood, then you are making a false friendship.

He tries to act like we are normal friends, it seems that he forgot those words I told him earlier. My plan now is to find a good time/situation, and remind him of those words and also tell him that I was actually very serious. If you can’t apologize for a wrong done to your friend because you don’t believe it was a wrong, then it is a waste of time to keep the relationship. I can’t talk to him because I never know when he is sincere.

Basically, I believe the best plan of approach is to explain why the friendship is wrong, and then start with the strategy of putting more and more distance between us.

God bless!

 

[bisco1]

o/p, is your friend catholic?

 

[ClearWater]

I have recently started questioning one of my close friends intentions. I dont know if I can trust him, it just feels that the things I share with him will be used against me if the relationship sours.

My gut feeling is that this guy cant be trusted and I should distance myself from him. His personality has changed since I first met him years ago. So basically my gut says dont trust a friend of over 5 years and my head says hey you should not let a friend of 5 years go!

What would you do?

Trust your instincts. For now, caution is indicated.

 

[Sunbreak]

I would trust your gut feeling. Loyalty is sometimes well-intentioned but misplaced.

 

[DoGodsBidding]

I would trust your gut feeling. Loyalty is sometimes well-intentioned but misplaced.

Agreed. Your gut feeling is your conscience. One way to view conscience is to recognize it as God’s voice talking to us. To deliberately act against our conscience is a sin.

DGB

 

[James1990]

Nope. The friend is not Catholic.

Yea I guess I will go with my gut for now…

Have any of you guys ever ignored this bad feeling and then something bad happened?

 

[DoGodsBidding]

Nope. The friend is not Catholic.

Yea I guess I will go with my gut for now…

Have any of you guys ever ignored this bad feeling and then something bad happened?

I have indeed ignored my gut feeling and wished that I hadn’t . I do not recall a time when I went with my gut feeling and wished that I hadn’t. I have learned to trust my gut feeling, and I have not been let down.

DGB