C
chipeto
Guest
He was a French writer and adventurer, who died at the age of 32 during the German invasion. There doesn’t seem to be much about him available in English, but there are some excerpts from Étoile au grand large in “The Gift of Faith” by Fr. Tadeusz Dajczer. These really struck me, especially those about temptation, and I wanted to share them with you.
She was probably metis. She had splendid shoulders and the animal beauty of those of mixed-blood with thick lips and huge eyes. She was beautiful, wildly beautiful. There was truly only one thing left to do. I didn’t do it. I mounted my horse and rode away without looking back, crying out of despair and rage. I trust that on Judgement Day, if I have nothing else to give, I will offer God all of those embraces, which, out of love for him, I did not want to know.
Between Tahiti and Hollywood, on the coral beaches and the decks of steamships, to the rhythm of the dance, I held in my arms, the most beautiful women in the world. I had no intention of picking any one of these flowers offering themselves or passionately desiring to conquer. However, I judged it to be worthless. My body was aching, but it was for the sole love of God, that I played indifference.
Hard times come, when a temptation of sin takes hold of the flesh so strongly and irresistibly, that one can only automatically say, barely moving one’s lips and hardly believing in it: ‘My God, in spite of everything, I love You. Have pity on me.’ There are certain nights, when seated at the back of a church and not being able to pray …] I can only repeat that simple phrase, which I hold on to, as if to a life buoy so as not to sink: ‘My God, I love you in spite of everything.’
I have become so used to the presence of God in me that I always have a prayer deep in my heart which ascends to the lips like a blossom. This barely conscious prayer, which does not stop even when drowsing to the gentle rocking of a train or to the hum of a ship’s turbine, even in the rapture of the body or soul, even in the bustle of the city or when your mind is tensed in an absorbing task. Somewhere deep within me is infinitely calm and transparent water that cannot be affected either by shadows or by whirlpools on the surface. …] My whole life was one long quest for God. Everywhere, at any time, in the whole world, I have looked for His trace and His presence. Death will be for me only a wonderful release from the leash.