Guy lingo?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Kateri92
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
K

Kateri92

Guest
Guys say women are hard to figure out but sometime guys can be just as hard to figure out.
What does a Catholic guy say/ do when he is flirting? Would a young single catholic man comment on a woman’s appearance, personality etc. without having affection attached?
 
Hmm… Everyone’s different, of course, so I can’t tell you for sure what behavior would be flirting. A lot of people used to think my politeness was a sign that I liked them, when it was really just me being polite. So depending on the situation, it can be hard to tell.

However, you specifically mentioned comments on appearance and personality. These comments can just be polite compliments, depending on how they’re worded, but if it’s things like “you look beautiful,” “that’s a really pretty dress,” “that color looks really nice on you,” and so on, those are much more personal, and probably meant more affectionately than just a complimentary observation. For example, if I met someone who played the violin really well, I’d tell them they’re really good at the violin and usually something like I wish I knew how to play. Conversely, if my girlfriend was the one playing, I would phrase it more like “that was so beautiful, you always play so well, (when are you going to finally teach me how to play it :D).” Subtle differences, but the intensity of the adjectives and their connotations are more personal when I’m talking to my girlfriend versus someone else who’s talented. I don’t even know if any of this is helpful to you… I also wouldn’t give a random person, or even an acquaintance those kinds of compliments out of nowhere, it’d be after a performance, whereas I’ll tell my girlfriend as I think about it.

I personally give people compliments if I feel they’re appropriate. I wouldn’t say I comment on their appearance, personality, talents etc. in general though. A compliment to cheer someone up, acknowledge an accomplishment, or give congratulations, sure, but if in your case, you feel like someone specific is flirting with you, they probably are.
 
Kateri92 said:
What does a Catholic guy say/ do when he is flirting?
Click to expand...
Playful teasing. 🙂 And it’s not just young guys, it’s pretty much all of us.
Kateri92 said:
Would a young single catholic man comment on a woman’s appearance, personality etc. without having affection attached?
Click to expand...
Not sure what you mean by not having affection attached, because flirting and affection aren’t necessarily linked. However, most of the time a guy won’t comment on appearance unless he is flirting. The other thing is, it’s very hard for a guy to comment on a woman’s appearance without coming across as creepy, or too forward.
 
Kateri92 said:
Would a young single catholic man comment on a woman’s appearance, personality etc. without having affection attached?
Click to expand...
Catholic has nothing to do with it. In affairs are the heart, men and women are equally squirrely and that’s all there is to it.

So, yes, a Catholic young single guy might comment on these things without having any interest romantically. By the same token, he might comment because he has interest.

Don’t spend time trying to decode intentions. Especially not based on Catholic or not Catholic.
 
1ke said:
Catholic has nothing to do with it. In affairs are the heart, men and women are equally squirrely and that’s all there is to it.

So, yes, a Catholic young single guy might comment on these things without having any interest romantically. By the same token, he might comment because he has interest.

Don’t spend time trying to decode intentions. Especially not based on Catholic or not Catholic.
Click to expand...
Yep. Folks are different, you just can’t make generalizations…
 
As a guy, I don’t speak flirtese so I have no idea. I’ve had people tell me women were flirting with me, but I didn’t recognize it.
 
Bataar said:
As a guy, I don’t speak flirtese so I have no idea. I’ve had people tell me women were flirting with me, but I didn’t recognize it.
Click to expand...
Heh. I was doing a group project with a girl when she ripped my phone out of my hand with Facebook open, went through my profile ostensibly to get my email (but stopped scrolling to see if I was listed as single), and my only thought was “Wow she’s really serious about this project”.

Another time a different girl kept suggesting restaurants in the area and saying she was hungry and was free after class (this is after she sat right next to me in an empty lecture hall and we talked nonstop for about 40 minutes). I realized later she may have been giving me a hint. How much later? About 3 months.

I’m sort of hopeless.
 
So, I’m guessing most guys don’t just come out and tell a woman they like her. Unless they do? Do y’all say certain things to get a girl to get a hint? If a guy were to say a woman is pretty for instance, I would naturally think he is doping a hint but can it be said in a platonic manner? I’m totally clueless 😛
 
Kateri92 said:
So, I’m guessing most guys don’t just come out and tell a woman they like her. Unless they do? Do y’all say certain things to get a girl to get a hint? If a guy were to say a woman is pretty for instance, I would naturally think he is doping a hint but can it be said in a platonic manner? I’m totally clueless 😛
Click to expand...
Personally, I would not say a girl is pretty if I meant it only in a platonic way, but only because I assume she would take it as a hint.
 
I would have to say that it really depends on whether the guy is an extrovert or introvert.

The extrovert might compliment you in a variety of ways…if he is initiating the compliments he is interested.

An introvert might simply get quieter and somewhat nervous. The more nervous and awkward he is the more he likes you.

I would watch body language. There are a variety of good videos showing the signs to look for…

How is that for clarity?
 
Kateri92 said:
So, I’m guessing most guys don’t just come out and tell a woman they like her. Unless they do? Do y’all say certain things to get a girl to get a hint? If a guy were to say a woman is pretty for instance, I would naturally think he is doping a hint but can it be said in a platonic manner? I’m totally clueless 😛
Click to expand...
Most guys who just come out and say they like a girl will often experience rejection because while they may have built feelings for that person for a little while the other person usually hasn’t so it comes out of the blue and what is most people’s first reaction when presented with something unexpected? No!

So having learned this a lot of guys are more likely to just try to be near you. That gives them opportunities to play with. If it was me I would just tease you a lot with jokes. I would try to make you laugh. I would try to make a mental connection and would never think to compliment you on your looks because I would be afraid of being thought of as using pick-up lines or of being insincere. I would try to show you that I can be helpful and would be willing to do whatever you needed. I would not crowd you though because most guys learn that a girl can get awfully nervous if you come on too strong at first so it would be a lot of little things that would add up to an overall picture I guess. But then I’m pretty shy and rejection costs me a lot of confidence points so I like to play things safe.
 
Bill_Martin said:
Another time a different girl kept suggesting restaurants in the area and saying she was hungry and was free after class (this is after she sat right next to me in an empty lecture hall and we talked nonstop for about 40 minutes). I realized later she may have been giving me a hint. How much later? About 3 months.

I’m sort of hopeless.
Click to expand...
Love it. In college I had a summer job. There was a really cute girl who worked there. We were sitting together eating lunch one day, and she told me her boyfriend had been out of town and how lonely it was to eat dinner alone.

I said something like, “Huh. Yeah.”
Months later I realized she was inviting me to have dinner with her.
 
Kateri92 said:
So, I’m guessing most guys don’t just come out and tell a woman they like her. Unless they do? Do y’all say certain things to get a girl to get a hint? If a guy were to say a woman is pretty for instance, I would naturally think he is doping a hint but can it be said in a platonic manner? I’m totally clueless 😛
Click to expand...
Depends a lot on the guy’s personality and experience. While I was a bachelor, I never hesitated to tell a girl she was beautiful if I was interested in her at all. I knew she would discount it as outrageous flirting, but she at least knew it was flirting. Never, ever, ever did one of them act offended. (though maybe women would today)

I would seriously go up to a girl I didn’t know at all and say something like “…Gee, I hope you don’t take this badly, but I couldn’t help notice how beautiful you are.” I would tie it to something; “especially the color of your eyes, they’re really different”, or something that actually fit. Then I would say something like “Well, I guess I have made it obvious that I’m flirting, right? It’s a fault with me. I just say what I think, and I can’t help it.”

The rest would just be fitted to the situation.

So, yes, I would say if a guy says “You;'re pretty” right off, he’s flirting. I would never, under any circumstance whatever, say something like that if I wasn’t interested because it would give the girl the wrong idea and I couldn’t back out of it without intense mutual embarrassment.

I think some guys do want platonic relationships with women. I never did. I was always looking for “Ms. Right”, 100% of the time. Some guys are like that. I did end up with women friends, but it was secondary to the search.

But, say, in picking a woman up for a date, I ALWAYS complimented her on her appearance. Always. Getting dolled up can be a lot of work for a woman, and a man has to do that, and it doesn’t necessarily mean anything other than acknowledging her effort.
 
**
Kateri92 said:
So, I’m guessing most guys don’t just come out and tell a woman they like her. Unless they do? Do y’all say certain things to get a girl to get a hint? If a guy were to say a woman is pretty for instance, I would naturally think he is doping a hint but can it be said in a platonic manner? I’m totally clueless 😛
Click to expand...
Yes. No. Maybe.

All of the above.

You are asking the impossible. You want someone to give you an answer that is only accessible to those who can read the mind of the one who grave the compliment.
 
Kateri92 said:
So, I’m guessing most guys don’t just come out and tell a woman they like her. Unless they do? Do y’all say certain things to get a girl to get a hint? If a guy were to say a woman is pretty for instance, I would naturally think he is doping a hint but can it be said in a platonic manner? I’m totally clueless 😛
Click to expand...
I wouldn’t. Not until I’d been building a relationship and succeeding at least.

A guy you don’t hang out with asking if you want to go get coffee later is flirting. Whereas, if I’m working on a group project and ask my partner if she wants to go to Taco Bell or to get froyo isn’t flirting, I’m just hungry. But in that case, I know them well enough for that to not be weird or taken the wrong way, plus we’re both in relationships. I wouldn’t ask someone if they want to go to Starbucks if I’ve never hung out with them before. I also wouldn’t tell one of my friends from studio that they look pretty unless they were dressed up for a presentation.

I’d say it depends on how well they know you. If it’s, for example, a coworker who you work on projects with a lot who tells you you look nice before a presentation, it’s probably a platonic compliment to acknowledge the work you put into dressing up. If it’s someone you don’t know particularly well who’s single and tells you you look pretty after running into you after church or at the grocery, it’s probably flirting. If it’s a close friend you know very well and spend a lot of time with, who randomly tells you you’re pretty one day over lunch, it might be flirting.
 
How about this?

If you WANT him to be flirting, then he’s flirting. If you don’t want him to be flirting, he’s annoying.
 
on_the_hill said:
Playful teasing. 🙂 And it’s not just young guys, it’s pretty much all of us.

Not sure what you mean by not having affection attached, because flirting and affection aren’t necessarily linked. However, most of the time a guy won’t comment on appearance unless he is flirting. The other thing is, it’s very hard for a guy to comment on a woman’s appearance without coming across as creepy, or too forward.
Click to expand...
What does this mean? Guys flirt and don’t have feeling for the woman? I know from my view, I would never flirt on purpose unless I had at least some feelings for a guy.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top