Guys being approached by girls

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Here in the USA, there is a term for a woman who looks at a man for his money: “gold digger”.
Hah. Sure. You know the best what she wanted from you. I thought perhaps it was some kind of a not so very smart comment about your position. Guess I just wanted to try and defend the stranger. Certainly wouldn’t like to be dug for money, though I can imagine someone saying that kind of thing as a compliment or some expression of awe, especially if she was poor.
 
Hah. Sure. You know the best what she wanted from you. I thought perhaps it was some kind of a not so very smart comment about your position. Guess I just wanted to try and defend the stranger. Certainly wouldn’t like to be dug for money, though I can imagine someone saying that kind of thing as a compliment or some expression of awe, especially if she was poor.
The only reason I was given to justify a woman evaluating a man’s income was for a woman to evaluate if the man could support the family while she would be a stay-at-home-mom. I guess that would be an interesting conversation starter to really cut to the chase:

She: Oh, you must make a lot of money…

He: Yes! That’s so my wife can quit her job and be a stay-at-home-mom for our 15.4 kids and homeschool them and teach them Latin so they can follow the Tridentine Mass.

(If any male wants to be the “guinea pig” and try the above and has success, please report back to let us know how it went).
 
As a man myself, The man needs to go up to the woman if he is interested in her 99% percent of the time, to the best of my knowledge, IMHO.

If there have ever been any successful Christian marriages otherwise, I would be glad to hear it.

If anything I have said is against the Catholic Church, let it be anathema.
But didn’t you know from reading the posts here - we are not supposed to do anything, we have no say in it - if it is meant to be, a spouse will be sent our way and dropped in our laps!

[/sarcasm]
 
The only reason I was given to justify a woman evaluating a man’s income was for a woman to evaluate if the man could support the family while she would be a stay-at-home-mom.
Not sure if I’m able to get my point across, but let’s say:

[Factual, narrative] “…In the IT dept where I worked…”

[Awed, self-conscious] “You work in the IT? You must make a lot of money.”

[Dismissive] “Less than you’d think.”

[Still self-conscious] “Still a lot for me.”

Some people are very conscious of their income and professional or social limitations. That’d be different from:

[Factual, narrative] “…In the IT dept…”

[Interested, flattering] “Oh, you work in the IT dept! Wow. You must make a lot of money” draws closer
(If any male wants to be the “guinea pig” and try the above and has success, please report back to let us know how it went).
I’ve tried things, but not that kind. 😛 Generally, if I make a public pro-life comment, I’m set for ever after in a given environment.
 
He: Yes! That’s so my wife can quit her job and be a stay-at-home-mom for our 15.4 kids and homeschool them and teach them Latin so they can follow the Tridentine Mass.

(If any male wants to be the “guinea pig” and try the above and has success, please report back to let us know how it went).
I think that might be a better approach than you might realize. If you have a particular idea of what you want, you should probably be very up front about it. Especially if what you want is not what “most” people want.
 
It might not be the same as being approached but…

I met the woman who would become my wife online in college on 10/24/95 and we met in person the next day.

Seven days later on 10/31/95 my roomate threw a Halloween party. That night she took the initiative on moving in. Yup, brings over cloths, toiletries, and all of the other stuff it took to live with me (obviously we were not faithful Catholics back then) and never left.

I would have to consider that as her taking the aggresive posture at that point…lol…

Well, it’s going on 13 years and four babies this year. Not saying it would work for everyone but it worked for us. And before someone asks, I did cover the living together before marriage in confession.

Andy
 
I’ve always been told that a guy will approach you if he’s interested enough. If he’s shy or scared, or whatever, he’s not interested enough and it’s his problem, not yours.
I also read an advice column where a girl asked if she should ask the guy out because he was so shy but knew he liked her. The advice columnist said, Oh, okay, so from now on, whenever the guy lacks the you-know-what to do the “guy” thing, you’ll jump in and do it for him??
 
My son reports that he is continuously approached by young women who are after one thing only. He is very disgusted with today’s young women. He thinks they are pigs. He is in his early twenties.
That’s interesting–I also worry about the types of young ladies that are out there now, for my son. My son being the shy type, I wonder if he’ll be the one to approach. My daughter being very outgoing…has always ridden bikes with boys in the neighborhoods we’ve lived and are living in–I wonder if she’ll be forward enough to ask a boy out.:o I never asked a boy out, and I think that there’s something old fashioned about a boy making that first move…however, I teach my kids to be friends first…hang out in groups–that might make things easier, when they decide to date some day.

God give me strength and insight when their dating days begin.:o 🙂
 
I’ve always been told that a guy will approach you if he’s interested enough. If he’s shy or scared, or whatever, he’s not interested enough and it’s his problem, not yours.
I also read an advice column where a girl asked if she should ask the guy out because he was so shy but knew he liked her. The advice columnist said, Oh, okay, so from now on, whenever the guy lacks the you-know-what to do the “guy” thing, you’ll jump in and do it for him??
I kinda agree with that. I think that if as the woman, you are making the first move, many (not all) guys will expect you to make ‘their’ decisions for him. I have a close girlfriend, who asked her husband to marry her once upon a time, and she wonders why he is not good at making decisions, doesn’t do anything without her say so, and relies on her to do everything. I think that it sets a tone in a relationship. To each’s own. I’m sure there are many cases where it works, but I always believed (and still do) that the guy should make the first move. I think that if a guy is interested, he’ll ask. Just my thoughts.🙂
 
I’ve always been told that a guy will approach you if he’s interested enough. If he’s shy or scared, or whatever, he’s not interested enough and it’s his problem, not yours.
I’ll tend to agree, on second thought, even though I intended to say something different when I clicked “post reply”. I don’t actually like an all-passive reaction without feedback, but if I’m interested enough, I’ll sooner or later make the move. If I don’t make the move, means I wasn’t interested enough. However, in many cases I won’t pursue an acquaintance any further because of zero reaction. From the point of view of compatibility, this is probably better anyway.

However, the principle is only good if you’re both single and he knows that. If he thinks you aren’t single or has some other reasons to suppose you aren’t interested or available, then he won’t approach you. Some form of feedback is generally helpful. 😉
 
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