Guys: Do you have horrible MIL's?

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childofmary1143

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Lately I’ve been reading about how horrible some MIL’s are. Indeed what is written is quite shocking. However, I have noticed that the horrible MIL’s are the ones that are the husband’s/male fiance’s Mothers.

Do any guys here have MIL’s problems?
 
My DH sure does (Sorry for speaking for you KnightErrantJR). My mom is a nutbag… but then his mom has issues too… sort of a family joke around here (whose mom is more dysfunctional). I think guys are more able to blow them off then us women.
 
childofmary1143 said:
Lately I’ve been reading about how horrible some MIL’s are. Indeed what is written is quite shocking. However, I have noticed that the horrible MIL’s are the ones that are the husband’s/male fiance’s Mothers.

Do any guys here have MIL’s problems?
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Not me, my M-I-L is great!

Of course I knew how close my wife was to her family, so any real nut-jobs probably would have been a deal breaker, or forced a long distance move 😉

My mom introduced me to my wife, so that limits her ability to complain and cause mischief on the other end.

God Blees
 
My DH sure does…🤷

Unfortunately I never got to meet my MIL (she passed away years before I met DH), but from everything he and other people have told me, I know I would have loved her. 🙂
 
Ok, I’ll start with the bad since that’s what the OP asked:
My mother in law is very strongly opinionated and can get very…irritated because she’s always right.

However, on the plus side:
She’s available for babysitting at least 75%+ of the time.
She’s big into gardening and does all of the flowers around our pond and does the weeding.
She loves to paint and has painted every room in our house save one that didn’t need to be painted when we moved in.
We get along well most of the time, and genuinely like each other.

I think in some ways my wife has the harder “mother.” They are both very stubborn and that’s not good when they get in an argument. Add into that some issues when she was little, and it get’s worse.

She wasn’t my mother, so there’s no history between us from childhood. Also, on some of the bad I just let it go since I’m not as stubborn. The benefits far outweigh the bad.
 
My MIL is just fine. We get along great. It helps that as soon as we walk in the door, she immediately ask my wife why she hasn’t offered me anything to drink or eat. There is definitely a reason why she has relationship problems and attracts the wrong type of men.

Now my SIL on the other hand is horrible.
 
I love my MIL. One of the nicest people I’ve ever met, and can’t overlook the fact she cooks me a nice meal on my birthday.👍 Sure she has her quirks and I don’t agree with her on everything, but I have to respect a woman who loves her kids as much as she does.
 
My MIL is pretty great too, no complaints at all. I got to know both her parents before we married so I knew what I was getting into.

Now some extended family members are nutbags but so are some of mine… we just don’t hang out with them (but we are nice :))

Joe
 
BlestOne said:
My DH sure does (Sorry for speaking for you KnightErrantJR). My mom is a nutbag… but then his mom has issues too… sort of a family joke around here (whose mom is more dysfunctional). I think guys are more able to blow them off then us women.
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LOL!!!:rotfl: oh my gosh, that is the funniest thing …‘nutbag.’ I needed a good laugh today…thank you, BlestOne. (well, it’s not funny that your mom has issues, just the word nutbag struck me funny):o
 
Hi Matthew–I think a better thread title could be "do the men on here have difficulties with their FIL’s?’ Because I think the reason why some MIL’s are tough…is that they are of the same gender as their DIL’s, and just compare how they are as a mother, to how their DIL’s are…etc…etc…

Moms often baby their sons, and dads often baby their daughters…so, that’s why I think women tend to have more difficulties with some of their MIL’s, than with their FIL’s. Just my guess.
 
whatevergirl said:
Moms often baby their sons, and dads often baby their daughters…so, that’s why I think women tend to have more difficulties with some of their MIL’s, than with their FIL’s. Just my guess.
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My Gran once told me that Mum’s teach their daughters how to be mothers and teach their sons how to be mothered.

In answer to the thread, my MIL can be a huge pain at times, largely due to the fact that she still attempts to control my wife and, by association, my children and me. This is due to her own insecurities which she is unable to deal with or understand.

Us living only a mile away exacerbates this and makes me wonder whether we could have had a ‘normal’ relationship with a greater distance between us.
 
We’re not “buddies”, have little in common and really don’t do anything together outside of regular (mostly weekly) visits.

That being said - I love my MIL and FIL. They can both be a pain at times but I’m sure I can to them.

I’m so fortunate to have married into such a great situation.

To me, I couldn’t have asked for better people.
 
My dh is ‘lucky’…he never got to find out: both my parents died long ago!

Having said that, my dad was very similar to dh and I think they would have got on great! My mom believed in letting adult children make their own mistakes, so never gave me advice, never interfered…so, I think he would have been ok with her too.
 
I try my best to be a good MIL. I love my SIL very much and he and I are both history buffs. Sometimes my DD complains that she feels left out when we go on a Civil War binge.
 
Over the 4th of July weekend, I was having a wonderful conversation with an older woman…who has a two grown daughters and a grown son. One daughter and one son are married and have children.

She was telling me all about her grandchildren by her daughter (who was attending the party) and how lovely her daughter and her husband were.

Then, she proceeded to tell me how she never has any contact with her son and his family. Then she looked at me and said all daughters in law are evil. I found this absolutely hysterical since every woman at that table, herself and her daughter included, was someone’s daughter in law.🤷 :rolleyes:

In that particular case, though, I got the impression that he wasn’t a very good son to begin with, but she chose to ignore his faults until he was married, and then she blamed it on his wife. She told me…outright…that her daughters were her favorites. (Maybe that’s why son didn’t have contact with her, anymore?)

I actually got a big kick out of talking to her. She said that as an old person, she didn’t have to watch what she said, anymore, and could speak her mind. She was great to talk to, and seemed sweet, but I bet I wouldn’t like her as my MIL.
 
My poor DH has one. 😦 I dunno if you guys remember my previous posts about my mom being a complete jerk about us moving away (and that’s putting her behavior nicely).

She has said the DH “took me away from her”.

My mom has serious control issues, I think she has OCD for real, but my DH puts up with her like a champ. 🙂

My MIL passed away one week after I finally got to meet her when we were dating. She was a very sick woman, but a wonderful one. I kinda wished I would’ve had more time with my MIL, but then again, I’m glad she’s in a better place.
 
childofmary1143 said:
Lately I’ve been reading about how horrible some MIL’s are. Indeed what is written is quite shocking. However, I have noticed that the horrible MIL’s are the ones that are the husband’s/male fiance’s Mothers.

Do any guys here have MIL’s problems?
Click to expand...
No, my mother in law is great. She’s a little weird, but she’s a good person and raised a terrific daughter.
 
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