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LittleFlower37
Guest
Hello All! I have been dealing with sins of the flesh. This has been going on since I was 9. There are a lot of factors that go into this. One of which is being the victim of Ritual Abuse. Anyhow, my question is I went to confession this past Saturday and laid it all out to the priest. He was stern yet compassionate and advised that I pray the rosary. I have been advised this by past confessions, but, I have never taken it seriously, that is until this past Saturday. I have gotten fed up with the way I have been living my life and I don’t want to play with Our Lord by just thinking I can fall into these temptations or keep on excusing myself with the notion of “I have been a victim of SRA so God understands and I am not at fault.” While I know that Our Lord is compassionate and knows of all of my sufferings, I feel deep in my bones that he wants me to stop being the victim and become a survivor and warrior. So, I made my resolution this past Saturday to no longer be the victim and to fight!!! My question is that why am I being tortured? I started praying the rosary on Sunday and I have not been able to sleep well since. I am being kept up by the sounds of birds that start chirping at around 3:30-4:30am. And they don’t stop until around 6am. This has never happened before, not until I started praying the rosary. And last night I was tormented by lustful dreams even though I pray the rosary right before bed and I ask to be protected in my dreams. Why is this going on? Isn’t the rosary suppose to protect me? I really don’t understand. I want a new life in Christ! Why is this happening? Any feedback would be great! Thank you!!