Had a miscarriage, feeling down

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So recently I found out I was a few weeks pregnant to my boyfriend of a year (I struggle with sex before marriage, I say I wont do it anymore but then it happens, then I confess and so on). We were both shocked and scared. Im 24 he is 29. He stood right by me the whole time and said we could do it - we could have this baby and raise it and get married and all will be good. He made plans to buy a place and work whilst I had the baby. He is against abortion even though he isn’t a practising Catholic (he is baptized Catholic), and I’m also against it, so abortion was out of the question and always will be. Anyways, just as we had made plans, I started bleeding and found out I was miscarrying. This really saddened me. It has really saddened my boyfriend too and I feel I’m not getting the support I need from him because he is too affected by it. I can’t help feeling that this happened as a punishment for having sex before marriage? Does anyone else think this could be possible?
 
It’s easy to come to the conclusion that when a bad thing happens - in this case miscarriage - that’s it’s God’s wrath raining down as a punishment for the sins we commit. In the eternal plan of God, He only meant for your child to be conceived and live a very short time until Baby’s soul entered eternity. Miscarriages occur often of course, even in big Catholic households.

There’s a reason for your miscarriage but it’s normal for you and your boyfriend to mourn your baby’s loss. Maybe this is the Lord’s way of helping you contemplate his plan for you in regards to marriage. If there’s something to take away from it, stop having sex outside of marriage; let your future babies be conceived and born into a stable Catholic marriage.
 
There are miscarriage support groups if you look around–try your OB/GYN’s office for a referral. Even just one or two meetings could put you in a much better place. On the other hand, since you and your boyfriend both need help, you may want to pursue some other option for him.

Your boyfriend sounds like a really good guy.
 
I am so sorry that happened to you. Please don’t take it as a punishment from God. He would not kill an innocent child to punish you. Have comfort in knowing your child is with God and will live with Him forever.

Please do not lose faith. Everything happens for a reason. Have faith and be strong.

God Bless

Rita
Prayer for the Day
 
I am so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. It is NOT a punishment. God loves you and your baby. He would not kill your baby as a punishment for you.

You and your boyfriend love your baby and it is natural and normal to grieve your loss. Like others have said above, the best thing would be to find a support group. You will most likely meet others that are or have recently been going through the same grieving process. That kind of support can really help.
 
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have had several miscarriages and the heartache is terrible. I am sure your boyfriend is also heartbroken and not sure of what to say and do. No, it is not a punishment. We don’t get to know why it happens, but God is there to comfort you, turn to Him. Praying for you now.
 
I had a miscarriage outside of marriage, we married and had a beautiful boy!! Then, he left me and took the baby!!

I still love my boy though, it’s hard to say “why”…

Sending love in Christ, our True Love
 
I am so sorry for the loss of your child! I’ve had two miscarriages and it really does hurt. I found it helpful to name the babies and we were even able to bury one of them, even though the fetus was very very small.

The Church entrusts babies who die before baptism to the mercy of God. I believe that my two little ones are in heaven. You can pray to your little one and ask him to intercede for you that you may have the strength to avoid temptation with his father, to avoid premarital sex.
 
I’m so sorry for your loss as well as your boyfriend’s loss. My prayers go out to both of you. Like others have stated, this is not a punishment. If you are worried about the premarital sex, have you been to Reconciliation?
 
I’m so sorry for your loss:console::console::hug3::console:
I don’t have anything new to say that wasn’t already said.
So, get your rest, put your feet up and take good care of yourself.
 
I’m so sorry for your loss. Don’t think of it as a punishment. My wife and I had a miscarriage with our first and the doubt and worry were incredible. My wife kept wondering if it was punishment for things she’d done, whether she’d ever be able to have children. We went on to have three wonderful children without any problems whatsoever. My kids know about the miscarriage and pray for and to their sibling. They consider that sibling to be a very real part of the family and are looking forward to meeting them someday.

God bless you and yours, always.
 
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