You want to see them do a REAL double-take… try living with infertility for 22 years… when they ask, “Are you pregnant?” I always respond, “I WISH!” It never fails to render them dumbstruck. Not ONCE have I ever gotten a sympathetic response… much less an offer to recommend a fertility specialist!
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gretahope
Guest
I remember feeling the jab of a knife in my heart after living through such incredible pain of childlessness for almost 14 years, had two kids (seems to be the “cut off” number nowadays) and was told to seriously consider getting my tubes tied.
Bluerose: I’m not sure where you’re at now with all of this, but if you ever need anything, you can PM me. Been around the world and back regarding infertility.
Peace.
F
faithfully
Guest
Crazy!!!
Let’s see, when I was 16 I happened to drive my mom to her OB/Gyn for an out patient procedure. He saw me in the waiting room. Asked my mom how old I was, and asked when she’was going to put me on the pill.
After I had my twins, I went in for an exam, and I was asked what I was using for BirthControl. Seriously, I JUST HAD twins? My response… SLEEP! (that’s about as natural as you can get.)
People are very assuming. I can’t believe the “come in if you get PG, and I’ll prescribe the morning after pill.” WHAT???
Why not just offer an abortion? That’s the most crazy thing I’ve ever heard…
Let’s see, when I was 16 I happened to drive my mom to her OB/Gyn for an out patient procedure. He saw me in the waiting room. Asked my mom how old I was, and asked when she’was going to put me on the pill.
After I had my twins, I went in for an exam, and I was asked what I was using for BirthControl. Seriously, I JUST HAD twins? My response… SLEEP! (that’s about as natural as you can get.)
People are very assuming. I can’t believe the “come in if you get PG, and I’ll prescribe the morning after pill.” WHAT???
Why not just offer an abortion? That’s the most crazy thing I’ve ever heard…
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StJudePray4Me
Guest
I saw an OBGYN at my regular practice for an emergency visit, ( I had some disconcerting symptoms, but was not pregnant at the time.) but I had never seen him before, usually I saw the midwife. So keep in mind that I had literally NEVER met this man in my life.
He asked what BC I was using. So I said “none.” Now, I am a married woman in her 30s with 2 children, so I can’t imagine what could possibly be wrong with that. But his response was:
“Oh, the old “pull and pray” method?” And then he rolled his eyes.
I gave him an earful.
I never went back to the practice. Boy, was I pissed.
He asked what BC I was using. So I said “none.” Now, I am a married woman in her 30s with 2 children, so I can’t imagine what could possibly be wrong with that. But his response was:
“Oh, the old “pull and pray” method?” And then he rolled his eyes.
I gave him an earful.
I never went back to the practice. Boy, was I pissed.
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nurseryworker
Guest
nickybr, I think we had the same er doc! I was 14, 14, and went to the emerg because of weird and painful cramping and nausea. The female dr asked me if I was pregnant.I don’t have any stories about birth control but the last time I was in the emergency room the nurse asked me: “Are you pregnant?”
I responded; “Nope! There’s no possible way I could be.”
“Are you on birth control?”
“Nope!”
“Then you could be pregnant.”
“No… I’m a virgin.”
At this point she scoffed at me. “Look, your parents aren’t here. You don’t have to lie.”
I gave up trying to convince her of my innocence and the doctor later ended up insisting on a pregnancy test. Whatever.
Me: No.
Dr: Well, you never know.
Me: I know because I’m a virgin.
Dr: Oh, come on, not even a little sex?
Me: I’ve never even kissed a boy.
Dr: You are my patient. I can’t tell your dad anything that we talk about.
Me: I know that and I’ve told you I’m not pregnant.
This went on for a while. She just wouldn’t believe that I was a virgin at 14. She collected some urine and blood and when she came back she announced:
“Good news, you’re not pregnant!”
Me: I already knew I wasn’t pregnant.
Dr: Well, now you know,** for sure!**
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faithfully
Guest
How’s this for a flip… MY DH went into Er in his early 30’s for a severly swollen, and painful testicle. We were concerned there might be a torsion or something.
They informed him without any testing or investigation at ALL that he had an STD, and insisted that he take a certain RX. He informed them there was NO WAY he had an STD, as he trusted his wife was faithfull, and so was he. Big eye roll.
When I was finally able to get him into a urologist, and they did some actual diagnostic testing he was informed he had epididymitis a condition usually had by the very young or old. And they had given him the WRONG meds. USELESS meds. When the correct meds were given, the swelling went down, and we further discovered he actually had Cancer…
Wonder if the same doc. would accuse me of that too???
They informed him without any testing or investigation at ALL that he had an STD, and insisted that he take a certain RX. He informed them there was NO WAY he had an STD, as he trusted his wife was faithfull, and so was he. Big eye roll.
When I was finally able to get him into a urologist, and they did some actual diagnostic testing he was informed he had epididymitis a condition usually had by the very young or old. And they had given him the WRONG meds. USELESS meds. When the correct meds were given, the swelling went down, and we further discovered he actually had Cancer…
Wonder if the same doc. would accuse me of that too???
F
faithfully
Guest
Whenever someone asks me if I’m PG, and I say no, I KNOW for sure. And they insist perhaps otherwise. I just Say, “well then. Get down on your knees and start praying. As the 2nd coming must be about to happen!!”nickybr, I think we had the same er doc! I was 14, 14, and went to the emerg because of weird and painful cramping and nausea. The female dr asked me if I was pregnant.
Me: No.
Dr: Well, you never know.
Me: I know because I’m a virgin.
Dr: Oh, come on, not even a little sex?
Me: I’ve never even kissed a boy.
Dr: You are my patient. I can’t tell your dad anything that we talk about.
Me: I know that and I’ve told you I’m not pregnant.
This went on for a while. She just wouldn’t believe that I was a virgin at 14. She collected some urine and blood and when she came back she announced:
“Good news, you’re not pregnant!”
Me: I already knew I wasn’t pregnant.
Dr: Well, now you know,** for sure!**
N
nickybr38
Guest
ROFL
A joke amongst my friends (during my … less obedient days) was that if Nicky is pregnant she’s carrying the anti-Christ. :\ Bad joke but um… yeah.
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IgnatiusDaughtr
Guest
I didn’t like my last PCP, but thankfully she at least accepted the fact that I couldn’t be pregnant since I had never had sex! Since getting married, we’ve moved and I’m still looking for a new PCP and am dreading having this conversation. I’m not hopeful that I’ll find a doctor who understands or supports NFP (already checked omsoul.com… no one in our area) but I hope that she will at least treat me with an ounce of respect! It’s really quite sad that this is something we need to be worried about… 
J
joandarc2008
Guest
I get all my care through the VA- needless to say between secular counseling and GYN care I have had my share of fun - even being told that I should consider dating during my divorce to get over my ex-husband. I stopped seeing that therapist immediately!
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Kat127
Guest
I use to dread going to the College Health Center. Here is a script of my last visit. I was 21 and had the flu.
Them: “When was your last period?”
Me: “Oh I dunno- 2 months ago maybe.”
Them:
Me: “No, it is ok. I’m just like my mom and my grandmother- they weren’t regular either.”
Them:
Me" “So um…about this high fever I am having.”
Them: “So you need a pregnancy test…”
Me: “No, I know I’m not pregnant- I just told you this is normal for me.”
Them: “We should make sure”
Me: “I KNOW I’m not- I haven’t had sex”
Them:
Miss, is is a serious thing to lie about your medical history. We rely on the information you give us…"
Me: No you don’t. You don’t believe the information I give you.
I walked out and never went back.
I told my mom about it. She was so mad she called up the head of the Health Center (I don’t know how she didn’t get screen out before she reached him) and gave him an earful!
He tried to tell my mom that it was common for young girls to experiment now. The funniest thing I have ever heard was my mom going: “Common!?! You are calling my daughter common now!”
I thought all that would end once I got married…oh this is going to be fun.
Them: “When was your last period?”
Me: “Oh I dunno- 2 months ago maybe.”
Them:
Me: “No, it is ok. I’m just like my mom and my grandmother- they weren’t regular either.”
Them:
Me" “So um…about this high fever I am having.”
Them: “So you need a pregnancy test…”
Me: “No, I know I’m not pregnant- I just told you this is normal for me.”
Them: “We should make sure”
Me: “I KNOW I’m not- I haven’t had sex”
Them:
Miss, is is a serious thing to lie about your medical history. We rely on the information you give us…"Me: No you don’t. You don’t believe the information I give you.
I walked out and never went back.
I told my mom about it. She was so mad she called up the head of the Health Center (I don’t know how she didn’t get screen out before she reached him) and gave him an earful!
He tried to tell my mom that it was common for young girls to experiment now. The funniest thing I have ever heard was my mom going: “Common!?! You are calling my daughter common now!”
I thought all that would end once I got married…oh this is going to be fun.
A
Alexander_Smith
Guest
That’s hilarious!! 
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Joseph_L_Varga
Guest
I wish I could see that guy’s face!
He probably thought he was seeing space aliens! People who still believe in good old-fashioned Christian chastity and virtue, and actually PRACTICE it!
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Sullibe
Guest
My experience was quite the opposite. After the birth of my 4th child my OB/GYN asked me what I wanted to do for Birth Control. I mentioned that we just play it by ear and leave it up to God. My OB’s response? “Well that’s good for my business!” LOL!
At least he saw it as a positive.
LOL!At least he saw it as a positive.
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ForAll
Guest
What a bummer that your student health center was so jerky!
I have to give a shout out–the doc I had at my last OB/GYN appt at the Univ. of Alabama SHC was FANTASTIC. I told her I hadn’t had my period in a month, but that was pretty standard and I’m not having sex. She says, “I’m really sorry, but they require us to do a pregnancy test–I believe that you’re not having sex, but I have to make you pee in this cup anyway!” It was a very nice way of asking me to do a test, whether she really did believe me or not.
Then I told her about some of my concerns…
Doc: well we would need to know if you’re ovulating regularly…I guess you wouldn’t know…I know this sounds weird, but have you noticed any…change down there every month?
Me: oh, you mean my cervical mucus? Oh yeah! I’m doing Creighton Method NFP, so I’m all about that…
Doc: Oh my goodness! That’s so great–it helps you know so much more about your body!
Me: Heck yes it does!
She was a total hippie crunchy type (which to be fair, is totally my fam background) so we got along just fine. I’m sure not all student health centers are like this, but I’m glad mine is!
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faithfully
Guest
You know, I can understand the requirement for a PG test. Because so many women don’t realize they are PG (so much so they now have a reality show.) There are medications, and treatements that would be damaging to an unborn child. I can understand, for the sake of mal practice lawsuits, as I bet one or two has happened where someone did say there was no way, and then they were, and their parents sued. And the way this Dr. handled it is THE way to handle it. I’m sorry, I have to give you this test. (I might suggest that I’m not going to pay for an unwarranted test.) But I understand the CYA that’s happening. But when they’re just out and out rude, or call you liar, or just make crass assumptions… That’s just a whole new problem…
I guess it’s back to bed-side-manner… 2 doctors can be telling you that you have cancer. One can be compassionate, the other a horror story. It happens all the time.
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ForAll
Guest
I think that’s why I didn’t get upset about it–some young women do feel the need to lie, especially in a town as “small” as this one. Since the test is covered totally by my insurance, I was okay with it.
It’s sad that many young women lie, but I do think that’s a reality. Some women discount certain “encounters” because they were drunk or it was very traumatizing, etc. and they don’t even want to tell their doctors. It’s sad that others of us have to put up with unnecessary testing because of it, but it’s a cost I’m willing to put up with–at least so long as the doc is nice about it!
S
StJudePray4Me
Guest
This is what I’ve been thinking. I know that some doctors’ bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired, but I also know that MANY MANY young girls lie to doctors. Insist that they are virgins, and lo and behold, there’s a Pos. pregnancy test or STD test.
What I don’t understand is why the MD would pursue it with the patient to that degree, calling her a liar, instead of just saying “OK, great, but it’s protocol that we must do a pregnancy test on all women of childbearing age,” etc.
Am I wrong in thinking that women are supposed to have a pap smear even before they are sexually active? I thought once you had your period for a while, you were supposed to go?
Also, I just wanted to comment about the acne medication. I believe that you are referring to a medicine that has been shown to cause really profound birth defects when used by pregnant women. I believe that the FDA required the pregnancy tests for women in order to approve the use of the drug. I am not sure why one wouldn’t just take the pregnancy tests, knowing that they will always be negative. I’m not sure why a pharmacist would be expected to take someone’s word for it that they are not pregnant in a world where people have been known to lie upon occasion!
I am totally with you all as far as the obnoxiousness of doctors who push ABC on people, or who scoff at NFP or abstention as forms of birth control, or call you a liar if you say you’re a virgin, but I don’t understand why one would take it personally when a doctor needs empirical proof of pregnancy or STDs in order to make a diagnosis or treatment plan. Again, people lie to doctors all the time.
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dranzal
Guest
OB: So, after this baby, what do you want to do for BC?
Me: Breastfeeding…then, hmm, pregnancy! Added bonus of few menstrual cycles. It’s really hard to get pregnant when you’re already pregnant.
Me: Breastfeeding…then, hmm, pregnancy! Added bonus of few menstrual cycles.
It’s really hard to get pregnant when you’re already pregnant.
R
raaucoin
Guest
So many professions demand “sensitivity training” as it relates to political correctness. Since being Catholic is not politically correct, I guess it is to much to expect a physician would automatically be trained to be sensitive to Catholic women and men. Often times it truly is just ignorance. Having said that:
My friend works for a gynecologist. So many of her patients truly do not know how pregnancy results. A majority of poor and uneducated are not using any birth control. NFP is no where near being heard of. Her conversations with them usually goes like this:
“Are you pregnant?”
“NOOO!!”
“you aren’t sexually active?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you having sex?”
“Oh yea!!” (with a big smile of accomplishment)
“Are you using any kind of protection or birth control?”
“NO! I don’t get pregnant.”
{Friend reads pregnancy test}
“Well, you are now!”.
Physicians or nurses who are not Catholic don’t necessarily have the same moral values in regards to birth control and family planning as we do. Maybe we have more work to do in evangelization. But what they experience day in and day out is in fact ignorance. And day in and day out they are dealing with young women under the age of 25 with 5 kids and now another on the way with very little hope of adequately caring for them. And trust me, all of the implications of that weigh heavy and they carry it home.
There have been many instances when my friend has pregnant patients who insist they haven’t had sex. And it comes down to them not knowing that what they are doing IS sex.
Hard to believe that in an age where promiscuity is so rampant, they truly “know not what they do.” -So yes, sometimes it is truly hard for even medical professionals to believe that virginity is still possible,and family planning can be truly consciously entrusted to divine providence.
And it is possible that a physician who genuinely cares for his/ her patients might really believe birth control is best. Again, that’s another opportunity for evangelization. Don’t forget to pray for doctor’s and medical professionals. And support your faithful Catholic ob/gyns who struggle to remain faithful. There are still some out there!
My friend works for a gynecologist. So many of her patients truly do not know how pregnancy results. A majority of poor and uneducated are not using any birth control. NFP is no where near being heard of. Her conversations with them usually goes like this:
“Are you pregnant?”
“NOOO!!”
“you aren’t sexually active?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you having sex?”
“Oh yea!!” (with a big smile of accomplishment)
“Are you using any kind of protection or birth control?”
“NO! I don’t get pregnant.”
{Friend reads pregnancy test}
“Well, you are now!”.
Physicians or nurses who are not Catholic don’t necessarily have the same moral values in regards to birth control and family planning as we do. Maybe we have more work to do in evangelization. But what they experience day in and day out is in fact ignorance. And day in and day out they are dealing with young women under the age of 25 with 5 kids and now another on the way with very little hope of adequately caring for them. And trust me, all of the implications of that weigh heavy and they carry it home.
There have been many instances when my friend has pregnant patients who insist they haven’t had sex. And it comes down to them not knowing that what they are doing IS sex.
Hard to believe that in an age where promiscuity is so rampant, they truly “know not what they do.” -So yes, sometimes it is truly hard for even medical professionals to believe that virginity is still possible,and family planning can be truly consciously entrusted to divine providence.
And it is possible that a physician who genuinely cares for his/ her patients might really believe birth control is best. Again, that’s another opportunity for evangelization. Don’t forget to pray for doctor’s and medical professionals. And support your faithful Catholic ob/gyns who struggle to remain faithful. There are still some out there!
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