Half dreading Easter Vigil...

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Figment713

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After spending what truly is more than half of my life contemplating making the “trip across the Tiber”, I finally started attending RCIA this past fall. If things proceed as expected I should become “fully Catholic” at the Easter Vigil this year (April 15th…less than 4 months away now).

While this is someting I want, possibly more than you who are already a part of the church can understand, I also have a bit of a problem.

You see: I truly am painfully shy. And, since I’ve never even been baptized (raised by the sort of parents who left it to their 8 children to decide matters of faith on their own :eek: ), this is all really going to be a to do. Me, I’d sort of rather “sneak in the back door” so to speak…just be non participatory in the Eucharist on Palm Sunday, and then be able to participate fully on Easter.

I know that this is more than a personal thing…that it’s becoming a part of a “tribe”. It’s just the very thought of standing in the front of the tribe and having everyone watch makes me want to vomit. (I had a bad enough time at the Rite of Acceptance, and that was really fast!)

Has anyone else ever felt this way?

(I know. I know. I should simply learn to “give it up”. I’m just hoping not to pass out or vomit on Father’s shoes!)
 
Maybe if you just discuss it with your priest, he’d be willing to initiate you before (or shortly after) Easter.

There isn’t any Catholic doctrine which requires that converts be brought in at Easter.
 
The reception of the Sacraments doesn’t take much time, either. You won’t be standing in front of the entire congregation for very long. Remember, you will have your sponsor with you also.

I think the joy will sweep away any anxiety you have about the moment. Please reconsider. It truly is awesome!
 
please don’t dread it, it will be so awesome there is no way to describe it. The actual baptism is a matter of a moment, a minute or so, your sponsor will be standing next to you. Also the church will be crowded and most people wont be able to see you anyhow. they are participating with you, not watching you like entertainment. Believe me, you will appreciate all those people praying for you in unity.

If you don’t want people to applaud or to be “presented” to the people or any such thing, just tell the priest ahead of time. He will respect your feelings. Actually the Easter Vigil is the preferred time for adult baptism and confirmation, and that is the occassion your priest has the faculty to confirm. It could be done at another time, with the bishop’s permission if there is a good reason, but please discuss it with the priest now, don’t wait until the last minute.
 
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Figment713:
After spending what truly is more than half of my life contemplating making the “trip across the Tiber”, I finally started attending RCIA this past fall. If things proceed as expected I should become “fully Catholic” at the Easter Vigil this year (April 15th…less than 4 months away now).

While this is someting I want, possibly more than you who are already a part of the church can understand, I also have a bit of a problem.

You see: I truly am painfully shy. And, since I’ve never even been baptized (raised by the sort of parents who left it to their 8 children to decide matters of faith on their own :eek: ), this is all really going to be a to do. Me, I’d sort of rather “sneak in the back door” so to speak…just be non participatory in the Eucharist on Palm Sunday, and then be able to participate fully on Easter.

I know that this is more than a personal thing…that it’s becoming a part of a “tribe”. It’s just the very thought of standing in the front of the tribe and having everyone watch makes me want to vomit. (I had a bad enough time at the Rite of Acceptance, and that was really fast!)

Has anyone else ever felt this way?

(I know. I know. I should simply learn to “give it up”. I’m just hoping not to pass out or vomit on Father’s shoes!)
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Talk to your personal physician **EDIT. ** , but it would be wonderful if you could enjoy the Mass without the feelings you are struggling with right now.
 
I was just reading the other day about how, when she was young - er, younger - St. Therese of Lisieux was painfully shy: exactly the words you use. However, she was miraculously cured of this sensitivity through an actual grace received at Midnight Mass on Christmas when she was 13. She didn’t grow out of it, she didn’t employ psychological remedies - no, she was supernaturally healed by the Infant Jesus.

So here’s a thought: let Therese handle the problem for you. Read her autobiography, if you haven’t already. If you have, read something else by or about her. I recommend her Last Conversations (tr. John Clarke, OCD; ICS PUblications, 1977). Then offer your shyness in a novena to her as the Big Day approaches. All I can say is, she’s never let me down. 👍

This Easter will mark my 16th anniversary of being in your shoes up there. Welcome to the One True Church! :clapping:
 
I’ll pray for you. I agree with Altarman. If the priest won’t do it privately and respect you and your unique circumstances ask your doctor. Surely he can help you out for one evening by prescribing something for you. And no matter what anyone tells you I can imagine it still will be hard for you. I know a guy at a church that has anxiety about being around people. Sometimes you’ll see him after church just so beside himself. He is working on it, but seeing him makes me understand where you are coming from. It isn’t something that people can just make alright for you, you’ll have to do something about it yourself. Talk to the priest and doctor.
 
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Kielbasi:
Maybe if you just discuss it with your priest, he’d be willing to initiate you before (or shortly after) Easter.

There isn’t any Catholic doctrine which requires that converts be brought in at Easter.
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Actually there are liturgical rules that say that Catechumens (Adults) are Baptized only at the Easter vigil, with exceptions for certain circumstances. The norm is at the Easter Vigil. Hopefully by now you have a very strong relationship with your Sponsor, who is there to help you. That you also have a bond with the other Catechumens and Candidiates who should support each other and the RCIA team who is also there for you.
 
Especially Valium. My goodness what a bad piece of advice. I have had patients react very poorly to Diazepam (valium) Please taking anixiety medication prior to such an event is just asking for trouble and could mute the whole experience for you.

Pray for courage and offer you anxiety up in prayer. You have a sponsor and let them know of your anxiety. If you simply cannot take it then make sure your priest knows. This may sound a little silly but your phycician can help. Not by giving medication but giving your priest a heads up or even a note stating your condition of anxiety. Severe anxiety can likely be an excuse to be recieved into the church in private.
 
Ya’ll may want to slam me on this, but I sympathize. I hate getting up in front of people. When I had my confirmation, it was very uncomfortable. I have the very bad fortune of smiling and laughing when I am nervous which can come across to those who don’t know me well as very disrespectful. I think the OP should talk to his priest. Maybe as another poster suggested, he could come in a little earlier (as was indicated, there are rules for this being done on the Easter vigil). I just think that if the OP is that nervous, it seems a better option than medication. If you have to be medicated, how meaningful could it be? I have to look at it like a wedding, it would be great for the wedding day to be perfect, but it’s not the wedding day that makes a great marriage, it’s every day after that moment. To the OP, do what you need to do to make this very important event happen, even if it is not the glorious, perfect moment that everyone talks about. What is happening is what is important and whether that is in front of 3 people or 300 is not important. It will be in front of God no matter how you do it. Remember all Catholics all over the world are one church so we don’t have to be physically present to rejoice your initiation into the church. Best of luck with which ever decision you make.
 
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Figment713:
After spending what truly is more than half of my life contemplating making the “trip across the Tiber”, I finally started attending RCIA this past fall. If things proceed as expected I should become “fully Catholic” at the Easter Vigil this year (April 15th…less than 4 months away now).
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Congratulations! What parish are entering? St Adalbert, St. Mary, somewhere else?

Relax.
I’m sure you’ll do fine, and nobody’s staring at you in particular.
 
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decn2b:
Especially Valium. My goodness what a bad piece of advice. I have had patients react very poorly to Diazepam (valium) Please taking anixiety medication prior to such an event is just asking for trouble and could mute the whole experience for you.

Pray for courage and offer you anxiety up in prayer. You have a sponsor and let them know of your anxiety. If you simply cannot take it then make sure your priest knows. This may sound a little silly but your phycician can help. Not by giving medication but giving your priest a heads up or even a note stating your condition of anxiety. Severe anxiety can likely be an excuse to be recieved into the church in private.
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You’re wrong.

A prescription from a competent physician for the one evening could make all the difference in the world.

While I think it’s nearly a last resort (right ahead of skipping the Vigil Mass and doing it alone), it’s terribly irresponsible to suggest it’s “bad advice” given that you do not know the person.

As suggested, she should talk to her priest and her doctor.
 
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Monica37:
Ya’ll may want to slam me on this, but I sympathize. I hate getting up in front of people. When I had my confirmation, it was very uncomfortable. I have the very bad fortune of smiling and laughing when I am nervous which can come across to those who don’t know me well as very disrespectful. I think the OP should talk to his priest. Maybe as another poster suggested, he could come in a little earlier (as was indicated, there are rules for this being done on the Easter vigil). I just think that if the OP is that nervous, it seems a better option than medication.** If you have to be medicated, how meaningful could it be?** I have to look at it like a wedding, it would be great for the wedding day to be perfect, but it’s not the wedding day that makes a great marriage, it’s every day after that moment. To the OP, do what you need to do to make this very important event happen, even if it is not the glorious, perfect moment that everyone talks about. What is happening is what is important and whether that is in front of 3 people or 300 is not important. It will be in front of God no matter how you do it. Remember all Catholics all over the world are one church so we don’t have to be physically present to rejoice your initiation into the church. Best of luck with which ever decision you make.
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Just what sorta state do you think someone is in when they take a prescribed tablet of Xanax? If you’re thinking zombie-like or numb, you’re confused.

The fact of the matter is that her initiation may mean a great deal more if she’s not experiencing anxiety during the Mass…
 
I’ll be in the same boat this Easter Vigil as Figment713 and let me tell you I have the same fears, but I have a “This too shall pass” attitude. I still get sweaty when my RCIA class is dismissed after the Homily at Mass, but the greater reward will be that Easter Vigil Confirmation. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
 
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decn2b:
Especially Valium. My goodness what a bad piece of advice. I have had patients react very poorly to Diazepam (valium) Please taking anixiety medication prior to such an event is just asking for trouble and could mute the whole experience for you.

Pray for courage and offer you anxiety up in prayer. You have a sponsor and let them know of your anxiety. If you simply cannot take it then make sure your priest knows. This may sound a little silly but your phycician can help. Not by giving medication but giving your priest a heads up or even a note stating your condition of anxiety. Severe anxiety can likely be an excuse to be recieved into the church in private.
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Good advise. Offering it up is something many of us have come to after many years of struggle. Asking a neophyte to do so (although all things are possible with God) is like asking the newborn to get up and walk!

In addition to the above advise may I suggest to ask the Holy Spirit to help you be calm and to hold you up while you do this.

Some thoughts, this is a time of trial for many Catechumens. The Devil uses everything he can to stop this from happening and he may be using your natural born shyness to stop you from going through with this. Remember he doesn’t want you with God! The most holy people are the most attacked by the devil because they are the ones he has to work the hardest to get and are by far the ones he feels the most pride in getting.

I will be praying for you. That you may be able to “offer it up” but remember “offering it up” does not mean you must not take action to resolve the issue. It doesn’t mean either that you will not continue to feel the nausea and fear of having to get up in front of the entire Congregation!

God Loves You. We all do and everyone who reads this thread will surely be praying whether they say so or not.

Brenda V.
 
I had a private baptism 12 years ago because my Parish is small and doesn’t have an RCIA program. I’m so thankful, I think it’s very inflexible and insensitive to expect everyone to be able to tolerate going up in front of the whole church to be baptised. I would have hated that since I’m very easily embarrassed to be ‘up on stage’, so to speak.

I think it’s ridiculous to have to take a medication. It should be up to the individual to be baptized before Mass or during. The Church should truly acknowledge and accomadate the fact that human beings are very different in their temperments.
 
Detroit Sue:
The reception of the Sacraments doesn’t take much time, either. You won’t be standing in front of the entire congregation for very long. Remember, you will have your sponsor with you also.

I think the joy will sweep away any anxiety you have about the moment. Please reconsider. It truly is awesome!
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I was so scared and nervous too last Easter, but like Sue said, the joy sweeps you away.

I was shaking walking up there with my class, at the end of it I actually turned around to look at my family (which were sitting on the very back pew) and smiled like I had won the lottery. Slowly my eyes drifted from my family to the other people in front of them and everyone was smiling. It was the best feeling in the world.

There’s nothing wrong with being nervous, trust me, it won’t last long. Congratulations on soon becoming a member of the best religion in the world! 🙂
 
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Figment713:
After spending what truly is more than half of my life contemplating making the “trip across the Tiber”, I finally started attending RCIA this past fall. If things proceed as expected I should become “fully Catholic” at the Easter Vigil this year (April 15th…less than 4 months away now).
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Have you already been baptised? If you are taking a “trip across the Tiber” from a separated ecclesial Community (for example Anglican) then you will not be baptised again at the Easter Vigil.

The two situations are treated quite differently in the liturgical book. If you are already baptised then the ceremony is called “Reception of Baptized Christians into the Full Communion of the Catholic Church”. It is sympathetic to the idea that someone may want this to be less public, saying:

“Any appearance of triumphalism should be carefully avoided and the manner of celebrating this Mass should be decided beforehand and with a view to the particular circumstances. Both the ecumenical implications and the bond between the candidate and the parish community should be considered. Often it will be preferable to celebrate the Mass with only a few relatives and friends. If for a serious reason Mass cannot be celebrated, the reception should at least take place with a liturgy of the word, whenever this is possible. The person to be received into full communion should be consulted about the form of reception.”

Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults, n. 475.2, Reception of Baptized Christians into the Full Communion of the Catholic Church, R3. (From The Rites, Volume One, Liturgical Press, 1990, ISBN 0-8146-6015-0, page 275).

Despite the above, for the USA there is an Appendix 1 to this Rite which has additional ceremonies, including Rite 4 “Celebration at the Easter Vigil of the Sacraments of Initiation and of the Rite of Reception into the Full Communion of the Catholic Church.” (The Rites, Volume One, page 323). It begins saying “562. Pastoral considerations may suggest …” combining the rites. Perhaps in your case it would be better not to combine the rites.

Perhaps you could discuss this with the leaders of the RCIA program, or the parish priest, or the bishop.
 
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AltarMan:
Talk to your personal physician. Perhaps an anti-anxiety drug like Xanax or Valium (for the one evening) would be indicated. Some people may decry this as somehow being wrong, but it would be wonderful if you could enjoy the Mass without the feelings you are struggling with right now.
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I fully agree with you.
 
I was confirmed as an adult at the Easter Vigil. I vividly remember breaking out in a cold sweat as some leotard-clad liturgical dancer did her number on the sanctuary steps and in the sanctuary. Her big finale was pouring ewer after ewer of water into the Rubbermaid hog trough (seriously) used for full-immersion baptising that night.

Her performance was so tawdry and abusive that had it not been for my sponsor and my parents in attendance, I would have got up and walked out. It was horrible.

I remember thinking beforehand about asking my doctor for a perscription for a Xanax tablet because I was almost certain it was going to be a seriously nerve-wracking evening. I wish I had, as I would never offer such garbage up to God…
 
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