Hand holding in the OF during the OF

[Kathryn_Ann]

I think this is a good question. I used to hold hands during the Our Father because I thought we were supposed to and no one told me differently. After doing some reading here and elsewhere, and some prayerful reflection, I’ve decided to stop doing so and I think it’s been to my personal spiritual benefit. But, what about the development makes it non-organic (or inorganic…chemistry joke!)

I understand that there is a Protestant Charismatic movement, and that there is also a Catholic Charismatic movement. I also understand that handholding may have come from AA. Wouldn’t people who saw those practices there and began doing them during Mass be the definition of an “organic” change?

**
I’ve heard that too, (about the AA.) I also used to think we were supposed to hold hands during the OF. I would never hurt someone who reached out to do so, but I like to pray during the OF with my hands folded in prayer, eyes closed.

:angel1: I noticed when visiting some parishes in the Northeast that few were holding hands at that time, (during the OF) If I was visiting more than one Sunday at a parish where everyone did so, I would not want to insult anyone. I do like the opportunity during the Peace to shake hands. Someone pointed out in an earlier discussion on this that we are “One” because of our participation in the Celebration of the Holy Eucharist, not because of hand-holding. I thought that was a good point. I noticed that after I stopped the practice of holding hands during the OF, that many others also stopped this. But we are all very cordial during The Peace!
Blessings to all**
:harp:

 

[Ohana]

Do trads not smile?

I think maybe they are too caught up with finding obscure points of canon law (or not). Kind of brings up that old saw about missing the forest for the trees! I found legelism of the Church of the 50’s off-putting and am finding the same issue with some of the trads who post on here. What is most distressing is that this somehow gets in the way of my worship of God in a way that seems natural and right to me. What next - being a lay woman I should not meditate, contemplate or do work in the community?

 

[YoungTradCath]

I think maybe they are too caught up with finding obscure points of canon law (or not). Kind of brings up that old saw about missing the forest for the trees! I found legelism of the Church of the 50’s off-putting and am finding the same issue with some of the trads who post on here. What is most distressing is that this somehow gets in the way of my worship of God in a way that seems natural and right to me. What next - being a lay woman I should not meditate, contemplate or do work in the community?

I find the lack of a trace of legalism quite scary. I would be very refreshed to see it come back, at least in part. In a perfect world we would not need laws to reinforce our faith. But we are not perfect nor do we live in a perfect world.

 

[TrueLight]

on occasion…but not at you during Mass

This is true. In fact sometimes one won’t even get a nod.

 

[Hmgbrd]

First of all I would like to thank TrueLight for her sense of humor and attempt to “lighten up” the discussion and bring everyone back to balance.
YoungTradCath I agree with you on many points. Our worship should never feel like a public display for others but always be focused on our Lord. While I was reading this thread the parable of the Publican and the Pharisee came to mind. The one, obsessed by his own virtue, is contrasted with a tax collector who humbly asks God for mercy. IMHO this discussion keeps coming down to one of tolerance. We are a universal Church. Some things that we feel as being “organic” in the USA might not feel so elsewhere in the world. Just my thoughts

 

[Ohana]

I find the lack of a trace of legalism quite scary. I would be very refreshed to see it come back, at least in part. In a perfect world we would not need laws to reinforce our faith. But we are not perfect nor do we live in a perfect world.

I forget how new you are to Catholicism. Thinking back, when I was a young professional, I carried the “rule book” in my hip pocket (so to speak). - in my purse might be more accurate. When one becomes more accustomed and confident, there is less need to check the rules every whipstitch. Good luck with that.

 

[Bob_Aliano]

You might read through this:

wdtprs.com/blog/2011/11/d-covington-bp-foys-issues-liturgical-decrees-no-joy-for-hand-holders/

 

[Irish_Polock]

I forget how new you are to Catholicism. Thinking back, when I was a young professional, I carried the “rule book” in my hip pocket (so to speak). - in my purse might be more accurate. When one becomes more accustomed and confident, there is less need to check the rules every whipstitch. Good luck with that.

It is absurd to imply to someone, that the longer they are Catholic the less they will care about what goes on in the liturgy. Time and knowledge normally do not produce apathy. Although, there can be exceptions to the rule, as in your case.

 

[Bendix]

I know this is a separate issue, but is smiling quasi-liberal, too? Is all human contact, even outside of mass? I respect your right to view this as you want, but I just wonder sometimes whether traditional Catholics take stoicism to an unprecedented and frightening level.

Yes, I agree. I visited a local EF Mass and I was turned-off by the artificially severe looks on everyone’s faces. There is a certain good-feeling that comes to some who act in that manner. A false sense of piety, almost a misdirected sense of superiority. To be quite direct, I don’t want to be around such people.

 

[Bendix]

This is so ridiculous why not hold hands. We are of flesh. We feel comfort with flesh. We feel God with touch. Is nothing wrong… Is a natural progression.

I agree in the sense that I should not even notice if people hold hands (or assume the orans) during the Mass. If I do I can easily develop the self-control to close my eyes or look down. Even if someone did try to grab my hand (it’s never happened) I’m an adult and I could simply say “no, I’m sorry” and that would be that.

What I detest are those who loudly blurt-out verbally during the Mass. The loud and rude individual who is one word ahead of everyone else when it comes to the responses. The attention seeker who loudly adds words to the Lord’s Prayer. The loudmouth who does his St. Joseph ejaculatory prayer at the same point in every Mass. Those are the ones I struggle with because I cannot simply close my eyes or look down.

 

[Bendix]

I think maybe they are too caught up with finding obscure points of canon law (or not). Kind of brings up that old saw about missing the forest for the trees! I found legelism of the Church of the 50’s off-putting and am finding the same issue with some of the trads who post on here. What is most distressing is that this somehow gets in the way of my worship of God in a way that seems natural and right to me. What next - being a lay woman I should not meditate, contemplate or do work in the community?

I find your posting very refreshing. I think the legalism you speak of is often an extreme reaction to the liturgical abuses/irregularities that sometimes take place during a Mass. Oddly enough it seems that the legalisms are really nothing more than personal preferences and sometimes abuses/irregularities themselves. I dislike all of them.

 

[MartyrForJesus]

It is absurd to imply to someone, that the longer they are Catholic the less they will care about what goes on in the liturgy. Time and knowledge normally do not produce apathy. Although, there can be exceptions to the rule, as in your case.

That’s not really what he was saying. He was saying that when you are a new Catholic you carry around the rule book, but after many years you don’t really need to anymore, because you know everything.

 

[JW55]

It appears that unfortunately, hand holding during the OF has become a “new tradition”. It has been done for long enough now that many American Catholics don’t remember not doing it. I personally don’t agree withthe hand holding, and I don’t do it. I don’t feel it should be present in our worship.

It might be helpful if a priest actually discussed with his parish what the rubrics of the church are and educate people as to the proper protocol of Mass. I see not only a “looseness” in thie area of handholding but many other liberties that are taken by people during the Mass. Many Catholics go through the motions and really have no idea why they do what they do.

As a side note, while in Europe, I saw no one hold hands during the OF, so possibly this is just an American thing. If anyone has any contrary observation on this, please chime in.

 

[YoungTradCath]

It appears that unfortunately, hand holding during the OF has become a “new tradition”. It has been done for long enough now that many American Catholics don’t remember not doing it. I personally don’t agree withthe hand holding, and I don’t do it. I don’t feel it should be present in our worship.

It might be helpful if a priest actually discussed with his parish what the rubrics of the church are and educate people as to the proper protocol of Mass. I see not only a “looseness” in thie area of handholding but many other liberties that are taken by people during the Mass. Many Catholics go through the motions and really have no idea why they do what they do.

As a side note, while in Europe, I saw no one hold hands during the OF, so possibly this is just an American thing. If anyone has any contrary observation on this, please chime in.

It is just an American thing.

 

[heavy_hand_1]

I generally attend an OF mass. I recently moved to this parish and was caught off guard when they didn’t hold hands for the Our Father. But, hey no biggie to me. Then one day I was chatting with our pastor and asked about it. He informed me that hand holding and hand raising have never been a part of the posture for the laity in the mass. We are to pray with hands clasped and no holding hands with neighbors.

 

[Miriam1947]

What has always bothered me about hand holding during the Our Father is that I don’t get the impression that very many Catholics who practice this have a clue as to why they are doing it. They do it because they see others do it. I believe many folks feel it is part of the rite, which it is not. I recently attended a talk on the new translation of the Mass, and during the Q &A period someone asked if it was true that with this new translation holding hands at this time would no longer be a part of the Mass. When the speaker replied “It never was”, people were incredulous. They assumed it was a requirement.

Personally, I find it distracting, especially when the person next to me is pawing it my hand when I am trying to focus. I have never been given a good reason as to why I should hold hands then, so I think I’ll wait until I have one before I start the practice.

This. Makes me crazy and I refuse to do it. You pray the way you want to and I’ll pray the way I want to. Works great!

 

[Miriam1947]

I do not at the time have anyone to hold hands with, but if I did, I would. I believe my God would smile upon it. I am shocked such a discussion even exists. The God I believe in is ALL loving, therefore, my hand holding of one I love would make my God smile. Shaking my head in confusion.

But do you grab the hand of the stranger next to you in the pew during the Our Father?

If you want to hold a loved one’s hand during the Our Father, go for it but, it really bothers me when someone tries to grab my hand and it is obvious that I don’t pray that way.