Hand Holding

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Fauken

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What is the difference in implications between holding someone’s hand with your fingers laced together with theirs and not lacing fingers? Most girls would say that the laced grip suggests intimate feelings between the two, but some guys say it’s just a comfortable way to hold hands when trying to keep track of someone in a sea of people. While I can see the merits on both sides of the argument, I’m interested in hearing your opinions on it, particularly from the guys. Would you hold your lady/guy friend’s hand with your fingers laced? Or would this be with someone you’re interested in? I am really confused with this, so thank you for your comments ahead of time!
 
I’d always hold hands with fingers laced only after doing it the other way first for a while. It’s way more intimate. It’s got a way of saying, “Hey, we’re not just friends in this. This isn’t a casual thing anymore. We’re united here.”

So yeah. That’s my take on it.
 
I suppose my second question would be if you would hold a platonic friend’s hand for longer than thirty seconds or in a situation where you are not trying to keep track of him/her. Thank you again!
 
Trident_H said:
I’d always hold hands with fingers laced only after doing it the other way first for a while. It’s way more intimate. It’s got a way of saying, “Hey, we’re not just friends in this. This isn’t a casual thing anymore. We’re united here.”

So yeah. That’s my take on it.
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I’m curious, how long is a while? A month?
 
Fauken said:
I’m curious, how long is a while? A month?
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You know. A while was more of a feeling than a time limit. I mean if I was seeing this girl every day then a month is like 30 conversations. So by 30 really good and deep conversations I think yeah. I think you’d be holding hands in a different way by then. Probably by 2 weeks in actually. That is 2 weeks after you started holding hands the other way first. But if I was only going out once a week. Well then it’s moving into 2 months. But like I said. It really depends on your level of connectedness. There’s no rule on this. It’s a comfort zone thing.
 
Fauken said:
I suppose my second question would be if you would hold a platonic friend’s hand for longer than thirty seconds or in a situation where you are not trying to keep track of him/her. Thank you again!
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umm…why would you hold a platonic friends hand? And is this a member of the opposite sex? The only time I would hold a guys hand if he was not my bf would be in an emergency where I can’t be separated from him.

Also, call me naïve but I never knew fingers laced vs fingers not laced had a significance worth noting
 
Anglewannabe said:
umm…why would you hold a platonic friends hand? And is this a member of the opposite sex? The only time I would hold a guys hand if he was not my bf would be in an emergency where I can’t be separated from him.
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Yeah. That was a strange question.
Anglewannabe said:
Also, call me naïve but I never knew fingers laced vs fingers not laced had a significance worth noting
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Well I guess this is me calling you naive. Because it does. 😛
 
Anglewannabe said:
umm…why would you hold a platonic friends hand? And is this a member of the opposite sex? The only time I would hold a guys hand if he was not my bf would be in an emergency where I can’t be separated from him.

Also, call me naïve but I never knew fingers laced vs fingers not laced had a significance worth noting
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It is a member of the opposite sex, and the reason I’m asking is because a guy claimed that it meant nothing, which I also found strange, but I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. My friends had mixed opinions on the matter, so I was wondering if there was a difference of opinion about this by gender or not, along with if people were even aware of there being a difference.
 
Fauken said:
It is a member of the opposite sex, and the reason I’m asking is because a guy claimed that it meant nothing, which I also found strange, but I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. My friends had mixed opinions on the matter, so I was wondering if there was a difference of opinion about this by gender or not, along with if people were even aware of there being a difference.
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If a guy held your hand for more than 30 seconds and now is telling you it meant nothing, he obviously made a move that went nowhere that he regrets and he is trying to save face. Honestly, this guy sounds immature
 
Fauken said:
What is the difference in implications between holding someone’s hand with your fingers laced together with theirs and not lacing fingers? Most girls would say that the laced grip suggests intimate feelings between the two, but some guys say it’s just a comfortable way to hold hands when trying to keep track of someone in a sea of people. While I can see the merits on both sides of the argument, I’m interested in hearing your opinions on it, particularly from the guys. Would you hold your lady/guy friend’s hand with your fingers laced? Or would this be with someone you’re interested in? I am really confused with this, so thank you for your comments ahead of time!
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It depends. Is it a contest of strength where you have to twist the person’s wrist downward to establish dominance?
 
Boys need to take a class in 8th grade that warns them of the extraordinary meaning that future romantic interests might some day attach to their most insignificant actions. Actually, considering the saga of Charlie Brown and the little red-haired girl, make that a unit in 8th grade health class for all students…sex education, human psychology, doesn’t matter which one.

The practical meaning in interlacing fingers is that it takes a certain level of trust to hold hands with the certainty that you aren’t going to need to get away with the immediacy of withdrawing your hand from a hot cast-iron skillet. That is all it means, though: the person holding your hand that way does not foresee a need to get away on short notice. Make of that what you will, no one can stop you. :rolleyes:
 
Fauken said:
It is a member of the opposite sex, and the reason I’m asking is because a guy claimed that it meant nothing, which I also found strange, but I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. My friends had mixed opinions on the matter, so I was wondering if there was a difference of opinion about this by gender or not, along with if people were even aware of there being a difference.
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OK–Rule One: In all your future relationships, if he says it means nothing, act as if it means nothing. I don’t care what it is. The point is to let him know that you’re going to take him at his literal word. Once you have established that, then after that when he says, “nothing,” you say, “nothing? literally nothing? Oooh-Kaaaay, if that is what you mean…” If he doesn’t catch himself and issue an amendment, let him live with it. Life is too short for these stupid “I said X, but of course I really meant Y” modes of “communication” between romantic partners. It won’t get better when you marry, so nip that in the bud. Nix this running things past your girlfriends to see what your boyfriend (and later your husband) means by what he says and does. Communicate with him. Do not have a little cult of divination running behind his back setting up invisible flaming hoops that he is magically supposed to know to jump through.

Make that rule for yourself–I say what I mean, I mean what I say, and everyone who knows me knows to do the same–and hold yourself to it. You will not regret it.
 
EasterJoy said:
OK–Rule One: In all your future relationships, if he says it means nothing, act as if it means nothing. I don’t care what it is. The point is to let him know that you’re going to take him at his literal word. Once you have established that, then after that when he says, “nothing,” you say, “nothing? literally nothing? Oooh-Kaaaay, if that is what you mean…” If he doesn’t catch himself and issue an amendment, let him live with it. Life is too short for these stupid “I said X, but of course I really meant Y” modes of “communication” between romantic partners. It won’t get better when you marry, so nip that in the bud. Nix this running things past your girlfriends to see what your boyfriend (and later your husband) means by what he says and does. Communicate with him. Do not have a little cult of divination running behind his back setting up invisible flaming hoops that he is magically supposed to know to jump through.

Make that rule for yourself–I say what I mean, I mean what I say, and everyone who knows me knows to do the same–and hold yourself to it. You will not regret it.
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Well said. That’s good advice. I am trying to take him at his word, and I’m glad I didn’t question him when he said that. I don’t plan to do so in the future. I am unfortunately paranoid, but I recognize that I am, and I am really trying to just stamp the urge to question and doubt him, but it still gets to me. In a way, it’s easy to doubt and be skeptical.
 
Trident_H said:
Well I guess this is me calling you naive. Because it does. 😛
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Well, then enlighten me. What is the significance of

Just holing someone’s index finger

Linking pinky fingers

and my favourite, when a woman just grabs the man’s sleeve near his wrist?
 
If I’m holding a “platonic friend’s” hand, we’re probably square dancing. Laced fingers are inappropriate in square dancing because you have to release quickly. I can’t think of any other reason for me to hold a grown man’s hand other than my husband or father’s.
 
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