Hand on head for absolution [edited]

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I went to Confession a couple of weeks ago and as my priest granted absolution he laid his hands on my head. He is my regular confessor and has never done this before. I really liked it - the physical contact makes the feeling of peace MUCH stronger. I heard from my dad today that laying on of hands during confession is part of the rubric. So why hasn’t my priest ever put a hand on my shoulder or head before? Is it because I’m a young woman? I have found that even close friends are hesitant to touch me or give me a hug even though I like this sort of interaction so I think I must somehow say ‘don’t touch me’ in body language - perhaps that is why.

Any similar experiences?
 
Well Mell,

Considering that you are a young woman, and this is a “new” thing with someone you are familliar with, I suggest you ask him about it in a non formal way after Mass sometime.

No one can read his mind on this one, so go to the source.

Assume the best, but prepare for the worst.

Best to you Mell!
 
There are priests who lay on hands though it’s not common. It does have a biblical basis, and the intention is for healing, in this case, of the spirit. It’s courageaous or even unwise of the priest to do so in modern times. Respectfully suggest that to your priest that you find it confusing and that others perhaps might, but I think the priest meant well, not harm.
I tend to believe he is trying to make more of a difference by following the scriptural healing ‘laying of hands’ only unfortunately for his good intentions he is probably in the wrong couple of centuries. Priests with a leaning towards charismatic charisms are more inclined to do this. I have known priests who did this but I have been well aware of their honest intention. Most priests would be too scared to death of the laying of hands even if they thought it might be beneficial.
 
Okay, help me out here. Is there a priest here that can offer his opinion on this?

The reason I ask, is there must be some basis to suddenly change an established pattern in a sacred ritual with a person they know well.

This sounds like a question for a priest to answer, or ask the apologist.

Seriously. Taking opinions from anyone, especially me on this is not going to help you at all. Even a devout catholic with good intentions can not answer this one as well as a priest would.

Trust me, I have had spirited conversations with a priest and that is my advice, take it or leave it. We are talking about a (no pun intended) touchy topic here. And, this priest has not even had a chance to explain himself yet.
 
*Dear Mel,
I really don’t see this as a problem. This may be something new that he is doing for all that go to him in Confession. Maybe not. My priest has done the same to me, and I feel good about it. I feel he really wants me to know that my sins have been forgiven. I did not feel funny about this at all, but maybe I am wrong.
To me, it is not the same thing as " laying of hands" because that involves the intercession of the " Holy Spirit “. It just does not feel the same. I have gone down before when it came to " laying of hands”.
I do not think during Confession my Parish Priest was trying to do any " laying of hands", I think he was just being receptive of me.
I do agree if you are concerned, you might go to your Priest and asking him about it.
Best wishes and God Bless,
Angel Face
*
 
Make use of the confessonal box if possible. There is no need or reason to do what he did even though you welcomed it. Also, as they see many people if an open face to face confessional be wary of illness and flu. He should not be rubbing anyone’s head. jmo.
 
Never had a priest do that. I had our Bishop slap me on my cheek at Confirmation. Now, some of my male classmates had their ear pulled and head slammed up against the hallway wall or the blackboard by our teaching nuns, Sisters of Saint Joseph, early 1960’s. They stopped just short of drawing blood. As for me just a ruler slapped on my nuckles now and then. My plastic surgery is hardly noticable according to my classmates. Some say they were trained by the Nazis back then. Who knows? I was just a kid, one of 83 kids in one classroom and taught by one nun in 1st grade. We graduated 52 kids. 7 nuns, 1 lay teacher and one principal Mother Superior. I could write a book on those 8 years!!
 
Can’t say why your confessor changed the way he did it, but I can tell you that my own confessor places his hands on my head during absolution. Having that sensory experience is a beautiful thing to me…that’s one of the reasons I don’t go behind the screen. 🙂
 
kristie_m said:
Can’t say why your confessor changed the way he did it, but I can tell you that my own confessor places his hands on my head during absolution. Having that sensory experience is a beautiful thing to me…that’s one of the reasons I don’t go behind the screen. 🙂
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Finally someone who wasn’t freaked out about this. My dad said it was part of the rubric and I wondered why my priest (or any previous priests) had never done it.

Really people it didn’t make me the least bit uncomfortable. It was a wonderful thing. I have never really felt much peace from confession even though I knew my sins were forgiven. Just the simple hand placed on my head helped me to experience that peace God intended. I don’t think my priest is a creep or anything. I didn’t think of it as his hand because it wasn’t IT WAS JESUS’ HAND.

[edited] Boy we are a paranoid society :rolleyes:.

Thank you all for your concern. I guess priests just can’t get away with showing Jesus in any manner that involves touching. 🤷
 
FWIW, in the Byzantine tradition, the priest places the stole first on the penitent’s head, and then his hand over that.

When a bishop is ordaining, he follows a similar procedure with his omophorion (pallium).
 
I’ve twice in recent months had priests, to whom I’ve gone to have rosaries blessed, lay hands on my head as well and give me a blessing.

Completely unexpected, never happened to me before, but absolutely lovely, and I can’t see most people having any good reason to get freaked out about having their head touched. NAC, it’s no more likely to spread disease than shaking your hand or placing the Host on your tongue after all, and most priests do plenty of both.

Mel, it’s not necessarily anything to do with you having offputting body language or anything. I just think in this day and age when priests and laypeople alike are more aware than ever of the realities of sexual harassment and sexual abuse, many of us have become somewhat over-restrained when it comes to physical touch at times.
 
The laying on of hands during absolution IS part of the rite of Penance. However, most priests do not do it but substitute placing their hands over the person in a blessing positiom. If you go behing the screen there is no way they can lay their hand on your head. My confessor used to do it but since the scandals he stopped. It can be a very healing touch, as it is a sacrament of healing and is also done in the Sacrament of the Sick, but that is usually done in a public forum or at least with a few others around. Many priests are afraid of someone claiming they touched a person inappropriatly.
 
I wouldn’t give it a second thought. I have had priests do this many times during Confession. Confession IS a healing Sacrament, after all. And most of the Sacraments involve touch, for example Baptism, Confirmation, Anointing of the Sick, Holy Orders.
 
Can someone please explain to me why this would be considered wrong. I just don’t see what the problem is.
 
Mel_Stones said:
. . . in a good way :D.

Now that I have your attention.

I went to Confession a couple of weeks ago and as my priest granted absolution he laid his hands on my head. He is my regular confessor and has never done this before. I really liked it - the physical contact makes the feeling of peace MUCH stronger. I heard from my dad today that laying on of hands during confession is part of the rubric. So why hasn’t my priest ever put a hand on my shoulder or head before? Is it because I’m a young woman? I have found that even close friends are hesitant to touch me or give me a hug even though I like this sort of interaction so I think I must somehow say ‘don’t touch me’ in body language - perhaps that is why.

Any similar experiences?
Click to expand...
Nowadays men think twice before going within a million miles of physical contact. Especially when children are involved.
 
NewAgeCatholic said:
Make use of the confessonal box if possible. **There is no need or reason to do what he did even though you welcomed it. ** Also, as they see many people if an open face to face confessional be wary of illness and flu. He should not be rubbing anyone’s head. jmo.
Click to expand...
Rule Number One: No touching.
 
If anyone is curious as to why priests don’t physical lay their hands on people’s heads during absolution should just consider [edited]. In this day and age I’d be wary of touching anyone that I do now know very well beyond a handshake.
[edited]
 
I don’t understand why touch has become so scandalous. There is absolutely no reason to assume touch is a bad thing. I admit I didn’t expect such a response. I honestly thought most people had sense and didn’t freak out over simple expressions of CHRIST’S love.

Why do we hold our priests to such high standards of living as a representative of Christ in areas such as dress and speech and yet do not allow them to fully represent Christ in the area of love through touch?

For example, we would be outraged if we heard our priest say ‘God dammit’ because we see it as Christ’s representative cursing. Yet we freak out when our priest as Christ representative lays a hand on our head. (I’m generalizing with the term ‘we’ to mean American society - I don’t actually hold these views). Why don’t we hold our priests to a standard as Christ’s representative in all areas?
 
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