CHCatholic,
Thank you for your earnest post – you reminded me to pray for some people I know who are feeling lost, as you are – and I pray for you. We all go through this, sometimes a zillion times in our lives. It can be hard for us to find joy when life is hard, and it can become easy to cave in to discouragement, and to stop working on our relationship with God and to love others. But these are the times it’s most important to keep praying, to keep hoping, and to keep looking for the good. I suggest you continue to make prayer routine during every day – use prescribed prayers when you have difficulty praying spontaneously. I suggest you begin each prayer with gratitude – "thank you, God, for (…various people, beauty, lessons in wisdom, your strengths, etc.).
Think of how our forebears in faith, the ancient Israelites, felt, when they were exiled for 70 years from their own land by their conquerors the Babylonians, several hundred years before Christ came. Many of their own people were abandoning the faith, and intermarrying with the pagans. It was a hard life - yet they were still being called to be faithful. Think of how the Israelites felt hundreds of years before that, when they journeyed for forty years in the desert from enslavement in Egypt to the promised land, Canaan. Again, they were called to be faithful during their hardships – and there are examples in scripture when they managed to celebrate – to give joyful thanks and praise to God – in spite of their hardships.
God told his people through the prophet Jeremiah "For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord; plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope. When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you, says the Lord, and I will change your lot … " (Jeremiah 29:11-14).
St. Paul has told us to rejoice in the Lord always – that he IS near – to keep praying and looking for the good, and to continue doing what we’ve learned in faith – in order to know God’s peace (see his letter to the Philippians, 4:4-9).
Pray for your friends, and be a good model for them – but avoid the activities with them which lead you to darkness.
Pope Benedict has recently given us an encyclical about hope (Spe Salvi) – he reminds us that we can’t avoid difficulty and suffering in this life, but that with prayer we will strengthen our inner hope, and we will continue to transform our hearts and be more responsive to others in their need. Only through Christ will you endure your school and work and find hope and joy.
Our Creator has given us much good, through people, and things (like chocolate and rainbows) and he wants us to take joy in them – but genuine joy only comes when we’re connected to God and yearning to be faithful to him. Receive Reconciliation and the Eucharist often, CHCatholic, keep praying, and don’t forget to GIVE to others when you can through parish or community ministries or just when you can. You might make friendships with other people who are intently working on their faith journeys that way. Be a light of our Lord’s love to others! Joy is a fruit of the Spirit – I keep learning (over and over again) that I can’t demand this gift – but God gives me this fruit when I give from my heart in his name.