Hard Time Getting Involved in a Parish

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I recently moved to live with my parents, who live in a very different region of the country, and I’m just having a hard time getting “plugged in” at any parish here. There was a Bible study being led by a priest that I was looking forward to going to, that priest has since gone to the hospital (about 3 weeks ago), its not life threatening I don’t think, but he is out of commission.

I haven’t found any pro-life groups up here, despite one parish printing a Prayer for Life in their bulletin every week. They have a “Respect Life Meeting” in “Meeting Room 1” later this month… but that sounds like its some kind of committee meeting with board members, and not an open group. Same thing with Legion of Mary. I’ve never been to anything about Legion of Mary, but I’ve thought about going, but idk if it would be similar to that… a group where you have to be a member, and not just open for someone to go to.

It doesn’t help that I’m college aged (22), and there doesn’t seem to be anything for people in my age group. I looked into going to a Life Teen Mass, but the keyword there is apparently TEEN, as they have an age limit, and is supposed to be mainly for high school kids.

Does anyone have any advice?

Yes, I have been going to Mass at several different parishes near where my parents live.
I don’t know where anything is, and everything I’d like to go to is either at a time I can’t go, or else it sounds like if I went, that I would be “crashing” it, and would be quite out of place.

I used to be involved in a Bible study, and in a pro-life group at my last parish. There just doesn’t seem like anything that’s cut out for me here. I’ve been living with my parents for about 2 months, and I have yet to meet anyone at their Church, or any other one. And my chances are looking slimmer and slimmer that I’ll ever be involved in a parish while I’m here.

When I was at college, it took me roughly 6 months to get heavily involved in my parish there. It took me that long to get to know people, and finally to start going to things. I don’t know if that will ever happen while I’m here. I’m only planning to be living with my parents until sometime this summer.

I can’t even find a chapel with perpetual adoration, I know they’re around here, but with descriptions like “in the basement of the rectory”, I’m left clueless… :confused: I used to adore at least once a month.

I put this here, because while I would appreciate prayers, I need advice. I have no reason to believe that in another 2 months here, I will be any more involved than I am now… and I’m still stuck at square 1 right now.
 
It is hard getting involved with a church when you’re new in the area. But church hopping doesn’t help. As your parents priest about adoration and other stuff to get you started. If your parents church doesn’t have it, then he may be able to find out who does. That would, hopefully get you started. Also, go to a church for several weeks, sitting in the same place each time. You’ll find others who also like sitting in a certain place each week. You can meet a few people that way. As far as the teen program, maybe you can help be a part of that. Find out what kind of stuff they need done, and see if you can help that way. And most of all, keep trying. 👍
 
RC_Sojourner said:
They have a “Respect Life Meeting” in “Meeting Room 1” later this month… but that sounds like its some kind of committee meeting with board members, and not an open group.

Does anyone have any advice?
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Christy Beth is giving good advice. Church hopping isn’t good for you.

The Respect Life committee at my parish just had a meeting. The committee is all the volunteers, 40 of us. (Although, due to the extreme cold -18, only 5 of us showed up, plus the 2 chairpersons.) We went over our plan of activities for this year—40 Days for Life, National Day of Remembrance, our Memorial Wall for Aborted and Miscarried Babies, etc.

You’re not crashing. We are always extremely grateful for new volunteers! I hear this from all the parishes in my area.

You could call or stop by the Parish office, ask for some more information. The Parish receptionist/secretary is a wonderful resource for information. If nothing else, give your phone number, then the committee chairperson can call you, and answer any questions you have.
 
Rather than looking for established groups, teen groups, prayer groups and the like try something like Eucharistic Minister or Lector. Can you sing? Look into a choir.

You are older now, and maybe your involvement needs to be different. Besides, if you are going to be there for a while, maybe you can start a group of your own, that focuses on serving the community. Is there a community garden in the area? Can you help in RCIA or teaching the youngsters about their faith? Do any children in the community need a tutor for math or science, or some other academic subject that you could set up and get started for them?

Think outside the box. Be the leader and start something of your own. Others may very well follow.
 
Oh dear! Sounds like a hard time, but you will get through it.

The Legion of Mary is an EXCELLENT choice. You won’t regret going there. DO IT! It is perfect for you. You’ll grown in knowledge of both Jesus and Mary and will be part of their little community in a community. I wish the new parish where I live had a chapter. Here’s the website: legionofmary.ie/

Try exploring the different parish resources you find on the Internet. Sometimes everything a parish offers in the way of organizations or prayer groups or Bible studies isn’t listed tin the bulletins. Look for stuff there and keep trying. When you visit other parishes make sure you get the bulletins there too. Most important: Keep trying. You** will** find that special place you belong if you just keep looking. Don’t give into despair and temptation to pass on stuff. Pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance and light. He will deliver but ya gotta ask!

Glenda
 
I would like to offer some different advice.

First, I agree with the posters who say that parish hopping is probably not a best choice for you. Maybe, consistency is what you need right now. This is how you meet people, not flitting from place to place.

You mention that you will only be in this place until the summer. Perhaps this is the time for you not to be a joiner but let the Lord speak to you. Sometimes the Lord wants us to be renewed and that means to just “be” not “do.”

Just something to think about
 
First off, thanks for all the encouragement and such everybody. I don’t want to give away my location or anything. But, in the past month, one additional difficulty has been snow. Some things I couldn’t even try to go to bc of snow, and they were likely cancelled anyways.

Yeah, I know I shouldn’t Church hop… but they all seem to offer different things. Only one has a pro-life group (which, I guess I’ll at least ask the receptionist if I’m welcome to go to… their meeting is in 2 weeks). Only one has perpetual adoration (which again, I have no idea where). And then the other one is now the only one with a Bible study, seeing as the one priest is in the hospital.
coachdennis said:
I would like to offer some different advice.

First, I agree with the posters who say that parish hopping is probably not a best choice for you. Maybe, consistency is what you need right now. This is how you meet people, not flitting from place to place.

You mention that you will only be in this place until the summer. Perhaps this is the time for you not to be a joiner but let the Lord speak to you. Sometimes the Lord wants us to be renewed and that means to just “be” not "do."

Just something to think about
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Well, perhaps you’re right. But, I’m not that good at doing that. I mean, that might’ve been my thinking coming up here. But, by now, I’m really lonely and I’ve lost a lot of enthusiasm that I had for “finding myself” or getting away and spending time in prayer/ meditation.

Idk, I normally am a very reflective person, but now, I just miss all my friends that I left behind. And, I’m alone up here except for my family.

I’m just having a terrible time spiritually. I love Mass, but my family insists on leaving so we get there right when it starts. I used to could go sometimes an hour before Mass started, and I’d just pray. And, I’d always be there at least 25 or 30 minutes before it started. Literally, one time, my parents had time to pray for like 30 seconds before the priest began Mass (not even probably).

What am I supposed to do, not go to Mass with my family? Because, that’s what I’ve done 2 or 3 times since I’ve been up here, and that’s why I Church hopped largely.

I’ve just been having a terrible time up here spiritually, even though I go to confession every week or two. Idk, I’m basically doing the bare minimum right now, and I used to do WAYYY more than the bare minimum, and its terrible.
 
Hello again RC.

If going with the family to Mass is part of the trouble and your not getting all your needs met when you attend with them, why not just go twice? Once with them and to another where you are happy and get all the time with the Lord you need? It is nice to go with your family but if they aren’t as intense as you right now in their worship and you need more time then by all means go more than once. It is allowed ya know to go to more than once on a Sunday. Might even make your heart sing a little. Or try going to the Vigil the night before by yourself. That might help.

Good luck and God bless you.

Glenda

P.S. I also agree - it may be time to just sit in a pew and be instead of worrying about doing. You might even catch Him gazing at you and be surprised.
 
If you don’t know where a parish is having adoration call and ask the secretary for info. A good way to get to know a few people is to go to daily Mass and in a short time you can ask the people there about what’s going on in the parish. Also.some churches are open during the day for prayer. Again the parish Secretary can be a good resource. And pray that God will lead you to what you need.
 
RC_Sojourner said:
First off, thanks for all the encouragement and such everybody. I don’t want to give away my location or anything. But, in the past month, one additional difficulty has been snow. Some things I couldn’t even try to go to bc of snow, and they were likely cancelled anyways.

Yeah, I know I shouldn’t Church hop… but they all seem to offer different things. Only one has a pro-life group (which, I guess I’ll at least ask the receptionist if I’m welcome to go to… their meeting is in 2 weeks). Only one has perpetual adoration (which again, I have no idea where). And then the other one is now the only one with a Bible study, seeing as the one priest is in the hospital.

Well, perhaps you’re right. But, I’m not that good at doing that. I mean, that might’ve been my thinking coming up here. But, by now, I’m really lonely and I’ve lost a lot of enthusiasm that I had for “finding myself” or getting away and spending time in prayer/ meditation.

Idk, I normally am a very reflective person, but now, I just miss all my friends that I left behind. And, I’m alone up here except for my family.

I’m just having a terrible time spiritually. I love Mass, but my family insists on leaving so we get there right when it starts. I used to could go sometimes an hour before Mass started, and I’d just pray. And, I’d always be there at least 25 or 30 minutes before it started. Literally, one time, my parents had time to pray for like 30 seconds before the priest began Mass (not even probably).

What am I supposed to do, not go to Mass with my family? Because, that’s what I’ve done 2 or 3 times since I’ve been up here, and that’s why I Church hopped largely.

I’ve just been having a terrible time up here spiritually, even though I go to confession every week or two. Idk, I’m basically doing the bare minimum right now, and I used to do WAYYY more than the bare minimum, and its terrible.
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RC Sojourner,

You are not going to change your parents except by example… and even then

God has thrown a challenge to the way you normally go to church, participate in church, and be a member of church. Perhaps rather than think of the fact that they are only there 30 seconds before Mass --but they are there! There are many people who would cry with joy if their family members were at Mass with them. Also, there are individuals who are trying to get children to Mass who have to get all the kids ready and can only get there just before Mass starts. Or elderly people who depend on rides that only get them there just in the nick of time.

Perhaps this is the time to learn to be more understanding of other people and **their **involvement challenges.

The fact that this is something you are wrestling with says to me that THIS is what you need to address in your prayer.

Look at this quote: I’m basically doing the bare minimum right now, and I used to do WAYYY more than the bare minimum, and its terrible Who thinks it’s terrible? You? God? And why is it so important to you to do more the WAYYYY minimum?

Also, look at your quote: Idk, I normally am a very reflective person, but now, I just miss all my friends that I left behind. And, I’m alone up here except for my family.

Is that really the core?

For whatever reason God wants you there NOW, not with your friends, not running hither and yonder from doing one “good deed” to another, but with your parents away from friends.

What is God trying to teach you?
 
coachdennis said:
RC Sojourner,

You are not going to change your parents except by example… and even then

God has thrown a challenge to the way you normally go to church, participate in church, and be a member of church. Perhaps rather than think of the fact that they are only there 30 seconds before Mass --but they are there! There are many people who would cry with joy if their family members were at Mass with them. Also, there are individuals who are trying to get children to Mass who have to get all the kids ready and can only get there just before Mass starts. Or elderly people who depend on rides that only get them there just in the nick of time.

Perhaps this is the time to learn to be more understanding of other people and **their **involvement challenges.

The fact that this is something you are wrestling with says to me that THIS is what you need to address in your prayer.

Look at this quote: I’m basically doing the bare minimum right now, and I used to do WAYYY more than the bare minimum, and its terrible Who thinks it’s terrible? You? God? And why is it so important to you to do more the WAYYYY minimum?

Also, look at your quote: Idk, I normally am a very reflective person, but now, I just miss all my friends that I left behind. And, I’m alone up here except for my family.

Is that really the core?

For whatever reason God wants you there NOW, not with your friends, not running hither and yonder from doing one “good deed” to another, but with your parents away from friends.

What is God trying to teach you?
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  1. Well, I’m not in the business of judging other people for when they arrive at Mass. However, I will be asking my parents: “Hey, can we go to Mass now?” and they’ll say, “What! It doesn’t start for a whole 'nother 25 miinutes!” or “a whole 10 minutes from now!” Its only 5 minutes away!
So, there’s not really an excuse when it comes to my family, they simply see no point in arriving early. They view it no differently than you’d view an appointment at the Dentist… why arrive 25 minutes early, when you’re just going to wait in the waiting room?
  1. I don’t want to do the bare minimum. If someone used to go to daily Mass regularly, went to adoration at least once a month, and was very involved in Bible studies, and pro-life stuff. And, now all I do is fulfill my Sunday obligation and sometimes go to confession… by definition I am moving farther away from God. I don’t see what your point is, that I should just make the most of it?
    It is terrible. That’s just a fact. Doing the bare minimum is terrible for me, spiritually. It is spiritually terrible for me, and your answer is: just accept it. No. I won’t accept that.
  2. Does God want me here now? Is everything that happens necessarily always ordained by God? No. That is calvinism. I could very well be somewhere where God doesn’t want me to be, and wasting my time, while I’m missing an opportunity that He wanted me to do. But, that I’ve missed, due to my own fallibility through Free Will.
I’m sorry, but my spiritual life is terrible right now. That’s why I put this here, and not in prayer intentions. Because I clearly need to make a change. If I don’t, then in another month and a half I will have not spiritually grown at all.** I haven’t grown spiritually in the last month and a half. So, I made this thread out of frustration at that.**
 
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