Hard to concentrate at mass...is it just me?

[Mirror_Mirror]

My wife and I (and our 5 kids) are very traditional (if you will) in our Catholic beliefs. We have recently been diving into learning more about the mass, enjoy both the EF and the OF of the mass. The one thing that we always hold true to is that we like to see that mass is the same no matter what Catholic Church you attend (obvious different in LAtin vs. English spoken). We have recently moved and went for the first time to the Church that would be our parish and the following list are a few things that we experienced while there:

• The crucifix behind the alter was not present, it was Jesus raising his arms as if from the resurrection with rays of light behind him.
• The piano was up front and lead into more of a show than playing music to complement the Mass.
• Upon entering the Church many people were carrying on conversations as if it were the Church hall, there was even a person in front of me texting.
• This was a 6pm Mass so it seems that most people were just there to “fulfill their weekend obligation” and the simple reverence for the Mass was not there.
• There was no second reading, is that right or okay?
• The ladies that brought up the gifts were processing to the back of the Church and halfway back they were talking and the only lady laughed so hard that she had to cover her mouth to hold in the laughing.
• The priest giving handshakes and “fives” to kids as he processed out at the end of Mass.
• As we were leaving those same ladies (guessing they were ushers) were handing out bulletins and telling every (very loudly) “Thanks for coming, come and see us again.” “Thanks, we will see you next weekend.”

For myself and my wife it became very difficult for us to concentrate on the Mass and not focus out attention on the abuses going on during the Mass. It is just not as simple as closing our eyes to concentrate as we have the kiddos around. It is as if we get nothing out of Mass. We know that the Mass is still valid, the consecration is still valid, but we feel that we are not fully prepared ourselves to receive communion.

Anyone else experience this? If so, what have you done in these situations? It saddens me that this is going on and no one seems to think that it is “wrong.” I am pretty sure that we will drive the extra miles needed to go to a different Church and even go to the Latin Mass that is 20 miles away.

Just looking for others thoughts.

 

[Scoobyshme]

My wife and I (and our 5 kids) are very traditional (if you will) in our Catholic beliefs. We have recently been diving into learning more about the mass, enjoy both the EF and the OF of the mass. The one thing that we always hold true to is that we like to see that mass is the same no matter what Catholic Church you attend (obvious different in LAtin vs. English spoken). We have recently moved and went for the first time to the Church that would be our parish and the following list are a few things that we experienced while there:

• The crucifix behind the alter was not present, it was Jesus raising his arms as if from the resurrection with rays of light behind him.
• The piano was up front and lead into more of a show than playing music to complement the Mass.
• Upon entering the Church many people were carrying on conversations as if it were the Church hall, there was even a person in front of me texting.
• This was a 6pm Mass so it seems that most people were just there to “fulfill their weekend obligation” and the simple reverence for the Mass was not there.
• There was no second reading, is that right or okay?
• The ladies that brought up the gifts were processing to the back of the Church and halfway back they were talking and the only lady laughed so hard that she had to cover her mouth to hold in the laughing.
• The priest giving handshakes and “fives” to kids as he processed out at the end of Mass.
• As we were leaving those same ladies (guessing they were ushers) were handing out bulletins and telling every (very loudly) “Thanks for coming, come and see us again.” “Thanks, we will see you next weekend.”

For myself and my wife it became very difficult for us to concentrate on the Mass and not focus out attention on the abuses going on during the Mass. It is just not as simple as closing our eyes to concentrate as we have the kiddos around. It is as if we get nothing out of Mass. We know that the Mass is still valid, the consecration is still valid, but we feel that we are not fully prepared ourselves to receive communion.

Anyone else experience this? If so, what have you done in these situations? It saddens me that this is going on and no one seems to think that it is “wrong.” I am pretty sure that we will drive the extra miles needed to go to a different Church and even go to the Latin Mass that is 20 miles away.

Just looking for others thoughts.

These things happen because there is a lack of belief in the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, OR because certain people who do this think they’re equals to Jesus Christ. Those are the only two reasons I can think of, right offhand, as to why someone would act disrespectfully in church.

 

[Rascalking]

I think you need to loosen up on several of these things. A priest giving high fives to children and shaking hands? Is that really an issue? Ladies saying “We hope to see you again?” Are you serious?

Would you rather the priest glare at people and kick them? And would you rarther people, at the end of mass say “Get out of here and never come again!”

Also, you don’t know why people go to mass. To say they are just there to “fill their obligation” strikes of arrogance.

Your post is sort of depressing.

 

[CatholicZ09]

• The crucifix behind the alter was not present, it was Jesus raising his arms as if from the resurrection with rays of light behind him.

This is something that you’ll see in a lot of Catholic parishes. I’m not really fond of the idea myself because there’s no resurrection without a crucifixion, right?

• The piano was up front and lead into more of a show than playing music to complement the Mass.

Pianos for Mass are okay, but “leading into a show” is never okay. Some music directors think that it’s a good idea to get “creative”.

• Upon entering the Church many people were carrying on conversations as if it were the Church hall, there was even a person in front of me texting.

This is something that happens in my parish as well, but it’s moreso the ushers than the people themselves. It is really distracting especially when one is lost in prayer.

• This was a 6pm Mass so it seems that most people were just there to “fulfill their weekend obligation” and the simple reverence for the Mass was not there.

This could be the case. I’ve noticed this a lot with Saturday/Sunday evening Masses; however, some people could have the right intentions, but they don’t realize what they are doing contributes to disrespect.

• There was no second reading, is that right or okay?

Since this was a weekend Mass, then yes, there needs to be a second reading. I hope the intention of the person who cut it down wasn’t just to “save time” or that the reading was “pointless”. Cutting down on the Word of God is rather offensive.

• The ladies that brought up the gifts were processing to the back of the Church and halfway back they were talking and the only lady laughed so hard that she had to cover her mouth to hold in the laughing.

Was this going on while music was playing? Some people think that because music is being played, they can be loud. For most people, they can’t.

• The priest giving handshakes and “fives” to kids as he processed out at the end of Mass.

I don’t think that this was the appropriate time to acknowledge people. He could say goodbyes at the exit as people are leaving

• As we were leaving those same ladies (guessing they were ushers) were handing out bulletins and telling every (very loudly) “Thanks for coming, come and see us again.” “Thanks, we will see you next weekend.”

Again, while their intentions might have been good, this makes the Mass seem like some kind of show. You don’t tell people “Thanks for coming.” It’s Mass.

but we feel that we are not fully prepared ourselves to receive communion.

It’s not your fault for other people’s disrespect during Mass. You did nothing wrong.

Anyone else experience this?

Sadly, yes. Maybe talk to the pastor of the parish about it if that will do any good? Even if you don’t want to confront him yourself, you could send a letter or email of concern.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I think you need to loosen up on several of these things.

Really?

A priest giving high fives to children and shaking hands? Is that really an issue?

I think that if the priest would like to acknowledge those that are in Mass he can do it at the exit of the Church as he was doing. As he is processing from the altar is not something that is necessary at that point of the Mass. Mass is not a social hour.

Ladies saying “We hope to see you again?” Are you serious?

I am not sure if you saying this as if “am I serious that this bothers me” or if “am I serious that they are saying this” however, based on how the response is coming off I tend to think that it is the former. As such, Mass is not like going to a resturaunt where the hostess tells you thank you and come again. Really? This is okay? Basically saying it in a louder than normal voice was not necessary in my opinion.

Again, it comes back to what I said in the original email, Mass should not be different when you go to a different parish, it should be the same everywhere. The poeple that come there are a product of what is coming from the parish. If a parish embraces holding hands during the Our Father, it becomes the norm and not participating you are looked at as you are doing something wrong.

Would you rather the priest glare at people and kick them?

Sorry this is not applicable at all.

And would you rarther people, at the end of mass say “Get out of here and never come again!”

Nor is this, it is not a matter of what I would rather them say, it is a matter that this is a Catholic Mass, not a resturaunt. Telling each person as they walk out “thank you and come again” is not necessary.

Also, you don’t know why people go to mass. To say they are just there to “fill their obligation” strikes of arrogance.

Maybe it was presumptious, but don’t tell me that someone that is there with a cell phone texting someone and then when someone else comes in with a child, sits in front of them and they play with the child and hug the mother and father, during the gospel that they are there with the best of intentions. True I do not know why people are there and I do hope that God touches their heart to understand the true meaning of what the Mass is, a Holy Sacrifice. It happens to often and we wonder why there is a true lack of belief in the real presence.

Your post is sort of depressing.

The lack of respect for the Holy Mass is what is depressing.

 

[Rascalking]

You asked for “other thoughts”. I gave them to you. I clearly disagree with most of what you said.

Next time, ask for affirmation instead if you don’t want someone to disagree with you.

 

[leroy656]

I think you need to loosen up on several of these things. A priest giving high fives to children and shaking hands? Is that really an issue? Ladies saying “We hope to see you again?” Are you serious?

Would you rather the priest glare at people and kick them? And would you rarther people, at the end of mass say “Get out of here and never come again!”

Also, you don’t know why people go to mass. To say they are just there to “fill their obligation” strikes of arrogance.

Your post is sort of depressing.

Giving high fives and shaking hands or giving glares and kicking people, are these the only options the priest has. I can tell you I haven’t seen either of these actions before and I hope I never do. I don’t believe either of these actions are appropriate. I agree with you that the post is depressing not because of what the writer wrote but the actions in of those at mass. Look for another parish.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Since this was a weekend Mass, then yes, there needs to be a second reading. I hope the intention of the person who cut it down wasn’t just to “save time” or that the reading was “pointless”. Cutting down on the Word of God is rather offensive.

Agreed, I just did not know what the reason was. Mass did seem rushed as if it was to be over as soon as possible.

Was this going on while music was playing? Some people think that because music is being played, they can be loud. For most people, they can’t.

Yes as they were halfway down the isle and she started to laugh out loud. Very disrespectful.

I don’t think that this was the appropriate time to acknowledge people. He could say goodbyes at the exit as people are leaving

My point exactly

Again, while their intentions might have been good, this makes the Mass seem like some kind of show. You don’t tell people “Thanks for coming.” It’s Mass.

Could not have said it better myself.

It’s not your fault for other people’s disrespect during Mass. You did nothing wrong.

I guess it is not matter of doing something wrong, it is just that when my wife or I feel that we are not getting anything out of the mass, no matter how hard we try we should not be going to receive our Lord in communion. Maybe it is just us. I feel bad when I go to Mass and come out feeling as if I did not grow from it. I know that God’s grace is there and we receive that even if others do not feel the same way.

Sadly, yes. Maybe talk to the pastor of the parish about it if that will do any good? Even if you don’t want to confront him yourself, you could send a letter or email of concern.

Not sure as I do not think that we will be joining that parish.

 

[Rascalking]

Giving high fives and shaking hands or giving glares and kicking people, are these the only options the priest has. I can tell you I haven’t seen either of these actions before and I hope I never do. .

Oh for goodness sakes, I was clearly saying the “glare and kick” thing tongue in cheek!

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

You asked for “other thoughts”. I gave them to you. I clearly disagree with most of what you said.

Next time, ask for affirmation instead if you don’t want someone to disagree with you.

I simply replied to your “other thoughts” and I did not agree with them. I do not need affirmation from anyone about this. I am sorry if you took this the wrong way, but these are actions that impede others from truly celebrating the Mass. It is good to be able to call out things like this so that we, as Catholics, continue to have the Mass be what it is supposed to be and not a watered-down version where anything goes.

You are free to disagree, and I am free to say what I feel about that. If you are okay with these actions at Mass, that is fine for you, but for me and my family, the things mentioned are not okay and should not be going on at Mass.

 

[Dave2300]

I agree with Rascalking about all these issues

 

[Ben_F]

How I long for a Mass in the good ole USA. In my Church, dogs enter. Babies are changed. Drunks walk around and beg for money. Many talk loudly during the reading of the Gospel as well as the saying of the Eucaristic Prayer. Buses outside honk their horns. Do I get anything out of the Mass? Nothing less than the Body of God, as well as a reminder of how blessed I am, that My Lord gave me an education. If Jesus can say Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do. Who am I to judge. God bless:thumbsup:

 

[purplesunshine]

I’m a bit irratated by the response that a priest should NOT be able to thank people for comming. I am grateful whenever anyone sees the value of mass enough to come. It is a gift from God in the form of grace.

I also get mad at people who judge texting/screen phone use. I used it this sunday to look up the readings. Our misselettes don’t have the text and the microphone was so bad I didn’t understand a single word.

Besides that, I have a friend who has life threatening health conditions. The ONLY time my phone ever rang in mass was becuase her mom called to let me know she was going in for emergency major heart surgery and to put the phone to her ear so I could tell her I loved her and was praying for her. Afterward a parishoner chided me for running out with my cell and returning to mass. I wanted to punch him. HE was the rude one. My friend lived, but if she hadn’t I would of grieved that I missed her call and to let her know I was praying. And who knows…maybe my prayers before Jesus’ sacred heart let her heart be healed for the time being.

 

[cradlecatholic5]

I agree with Rascalking & Dave2300 about all these issues.

 

[marlap2]

I serve at a 7pm Mass on Sunday. I’ve noticed in my five years of serving, that there are a consistent number of people who are at that Mass. I’m assuming they have work/family/responsibilities that keep them away till that time. I serve at that Mass because that is the Mass that I’m needed. My heart would lead me to the earliest Mass at 8am. I have noticed those people that you are talking about, the “last chancers”… I praise God for them, as at least they are making it to a Mass.
There are some really holy people at every Mass, and yes, in some ways they stick out… praying all the time, kneeling before the Blessed Sacrament. One actually is on his knees all the way up to receive Jesus. There are some ladies with their head-scarves and rosaries, etc.
This is what I’ve noticed in the last 14 years of going there. It used to be a lot less reverent. People holding hands during the our Father. Walking all over the place hugging people, and kids running around during the homily. I think in a quiet, reverent way, the holy people have shepherded the irreverent people, because things have changed over time. So pray for them, and be reverent, and be loving. You never know what God will do with your prayers.
As far as laughing that is irreverent… That always give chills to me, ever since a person in a “deliverance ministry” told me that the “church giggles” is actually a spirit of mockery, who’s job it is to eliminate reverence and concentration at Mass.
So brother, “lift it up” and pray for them!

 

[cradlecatholic5]

If a parish embraces holding hands during the Our Father, it becomes the norm and not participating you are looked at as you are doing something wrong.

In my parish, whoever wants to hold hands during the Our Father does, who doesn’t want to doesn’t … it’s a matter of preference.

 

[Tsuwano]

I agree with Rascalking about all these issues

So do I.

 

[Ridgerunner]

20 miles isn’t a long way to go for Mass, in my opinion. I’ll drive that far and more just to pick blackberries. Do it if it is meaningful for you.

A long time ago I read something somebody or other wrote about the Mass; the Eucharist in particular. The person said that when the host and wine are transubstantiated, and when we approach Communion, we ARE in heaven; or at least as close as we’re going to get here on earth. I thought about that a lot, and now, every Mass, I think about that, and no matter what is going on that I don’t like, I think about “being in heaven” at those moments. God manifests Himself to us. He’s right there. We join our lives to His right then, and I can walk right up to Him and receive Him. Walk right up to God! Now, that’s something.

Knowing that, I can put up with a lot.

 

[Rascalking]

For someone who is almost always in the minority, all the agreement is pretty cool. Thanks everyone.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

My wife and I (and our 5 kids) are very traditional (if you will) in our Catholic beliefs. …

• The crucifix behind the alter was not present, it was Jesus raising his arms as if from the resurrection with rays of light behind him.
• The piano was up front and lead into more of a show than playing music to complement the Mass.
• Upon entering the Church many people were carrying on conversations as if it were the Church hall, there was even a person in front of me texting.
• This was a 6pm Mass so it seems that most people were just there to “fulfill their weekend obligation” and the simple reverence for the Mass was not there.
• There was no second reading, is that right or okay?
• The ladies that brought up the gifts were processing to the back of the Church and halfway back they were talking and the only lady laughed so hard that she had to cover her mouth to hold in the laughing.
• The priest giving handshakes and “fives” to kids as he processed out at the end of Mass.
• As we were leaving those same ladies (guessing they were ushers) were handing out bulletins and telling every (very loudly) “Thanks for coming, come and see us again.” “Thanks, we will see you next weekend.”

For myself and my wife it became very difficult for us to concentrate on the Mass and not focus out attention on the abuses going on during the Mass. It is just not as simple as closing our eyes to concentrate as we have the kiddos around. It is as if we get nothing out of Mass. We know that the Mass is still valid, the consecration is still valid, but we feel that we are not fully prepared ourselves to receive communion.

Anyone else experience this? If so, what have you done in these situations? It saddens me that this is going on and no one seems to think that it is “wrong.” I am pretty sure that we will drive the extra miles needed to go to a different Church and even go to the Latin Mass that is 20 miles away.

Just looking for others thoughts.

It would distract me.

If people are being honest, there are many distractions, even if you try your hardest to concentrate on the Sacrifice. It’s just human.

I keep trying to steer my attention back to the best of my ability.

We did go to Mass where they changed the liturgy to make it more ‘inclusive.’ Never went back there.