"Harmless flirting"

[redtech]

what do you think would happen if you started sending emails to both of them from YOUR email account and being really flirtations and nasty? Would she feel ashamed? Would it turn her off?

Or you could start emailing pictures of your kids to her and funny things that they did that day. Then she might think more about what she was doing was wrong. I know if I had a crush on a guy and suddenly pictures of his kids were getting thrust in my face, I’d back WAYYY off.

 

[Dandelion_Wine]

(1) it hurts me,

Then it’s not harmless.

they know it’s something they’re not supposed to be doing

Then it’s not innocent.

that there’s nothing wrong with what he’s doing and that any psychologist or counselor would say just as much.

That is not true. Call his bluff. Schedule some time with a counselor, bring him and a printout of these messages along. I don’t know ANY counselor who would call this harmless or innocent or not wrong.

I told him we could go talk to the priest at our church and see if he agrees with that.

Good for you! Do it!

My husband also says that if I knew the whole story that I wouldn’t be upset.

He can tell you the whole story in front of a priest or counselor

Does it matter if he has no intentions of taking it any further?

Yes. Intentions can change. If you hang out w/ people doing pot day after day after day, even with no intentions of ever doing it yourself, it’s going to wear on you. As we pray in the Lord’s Prayer - “Lead us not into temptation”

When I tell him it is hurtful to me and makes me feel like I’m not enough for him he basically says that’s my problem, not his. Then when I kept pressing he started in on how if he doesn’t get what he needs at home then he has to get it from somewhere.

YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME. Let me repeat that. YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME.

He is justifying his poor behavior, nothing more.

It sounds like you should take him up on the counseling. You both need it. You have needs that are being unfulfilled. He may have needs that are being unfulfilled. Right now there isn’t healthy communication between the two of you.

Ask your husband to have this woman (and her husband if she is married) over to your home for dinner. If they really are friends and friends only, he should be thrilled to introduce his friend to his wife - and the friend should be equally thrilled to meet his wife.

GREAT ADVICE! And when (not likely) she comes, ask her if she prefers or Cinnamon.

 

[chevalier]

Pronouncing Cinnamon with a single “n” would probably be uncharitable, but I would be tempted…

 

[mheintz]

Peapie,

From personal experience this is VERY serious. Whether or not he could find a psychologist who would agree that this behavior is harmless is irrelevant. There are black and whites in this world and it is high time we start seeing them as such and stop excusing away our behavior because someone who is “of this world” tells us it’s okay.

You need to have a serious conversation with him and stop this before it goes farther. The fact that your husband doesn’t think there is anything wrong with it is an indication that his mind is already being warped. You could say it is hormones or whatever, but it has got to stop before it goes too far.

The problem is that he has to somehow come to the realization that this is wrong. Putting your foot down in some way could just drive him away. But not doing something could jeopardize his salvation if he falls into serious sin. Satan has got his hooks in him.

God bless you. I’ll be praying for you and your family.

Mike

 

[argon091076]

There is no grey area…flirting is flirting.