Has anyone EVER heard "Speak now or forever hold your peace?" at a Catholic wedding?

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Well, my father walked me down the aisle and gave me a blessing before I was “handed off” to my husband. But I have attended weddings (Protestant) where the minister or officiant asked, “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” and Dad answers loud and proud, “I do” or “Her mother and I do”.

We also didn’t do the “You may now kiss the bride”, although after the final blessing, we did kiss before we turned and walked back up the aisle.
 
I’m quite sure we kissed too. I don’t remember if the priest said anything or just motioned or told us to do it at that point. I know I have seen many of my Catholic cousins kiss at their Catholic weddings right after the actual marriage part.
 
ComplineSanFran said:
You know, the Anglican marriage liturgy from the Book of Common Prayer is so beautiful, and has become the standard for what we think of when we witness a wedding ceremony.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honourable estate, instituted of God in the time of creation, signifying unto us the mystical union that is between Christ and his Church.”
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I think of the wedding scene in" The Deer Hunter". Sadly, as a lifelong Byzantine Catholic, I’ve only been to three Byzantine Crownings, so I have to resort to Hollywood’s portrayal.
 
Actually, when the Catholic Church still used the Sarum Rite, it was part of weddings. Thus:

“Ad moneo igitur vos omnes, vt si quis ex vobis aliquid dicere sciat, quare isti adolescentes legitime contrahere non possint, modo confiteatur.”

This warning was specifically supposed to be given by the priest in the vernacular, which in English would become:

“Therefore I charge you all now, by the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost, that if any of you know any reason why these young people may not legitimately marry, you should say so now.”
 
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It makes sense that parts of the Sarum rite transmigrated into the BCP. Same area and only a few generations, if that, apart.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
I would note that while Catholic priests don’t ask “Who gives this woman?” it’s customary to have the father, or in my case the mother since my father had died long before, hand off the bride to the groom at the altar, so you get the visual “giving away”, which makes the question a bit superfluous IMHO.
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There is no such notion in the east . . . but the notion is still present living here.

I escorted my daughter from the gate of the patio to the church door, and the priest took them from there . . .
Tis_Bearself said:
I’m quite sure we kissed too.
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I’m amazed at how little of my wedding I actually remember. The clearest piece is my wife going over to the side offer for a prayer to Mary.

hawk
 
Yes I have heard something like that “our new married couple John Smith and Mary Jones”. (but it sounded nicer when he said it
 
I’m not a 100% sure, but I think it’s a legal requirement to ask that question in the UK. It is definitely a legal requirement that doors of the venue the ceremony is being held at be unlocked for the duration of the ceremony.
 
It was originally a way to ensure the parties weren’t hiding something from the priest - for example, that the young man hadn’t married a few years ago and wasn’t mentioning the wife he’d left behind. Nowadays with the combination of better recordkeeping, more frequent moves, and easier access to distant parishes, it’s less useful in the western world.
 
As I understand it this is a relic from the old days. The question was asked to make sure the person’s getting married were free to do so, that is not already married. With modern technology and marriage licenses this isn’t of any value.

A more interesting phrase from weddings is ‘to have and to hold’. That is the language of property. If you have a deed take a look. It might well say ‘to have and to hold’.
 
I was just at a wedding mass last October. The phrase “Speak now or forever hold your peace” is not part of the rite. Nor does anyone, “hand off the woman” or anything to that effect.
 
tseleehw said:
I was just at a wedding mass last October. The phrase “Speak now or forever hold your peace” is not part of the rite. Nor does anyone, “hand off the woman” or anything to that effect.
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Correct as others have said as well. And, I have not seen banns of marriage in a bulletin for years. Going back about 20 years, the priests of my parish met with the couple to talk and see if they were indeed ready to partake in the sacrament. My responsibility was to meet with them as well, review the guidelines of our church and the music and what the order of the procession would be. I then met them, the bridal party and the parents, readers, and all who were involved in the wedding the Friday night before the wedding on Saturday.
During the rehearsal, I was asked almost every time when does the priest say, “who gives this women to this man?” The “speak now or forever hold your peace” rarely came up. Whenever I said that that question was not part of the Catholic wedding rite, the rehearsal stopped and sometimes became argumentative because “I have heard this at so many weddings and I want it asked too!” That was just one issue of many of the 5 years meeting couples and rehearsing them. I always went home exhausted and finally said, “no more!” My stipend in doing this to help the older priests was not worth it.
 
tseleehw said:
Nor does anyone, “hand off the woman” or anything to that effect.
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Silently, normally the father of the bride will shake the hand of the groom at the end of the procession, kiss his daughter, and a subtle “hand-off” from bride to groom is witnessed.
 
The traditional practice of the bride and groom processing together would avoid the appearance of a handoff.
 
At our wedding my dad walked me up the aisle and then gave my husband a hug.
 
Bruised_Reed said:
The traditional practice of the bride and groom processing together would avoid the appearance of a handoff.
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And that is an option. But, what is the big deal of “the appearance of a hand off,” as if it is something to “avoid?”
His_helpmeet said:
At our wedding my dad walked me up the aisle and then gave my husband a hug.
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Sure…handshake, hug. All good. All in silence with no “who gives this woman…”
 
rondirect said:
Silently, normally the father of the bride will shake the hand of the groom at the end of the procession, kiss his daughter, and a subtle “hand-off” from bride to groom is witnessed.
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Not if they process as prescribed in the rubrics. The bride and groom process together.
 
1ke said:
Not if they process as prescribed in the rubrics. The bride and groom process together.
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Half right per the rubrics. One option is for the bride and groom to process in together and the second option is for the bride to be escorted by her parents and the groom by his parents.

However, both these options are rarely used. The common practice as seen commercially and in other churches is the bride being escorted by her father in procession while the groomsmen and groom wait at the Sanctuary with the priest. Personally, it doesn’t matter to me how it is done since it really doesn’t affect the actual sacrament of marriage when the liturgy continues.
 
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