Has anyone here ever prayed to be with someone?

[crmcfl]

Are you saying that when you prayed, you asked “Please let me be with xxx”, without any caveat or alternative? If so, then that is quite a bit different from what I’m doing. I think…

Oh, I had caveats and alternatives. Get us back together or let me forget this person struck a chord because it was a personal favorite of mine. Sometimes I even threw in a timetable (by prom, by Christmas, before school starts). It never occurred to me to say “thy will be done” and leave it at that. Looking back, I can see that I really wasn’t interested in God’s will. I was interested in mine. (I’m sure you’re much smarter than I was. I was pretty hardheaded.)

 

[havemercy]

Maybe God wants you to meet someone else, or to become a priest…

I’m certainly asking him about all of this! I’m all ears, really.

 

[February]

I don’t mean “Please send me a nice person”, but “Please let me be (back) together with (specific person).”

I have been doing so for a long time, really fervently. I feel a bit selfish and childish for doing so, because I am sapping all my “prayer resources” away from other people, and focusing only towards myself…

Anyway, I asked God to either let us be together (my ex-girlfriend, who is not Catholic) or to let me forget her completely. I just want resolution. I’m wary of the fact that we should not be pursuing the lusts of our eyes or our hearts, which is why I asked Him to make me forget, if we cannot be together…

So because of the fact I have not been able to forget her, thinking about her every single day (without fail !!) for almost 3 years now, I took that as a sign that God will allow us to be together.

However, from an objective standpoint, the cards are really stacked against me. She is still really angry…

So has anyone ever done this? Asked God to be with a specific person?

I met an extremely devout guy who was much like me. Never really thought much about God as an adult. Drank and partied and caroused with as many women as he could get. But he changed, as have I. So he told me a story of seeing one girl when visiting his home, praying to meet her, and now they are married. His story lifted me up a bit (I say a bit, since I don’t really get too down over this), so I know it happens…but apparently she was also a very faithful girl and praying for God to send her someone as well. This may be the big difference in our situations…

Anyway, for several reasons I had been through a pretty rough time right when we broke up, and after breaking up, I realized two things (some of you may remember me saying this before): a) I realized that my feelings over losing her - anger, jealousy, sadness - were the product of my deep love for her; and b) I realized that this is how God might feel when we turn away from Him (this feeling is probably deeper for those with kids when their kids turn on them, but this is the closest I have come, anyway).

So in the end, my rationale is that this girl helped bring me closer to God, so it would be nice to help her do the same, which would happen if we were together…

Yes, I’ve done this a few times. One time, I prayed that God bring me back with a guy I was dating; however, He answered my prayers in a different way, and the guy has been one of my best friends for a number of years.

On another occasion, I prayed hard for several years about this one guy. I really had feelings for him and couldn’t understand why things couldn’t work out. The guy is an atheist, and I thought I could help convert him. Well, I still won’t stop praying for his conversion, but God has allowed me to forget about him. (Probably a better thing; in my house, there are crosses/religous items on the walls; in his house, he has a picture of Rob Zombie.) Anyway, I’m trying to trust in God to lead me to that right person; hopefully it will happen soon! I will pray for you, too.

 

[February]

When I was a teenager I prayed for “anybody” because I was so lonely. That prayer was answered for a short time, to get me through my crisis, I think.

Thinking back on my own experience, when someone would break up with me, I would desire them even more. I think that is pretty common. I would start to imagine the person as something they actually weren’t. After 3 years, you may have fashioned this person into the perfect person that got away. Try to remember the things about her that annoyed you, etc., to get back to reality.

As far as prayer, you could pray for all single people to find their vocations in accordance with the will of God. This of course includes yourself, but you don’t have to feel guilty about only praying for yourself.

Peace.

That sounds just like me!!

 

[THutch04]

I’ve done it, more than once, and it’s actually been something that I’ve done recently. I did it all. I had the Novena’s, the prayers, everything all for this intention. Then I was angry with myself because after all the energy I put into it, nothing I did was working. So I ended up just praying that I would be able to move on. When that didn’t work I ended up realizing that my biggest problem was that I was so angry with the person and with myself. So I confessed it, felt very bad for the Priest who had to listen to the whole story that’s been going on for about 3 years now, said my penance, and now I’m actually ok. Before I had to convince myself that everything would work out the way it’s supposed to; now I truly do believe it.

I’ll pray for you, and for anyone who is having difficulty finding peace with relationships…

 

[system]

Yes. I have.

And you know that old saying be careful what you ask for?

There’s a reason for that.

There’s a very dangerous combination in life:
a) God gives us 100% free will to really go out go after what we want.
b) God will allow you to do anything, even things that are bad for you.
c) we can pray for anything, too.

I’m not trying to rain on your parade, but in my case, It turned out badly. And nowadays I try to pray for others more than I used to. And ask for the grace to avoid things that will hurt me or others. and always remember the phrase, “Thy will be done”

Heck if MY will got done whenever I wanted it, I would have been dead by 17!

 

[CSN]

Thank you for all your prayers and advice all.

I note, however, that not a single one of you has said “Yes, I did, and I’m so happy now.”…

Brootal…

But all the promises keep me hoping → all the prayers that basically say “If you ask, it will not be refused…”…

…

 

[John28]

So because of the fact I have not been able to forget her, thinking about her every single day (without fail !!) for almost 3 years now, I took that as a sign that God will allow us to be together.

However, from an objective standpoint, the cards are really stacked against me. She is still really angry…

What makes you think this is a sign from God? Anger, jealousy and sadness are not the hallmarks of a relationship from heaven. It’s just one man’s opinion but the time you spend trying to force this relationship back to life is time wasted. At the risk of sounding trite, remember the old saying, “If you love something set it free…” and so forth. Good luck!

 

[Whiggamore]

I can relate to your sorrow; the same has happened to me. Just like you I prayed, and prayed, and prayed! I pleaded that God might show my love the truth and beauty he had shown me. Why would he not bring her to the Church also? Why the conflict when I was so in love? Alas, no answer came.

But this realization did, and perhaps it will help you: out there, somewhere, is a young woman who will be your wife. Not a girlfriend in an oft painful relationship, but your wife! Show prudence and discernment, and you will find her. This amazing daughter of God, ohhh, she will be more beautiful to your eyes than any other before her or after. Perhaps that is not your vocation, but if it is, have hope because she is there.

This would be my prayer, that God would form me in such a way that is pleasing to him, that his will would be done, so that I may love this woman as Christ love his Church… or at least as well as I can and should. Then, when I am ready, and not a second sooner, that he would bring her into my life that we can love and be loved, enjoying always one another’s company, and all the joys of marriage and family. Make sure you are ready, for she is a priceless gift. It sounds so good… I hope school passes quickly for me.

Pray something like that. His will. For her. Ahhh, pray for her! Imagine, your wife, out there, without you to protect her and guard her. One can only hope she was blessed with as good a man for a Father as we can hope to be! And be pure, always, knowing that you are yours, hers, and ultimately, Christ’s. Read Solomon’s words… hahaha… I’m up in the clouds.

Wow.

 

[CSN]

What makes you think this is a sign from God? Anger, jealousy and sadness are not the hallmarks of a relationship from heaven. It’s just one man’s opinion but the time you spend trying to force this relationship back to life is time wasted. At the risk of sounding trite, remember the old saying, “If you love something set it free…” and so forth. Good luck!

I’m hoping for a miracle. Really, that’s what it will take, since there are many external barriers as well, let alone the fact that she doesn’t want anything to do with me…

I’m not sure where to draw the line. If I’m ill, I might pray to God to be healed, but at the same time, I should accept God’s will. So where is the line? I’m trying to be careful, and balanced, but I want to continue praying, not out of desperation, but out of hope…

 

[CSN]

I can relate to your sorrow; the same has happened to me. Just like you I prayed, and prayed, and prayed! I pleaded that God might show my love the truth and beauty he had shown me. Why would he not bring her to the Church also? Why the conflict when I was so in love? Alas, no answer came.

But this realization did, and perhaps it will help you: out there, somewhere, is a young woman who will be your wife. Not a girlfriend in an oft painful relationship, but your wife! Show prudence and discernment, and you will find her. This amazing daughter of God, ohhh, she will be more beautiful to your eyes than any other before her or after. Perhaps that is not your vocation, but if it is, have hope because she is there.

This would be my prayer, that God would form me in such a way that is pleasing to him, that his will would be done, so that I may love this woman as Christ love his Church… or at least as well as I can and should. Then, when I am ready, and not a second sooner, that he would bring her into my life that we can love and be loved, enjoying always one another’s company, and all the joys of marriage and family. Make sure you are ready, for she is a priceless gift. It sounds so good… I hope school passes quickly for me.

Pray something like that. His will. For her. Ahhh, pray for her! Imagine, your wife, out there, without you to protect her and guard her. One can only hope she was blessed with as good a man for a Father as we can hope to be! And be pure, always, knowing that you are yours, hers, and ultimately, Christ’s. Read Solomon’s words… hahaha… I’m up in the clouds.

Wow.

Thanks for this post. Interesting, informative…sobering…

 

[system]

I’m hoping for a miracle. Really, that’s what it will take, since there are many external barriers as well, let alone the fact that she doesn’t want anything to do with me…

I’m not sure where to draw the line. If I’m ill, I might pray to God to be healed, but at the same time, I should accept God’s will. So where is the line? I’m trying to be careful, and balanced, but I want to continue praying, not out of desperation, but out of hope…

I know this is a hard time for you, so I won’t give you platitudes and advice, but maybe a question or two, and maybe another piece of my experience (since that’s all I know personally). In several places you say that you “ask for the girl, or you ask to forget her”. Why, exactly, do you think God would even want you to forget her? I can say from my experience, I remember all of my relationships, especially the ones that hurt. In a couple cases the hurt was extreme, like the one you’re talking about. When I was younger and more foolish, that hurt lead me down a dark path in trying to kill the pain. So I didn’t learn any lesson. (well I DID learn a lesson, just not a positive one) But the NEXT time there was extreme hurt, it lead me down a path of prayer, and even fasting. **At no point did God lessen the pain just because I wanted relief and at no point did I forget this person. **The best advice I got during this time was to pray FOR her; that she would have a good life and find happiness; and NOT to pray for myself getting her back. The pain began to lessen, although some of it was a deep bitterness I had to fight very hard…and then, after about 2 years of praying for her to have a good life, I realized one day, that something had changed inside me. something “clicked”. Was the pain all gone? no. But there was an overwhelming feeling of peace and the knowledge that God had other plans for me. So I walked out the door that day much more interested in doing things HIS way, and not necessarily, MY way.

 

[homewardangel]

Remember, love is a choice. You chose to be in love with this person, now you need to use your free will to choose not to be in love with this person. If it is an uncontrollable emotion, that is not real love -

I don’t understand this logic - not at all. I have heard this many times, but I don’t understand it.

I love my kids and I could never turn that love off. Its not a choice. Our actions are a choice, but I don’t understand love being a choice. If my kids are bad I choose my actions to punish them, but not to turn off my love.

There are probably men out there who would be an acceptable enough husband - but I could never make a choice to love them. It just doesn’t work that way. There are people that I could never love - at least not in the sense that the original post is talking about. But I can be kind and civil to them - that much is a choice.

To the original post - yes I have been praying for someone. I have resigned to God’s will - but the feelings aren’t gone just because I ask God to please let me see what his will for me is. I have prayed to never talk to them again, I have prayed to forget them, I have prayed for someone else, I have thanked God for putting them in my life - I have prayed for just about anything that I thought would help…even just praying that I do God’s will.

I have no happy news for you - I have been dealing with this for almost 6 years now. And within the first months I knew that I had strong feelings for this person. But I don’t know what the answer is.

For the first year I minimized things, the next few years I avoided them. But they are still here in my heart, the feelings never went a way. So finally I have firmly struck up a friendship - a painfully close friendship. It seems simple enough - but I have cried many tears after our discussions. Initially I decided that the better I got to know them the less I would like them…but it seems to have backfired on me.

I have decided that God put this person in my life for a reason - I may not understand the complete reason. And I would like to find the reason - maybe I cut the relationship short before I learned what God wanted me to learn. I don’t know this is just my current theory.

They changed my life, brought me closer to God and things are much better because I know them. Now I don’t think that God would make me suffer needlessly. So I am trying to see what I am missing in the picture. I’m learning how to be a better person just from knowing them. I am growing closer to God just from knowing them…is that enough??

I know its no help - but your not alone
Terry

 

[Stylus]

I note, however, that not a single one of you has said “Yes, I did, and I’m so happy now.”…

Brootal…

…

My mom’s friend liked her husband very much when she first met him or saw him. I dont’ know what it was about him but soon after she got down on her knees and begged God to ler her have this man as her husband. There still together many years later.