Has anyone (preferably women) experienced "the calling" after 40?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lainey63
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Dear Lainey:
I do know this “longing” comes from God in many packages. When my husband of 46 years died in 2001, and my mother six months later, I entered an order of mature women based in Tijuana, Mexico and lived their two years before returning to the U.S. to work in several dioceses during the past six years. I was 67 when I entered and will be 76 this summer.
I don’t know that I have ever felt like a “sister” - but I do know I had a quiet constant call to live a “consecrated life” - knowing I could live a consecrated life outside of a community of religious women.

We are the “Eudist Servants of the Eleventh Hour” (meaning we are older) - called to serve in the vineyard at the last hour - St. John Eudes is our spiritual father - he was best friends with St. Vincent de Paul more than 400 years ago. St. John founded the Congretagtion of the Sisters of Our Lady of Charity in 1641 and Eudist priests (CJM) a few years later. Both the Good Shephard Sisters and the Little Sisters of the Poor call him spiritual father as well. Both founded by women who became canonized saints.

His initial intent was to provide care for “abused women” - carried out to this day by the Sisters of OLC. We are a small branch off the trunk of the Sisters of OLC - our charism is mercy and our mission (although not exclusive) is prison ministry.

I have loved my life these past eight years and God-willing will renew my annual vows again March 25, 2010.

We have a website that explains who we are - it is the Eudist Servants of the Eleventh Hour and you can see the Sisters by opening the directory…at the top.

The three things that make us “different” is, we are older women between the ages of 45-65 when we enter (and that is flexible both ways), and we don’t live in common or take from a common fund. A few of us do hold salaried positions and most of us live on social security. We have been accepted as a Private Association of the Faithful with Juridic personality in a number of dioceses around the country. We were seven in number when we received our approbation in 2003, and we will be 30 in number this year.

We are one of a number of orders of religious women who accept older women. We invite them. We make vows of poverty, chastity, obedience and divine love.

And yes, many mature women from early times until now do have authentic voctions - whether single, or widowed by death or divorce, we are called.

I do have four grown children (all in their late '40s and '50s - and four living grandchildren in their '20s and '30s…

I hope this will help with your discernment. I, too, felt called to the “contemplative” life - enjoying solitude - yet I know that “contemplation” is a Grace given so that we can see God in all living things - and so some of us are called to become active contemplatives in the world, don’t you think?

God Bless. Take Care.
Sister Kathleen (Katie)
 
DITTO, to Sr. “Katie”… all of our stories are similar. I am annulled from my marriage to a mentally ill individual. Our birth daughter is 29 but developmentally handicapped. I adopted another special needs daughter (only special need about her is that she was 5, African American and hadn’t yet been adopted, but she is the perfect, brilliant daugter) who is now 18. People kept telling me, "…your vocation is to be a mother. Concentrate on that) They don’t know my heart & cannot know God’s will for me.

I tried secular institutes, a secular association with the Good Shepherds & made my vows, but then trying a group of sisters that would have made a wonderful secular institute. Alas, that didn’t work out. I suffered for years after that, but one day God nudged me and told me that maybe I am called to develop a way of life myself. I am in the process of forming The Oblate Sisters of Mary Magdalene. Our website is oblatesistersofmarymagdalene.net/.

The Holy Spirit doesn’t work at an NYC pace, but He is doing great things for me. He will for you too! Don’t turn back, because God isn’t turning you back, the Evil One is.
 
I am 62, married, with 12 children, 25 grandchildren, and 1 great grandchild on the way. I have wanted to be a cloistered nun since I was 12, but since our family was Baptist, I never knew what steps to take to become a nun. My mother advised me to marry a Catholic, and I did that, and converted to Catholicism, but the call has never left me. I feel it as strong or stronger today as ever. But now, I suppose it’s too late, because my husband is still alive and I am getting too old. It’s a little like Purgatory for me, longing to be closer to God, and yet having to wait and wait and wait. Is there any hope for me? My husband will not give me permission to become a nun. I have already asked. What do I do now?
 
It appears that married life is your vocation. The desire to feel close to God can be achieved without becoming a nun or religious.

Have you read Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence or anything by St. Therese the Little Flower? It can be the little things that bring us closer to God.

There are also Third Orders that you could join. I am a novice Benediction oblate at a local monastery. But I also spend time with the Lord in my devotions at home. Maybe you could make a special chapel room in your home for sanctity and devotion? Spend time alone with our Lord and He will fill you!

God bless your desire to want only Him,

Kathy:)
 
mamaharper said:
I am 62, married, with 12 children, 25 grandchildren, and 1 great grandchild on the way. I have wanted to be a cloistered nun since I was 12, but since our family was Baptist, I never knew what steps to take to become a nun. My mother advised me to marry a Catholic, and I did that, and converted to Catholicism, but the call has never left me. I feel it as strong or stronger today as ever. But now, I suppose it’s too late, because my husband is still alive and I am getting too old. It’s a little like Purgatory for me, longing to be closer to God, and yet having to wait and wait and wait. Is there any hope for me? My husband will not give me permission to become a nun. I have already asked. What do I do now?
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Check out the thread on Vocations “Vocations to Secular Religious Orders” on CAF right now. JREducation, who knows a lot, discusses all the types of secular religious institutes which as I understand are for married as well as single individuals. Many have a rule, prescribed activities during the day and a habit, at least to be buried in! You can maintain a relationship and even a membership in some of these long distance with a meeting once a year. It’s worth looking into.

Once again, there’s a list of secular institutes, oblates, associates, etc at the end of the Guide to Religious Ministries for Catholic Men and Women. You can also check out their website, www.religiousministries.com. You can search by ‘secular institute’ and by location.
 
Lainey63 said:
I have spoken to a couple of priests and one of them did say what you are saying that God is calling me to something but it may not be to religious life. He also mentioned spiritual directors but there is a fee I couldn’t afford it at the time. Right now I am in counseling for sexual abuse healing and it is faith based counseling (I mention that because there is a connection).
I have also just begun the discernment process with the Secular Franciscans-I attended my first meeting the past Saturday. So I am a visitor right now. And I am associated with a new charism that is forming in TN, The Sisters of The Holy Innocents. In the beginning I had wanted to join them as a nun, but I have backed off. They started a lay association and I am a “prayer warrior” now.

I also spoke with a Benedictine nun from TX and she told me that I should be able to find a sp in the diocease, I looked on the website but I didn’t see any info in that regards and I haven’t pursued it any further since.

At this point I am taking things real slow.
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You seem to have a few ‘irons in the fire’ and are in good company in all the above you have mentioned. Have you tried phoning your local diocese and asking where you could locate a spiritual director? I would not let being unable to afford to pay one to put you off - once you have a telephone contact number for a potential director, I would put it to him or her that you cannot pay. I dont think the lack of finances should be a reason for a director to refuse you.
If the above does not work, keep a spiritual director in your prayers (finding one) and be persistent. To us it can seem at times that God is moving very slowly indeed but He really does know best and be confident that He is always acting with your very best interests in mind, even if He seems not to notice you - for “seems” to our human insight is all that it is. He is always holding us very close lovingly and acting in our very best of interests - human senses cannot at times access this which is a matter of Faith held in the will if nowhere else.
If God is indeed calling you to religious life and you keep yourself open to that possibility prayerfully, then things will be made clear to you in God’s time. As I said before His clock can seem to be moving far far slower than ours, but “seems” is all that it is.

God bless
TS
 
Incidentally if slow is where you feel comfortable, then go with that prayerfully - TS
 
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