Has anyone tried Retrouvaille?

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constantconvert

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I’m just wondering if it was helpful to you. My marriage is really beyond a retreat, counseling doesn’t seem to help, etc. I’m resigned to living like roommates, but was wondering if anyone was helped by Retrouvaille. If not, hey, we’re in our second decade, half-way until death-do-us-part! 😃

Just kidding… sort of.
 
Yes! My husband & I have been thru a wknd in 2009. We learned a lot at the wknd. And continue on to CORE (Continuing Our Retrouvaille Experience).

We are Prayer Couple for our region.
 
cradlecatholic5 said:
Yes! My husband & I have been thru a wknd in 2009. We learned a lot at the wknd. And continue on to CORE (Continuing Our Retrouvaille Experience).

We are Prayer Couple for our region.
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Were you having a lot of problems? Had you done counseling and retreats before? Why would you recommend it?
 
Yes, we went to counseling. Retrouvaille taught us how to communicate.
 
My parents went through Retrouvaille and it seems to have helped them. It is not a cure-all by all means. They still have their “issues” and “discussions” but I believe it has helped them communicate with each other better and understand each other better.
 
constantconvert said:
I’m just wondering if it was helpful to you. My marriage is really beyond a retreat, counseling doesn’t seem to help, etc. I’m resigned to living like roommates, but was wondering if anyone was helped by Retrouvaille. If not, hey, we’re in our second decade, half-way until death-do-us-part! 😃

Just kidding… sort of.
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We haven’t been able to attend because of hubby’s travel schedule. We could have done the weekend but not the follow-ups, and I’m not going by myself to those. I’ve let go for now, if he wants to do more, he’s going to have to request it. He’s caught up in his father’s drama at the moment. Maybe that will drive him into therapy.

😉

But I think Retrouvaille could work IF both parties really try.
 
hopeful01 said:
My parents went through Retrouvaille and it seems to have helped them. It is not a cure-all by all means. They still have their “issues” and “discussions” but I believe it has helped them communicate with each other better and understand each other better.
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Well at this point we barely speak, so it couldn’t hurt. I don’t mean it’s a hostile environment, he just mostly ignores me except for essential stuff.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Will he go on the weekend? Will he cooperate?
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I don’t know, I haven’t asked him. I’m a little tentative because he’s not Catholic. But right now we’re not speaking because he called me a terrible name yesterday, so I have to wait until we’ve sort of reconciled and are back to our regularly-scheduled non-hostile silence before I ask. He is willing to try stuff to fix our marriage, I think he loves me in his own weird, impossible-to-understand way, we just don’t know what to try next. Most things have no effect, and I have a sneaking suspicion that’s because he may have a mild case of Aspergers-- or something that is beyond just the usual “my husband doesn’t talk to me”
 
constantconvert said:
I don’t know, I haven’t asked him. I’m a little tentative because he’s not Catholic. But right now we’re not speaking because he called me a terrible name yesterday, so I have to wait until we’ve sort of reconciled and are back to our regularly-scheduled non-hostile silence before I ask. He is willing to try stuff to fix our marriage, I think he loves me in his own weird, impossible-to-understand way, we just don’t know what to try next. Most things have no effect, and I have a sneaking suspicion that’s because he may have a mild case of Aspergers-- or something that is beyond just the usual “my husband doesn’t talk to me”
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Sounds like it may be a possibility. If he’s willing to try stuff, yet that stuff you try has no effect, it may be something like Aspergers. Did he ever talk to you? When you were courting? If he really courted you, it could be other than Aspergers.
 
Were you having a lot of problems?

Yes, we were having major problems … my husband was actively using drugs. And the only communication we were having was lots of yelling and all the drama that goes along w/ the ugly world of addiction. And I was trying to “fix” him … so we both went to 12 step programs.

My husband is a Protestant - it doesn’t matter, Retrouvaille is for everyone who wants help w/ their marriage.

Retrouvaille was for us as a couple. We were very serious about keeping our marriage intact and it helped us grow closer.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Sounds like it may be a possibility. If he’s willing to try stuff, yet that stuff you try has no effect, it may be something like Aspergers. Did he ever talk to you? When you were courting? If he really courted you, it could be other than Aspergers.
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No, he never courted me. He didn’t even ask me to marry him (Oh the foolishness of youth) :ouch:
 
cradlecatholic5 said:
******.

My husband is a Protestant - it doesn’t matter, Retrouvaille is for everyone who wants help w/ their marriage.

.
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I’m sure it works for Protestants :D, I just meant that I don’t know if he’s try something “Catholic”
 
***I’m sure it works for Protestants , I just meant that I don’t know if he’s try something “Catholic” ***

I know what you’re saying. My husband at the time wasn’t really “into” God, but it didn’t bother him, as no one is “pushing” anything. 👍
 
Dear Constant Convert,

We attended a Retrouvaille program after an 18-year-long abusive marriage relationship came to the point of divorce. We survived our misery stage only by using the tools of Retrouvaille AND by THE AMAZING GRACE OF GOD! We learned how to express our feelings to each other in a way that allows us to be totally understood by the other and our feelings are respected! We no longer say things like “You have no right to feel that way” or “You shouldn’t feel that way.” We now communicate with each other, and with others, in an open, totally honest and most of all respectful way. It has made the world of difference in our lives and in the lives of our children, family and friends.

Retrouvaille does NOT try to convert anyone to the Catholic faith and is open to couples of all or no faith traditions. Retrouvaille’s focus is ONLY on helping couples learn positive communication skills. It is up to the individual spouses to make the decision to love their spouse enough to work hard at changing their bad and destructive communication skills into positive and life-changing ones. I will NOT lie to you, for us it was – and continues to be sometimes – a lot of hard work, but the hard work has paid great dividends! Besides anything in life worth having is worth working for.

IT IS possible to stay together and stay committed to the promise you made to each other to stay together “till death” IF you attend the entire program and IF you keep using the tools of Retrouvaille. We attended our Retrouvaille program in 1991 and stay active in the ministry to this very day.
 
ditto on everything said by Just Happy.

IT IS A DECISION TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE.

It’s a great ministry and FAMILY. 😉
 
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