Has anyone you know ever questioned why someone hasn't received Holy Communion?

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CatholicZ09

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I recall that one time while serving Mass, the lector didn’t go up to receive the Eucharist. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I just thought that maybe he needs to work something out with God, go to confession, etc. Well, I noticed that it triggered a lot of glares from certain people in the church, which I thought was kind of rude/judgmental because it’s really none of anyone’s business besides the said person. Well, after Mass it became the topic of discussion at breakfast as to what he did to not receive the Eucharist, and it made me feel really awkward because it’s none of our business as to why some things happen the way they do. How would you respond to someone who questions why someone didn’t receive the Eucharist?

Oh, and I’m not saying that the people questioning it are bad people; they are really nice people and live the faith really well, but this caught me by surprise.
 
CatholicZ09 said:
I recall that one time while serving Mass, the lector didn’t go up to receive the Eucharist. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I just thought that maybe he needs to work something out with God, go to confession, etc. Well, I noticed that it triggered a lot of glares from certain people in the church, which I thought was kind of rude/judgmental because it’s really none of anyone’s business besides the said person. Well, after Mass it became the topic of discussion at breakfast as to what he did to not receive the Eucharist, and it made me feel really awkward because it’s none of our business as to why some things happen the way they do. How would you respond to someone who questions why someone didn’t receive the Eucharist?
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First, emphasize that it’s nobody’s business, and then mention that there are lots of perfectly innocent reasons he might not have received (he served at another Mass earlier in the day, and received then; he didn’t finish his breakfast outside of the hour of the Eucharistic fast; he has a gluten sensitivity and forgot to bring his low-gluten host to Mass with him … ) And then change the subject. (“how about that weather, hey?” 😃 )

I happened to notice in passing that one of our Protestant guests was present for Mass the other day, and I was relieved to see that she was stepping aside for others to go ahead, rather than going forward for Holy Communion or for a blessing; one of my other friends was trying to wave her forward and “make” her receive Holy Communion - I was so proud of her for standing her ground and not going forward - very politely, but very firmly. 👍
 
I am a member of the choir and there have been times when I have not received Holy Communion. Once, someone asked me after Mass if I was in RCIA. I said no, why? She said she noticed I didn’t receive Communion and I was fairly offended. I can’t remember what I said but I pretty much let the matter drop.

I can tell you that being in the choir and being in other liturgical ministries such as altar server, I take seriously the need to be in a state of grace. I do not receive Communion if I am not, but I make it a point to seek Confession as soon as possible and receive Commnion worthily every time, just as I discharge my duty in the liturgy every time.
 
CatholicZ09 said:
I recall that one time while serving Mass, the lector didn’t go up to receive the Eucharist. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I just thought that maybe he needs to work something out with God, go to confession, etc. Well, I noticed that it triggered a lot of glares from certain people in the church, which I thought was kind of rude/judgmental because it’s really none of anyone’s business besides the said person. Well, after Mass it became the topic of discussion at breakfast as to what he did to not receive the Eucharist, and it made me feel really awkward because it’s none of our business as to why some things happen the way they do. How would you respond to someone who questions why someone didn’t receive the Eucharist?

Oh, and I’m not saying that the people questioning it are bad people; they are really nice people and live the faith really well, but this caught me by surprise.
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But they are gossiping. I doubt they even realize it, but that’s what they’re doing.

For all we know, it’s as simple as the lector not fasting. Or he was at (or will be at) another Mass. (Seriously, something happened one day that I attended three Masses. The one I took my non-Catholic friend to is the one I didn’t receive at.)

Those who say it’s none of our business are absolutely right.

I wonder how he would’ve felt if he overheard any of the conversation. If you want to be more tactful than to say, “None of our business”, I suppose you could try to say something like, “I wonder how he’d feel if he walked in right now.” It might help them realize they are gossiping.

(Or say, “I’m surprised you all noticed! How often do you pay attention to who goes and who does not?”)
 
Elizium23 said:
I am a member of the choir and there have been times when I have not received Holy Communion. Once, someone asked me after Mass if I was in RCIA. I said no, why? She said she noticed I didn’t receive Communion and I was fairly offended. I can’t remember what I said but I pretty much let the matter drop.
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I am just amazed that anybody pays attention to who receives.

When I’ve brought Protestants to Mass, I’ve always said that as far as not receiving, no big deal, nobody will even notice. Guess I was wrong.

To someone like that it might be good to respond something like, “I’m surprised you paid any attention to whether or not I went. What made you notice?”

Oh, and you are just the kind of servant the Church needs! 🙂
 
Perhaps the reverend fathers should stress from time to time in their homilies about the requirements to receive communion, and we wouldn’t have situations like these.
 
CatholicZ09 said:
I recall that one time while serving Mass, the lector didn’t go up to receive the Eucharist. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I just thought that maybe he needs to work something out with God, go to confession, etc. Well, I noticed that it triggered a lot of glares from certain people in the church, which I thought was kind of rude/judgmental because it’s really none of anyone’s business besides the said person. Well, after Mass it became the topic of discussion at breakfast as to what he did to not receive the Eucharist, and it made me feel really awkward because it’s none of our business as to why some things happen the way they do. How would you respond to someone who questions why someone didn’t receive the Eucharist?

Oh, and I’m not saying that the people questioning it are bad people; they are really nice people and live the faith really well, but this caught me by surprise.
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Aside from it being none of our business, it could be the second or third Mass the lector has attended for that weekend. There’s just too many reasons for us to speculate why one didn’t receive. Its sad that we immediately assume its a grave sin rather than something else.
 
HOW RUDE!!!

:rolleyes:

Do they hang out in front of the confessional and try to guess people’s sins, too?

“Oh, look, he got 4 Our Fathers and 3 Hail Marys! I’ll bet he’s been stealing K-cups from the company cafeteria again!”

:mad:
 
YoungTradCath said:
Perhaps the reverend fathers should stress from time to time in their homilies about the requirements to receive communion, and we wouldn’t have situations like these.
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That, and to talk about how easy it is to fall into gossip…
 
Not since my days in Catholic grade school. And if there are those who question someone’s abstaining from the Eucharist, at least they have the good sense to not speculate out loud in my presence!
 
I’ve been going to Catholic mass for a few years now and I don’t think anyone has ever asked me why I don’t go up for communion. I also know some of our lectors who end up going to multiple masses, so they only take communion once but end up reading for a second one. There are all kinds of reasons not to be taking the Eucharist. It’s really not someone else’s business. They should be happy that someone has the sense not to go up for whatever reason. Much better that they sit in the pew and wait till they should take it, than to walk up unworthily and do so.
 
Oh, crud. Sunday, on the way to Mass, I drank a cold, twelve hour old cup of coffee that was sitting in the console, and finished it as I pulled in the church parking lot (the coffee in question had creamer in it, as well as some chocolate bit things, so I guess it would count as “food.”)

I wasn’t thinking, being half awake, and the coffee did much to smooth over the snowy commute to church. Since Mass lasts about fifty minutes, I did not achieve the one hour pre-Eucharistic fast, and so stayed in my pew.

Someone could be abstaining from the Eucharist for a similar totally innocuous reason. Isn’t it sad that some people’s lives are so dull, that they actually sit there and watch who is and isn’t receiving communion at that one particular Mass. Years ago, more people abstained from communion than you see nowadays.

My uncle used to say, “Great minds discuss ideas. Mediocre minds discuss things. Small minds discuss people.” I’m sure he was quoting someone, but have no idea who. But the advice stuck with me.

Any time I find out that someone is gossiping about me, I offer it to St. Joseph in prayer. I’m sure he had to deal with some wagging tongues as he sorted out his confusion about the Annunciation!
 
CatholicZ09 said:
I . How would you respond to someone who questions why someone didn’t receive the Eucharist?

.
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the same way I would if they made some other incredibly rude personal comment, in shocked horror, asking “why would you even speculate on that?”
 
The priest I made confession to before mass asked me why I didn’t recieve the eucharist that day. I had to explain to him that I am in the RCIA program!
 
I just wanted to add in that I had to physically walk past the lector as we were going to Communion, and I more than likely wouldn’t have noticed if I was sitting in the pew. Typically I’m more concentrated on whom I am receiving rather than who is receiving.
I could care less. I just don’t know what was so interesting about it. I actually admired his taking the sacrament seriously. Many receive unworthily; it’s nice to see someone take the initiative and not receive if they are not in a state of grace. This makes me feel really awkward if I do something to make me unworthy to receive. I guess then I could say, “Wow, you’re very observant, aren’t you?” 😉
 
I’ve never experienced anything like this! I often don’t go up to receive not because I’m in a state of mortal sin but because I choose not to receive routinely (my fear is that I will become TOO used to receiving and start taking it for granted). At times I have even refrained as part of the choir and no one has ever batted an eyelash.

It really is no ones business who goes up and who doesn’t…
 
When people use a statement or question that is leading to gossip, I’ve started saying, “I don’t know, why don’t you ask him?” Then they usually chuckle awkwardly and then begin backtracking, They are well aware that it would be rude to ask the person, but have no problem speculating behind their back. “Well, I didn’t mean anything by it…” yada, yada, yada. Then, they usually don’t gossip to me anymore, because I take all the fun out of it.
 
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