Has converting to Catholicism shrunk your dating pool?

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I am not a convert, but yes been Catholic does shrinks your dating opportunities. Specially if you live in California, where is very challenging to find good Catholic singles. Years back I did open my search criteria to date other people, but at the end things won’t work longterm. I want my future potential mate go to mass with me, pray together, and follow the church’s teachings. I am praying for God to help me find such good man. In the meantime, I need to be patient, and keep growing spiritually. I know women that rush into relationships, got married fear of loneliness, and end up with men that are abusive and treat them badly. I think is worth the wait, God knows what is the best for us. 🙂
 
I think it really depends. I’ve seen a lot of mixed faith couples work quite well. I don’t think Catholics should only look among Catholics for potential mates. There are a lot of open minded people out there who are everything from Atheist to Baptist to Lutheran to Buddhist who would have no problem with a spouse who was a practicing Catholic and would be quite caring and supportive.

Marrying a Catholic doesn’t guarantee being married to a Catholic. People change as time marches on. Some practicing Catholics will cease practicing just as some non-Catholics will feel called to convert.
 
I have to agree with MJJean on this one, I’m not suggesting that you NOT date Catholic men, I’m suggesting that you do not limit your dating to Catholic men. The man I intend to marry is not Catholic, he attended Catholic school and knows a bit about the faith but the most important part is he is respectful and has sat in many Masses and Adorations with me. Ultimately the choice is yours but please do consider expanding your horizons.
 
MJJean said:
I think it really depends. I’ve seen a lot of mixed faith couples work quite well. I don’t think Catholics should only look among Catholics for potential mates. There are a lot of open minded people out there who are everything from Atheist to Baptist to Lutheran to Buddhist who would have no problem with a spouse who was a practicing Catholic and would be quite caring and supportive.
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There is a difference between marrying a fellow Christian who is not a Catholic (e.g., a Lutheran or Presbyterian) and marrying an atheist or a Buddhist. Marrying a non-Christian contradicts the command in Scripture not to be “unequally yoked with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). St. Paul uses strong language in that passage, and I don’t think it’s something to be glossed over, even though the Church will sometimes grant dispensations in these circumstances. Even if the atheist/Buddhist/Hindu/whatever is open-minded, there is still the huge issue of how a mixed-faith marriage will affect children.

Personally, while I might be open to dating a non-Catholic Christian, depending on the person and the circumstances, I would not consider dating someone of another faith or of no faith at all. I think it is unwise at the very least, especially if you want to have a Catholic marriage and raise children in the faith.
MJJean said:
Marrying a Catholic doesn’t guarantee being married to a Catholic. People change as time marches on. Some practicing Catholics will cease practicing just as some non-Catholics will feel called to convert.
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Well, it is true that there are no guarantees in life, but your chances of remaining married to a Catholic are far higher if you marry someone who practices the faith, especially if you pray together and attend Mass together on a regular basis.
 
ClearWater said:
However, one only needs one compatible partner, so as difficult as this process is, I’d encourage someone wanting to marry a good Catholic to persist. I agree that it can be like looking for a “needle in a haystack”. If you find that special one, even a tremendous search like that will all be worth it.
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Thanks for this. I hope you find yours.

In reply to the original question:
From my personal experience I would have to say a definite yes and also that it is highly dependant on where you live. However, being a practising Catholic myself I can’t imagine dating someone who was not. On the plus side though you are guaranteed a special kind of relationship with someone who shares your faith and the promise of God’s graces when you get married.

I don’t think I have ever been rejected for being Catholic but then again I have never really tried. Most of the non-religious majority where I live don’t seem to mind, some even find it attractive as a way of being self-disciplined. Just as long as you don’t try to force your beliefs on them.
 
Yes. I mean I have other problems, but if you took those problems away, I’m sure that my dating pool would have shrunk. I think I remember reading a poll sometime for some dating website that said that half of all women would not consider dating a virgin. Well, if you’ve remained faithful to the Church and her teachings, that means that half of women don’t want to date you.

Of course since I think this religion is the truth, concerns about finding a woman don’t phase me, Jesus said that there will not be marriage in heaven and it’s only 50 more years or so till I end up here (hopefully).
 
Isn’t that what dating is? Isn’t it about shrinking the pool until you find one? So if you convert, a lot of the work is done for you, especially if you are looking for a strong, faith filled Catholic.
 
I find it a lot easier to meet and date non-Catholic women, that’s just how that is where I am at. Very little in Catholic singles activities in my region so I’m out in the secular world. I’m not complaining about this state of affairs, at least I get out of the house, but I eventually realized that if I get married, my prospective wife will need to be a Catholic or be willing to convert.

Along those lines, I witnessed an RCIA welcoming ceremony in one of the parishes I attended some years ago. I noticed that at least a third of the initiates were women marrying or already married to Catholic men and seeking to convert to Catholicism. But only one man converting to be with his fiancee and another to be with his wife. A couple of married couples going in together. An unscientific poll, to be sure the plural of anecdote isn’t data, but it helped me to rationalize not limiting my dating pool after I returned to the Church.
 
I knew this would happen. Today a woman decided to just be friends after I told her I’m on the way to be Catholic. Granted, she works in Protestant ministry as a staffer, but…
 
Although I’m not a convert, trying to live more fully in line with the Church has shrunk my dating options. On one Catholic dating site, you are able to answer questions such as “do you agree with the Church’s teaching on premarital sex”. I answered “yes”, and got no responses to my profile. For kicks, I changed it to “no”, and boy, did men begin to take an interest in dating me! Been there, done that and I’m not going back to it.
 
CaliLobo said:
I knew this would happen. Today a woman decided to just be friends after I told her I’m on the way to be Catholic. Granted, she works in Protestant ministry as a staffer, but…
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Gonna start a new thread on this, enjoy.
 
Absolutely.

But I know what I want and am not willing to waste my time. A 40 something never married cradle Catholic once told me that my standards were too high. If anything the search is a LOT easier.
 
Miss_Felicity said:
My opinion is an odd one. I never considered not being Catholic as a deal breaker to my dating or being in a relationship with someone and yes I’m a convert. In that sense no my dating pool didn’t shrink but I will say that what I learned from the church has caused me to impose other limits on who I date so perhaps in an indirect way my dating pool shrank but for the better as some others have mentioned.
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I agree, though I am not a convert.

This is sort of a weird experience…but I dated a fellow who did not attend church but considered himself a Christian when we started dating. He eventually became Catholic actually during the time we were dating. We broke up a few months later. He definitely had a bad case of “convert zeal”, and combined with his family’s roots in a Baptist upbringing…it made it tough. Sort of sad, but for the best. Overall, I went in knowing he may never become Catholic and accepted him for who he was. A buddy of mine started dating a young woman who was Protestant, and he bought the ring before she told him she would enter the church. It was important to him that he bought and proposed before she ever decided, as to tell her that she did not need to feel pressured.

Being Catholic shrinks my dating pool, but I have friends who aren’t Catholic who consider themselves to have a small dating pool for one reason or another.
 
For me, yes and no… let me explain

I did not date at all before I became Catholic. I went on one date when I was 18 and did not even go on another official date until I was 27 and by then I was Catholic at heart and was baptized when I was 28. Since I became Catholic I have been on more dates and I only date practicing Catholic women. My last girlfriend was probably not the most devout Catholic but at least she was trying.

So, in a way, no it has not because I have been dating a lot more since I became Catholic. However, in a way I think it has because when I was a non-practicing protestant I would have been open to dating Catholic women, protestant women and non-religious women as long as they believed in God. Now, as a practicing Catholic, I will only date Catholic women because I am marriage minded these days and I cant see myself married to a non-Catholic.

It is not hard to find other Catholics in Southern California, but it is hard to find practicing Catholic women for sure. I mostly rely on online dating sites. I am on a secular site right now because, sad to say, the women on Catholic dating sites seem more stuck up than more secular women. I guess because of this I have become more open to dating less devout Catholic women as long as they are Catholic 🤷

Catholic women are out there, just good ones are so hard to find sometimes. Or they are already taken. Its very hard to try to approach a woman after Mass for me because I am very much afraid of asking a woman to go out with me only to hear her say “I’m Married” because not all married women wear wedding rings and I don’t want to become know in my parish as the guy who hits on married women :eek:
 
Oh yes. It most certainly has. The before and after of my dating life went from pretty consistently meeting and going out as well as a couple of more serious relationships to crickets. Legit crickets. *Years *of crickets. Then a blip here or there…but nothing serious in the past five years since I converted.

To be fair, a lot of this has to do with switching from a “dating for fun and let’s see what happens” mentality to a “discerning marriage” mentality…for better or worse. On top of that, folks in the area where I live now tend to marry young, so I’m surrounded by couples at Mass and within the young adult Catholic community.
 
iwillrisenow said:
Oh yes. It most certainly has. The before and after of my dating life went from pretty consistently meeting and going out as well as a couple of more serious relationships to crickets. Legit crickets. *Years *of crickets. Then a blip here or there…but nothing serious in the past five years since I converted.

To be fair, a lot of this has to do with switching from a “dating for fun and let’s see what happens” mentality to a “discerning marriage” mentality…for better or worse. On top of that, folks in the area where I live now tend to marry young, so I’m surrounded by couples at Mass and within the young adult Catholic community.
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Well that doesn’t sound too hopeful…
 
There was a post on facebook today from one of the catholic girls i know around my age who was complaining about how all the catholic “boys” are awkward. I got the feeling this was a common sentiment, but it’s also coupled with a common sentiment among the local catholic womenfolk that the guys aren’t asking out the women enough. It must be hard to be a catholic woman, to see that secular world out there with all those casanova atheist/secular men and feeling that you have to limit yourself to boring, awkward catholic boys. I suppose I see why so many try their hand at dating them and hoping to just convert them, it must beat grinding it out in with awkward catholic boys.

Of course I’m pretty sure she and the “you go girl!” women who liked that post were influenced by that dreadful LifeTeen thing that gives more advice about how to have successful romantic relationships instead of how to go to heaven.
 
I have a friend who is a non-denominational Christian. He was pretty interested in meeting my Catholic lady friends. 😃
 
DeniseNY said:
Although I’m not a convert, trying to live more fully in line with the Church has shrunk my dating options. On one Catholic dating site, you are able to answer questions such as “do you agree with the Church’s teaching on premarital sex”. I answered “yes”, and got no responses to my profile. For kicks, I changed it to “no”, and boy, did men begin to take an interest in dating me! Been there, done that and I’m not going back to it.
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DeniseNY:

I am on Ave Maria Singles, and most people there are in line with the teachings and precepts of the Church. One of the other sites does a 7/7 criteria, and friends I know on there tell me many people are 5/7, with the dissenting questions being the one mentioned above and the contraception question.

There aren’t as many numbers on Ave Maria Singles, but they advertise more marriages. I know personally twenty people that met their spouse there, and have stayed married. You may want to browse Ave Maria Singles and see if it is for you.
 
As a guy, being Catholic has shrunk some of my dating options too. When I was younger, at least one girl thought I was weird because I wouldn’t spend the night.

Today, I prefer to date practicing Catholics who are serious about their faith, but I have often said (I live in the south) that I would rather be married to say, a Baptist who was strong in her faith and lived a Christian life (when I was younger, I met some non-denominational people who were not into the party scene, and that was a good influence on me) than a Catholic who only went to Mass on Christmas and Easter.

My parents have a “mixed marriage”, and it has worked for them. My father is active in his denomination to this day (sings every Sunday in his choir), and has been even before he began dating my mother. My dad respected my mother’s faith, and still does today. Many people tell me that a successful marriage like my parents is an anomaly - my mother says it works because they have the same value system.
 
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