Has Marriage Made You a Happier Person?

  • Thread starter Thread starter JamalChristophr
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

JamalChristophr

Guest
Has Marriage Made You a Happier Person? Secondarily, if you felt you were unhappy, did it make you happy. I’m interested to hear what people have to say on this subject of human happiness and going from being single a state of marriage. Thanks for responding.
 
Last edited:
It made me content as I recieved a great gift. But if this would have made the difference between happy and unhappy, I would fear to compensate something better suitable for a therapist han for a husband in marriage.
 
Marriage was a necessary change in my life that was nervewracking at first, but helped to facilitate my happiness along with several other life changes that would likely not have happened, or not have happened as smoothly, had I not been married.

One should not depend on marriage, or another person, to “make one happy”. Happiness comes from within. Part of happiness is the inner peace, which comes in part from knowing you are making a good choice in life that is right for you and appears to be what God wants (as far as we can tell).

My relationship with my husband, married or unmarried, has always made me happier. That is why the relationship continued. If it made me unhappier I would have ended it long ago before it got to the point of marriage.

P.S. I realize this is probably the “wrong” answer and I’m supposed to say something like “Oh yeah my husband totally made me the happiest girl in the world!” Or else people think I don’t love my husband. People are silly sometimes.
 
Last edited:
JamalChristophr said:
Has Marriage Made You a Happier Person?
Click to expand...
Yes, i dated a lot before i married and i absolutely married the best person i’ve ever met. it’s nice to be able to plan long-term things knowing who i’ll be with, you can’t really do that with a girlfriend. We’ve been married 4 years and i just wish we could spend more time together.
 
Last edited:
Just to throw in an additional idea. It seems that the concept of “happiness” is a rather slippery term, hard to define, or meaning something different from one person to the next.
 
JamalChristophr said:
Just to throw in an additional idea. It seems that the concept of “happiness” is a rather slippery term, hard to define, or meaning something different from one person to the next.
Click to expand...
I actually enjoy doing things for my wife that i know she’ll appreciate. In ‘the 5 languages of love’ they are called ‘acts of service’. Selfishly, on same level, i know she’ll do the same for me - but we work as a team and help each other. That makes my life objectively less stressful and enables me to do more positive things in life.
 
Last edited:
Another thought. I think this sort of question has a tendency to be a little skewed- my thought, anyways. Fewer people are going to report that they were not happier in their marriage after or were actually less happy, but I could be wrong about this.
 
Last edited:
JamalChristophr said:
Just to throw in an additional idea. It seems that the concept of “happiness” is a rather slippery term, hard to define, or meaning something different from one person to the next.
Click to expand...
If you’ve got “99 problems” then your relationship/ marital status is just one of those problems. You can solve the problem of relationship/ marital status by choosing the right spouse. This might also solve a couple of your other problems (for instance, if you were having financial problems and your spouse had money so you could pool money and then bills aren’t a worry). But it is not going to solve every problem you have. It might also bring some problems with it because you have to adjust to being married; even if you have been with the person for a long time, marriage is still different.

So, marriage can and should make you happiER, on balance. But it probably will not bring you complete happiness on every front in life, and people who expect it to are having unrealistic fantasy pipe dreams.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
If you’ve got “99 problems” then your relationship/ marital status is just one of those problems.
Click to expand...
I’ve got 99 problems and my wife isn’t one. That makes the 99 considerably more manageable.
 
Last edited:
JamalChristophr said:
Another thought. I think this sort of question has a tendency to be a little skewed- my thought, anyways. Fewer people are going to report that they were not happier in their marriage after or were actually less happy, but I could be wrong about this.
Click to expand...
True. A lot of unhappy married people divorce, 43% in my country.
 
stupidisasstupiddoes said:
I’ve got 99 problems and my wife isn’t one of them. That makes the 99 considerably more manageable.
Click to expand...
On this, we agree 1000%.

I wanted and NEEDED a spouse who was going to try to help me alleviate problems, not cause me new ones on a regular basis. My husband tries extremely hard (sometimes too hard) to be “hassle-free”. And I try to do the same for him, although I am more prone to do something out of the ordinary.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
I’ve got 99 problems and my wife isn’t one of them. That makes the 99 considerably more manageable.

On this, we agree 1000%.

I wanted and NEEDED a spouse who was going to try to help me alleviate problems, not cause me new ones on a regular basis. My husband tries extremely hard (sometimes too hard) to be “hassle-free”. And I try to do the same for him, although I am more prone to do something out of the ordinary.
Click to expand...
As you said:
Tis_Bearself said:
You can solve the problem of relationship/ marital status by choosing the right spouse.
Click to expand...
I wish more people would dwell on that and not marry the first ok enough person they find.
 
stupidisasstupiddoes said:
I wish more people would dwell on that and not marry the first ok enough person they find.
Click to expand...
People who do this either tend to be in a hurry to have kids and other accoutrements of marriage, or else are afraid of ending up unmarried if they don’t grab the first bus they see rather than waiting for the next bus to come over the hill.

It helps a lot if you’re perfectly willing to go unmarried for as long as it takes to find Mr. / Ms. Right, or be content with living unmarried if you don’t happen to find him or her. Since I was young, I always filed “getting married” under “things I might want to do someday but not a big priority.” I was much more interested in having a career. I thought for a long time I might not ever get married at all, and it didn’t seem like a bad thought. (I’m not sure if it suddenly would have seemed worse if I had hit age 30 or 40 with no prospects in sight, as that didn’t happen.)

My parents had not rushed to get married in their own lives for various reasons (Mom was turning down guys she didn’t like and Dad was fighting in multiple wars and trying to support his widowed mom), and they were not pushing me to get married, which was a huge help.

But this is a lot to ask of people. Many of them will feel a lot more internal pressure to get married and/or will have a lot more pressure from their families.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
It helps a lot if you’re perfectly willing to go unmarried for as long as it takes to find Mr. / Ms. Right, or be content with living unmarried if you don’t happen to find him or her.
Click to expand...
Personally i needed a lot of trial and error to find the right person. I have regrets about the way i treated some ex’s and if i’d had some better advice in my 20’s from an older male then i might had avoided some of the hurt that i caused. But for everything I got wrong, i reflected on the mistakes and didn’t repeat them. At age 26 I found the best person for me and we married in less than 2 years from the day we met. No diggity, no doubt.
 
I think it has.

I got married fairly late in life, at 49. Marriage was never a goal of mine – I liked my life just fine up until that point.

And then I met a woman who I wanted to marry.

So am I happier? Hard to say. I’m pretty happy being married. I was pretty happy before I got married, too.

But it’s different happiness. Hard to explain.

In one way I am absolutely, ecstatically happier. My two children are a joy beyond my ability to convey.
 
Oh, yes. And mine is a mixed marriage, too. But more importantly, it’s made me a better person. So has fatherhood. Neither one is necessarily easy, but they’ve both been worth it.
 
Putting someone before myself and sharing and loving with them defiantly has.
Things haven’t worked out how I thought they would but I don’t think I would swap it for anything 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top