Hateful horrible thoughts

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Lololololosjwksuhdbd

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So i kinda have anger issues. I live in a community where abortion is a joke to everyone. It really sucks. There was a guy spreading rumors about me and my friends, and told a lot of our friends not to hang out with us. I, of course got enraged, and I dont know why, probably because of how normalized it is for our school, I had a thought about how him + abortion (you get the context… worst part is, Ive been plagued with the temptation to these thoughts, that this just came on deliberatly, like “ugh this ***** should of been…” Of course I didnt mean it, Im pro life all the way, and I dont know what led me to to deliberatly think that. I mentally slapped myself and started praying. I just… I know those thoughts are wrong and horrible, but how!!! How do I let myself think that deliberatly? My friend told me it was just the anger I had, and that I was sleepy so I was drowsy, but still?? I feel horrible about this. Sure this guys said some horrible things about me, but this?? I have had dreams about murdering others in the past when I was into occult, but ever since I came back to Catholicism I never had a thought like that until now! From what Im told, i dont think its a mortal sin because I brushed it away immediatly and prayed, even though its deliberate. From what a read, you are sinning if you support abortion with your whole chest. God knows I dont, and Im guessing since I brushed it away and prayed Im good, at most venial? But how do you get rid of these thoughts??? They used to be intrusive but now Im letting them in?? HELP!!

Im really conflicted now… like the thought just came up for me willingly, but i didnt mean it. Idk if i knew it was wrong atm but i said 3 acts of contritions 🤷‍♂️ Lol
 
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It sounds like you handles those thoughts appropriately. Reactions such as anger are habitual. The more you practice pushing those thoughts away and replacing them with good thoughts, the less you will have those angry thoughts in the first place.
 
Lololololosjwksuhdbd said:
But how do you get rid of these thoughts???
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When someone does me harm like this guy spoke ill of you, I try to pray for him. I remember “I’ve done people harm and I was not happy when I did that, i was miserable” so try emphasize and realize these people who harm us are not in good place since I’ve been in same place

I say decade of rosary for him. Or another prayer with emphasis of “this person is not in good place, God help me to be sympathetic rather than angry at them, help them to feel better” If that doesn’t work I do a 14 day prayer where each day I pray that the person has everything in their life I’d want in mine : happiness, health, etc

Bottom line is when you do those prayers your mind is full of positive thoughts so there is no room for hate. Like if you fill a glass with water now the glass can’t be filled with something else
 
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I agree with Allegra; you seem to have handled the thoughts correctly.

Remember: just because a horrible, hateful, unthinkable thought pops into your head doesn’t mean you’ve sinned, yet. It can become a sin if you choose to actually desire/will the thought.

Thoughts can come from the devil, too, as a temptation. I know I’ve had utterly horrifying thoughts pop into my head which seemed to come out of nowhere, and are completely against my moral standards and personal dispositions! So reject the thought immediately, and perhaps say the prayer to St. Michael to ask for his help to repel the source of those thoughts.
 
Next time you see the rumor guy say “howd you like if your mom aborted you?” But say it so it hurts him more. Then he won’t bother you, and if he keeps up say something hurtful back to him again till he stops for good
 
Melodeonist said:
Next time you see the rumor guy say “howd you like if your mom aborted you?” But say it so it hurts him more. Then he won’t bother you, and if he keeps up say something hurtful back to him again till he stops for good
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Uh… I don’t think I’d advise doing this, OP.
 
Lololololosjwksuhdbd said:
I live in a community where abortion is a joke to everyone
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This isn’t reflective of the entire community. This is reflective of your school, which is probably immature young teenagers (middle school?)

In the adult world, abortion is never a joke. Pro-choice or pro-life, abortion is a terrible situation that nobody jokes around with. This is what every (middle school?) is like
 
@Allegra thank you. I will try to make a habit of that. I was really worried last night, because I let that thought come in, but to know that I handled it correctly, after having that let those thoughts in bc of anger, really makes me feal better
 
@dshix what does it mean to desire or will the thought. Like at the time, i was being stupid and let that thought in because of anger. Idk if I knew it was evil, but after that thought played it took me a moment to realize it was horrible (it took me a moment because i was tired and zoning out lol). I immediatly said a st michael prayer, a hail mary, an our father + multiple acts of comtritions when i realized
 
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