"Have a Nice Day" instead of "And also with you"?

[yellowbird]

There was an older couple sitting behind us at mass today. They were Catholic because they knew all the responses and went up for communion. During the sign of peace when they shook my family’s hands they said, “Have a nice Day.” Which is nice, I suppose… but not something I’ve ever heard before. Can we say whatever we want during the shake? I’m just curious…

 

[Cavaille-Coll]

Perhaps the couple worked for Wal-Mart. During the Sign (or “Kiss”) of Peace, it is not appropriate to wish people a nice day or to enter into general chitchat. The only purpose of this optional part of the Mass is to allow members of the congregation to pray that the peace of Christ be with the people immediately adjacent to them (not across the church). Unfortunately, many parishes allow the Sign of Peace to go too long. People leave their pews to wander around and catch up on the latest gossip, while even the altar servers sometimes descend into the melee. When I was an organist, I could end the Sign of Peace by starting the Agnus Dei, so at the pastor’s request, I gave them all ten seconds.

 

[LilyM]

Stop the ranting about the Sign of Peace, it’s totally off topic.

The mere saying of four short words - ‘Have a nice day’ - hardly constitutes chitchat or an abuse of the Sign of Peace. The question was actually whether there is a specified phrase in the rubrics that one MUST say during the Sign of Peace, or whether one can say other words.

 

[Cavaille-Coll]

The poster asked 'Can we say whatever we want during the shake? "
I believe that I answered the question. In case that wasn’t clear, the answer is “No.” There is no rubrically-approved phrase such as “Peace be with you,” but saying that or anything else along those lines would be totally appropriate.

“Have a nice day” is probably a well-meant gesture from the couple in question, but it shows an apparent lack of understanding of the Sign of Peace.

 

[LilyM]

The poster asked 'Can we say whatever we want during the shake? "
I believe that I answered the question. In case that wasn’t clear, the answer is “No.” There is no approved phrase such as “Peace be with you,” and anything along these lines would be appropriate, but “Have a nice day” is irrelevant to the nature of the sign.

I don’t think wishing someone the blessing of a nice day is irrelevant to the Sign of Peace. It’s not so very different to wishing peace upon them - peace is ‘nice’ is it not? And something that is ‘nice’ generally brings about a feeling of peace when it happens to us, no?

In any event, the words certainly don’t constitute the whole sign. They may in fact not constitute any part of it.

If my memories of Maronite liturgy are correct the peace is passed by means of the hands but with no words spoken at all. In such a situation you could almost be saying ‘I murdered your mother this morning’ and still, by your gesture, be making a sign of peace.

 

[yellowbird]

“Have a nice day” is probably a well-meant gesture from the couple in question, but it shows an apparent lack of understanding of the Sign of Peace.

Do you think it’s some throw back from like the 70’s when things seemed to become sort of loosey goosey? Or maybe something new?

 

[yellowbird]

I don’t think wishing someone the blessing of a nice day is utterly irrelevant to the Sign of Peace. It’s not all that different to wishing peace upon them - peace is ‘nice’ is it not? And something that is ‘nice’ generally brings about a feeling of peace when it happens, no?

In any event, the words certainly don’t constitute the whole sign. If my memories of Maronite services are correct the peace is passed by means of the hands with no words spoken at all. You could almost say ‘I murdered my mother this morning’ and still, by your gesture, be passing the peace.

I agree that it was totally a kind gesture on the part of this couple. At one point my kids coats had apparently fallen off our pew and no doubt landed on their feet and the man had picked them up and stacked them at the end of our pew. (very kind - I had my hands full with all 5 today) So I’m not doubting their kindess - but I have to say it sort of threw me when I didn’t get the “and also with you.” I think the mass has a certain rhythm to it and when it changes, I’m sort of thrown off track, albeit briefly.

Still, have a nice day is MUCH better than, “I murdered my mother.”

 

[jmcrae]

Stop the ranting about the Sign of Peace, it’s totally off topic.

The mere saying of four short words - ‘Have a nice day’ - hardly constitutes chitchat or an abuse of the Sign of Peace. The question was actually whether there is a specified phrase in the rubrics that one MUST say during the Sign of Peace, or whether one can say other words.

The specified phrase is “The peace of Christ be with you,” or else something that means the same thing as that (not “Have a nice day”) and the response is “And also with you,” or something that means the same thing as that.

So, it would be fine to say, “Peace of Christ with you,” - “And with you!” - or “Christ’s Peace be upon you,” - “And you, too.” - but “Have a nice day” doesn’t really fit with the intent.

 

[Cavaille-Coll]

If my memories of Maronite liturgy are correct the peace is passed by means of the hands but with no words spoken at all. In such a situation you could almost be saying ‘I murdered your mother this morning’ and still, by your gesture, be making a sign of peace.

I wish that the Roman Rite would adopt the Maronite form of the Sign of Peace, as I personally find it very reverent and not disruptive to the liturgy. For those who aren’t familiar with it, at the Sign of Peace in the Maronite Liturgy, you turn to your neighbor with your hands together in prayer. The neighbor places her hands over your hands, then draws them off of your hands toward herself so that her hands are now in the prayer position. She turns to her neighbor, who repeats the action. It is begun by the priest and passed to the people by the altar boys, who then give the peace from one person to the other in silence.

If a person were to be silently communicating that he killed your mother this morning, I’m sure he could just as easily do it with “have a nice day.”

 

[LilyM]

The specified phrase is “The peace of Christ be with you,” or else something that means the same thing as that (not “Have a nice day”) and the response is “And also with you,” or something that means the same thing as that.

So, it would be fine to say, “Peace of Christ with you,” - “And with you!” - or “Christ’s Peace be upon you,” - “And you, too.” - but “Have a nice day” doesn’t really fit with the intent.

Ah, so it IS specified in the rubrics then, I see! Yeah, in that case ‘Have a nice day’ doesn’t fit in enough :nope:

 

[yellowbird]

If Have a Nice Day is a no-go… why would they say it do you think? And both of them… ? I wonder if they wished each other a nice day? I said Peace be with You first, to both of them…I don’t know what I would’ve said if they had wished me a nice day first… because my “And also with you” just doesn’t go. I suppose I would’ve said, “Uh… thanks. You too.”

 

[Cavaille-Coll]

If my memories of Maronite liturgy are correct the peace is passed by means of the hands but with no words spoken at all. In such a situation you could almost be saying ‘I murdered your mother this morning’ and still, by your gesture, be making a sign of peace.

At the risk of further derailing this thread, I find the Maronite tradition to be much more reverent and symbolic than an oral “peace be with you.” Not to be overly cynical, but I’m sure that a certain percentage of people, whether Roman or Maronite, who wish me peace (or a nice day) at Mass could really care less about peace in my life.

 

[LilyM]

If Have a Nice Day is a no-go… why would they say it do you think? And both of them… ? I wonder if they wished each other a nice day? I said Peace be with You first, to both of them…I don’t know what I would’ve said if they had wished me a nice day first… because my “And also with you” just doesn’t go. I suppose I would’ve said, “Uh… thanks. You too.”

They probably just don’t realise that the correct wording is indicated in the rubrics - I certainly didn’t up until now, not that I’ve ever ad-libbed.

 

[LilyM]

At the risk of further derailing this thread, I find the Maronite tradition to be much more reverent and symbolic than an oral “peace be with you.” Not to be overly cynical, but I’m sure that a certain percentage of people, whether Roman or Maronite, who wish me peace (or a nice day) at Mass could really care less about peace in my life.

Well, not to disparage our Maronite brothers, but the same percentage of them probaby don’t genuinely care about those whose hands they are clasping receiving the Peace of the Lord either.

I suppose it’s less overtly hypocritical without the words though.

It used to be taken much more seriously in times past - King Henry II of England reportedly refused the Kiss of Peace as it was in the Middle Ages (imagine having to kiss some smelly medieval peasant!) to people with whom he was at odds.

 

[Fludgecow101]

At the risk of further derailing this thread, I find the Maronite tradition to be much more reverent and symbolic than an oral “peace be with you.” Not to be overly cynical, but I’m sure that a certain percentage of people, whether Roman or Maronite, who wish me peace (or a nice day) at Mass could really care less about peace in my life.

that is true. but what kind of bothers me the most is when ppl like u said are walking around the church saying peace be with you to too many ppl. i think when they do that they’re getting distracted from Jesus, especially since He is just consecrated right before.

 

[Newbie2]

Personally, I don’t like the phrase, “Peace be with you” when used at this point in the mass. People nowadays don’t speak like that, at least in the good old USA. I simply say “Peace”.

 

[kristie_m]

“Have a nice day” is probably a well-meant gesture from the couple in question, but it shows an apparent lack of understanding of the Sign of Peace.

It’s also possible that the person (or couple) in question just sort of let that slip out. I know at least once I’ve accidentally said “thank you” instead of “amen” when receiving communion. Stuff happens.

 

[yellowbird]

It’s also possible that the person (or couple) in question just sort of let that slip out. I know at least once I’ve accidentally said “thank you” instead of “amen” when receiving communion. Stuff happens.

True true… and they did seem like a lovely couple - not crabby at all when my kids were a bit squirmy. Hey, maybe my squirmers were the reason the couple got distracted!!!

I guess I was just curious if we had to say “and also with you…” or even the first part, “Peace be with you.” If saying anything nice was an option, I’d ad-lib a bit more… “Nice outfit” or “How’s it going?”

jk.

 

[ericka1701]

My priest specifically says to “show one another a sign of Christ’s peace”. Some people in my parish will actually flash the peace sign to the whole church (shudder… but that’s just my own preference). I think that the intent is just as important, if not more so, than the words.

I don’t like shaking hands (hugging someone spreads fewer germs), and I get annoyed and even somewhat panicked if someone just grabs my hand without my permission during this, so I don’t really like this in the middle of Mass, and it’s not just for that reason (although if it were just that, it would be good enough reason for me). The consecration has just happened, and right in the middle of this great reverence is (at least to me) a great distraction. I don’t see why at least this can’t be moved to another part of mass (or even better yet, completely done away with). So many people will actually walk across the church to spread peace, and sometimes it has taken up to 3 minutes for this to take place… There is plenty of time to do that after Mass.

God Bless!

Ericka

 

[ChristinaM]

My priest specifically says to “show one another a sign of Christ’s peace”. Some people in my parish will actually flash the peace sign to the whole church (shudder… but that’s just my own preference). I think that the intent is just as important, if not more so, than the words.

I don’t like shaking hands (hugging someone spreads fewer germs), and I get annoyed and even somewhat panicked if someone just grabs my hand without my permission during this, so I don’t really like this in the middle of Mass, and it’s not just for that reason (although if it were just that, it would be good enough reason for me). The consecration has just happened, and right in the middle of this great reverence is (at least to me) a great distraction. I don’t see why at least this can’t be moved to another part of mass (or even better yet, completely done away with). So many people will actually walk across the church to spread peace, and sometimes it has taken up to 3 minutes for this to take place… There is plenty of time to do that after Mass.

God Bless!

Ericka

You would like the custom in Taiwan, where my mother is from. They do not shake hands at the sign of peace, but bow to one another. I found that very interesting and a good example of incorporating the local culture. I think it expresses Christ’s peace in a dignified way, without intruding on anyone’s personal space.

Re: the original topic, I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone tell me “Have a nice day!” when exchanging the sign of peace. That seems a bit unusual.