Have I sinned mortally

[bugr]

Hi there,

So I have been struggling with the vice of impurity and have been making an effort to grow in the virtue of purity. In doing this I’m also trying to form my conscience so that I have a better understanding of the state of my soul. This is in regards to particular happenings that I have that I will describe below:

I’ll be rather specific: I google searched something knowing that I would encounter impure images. I acted on the compulsion of curiosity. I know I should not have even acted on this, I should have rejected and ignored it but I didn’t. Unfortunately I went ahead with the search and did find the impure images. I lingered on these pictures and was saying over in my mind “I shouldn’t be looking at this…I shouldn’t be looking at this…” I lingered a little more than closed the window, turning away from it. I didn’t want to offend my God.

My confusion is this: Have I committed a mortal sin by knowingly placing my self in an occasion of sin and lingering on those images? I know I shouldn’t have and did turn away from them. I did experience some sort of arousal.

Any advice would be appreciated. I’ve tried to be as descriptive as I can without deliberating about the material I searched…suffice it to be impure in all circumstances.

God love you and thank you

 

[michaelmas]

Hi there,

So I have been struggling with the vice of impurity and have been making an effort to grow in the virtue of purity. In doing this I’m also trying to form my conscience so that I have a better understanding of the state of my soul. This is in regards to particular happenings that I have that I will describe below:

I’ll be rather specific: I google searched something knowing that I would encounter impure images. I acted on the compulsion of curiosity. I know I should not have even acted on this, I should have rejected and ignored it but I didn’t. Unfortunately I went ahead with the search and did find the impure images. I lingered on these pictures and was saying over in my mind “I shouldn’t be looking at this…I shouldn’t be looking at this…” I lingered a little more than closed the window, turning away from it. I didn’t want to offend my God.

My confusion is this: Have I committed a mortal sin by knowingly placing my self in an occasion of sin and lingering on those images? I know I shouldn’t have and did turn away from them. I did experience some sort of arousal.

Any advice would be appreciated. I’ve tried to be as descriptive as I can without deliberating about the material I searched…suffice it to be impure in all circumstances.

God love you and thank you

Been there done that…

I will say this, the Holy Spirit is screaming at you and that is good. Your aware of what you are doing and know it is probably something we/you should not do. Confess it.
For me, If i do this, it is the beginning of a fall for me. For me it is a matter of time before I start lingering longer and longer. Thank God for your question. You are seeking the narrow path.

 

[nfreak141]

Friend, me, you, and just about 99.9% of men and women in existence have had that problem.

The important thing to note is that you fought against the impurities, you were not deaf to the Holy Spirit telling you to get off the page. You struggled against it, and deserve kudos for your success.

 

[JRKH]

Hi there,

So I have been struggling with the vice of impurity and have been making an effort to grow in the virtue of purity. In doing this I’m also trying to form my conscience so that I have a better understanding of the state of my soul. This is in regards to particular happenings that I have that I will describe below:

I’ll be rather specific: I google searched something knowing that I would encounter impure images. I acted on the compulsion of curiosity. I know I should not have even acted on this, I should have rejected and ignored it but I didn’t. Unfortunately I went ahead with the search and did find the impure images. I lingered on these pictures and was saying over in my mind “I shouldn’t be looking at this…I shouldn’t be looking at this…” I lingered a little more than closed the window, turning away from it. I didn’t want to offend my God.

In what you describe above, you already offended God. Sorry, but that is just how it is. By turning away you avoided offending God further but the fact remains that this was offensive to God.

My confusion is this: Have I committed a mortal sin by knowingly placing my self in an occasion of sin and lingering on those images? I know I shouldn’t have and did turn away from them. I did experience some sort of arousal.

Again, based solely on your description above, I can only say that it appears you have, though I cannot say this for sure. You really need to talk to your confessor about it.
You knew that you should not, you knew it was serious, and you chose to do it anyway.
I will hasten to add that you have obviously repented of the matter and now you only need to get to confession as soon as you reasonably can.

Any advice would be appreciated. I’ve tried to be as descriptive as I can without deliberating about the material I searched…suffice it to be impure in all circumstances.

God love you and thank you

You did a fine job in describing the matter…I hope the responses are of help.

Talk this over with your confessor.

Peace
James

 

[starryheart]

If you feel unsure it’s always a good thing to bring it up in confession.

 

[Lancer]

Rather than “mortal” (deadly–cut off from Charity with God)…which only God can really know…what your conscience may be saying is you committed a “grave sin”…or a “serious sin” (the objective truth of your action)…if so, your conscience is saying to you…go to the Sacrament of Confession and don’t receive Holy Communion until you do…you need to take it to the priest-confessor…tell him the actions and times and circumstances…he might not say one way or other that…it is or is not…“mortal”…but when you say to the best of your ability…in spirit and in truth…I am deeply and heart-fully sorry for having offended God by my thoughts and actions…then the Holy Spirit and the priest–in personae Christi–can go into action…and they do…"…and I absolve you from your sins…".

1 Corinthians 4
New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
Apostles of Christ

4 So then, men ought to regard us as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the secret things of God. 2 Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. 3 I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. 4 My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. 5 Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.

John 20:19-23
New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
Jesus Appears to His Disciples

19 On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 20 After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

21 Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” 22 And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

Pax Christi

 

[bugr]

@michaelmas and nfreak141

Thank you for the encouragement. It’s a difficult struggle, only grace can aid me through the narrow gates and along this path that I desperately need and want to choose.

@JRKH

You are correct. I, with full knowledge, purposefully placed myself in an occasion of sin, that is a sin in itself as I have tempted God in this regard. I should never have placed myself in that situation. I did unfortunately, but what I am trying to understand is this: In viewing the images, knowing that they were impure and immodest, did I consent with my entire will. I did linger but then did turn away; at “best” it was a partial consent of the will making it a venial sin and at worst a mortal sin. I do realise that venial and mortal sin affects our infinite God infinitely! I’m striving to combat even my venial sins and so I am trying to rid myself of bad habits.

The sad fact is that I went through a violent struggle with the vice of impurity and lust a year ago and had been ‘clean’ for several months…now it’s as if I’m suffering a relapse. I dare say there is a target painted on my back, as with all traversing the narrow path.

I will say this…lazinesss/sloth is a slow acting poison to the soul o_0

I will be most definitely bringing this up at confession…I confess doubtful sins as well…I ask for the grace of right judgment.

@Lancer

I’m not sure what you’re trying to say. I hope I am not misunderstanding what you have typed but it seems that we, according you to, do not know whether with have committed a mortal or venial sin. We can in all honesty be able to tell whether sins that have been committed have either wounded our soul (venial) or brought death to our soul (mortal). This is forming right judgment, forming our conscience according to the Faith. Though forgive me if I have misunderstood what you are saying. I do however whole heartedly agree that once we are absolved that we must forgive ourselves and not look back but look ahead with our eyes fixed on heaven!

Thank you for your time and care to respond.

God love you all

 

[Faithdancer]

In what you describe above, you already offended God. Sorry, but that is just how it is. By turning away you avoided offending God further but the fact remains that this was offensive to God.

Again, based solely on your description above, I can only say that it appears you have, though I cannot say this for sure. You really need to talk to your confessor about it.
You knew that you should not, you knew it was serious, and you chose to do it anyway.
I will hasten to add that you have obviously repented of the matter and now you only need to get to confession as soon as you reasonably can.

You did a fine job in describing the matter…I hope the responses are of help.

Talk this over with your confessor.

Peace
James

I agree. You knew that there were impure images on that web site/ page, and went there anyway. But as other posters have said, don’t beat yourself up over it. It certainly goes with being male, more than one priest has told me that! Confess it and you can always ask your priest if it’s mortal or venial.

Of course it helps if you’re not in one of those parishes that has reduced their Reconciliation schedule to once a week or less. I’m fortunate to have a parish less than 40 minutes away that holds Reconciliation before *every single Mass.*That’s a rarity, unfortunately.

And, btw, Blessed John Paul II made Reconciliation once a week or as frequently as daily, depending where you read about it. And what could he possibly have had to confess, compared to the average person?

 

[JRKH]

@JRKH

You are correct. I, with full knowledge, purposefully placed myself in an occasion of sin, that is a sin in itself as I have tempted God in this regard. I should never have placed myself in that situation. I did unfortunately, but what I am trying to understand is this: In viewing the images, knowing that they were impure and immodest, did I consent with my entire will.

well i can’t tell you if you consented with your entire will…but the Catechism does not say "with your entire will. What it says is, “It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice.” (CCC 1859)

I did linger but then did turn away; at “best” it was a partial consent of the will making it a venial sin and at worst a mortal sin. I do realize that venial and mortal sin affects our infinite God infinitely! I’m striving to combat even my venial sins and so I am trying to rid myself of bad habits.

My suggestion is to not “split hairs” over the matter. Make an Act of Contrition immediately. Pray a rosary or whatever and then get to confession as soon as you are able.

The sad fact is that I went through a violent struggle with the vice of impurity and lust a year ago and had been ‘clean’ for several months…now it’s as if I’m suffering a relapse. I dare say there is a target painted on my back, as with all traversing the narrow path.

I know your struggle all too well. As for the target on your back…You are right…but the enemy can only see that target if you are pointed toward heaven…So keep your eye on the Lord and keep moving forward…

I will say this…lazinesss/sloth is a slow acting poison to the soul o_0

Amen…

I will be most definitely bringing this up at confession…I confess doubtful sins as well…I ask for the grace of right judgment.

Good man…

Peace
James