Have social changes impacted the way you relate to people?

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Contra_Mundum_1

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That thing that just happened in the US is, I believe, a culmination of social changes that have been going on for a long time now. The same is true of many other Western countries that have been following the same ideological trajectory. I was introduced to all of this about 13 years ago when I left my tiny Central European country and went to live in a more ‘progressive’ place. I was in my mid 20s and I guess still young enough to be tolerant of all sorts of things and to believe that I could be friends with people who had completely different beliefs, even with those who spoke about religion (and Christianity in particular ) in a contemptuous way.

Over time I got fed up and started feeling annoyed with such people, and was often depressed about it. But as the SSM forces advanced in their mission, I was getting less and less keen to socialise with people who supported these progressive agendas. I became mistrustful of others, afraid of them even. Some friendships cooled off and I slowly lost touch with a number of people, and it was a relief.

My brother is a die hard liberal and supports all the causes that the progressive ideology dictates. Because of his FB posts and stuff he would say in conversation, I started to desire less contact with him. I am glad that we live on different continents and that we see each other once a year or less. I don’t want him to influence my children in any way. We spent a weekend together recently, and all that time I was uncomfortable around him. I didn’t take the bait and get into hot topics discussions, but I just smiled and wished I had not gone to see him.

I find this very, very sad (especially regarding my brother because I love him very much), but am reminded of the words of Jesus that faith in him will divide families. I have really experienced this in my own family over various issues, and now particularly as the western world is marching gaily and proudly into a beautiful future, and I am not willing to dance to the tune. I have never felt so completely alienated from the mainstream in my life and have never felt such discomfort around other (Western) people because of our different beliefs.

What has your experience been?

Thanks for reading.
 
It is difficult to bite my tongue and difficult not to resent having to bite it. I have learned to stay off certain topics or expect to be literally shunned. It is hard not to take that personally. Still, I remember the injunction against throwing pearls before swine. If you bring up things that people in your life have taught you are simply beyond their capacity to accept, you’re just provoking strife. You have to bide your time and wait until a good time presents itself. If it doesn’t, well, what matters is that we are ready in case it does. When we have been given reason to know that the Gospel is not wanted, it is OK to wait until we are given some reason to believe this may have changed:

Now who is going to harm you if you are enthusiastic for what is good? But even if you should suffer because of righteousness, blessed are you. Do not be afraid or terrified with fear of them, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, but do it with gentleness and reverence, keeping your conscience clear, so that, when you are maligned, those who defame your good conduct in Christ may themselves be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that be the will of God, than for doing evil. 1 Pet. 3:14-17

Our Lord did not have an easy time of it when He was around those who imagined they knew all about Him, either–I mean when He visited Nazareth (Luke 4:13-30). This life is a vale of tears, sometimes more than others. Sometimes, getting back to your adult home without having been pitched off of a height is a win.
 
I’ve always had a “I do what I want mentality,” be it good or bad. My close friends and family understand that. I’m a convert so people will asn why I do things differently and I will explain. I don’t try to convince, I just explain. And then I go on about my day. People know they aren’t going to change my mind and it doesn’t cause me depression to be around people who think differently from me. It takes all kinds of people to make this world go 'round.
My sister is prochoice and proSSM. I have told her why I am against those things and we both don’t harp on it. I will also put someone in their place if they try to get feisty with me and everyone around me knows that too.

Maybe it is just a personality thing. I don’t care what people think or if they don’t agree with me. I’m stubborn and that has probably helped me not be so freaked out by worldly ideas.
I’m not going to become a hermit just because of sin. Sin has always been around.
 
KendraDZ1902 said:
I’ve always had a “I do what I want mentality,” be it good or bad. My close friends and family understand that. I’m a convert so people will asn why I do things differently and I will explain. I don’t try to convince, I just explain. And then I go on about my day. People know they aren’t going to change my mind and it doesn’t cause me depression to be around people who think differently from me. It takes all kinds of people to make this world go 'round.
My sister is prochoice and proSSM. I have told her why I am against those things and we both don’t harp on it. I will also put someone in their place if they try to get feisty with me and everyone around me knows that too.

Maybe it is just a personality thing. I don’t care what people think or if they don’t agree with me. I’m stubborn and that has probably helped me not be so freaked out by worldly ideas.
I’m not going to become a hermit just because of sin. Sin has always been around.
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👍
 
Contra_Mundum said:
That thing that just happened in the US is, I believe, a culmination of social changes that have been going on for a long time now. The same is true of many other Western countries that have been following the same ideological trajectory. I was introduced to all of this about 13 years ago when I left my tiny Central European country and went to live in a more ‘progressive’ place. I was in my mid 20s and I guess still young enough to be tolerant of all sorts of things and to believe that I could be friends with people who had completely different beliefs, even with those who spoke about religion (and Christianity in particular ) in a contemptuous way.

Over time I got fed up and started feeling annoyed with such people, and was often depressed about it. But as the SSM forces advanced in their mission, I was getting less and less keen to socialise with people who supported these progressive agendas. I became mistrustful of others, afraid of them even. Some friendships cooled off and I slowly lost touch with a number of people, and it was a relief.

My brother is a die hard liberal and supports all the causes that the progressive ideology dictates. Because of his FB posts and stuff he would say in conversation, I started to desire less contact with him. I am glad that we live on different continents and that we see each other once a year or less. I don’t want him to influence my children in any way. We spent a weekend together recently, and all that time I was uncomfortable around him. I didn’t take the bait and get into hot topics discussions, but I just smiled and wished I had not gone to see him.

I find this very, very sad (especially regarding my brother because I love him very much), but am reminded of the words of Jesus that faith in him will divide families. I have really experienced this in my own family over various issues, and now particularly as the western world is marching gaily and proudly into a beautiful future, and I am not willing to dance to the tune. I have never felt so completely alienated from the mainstream in my life and have never felt such discomfort around other (Western) people because of our different beliefs.

What has your experience been?

Thanks for reading.
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I am in the same boat. I want to see less of my friends who have lapsed and who agree with main-stream media and disagree with the Church.
I only really look forward now to family gatherings, some of my in-laws are practising Catholics and they have become my best, and probably only, true friends.
But that is all anyone needs, and make some friends from Mass.
I find it difficult to “love one another” most of the time, but I try.
A big problem in the current climate is the children.
I want my children in the Church, but they get told all sorts of lies not only from the media and Hollywood, but even from other members of the family.
A sister in law wants to be so cool that she acts half her age and loves Hollywood etc and I hate it when she starts talking to my children.
That is such a bad effect of social change that 99 percent of non-believers don’t understand.
 
I tread carefully and it depends on who I’m with. If I’m in a group of liberal family or friends, I try to steer the conversation away from hot button topics if I see them looming, because I don’t do well being pounced on from all directions (they can bombard me with a bunch of topics, but I can only advance one statement at a time). If I can’t head it off, I can make a little joke like “uh oh, I think I’m outnumbered here. This conservative is out!” I say it with a smile, and they’ll laugh and drop it.

In a one-on-one situation, I can usually state my case briefly, and without emotion. I don’t necessarily convince people, but I can usually find some area of common ground. I also find that people on their own are more reasonable than when they’re with a group. It seems to make them less defensive.
 
Thank you all for your replies. I look forward to reading more.

I agree with the above poster about children. I could probably ignore much of what is going on today and laugh it off as just another secular folly, but having children makes it impossible. I believe what Jesus said about the gates of hell and all that, but am also painfully aware that souls shall be lost, just like in every generation until now.
 
DaisymaeD said:
I also find that people on their own are more reasonable than when they’re with a group. It seems to make them less defensive.
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Or aggressive.

I like your strategy. I do the same when possible. Arguing and trying to invoke logic and reason never works, especially in a group.
 
Since I work as a DRE, my encounters with this are in the context of Religious Ed.
I have to gently correct people, as 90% of them have NO CLUE what the church really says on most of these matters. If they will listen for a bit, they come to understand that there are certain agendas being advanced, and it’s up to them to weed through and find the truth. It’s easy for young people to be swayed by the media. Harder to open their eyes afterward. People really need to take their children’s religious ed seriously. Most parents have no idea what opinions and beliefs their children have already accepted as correct from television, celebrities, popular media, and the internet.

However, the TRUTH never fails us.
:heaven:
 
pianistclare said:
People really need to take their children’s religious ed seriously. Most parents have no idea what opinions and beliefs their children have already accepted as correct from television, celebrities, popular media, and the internet.
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Agreed. I take it upon myself to teach them the faith, and the parish sunday school is an extra. My husband and I intend to limit the above as much as possible and to always correct whatever nonsense they hear from their peers. Kids are exposed to all sorts of things and I agree that many (most?) parents have no clue what is going on. (It’s Disney-how bad can it be, right?)
 
Contra_Mundum said:
Agreed. I take it upon myself to teach them the faith, and the parish sunday school is an extra. My husband and I intend to limit the above as much as possible and to always correct whatever nonsense they hear from their peers. Kids are exposed to all sorts of things and I agree that many (most?) parents have no clue what is going on. (It’s Disney-how bad can it be, right?)
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God bless you. The future is in their hands. May all parents mold their children in the ways of the Lord.
 
I find it very akward. A few years ago I was having lunch with co-workers and I was the new girl in the department. I semi suspect my boss was gay. And he pipes out ‘the pride parade is this weekend, I am going with my husband’. He was a nice guy and I did not want to cause trouble so I just said nothing. Yet I resented that I could not freely say ‘The ‘let’s uphold Catholic values’ parade is tomorrow and I can’t wait to go’

It is definitely a problem with no apparent solution. I usually just tend to ignore the conversation and hope the topic changes. Nonetheless, when I am alone with someone I will be so blunt as to say ‘I am Catholic and my beliefs are important to me. I respect your opinion but need to make it know for the record I disagree. Perhaps we should talk about something else’

Angie
 
I am a liberal in the Jesuit-type sense, lol. I am fervent and devout and am all about the rules though.

Personally, for me, social media is a light in my life. It’s really a way for me to socialize and I am happy with social networking. I’ve met some cool people via social networking.

That said, I don’t let people’s politics get to me. My dad is really obsessed about politics so I developed a blind eye to it. He gets so heated up about politics, it’s ridiculous. I’d rather turn my focus and put energy into things I enjoy, like hobbies.
 
Contra_Mundum said:
That thing that just happened in the US is, I believe, a culmination of social changes that have been going on for a long time now. The same is true of many other Western countries that have been following the same ideological trajectory. I was introduced to all of this about 13 years ago when I left my tiny Central European country and went to live in a more ‘progressive’ place. I was in my mid 20s and I guess still young enough to be tolerant of all sorts of things and to believe that I could be friends with people who had completely different beliefs, even with those who spoke about religion (and Christianity in particular ) in a contemptuous way.

Over time I got fed up and started feeling annoyed with such people, and was often depressed about it. But as the SSM forces advanced in their mission, I was getting less and less keen to socialise with people who supported these progressive agendas. I became mistrustful of others, afraid of them even. Some friendships cooled off and I slowly lost touch with a number of people, and it was a relief.

My brother is a die hard liberal and supports all the causes that the progressive ideology dictates. Because of his FB posts and stuff he would say in conversation, I started to desire less contact with him. I am glad that we live on different continents and that we see each other once a year or less. I don’t want him to influence my children in any way. We spent a weekend together recently, and all that time I was uncomfortable around him. I didn’t take the bait and get into hot topics discussions, but I just smiled and wished I had not gone to see him.

I find this very, very sad (especially regarding my brother because I love him very much), but am reminded of the words of Jesus that faith in him will divide families. I have really experienced this in my own family over various issues, and now particularly as the western world is marching gaily and proudly into a beautiful future, and I am not willing to dance to the tune. I have never felt so completely alienated from the mainstream in my life and have never felt such discomfort around other (Western) people because of our different beliefs.

What has your experience been?

Thanks for reading.
Click to expand...
I’ve had to give up Facebook. Although there are many good Catholic posts I was getting a lot of hate things re Republican Party, conservatives, and especially posts in favor of SSM and gays. I was getting angry and realized that this now is an occasion of sin for me, so I no longer post on it. I’m also very careful not to say how much I’m against the same sex thing among other people because it’s a hot button issue and some may have relatives that are gay so I zip my mouth. Now I feel I’m in a not so free nation where you can’t express yourselves in a kind or charitable manner. We must pray for our country and the Church, as the recent silence on this issue from the Vatican is deafening.
 
Before “the decision”, I started feeling obligated to speak out against SSM and talk about other conservative positions. I’d pick and choose my battles.

These days, I’m a lot more careful about what I say, especially because I’m in mourning and I really just don’t want to have those conversations right now. Honestly, I don’t know what to say, let alone say it lovingly.

I just find it difficult to respond to anger and hate. I find it sad that people keep acting like it’s a new thing - that speech has consequences. (Really - as if we don’t learn that as children!)

I’m not a Southerner, but people can fly the dumb flag if they want to. I really don’t care. I’m not gay and people can be as gay as they want; however, everyone needs to recognize that the Bible doesn’t look upon sexual sin kindly - even sexual sins committed by heteros.

We simply can’t share the message of Jesus w/out pointing out that “yes, Jesus does love us and tolerates us when we Sin, but that’s not the same as liking sin. God weeps when we sin. He calls us to repent because the wages of sin is death and eternity in Hell (away from the glory of God.)”

So, I’m letting people have their “moment” to “blah” on the universe. (I don’t know how else to put it.) or “**** on God” (if that works better) Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. I want to make sure that my reaction is shown with love and grace.

You simply can’t keep alienating millions of Americans and act like everything is going to be okay and they will put up with it forever. Things are going to get worse before they get better and I’m so sick of people just seeing “sunshine and rainbows” everywhere.

These days, I love my country, but I’m a Christian first these days. I’m not convinced that America deserves my blind loyalty anymore. I love my country, but I don’t like what it’s becoming. It is what it is.
 
I hate talking about politics with anyone, whether we agree on the issue or not. I’m just as uninterested in hearing my own opinion repeated back to me as I am in hearing it attacked.
 
Most people will let you know how they feel about talking about these things through social cues. I don’t generally have problems getting along with the “lets-not-discuss-politics-or-religion” people or the “lets-have-a-respectful-discussion-about-politics-and-religion” people. It’s the “I-can’t-stop-talking-about-politics-and-religion-and-I-hate-any-idiot-who-is-stupid-enough-to-disagree-with-me” people that get me.
 
Allegra said:
Most people will let you know how they feel about talking about these things through social cues. I don’t generally have problems getting along with the “lets-not-discuss-politics-or-religion” people or the “lets-have-a-respectful-discussion-about-politics-and-religion” people. It’s the “I-can’t-stop-talking-about-politics-and-religion-and-I-hate-any-idiot-who-is-stupid-enough-to-disagree-with-me” people that get me.
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That pretty much sums up my experience as well. Both IRL and on social media.

When I first started using Facebook, I naively thought “Oh, everybody’s posting about the things they support, so I’ll put mine up there too.” Was that ever a mistake! :manvspc: :blackeye: These days I have to go very careful. In order not to be tempted toward angry reaction when one of the liberal-progressive among my friends posts something that outrages me, I have to have this little conversation with myself before even going on FB - “Now remember, just hide the bad posts immediately.” Then when I share I share only directly to pages of people I know it won’t stir up a hornet’s nest with. :slapfight:

Now some people are more bold than me, and want to evangelize on social media; I say more power to 'em if they can do it and take the flak. I’m more sensitive and get twisted up easily. So my evangelization skills lie more in the area of helping people out who come with questions here on CAF, or one-on-one heart to heart talks in person - the latter only if the person is respectful to me. If they’re not ready to be respectful, I take it as a sign that my best recourse at that time is prayer and postpone actual dialogue till another day.

Re Facebook, one more thing - it’s sooooo obvious who they pander to - again, I was naive at one time thinking everyone was allowed to express their view. But the PC Police are really running the show. There may come a future time when I again revisit the idea of ditching it or only running it minimalist to see what my family and friends are doing and not spend a whole lot of time going through other posts. 🤷
 
Thanks for sharing guys. I’ve read the new posts over my morning coffee and have a few thoughts.

I never share my thoughts on social/political issues unless I am pretty certain the person is on the same page, or at least respectful and sympathetic to my position. My days consist of home educating the kids, taking them out to activities, and hanging out with other expat families once a week or so. The conversation is normally light and avoids heavy topics, and I am grateful for that.

What really gets to me is when people who shout about freedom and equality and respect think that the opposing view doesn’t deserve that. I find this hypocritical and so completely anti-intellectual. This is not a reasonable approach to thinking about politics, but mob rule, no matter how much they disguise it. I like to point out this principle when an opportunity arises. It has happened that people have looked at me completely shocked, like the thought of respecting the opposition in the name of true liberty has never crossed their minds. Perhaps it hasn’t.

I understand this latest decision is really hard for Americans because the love of the country has been intertwined with the love of God for so many people. And now you are thrown into a storm where the country is no longer a friend to God (the ruling elites in any case) and many feel torn. In Europe this happened a while ago in a number of countries and there is a hierarchy when it comes to identifying with the culture and the faith in those places where the two are in opposition. I am definitely Catholic first and everything else follows. It is not a bad thing that we are clear on where our loyalties lie: God or Ceasar, although of course, it would be ideal if the two would be in harmony. That is not often the case though.

Facebook. Oh dear. About 6 months ago I changed the status of 90% of people to acquaintances and have unfollowed their feeds. I read the updates of my Catholic friends (which are not many, sadly), and get updates form a number of Catholic on-line publications such as First Things, Crisis, The Imaginative Conservative and many others, as well as a number of Catholic blogs. In this way FB is an edifying thing and when I want to know what someone is up to I just look them up and see their posts. Most of the time is nonsense anyway. 🙂
 
I self-censor a lot and have learned not to reply to every post some people put up. And other people, well, I ignore all but the most mundane topics that they post.

If I didn’t belong to the closed Catholic Tea Party group on FB, I would post VERY little.
 
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