Have we become too casual in our approach to the Mass?

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ontheway1

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Our typically casual approach to the Holy Mass is one thing that my non-Christian friends comment on when I invite them to church services. They simply can’t believe that the faithful in the pews and even the presiding minister actually believe in the message of the Mass. I am hard pressed to make excuses, and typically explain that “we are all trying but not perferct.”

Here is an article worth looking at in this context. http://www.integratedcatholiclife.org/2019/04/watson-are-we-too-casual-at-mass/
 
I’d say you’re pointing out one of the major issues in the modern Church. This lukewarmness that seems to permeate a lot of parishioners, when we should be approaching the Mass with reverence and holy fear. It doesn’t help to show our belief in the Real Presence when we’re casual about Mass like it’s just some weekly gathering.
 
It depends on what you mean by “casual”. If you are referring to people who are actually being rude or disruptive during Mass, then I can understand the “we try but people aren’t perfect” comment.

If, on the other hand, these non-Christian friends are talking about people’s clothing, posture, or whether two 70-year-olds are chatting and don’t realize they’re being a little loud because they’re hard of hearing, then I would say that Mass for many people is like a family gathering. Jesus is our brother, God is our father. We approach in a friendly way. That doesn’t mean with bad manners, although sometimes people cross the line, but it also means we don’t have to be super formal in our presentation.

Nor are externals truly a measure of people’s holiness; it was the Pharisees who were all hung up on whether everyone was performing all the rules and rituals perfectly, and Jesus was concerned about what is in people’s hearts.

If someone said that to me and they weren’t commenting on a case of obvious bad behavior, I would ask them why they have such a focus on externals, and particularly the externals of others.

In any event, I’m going to Mass to focus on my worship and praise of God, not to put on a holiness show for any non-Catholic or non-Christian who might be watching me, or even for any Catholic who is looking for things to pick at.
 
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Hello Bear. As yousual, you offer a balanced, unemotional response and it is most welcome. However. (you know how this goes; I agree and then…) Howeve, then, an outside observer can easily perceive the thing we have grown accustomed to. And I think you know the things that can be observed in our churches. Plenty of people are rather lacadaisical about things.
Of course, we attend church to participate in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and not to just observe others. But, we are living in a transparent world and people see what they see. We can’t pretend that this is not an issue. A defensive posture is a way of denying that a problem might exists.
 
When I walked into a Catholic Church last year, I did not get the impression that Catholics were “too casual”. When my husband attended mass for the first time in his life he was struck by how reverent everyone was.

We weren’t used to people being in a church in casual dress, but the devotion of the people was quite evident.

Surely this isn’t just peculiar to my parish.
 
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When I started going to mass I was amazed by how many people there were and especially how many younger people and families
 
Disclaimer: I personally know the author of this article. I’ve had a few small discussions with her on this topic over the past couple years.

I do agree that there are people who don’t know what the Mass is all about. I’ve experienced this at my parish. This is a frustration I’ve had for several years - people don’t really know what’s going on! I’m not going to go off about the way people dress for Mass (that is an irritation with me) but I can see the ambivalence of many people at Mass. Regardless of what people are wearing or if they hold hands during the Our Father or receive on the hand or the tongue - the way we carry ourselves speaks loudly as to where we are and who we are with.
 
It very likely depends on the parish, the location, etc. etc. etc.
 
I guess I’m confused about how are things “too casual”…is it how people are dressed? Is it the holding hands during Our Father? How one receives? What exactly is the issue?

I have a 2 and 4 year old. There are days when I feel like I’m just dialing it in at Mass. We are trying to make sure the kids are behaving. It was different before we had kids or when they were younger and all we needed was a bottle to get them to settle down.
 
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From my perspective, it has to do with how people carry themselves, how they express their attitudes, body language, etc. Unfortunately, it also has to do with how people are dressed. There’s a difference between being poor and being lazy.

I’ve seen poor people who make an effort.

I’ve seen people with the means look like they couldn’t care less.
 
I can only say in answer to this that we aren’t ever out to impress others… only God. It may sound harsh but perhaps remind your friends, kindly that, mass and any prayer or worship is not about the outside and impressing them… or looking like we are holy and having fun or whatever they may want to see. It is about worshiping God and adoring him. We simply cannot know that from outside, no matter how tempting it is to judge others appearances. If we are busy judging, we ourselves are not focused on God. As Tis said in some examples there are many reasons why people may appear to not be reverent to those of us judging, so we must not do it (judge) only God can see the heart of someone. We should just assume the best of the people around us, even those chattering and seemingly irreverent and get on with our own devotion, it’s none of our business if people are talking, not wear the best clothes (how do we know it’s not their best clothes!?) not watching what is going on etc. Our business is adoring and worshiping God. We should focus on that.
 
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It doesn’t (or shouldn’t) matter if parishioners are wearing t-shirts, have their kids with them dressed in soccer uniforms in preparation for a game, or are in a coat and tie.

When the attitude/focus on clothing deters someone who is far from God to come to church to be raised to life in Christ, it is detrimental.
 
All of what you say is true. To a point. If we were pure spirist (not human) or accomplished saints, we could perhaps attain a stage of detachment from our surroundings and commune with God on the alter directly. If we were all able to do this, there would be no topic for discusssion.
When I attend a prayer at the Mosque (no I am not one), I witness a total commitment (external) and have no doubt that people are there for a reason and they know what it is.
When, on the other hand, I am at my church and see people walking in and out, aspecially at the most important part of the mass, chatting while lining up for communion, or running out of church straight from the communion dish (used to be rail), then I have reason to think that perhaps their mind is on something else.
 
I read the article and suggest others do the same.

I had a hard time finding specific examples of what the author means by “casual,” but this part stuck out:
How do I behave before the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass? Like I am about to be present at the Last Supper and Calvary? Or like I am about to hang out with my friends at a family potluck?
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I actually am a little bit bothered by this, but I accept that getting angry won’t change it, either. Our parish is very noisy before Mass. I don’t judge whether or not people kneel and pray, but they should keep things quietly reverent so that others have the opportunity to do so. I suppose that growing up High-Church Anglican, I was a wee bit “spoiled” by this code of etiquette.

The narthex is the more appropriate place for pre-Mass chatter. But in our large and over-crowded parish, everyone’s priority is to secure a seat!

I appreciate the section, “An Examination,” and the author poses important questions. But where none of us are mind-readers or qualified to judge, I also don’t think that we should assume that others around us are “too casual” in their intentions.

This is why I vehemently disagree with the author here:
We can’t change the entire culture of our parish or community overnight, but we can examine our own approach to the Mass and ask ourselves: if someone saw me at Mass, would they know what I believed?
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No. I’m not at Mass to put on some show of reverence for others.
 
Sorry. If God is your priority, the soccer game is not. It takes two minutes in the bathroom to have the kid change from formal clothes to a soccer uniform. Unless, soccer is your god.
 
I think it depends on the parish make up, the pastor, and/or the bishop.

Some parishes are very devout and reverent. While other parishes are lukewarm, and some parishes are boardline heretical.

In many ways, this is a result in a change in society. 30 years ago (and more) people used to dress up a lot more than people do today.

I remember in the 1980s, my grandfather would wear a suit and tie just to fly in a plane. Today, people dress as comfortable as possible (sweatpants, etc) unless they are going straight to a meeting or formal event once they get off the plane.

When I was in 9th grade (1992) we went to an OFF-broadway play. We were required to wear shirt and tie. If we didn’t, we were not going to be allowed on the trip. Today, few schools would require such a dress code for a play.

And speaking of plays, when I last went to a Broadway play in New York (the Lion King) I was honestly shocked at the number of people wearing jeans. It wasn’t that long ago that all the men attending a Broadway play would have been in jacket & tie.

NOW - are some of our parishes a little too casual. Yes, I would say so, and yes, most of us could do a little better job of dressing nicer for Church. However, we are not less casual than society in general.

God Bless
 
Jesus doesn’t care what clothes we’re wearing to venerate and give thanks / praise to Him.
 
Why are you so worried about what your non-Christian friends think?
Perhaps they need to focus on giving praise and glory to God, and not to worry so much about what they seem to think of Catholics who are at Mass.
 
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