Have you been celibate for a LONG time?

[distracted]

I would like to know what your opinion is of celibacy, after having been celibate for a long time (over 10 years)…

I would like to know if you plan to remain celibate for the rest of your life - or maybe you are only celibate because you haven’t met the right person or whatever…

I would rather be alone than with the wrong person… but i also believe that, as the Bible says, it is not good for man to be alone…

thanks

 

[Starwynd]

I’ve never had a girlfriend and I’ve never had sex. I won’t go to a prostitute because there are high chances for getting an STD or AIDS, same thing with a complete stranger.

But I hate being alone.

And being celibate sucks to no end.

And because I’ve never had a girlfriend, all of my friends think I’m a ****** and get a bunch of junk for that.

 

[distracted]

I’ve never had a girlfriend and I’ve never had sex.

Hmmm… wanna get together?? Just kidding… but i think it is SO cool that you are a virgin… I always thought it would such a gift to marry one… even though i am not one myself (i had it forced on me years ago… )

I won’t go to a prostitute because there are high chances for getting an STD or AIDS, same thing with a complete stranger.

That’s the only reason you wouldn’t do that? I would think the best reason was that you didn’t want to give your precious virginity (your body) to just anyone… I pray you save yourself for love…

I wish to God i was still a virgin… but i have been celibate so long now that i kind of … am one again Jesus heals… :hug3:

but I hate being alone.

And being celibate sucks to no end.

I think you should celebrate your virginity… and being alone is good because you can get closer to Jesus… Sometimes i dislike being alone but maybe half the time, i really like it that way…
Are you Catholic? Do you ever spend time with Jesus at the Blessed Sacrament? As you know, He is the one who loves you the most…

And because I’ve never had a girlfriend…

How old are you, if you dont’ mind me asking?? I mean, are you under 20? I have a hard time believing you never had even one girlfriend… but then, i havent really had a boyfriend in a long, long time either…

all of my friends think I’m a ****** and get a bunch of junk for that.

Well, like i said, you have something i (& others) wish i still had… It is a very great gift that you are still a virgin in this sex-obsessed world. I don’t even watch TV because i get so sick of all the graphic portrayals of romantic “relationship”… On TV, a first date usually invovles sex…

Anyway, i will pray t hat you meet a special woman… If marriage is what you want and is God’s will for you.

God bless…

 

[Genesis315]

Celibacy does not mean you have to be alone. Man is meant to live in community–whether it be a marriage household, a religious order, a diocese, etc. Even the “hermits” and stylites had a structured community–they just got together in intervals.

For me, it used to seem like an impossibility, but the more mature (physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally) I become and the more self-discipline I acquire, the more I have been able to relate to St. Paul’s praise of the celibate life.

 

[Genesis315]

St. Robert Bellarmine had a nice little quote on the celibate:

‘they follow the Lamb wherever He goes, singing a new song before the throne which no one else can sing’ (Rev., xiv. 3, 4)! If only they would read the promise which the Lord had spoken through the prophet Isaias: ‘Let not the eunuch say: “behold I am a dry tree.” For thus saith the Lord to the eunuchs; ‘I will give to them in My house and within My walls a place and a name better than sons and daughters. I will give them an everlasting name which shall never perish’ (Is, lvi. 3, 4). But the enemies of the Church will not read and will not understand.

 

[Starwynd]

How old are you, if you dont’ mind me asking??

I’m under 100 and somewhere over twenty.

Virginity is a gift.

Why the hey is it a gift?

 

[GraceDK]

I’m under 100 and somewhere over twenty.
Why the hey is it(virginity) a gift?

You will understand when you meet your future bride why its a gift. Also I can tell you that one who is not a virgin has a much harder time being celibate… something that should not be triggered is triggered when two people come together (or when one comes together with him/herself) and the flesh comes more alive after that with its powerful desires that bother a person…
So virginity is a huge privilege in many seen and unseen ways
Anyway… know that you are not alone. I live in chastity and like Distracted I have turned off TV because I am so repulsed and tired of it.
When you long for the union you should know that you long for the selfgiving and receiving in love… and many of us are praying with you for the end to human solitude.

Distracted. I give you my respect for your years of chastity and I am sorry someone assaulted you… I hope he has been put behind barrs for his crime.

 

[distracted]

St. Robert Bellarmine had a nice little quote on the celibate:

Thanks… that was uplifting…

I choose celibacy because that is what i must do at this time in my life… No choice because no man is good enough for me

I just don’t particularly care to (if given a choice) be that way “forever”…

 

[distracted]

Celibacy does not mean you have to be alone.

good point…

Man is meant to live in community–whether it be a marriage household, a religious order, a diocese, etc. Even the “hermits” and stylites had a structured community–they just got together in intervals.

I am not so sure this is accurate… I think there are some who do better being apart… for long periods of time… but not “forever”…

For me, it used to seem like an impossibility, but the more mature (physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally) I become and the more self-discipline I acquire, the more I have been able to relate to St. Paul’s praise of the celibate life.

are you a priest?

 

[distracted]

I’m under 100 and somewhere over twenty.

Why the hey is it a gift?

because you have something very special to give to the one you marry… your whole self, not affected by the “muck” of past relationships, meaning your mind and heart aren’t all… messed up because of relationships that have not worked out… Broken relationships can really mess a person up… they start thinking this or that about the opposite sex in general, etc…Plus, the more partners a person has had, the more they kind of… well, expect their spouses to be a “composite” of all the good qualities the past relationships had. Then when that proves not to be t he case,the person is disappointed, embittered, etc… Maybe those guys who tease you are kinda jealous??

 

[distracted]

I live in chastity and I have turned off TV because I am so repulsed and tired of it.

B]Distracted

. I give you my respect for your years of chastity and I am sorry someone assaulted you… I hope he has been put behind barrs for his crime.

No… not that i know of… but i know justice will prevail Someday… I have forgiven him (though it was very difficult… I wanted to end my life as a result of what he did… )… That was many years ago…

thank you so much for your sympathy… (hopefully not empathy ).

 

[Aquinas74]

I would like to know what your opinion is of celibacy, after having been celibate for a long time (over 10 years)…

I would like to know if you plan to remain celibate for the rest of your life - or maybe you are only celibate because you haven’t met the right person or whatever…

I would rather be alone than with the wrong person… but i also believe that, as the Bible says, it is not good for man to be alone…

thanks

Yes my whole life, I studied to be a priest, however I found out through discernment that the Diocesan Priesthood was not what God was calling me to. I am still discerning my call in life and I remain celibate. In the end I believe I will either be called back by the Lord to be a Priest or remain a Theology teacher for the rest of my life. I really have no desire to date or be married at this time but of course if that is what God calls me to, I will gladly answer it… What I really have a desire for is to have a more intimate union with our Lord. To that end I attend Daily mass and adoraton, and all the things one should do. Celibacy is something that some in our culture do not understand. But I like this quote from scripture, and in all charity no offense to those who are married…

“The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided”

 

[daeve]

Well, as a divorced Catholic, I’ve been celibate for over 20 years. I’m 57, and was not ready to be alone when my marriage ended. On the other hand, I wasn’t ready to trust anyone either, and eventually decided I’d rather not be in a marriage or relationship at the expense of my immortal soul. I have not met a man (available or not) that could change my mind. My friends’ husbands are mostly awful in some way…selfish or drunk or wastes money or bosses her around…not worth anything much less my soul.

It was hard at first, thinking that part of my life was over, but after a while, it just wasn’t that important. There are times when I get very lonely. One of the worst times was at my grandfather’s funeral. Everyone else in the family was married, and I felt very empty and alone. Going to the cemetery, I could ride in the backseat with one of my sisters and her husband or drive myself. That was about the lowest point of my life. I worried about my ex-husband coming to events like weddings or whatever with his new wife, but he didn’t show up anyway.

However, after a few years and a little blood pressure medicine, and a lot of diabetes medicine, the urge disappears. I seldom think about it anymore.

My mother died a couple years ago, and my dad asked me to move in with him. My son and his wife live in my condo, and Dad and I have a great arrangement. I didn’t know if this would work out, but on his crankiest days he’s nicer to me than my husband was on his best. So now I have the companionship, someone to talk to and snooze through boring TV shows with, but no pressures or demands. It’s the best deal I’ve ever had. I take care of his business, and he does things like stand in line at the DMV for me. I cook, he washes dishes. I shop for groceries and he slips money into my purse.

He’s 78 and that’s scary. He’s healthy, sings at nursing homes and in a chorus. He has a ladyfriend, but no intention of marrying her. She has adult children he wouldn’t care to take on, and she’s already been married 3 times which doesn’t appeal to him.

When I was 37. the prospect of never being “with” someone again depressed me. I got over it. I would like to end up in heaven and I know this is one of the costs of that final retirement spot.

 

[Aquinas74]

Well, as a divorced Catholic, I’ve been celibate for over 20 years. I’m 57, and was not ready to be alone when my marriage ended. On the other hand, I wasn’t ready to trust anyone either, and eventually decided I’d rather not be in a marriage or relationship at the expense of my immortal soul. I have not met a man (available or not) that could change my mind. My friends’ husbands are mostly awful in some way…selfish or drunk or wastes money or bosses her around…not worth anything much less my soul.

It was hard at first, thinking that part of my life was over, but after a while, it just wasn’t that important. There are times when I get very lonely. One of the worst times was at my grandfather’s funeral. Everyone else in the family was married, and I felt very empty and alone. Going to the cemetery, I could ride in the backseat with one of my sisters and her husband or drive myself. That was about the lowest point of my life. I worried about my ex-husband coming to events like weddings or whatever with his new wife, but he didn’t show up anyway.

However, after a few years and a little blood pressure medicine, and a lot of diabetes medicine, the urge disappears. I seldom think about it anymore.

My mother died a couple years ago, and my dad asked me to move in with him. My son and his wife live in my condo, and Dad and I have a great arrangement. I didn’t know if this would work out, but on his crankiest days he’s nicer to me than my husband was on his best. So now I have the companionship, someone to talk to and snooze through boring TV shows with, but no pressures or demands. It’s the best deal I’ve ever had. I take care of his business, and he does things like stand in line at the DMV for me. I cook, he washes dishes. I shop for groceries and he slips money into my purse.

He’s 78 and that’s scary. He’s healthy, sings at nursing homes and in a chorus. He has a ladyfriend, but no intention of marrying her. She has adult children he wouldn’t care to take on, and she’s already been married 3 times which doesn’t appeal to him.

When I was 37. the prospect of never being “with” someone again depressed me. I got over it. I would like to end up in heaven and I know this is one of the costs of that final retirement spot.

May God richly bless your perserverance. Your Dad sounds like a great guy. Have a blessed day.

 

[whatevergirl]

Thanks… that was uplifting…

I choose celibacy because that is what i must do at this time in my life… No choice **because no man is good enough for me **

I just don’t particularly care to (if given a choice) be that way “forever”…

you mean…no man is good enough for you, that you have currently met . There are good men out there…and God might be preparing him for you as we ‘speak.’ I applaud everyone who leads a chaste life. We are even called to be chaste spouses in the regards to lustful thoughts, and actions.

 

[distracted]

Yes my whole life,

So… This is interesting… Are only virgins (and crazy people like me) celibate thse days??

I studied to be a priest, however I found out through discernment that the Diocesan Priesthood was not what God was calling me to. I am still discerning my call in life and I remain celibate.

this brings up a question. I wonder why the Chruch does not allow a priest to be a “temporary priest” as it were… until he makes up his mind. Would you have considered such a thing had it been available to you?? something that wasn’t so permanent??

I believe I will either be called back by the Lord to be a Priest or remain a Theology teacher for the rest of my life. I really have no desire to date or be married at this time

This might seem like a weird question, but have you ever been in love? I have actually known the rare person who has never experienced that… sometimes i think they are not only rare but very fortunate… !!

What I really have a desire for is to have a more intimate union with our Lord.

Me too… I could spend the rest of my life in a Church and be perfectly happy… wouldn’t even want to leave to get food… (until i begin to pass out from low blood sugar… )…

To that end I attend Daily mass and adoraton, and all the things one should do. Celibacy is something that some in our culture do not understand.

No kidding… When i tell people how long i have been celibate, they act like they cn hardly believe it… (probably because they watch too much TV. In TV-Land, No one lives without sex for more than 5 hours… ).

“The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided”

Yes, but that kind of seems to assume that one is married to someone who doesn’t love the Lord much… (which i never thought of until now… )… It woiuld so wonderful to be married to someone who loves Jesus as much as i do…

 

[rtconstant]

I would like to know what your opinion is of celibacy, after having been celibate for a long time (over 10 years)…

I would like to know if you plan to remain celibate for the rest of your life - or maybe you are only celibate because you haven’t met the right person or whatever…

I would rather be alone than with the wrong person… but i also believe that, as the Bible says, it is not good for man to be alone…

thanks

I’ve been celebate all of my life. Though when I was in my teens and twenties I dated (no sex though). I’m prepared to be celebate for the rest of my life though I haven’t really decerned my vocation yet so I’m not sure if that is what’s in the cards for me.

Sometimes I want to be with someone but to be honest I find that often times that has more to do with having kids and not being alone than anything else. That comes and goes though.

What you might find strange is that I’ve always been a kind of popular person. I realize that sounds arrogant but I’ve always found it odd that I’ve never really had a problem meeting people, making friends and talking to women but in the end I’ve never got together with anybody. I think that a lot of that has to do with the fact that I believe in waiting until married to have a sexual relationship with someone. Today that doesn’t win you any points.

My extended family I’m pretty sure think I’m gay. Mom and dad have given up on any grandkids from me lol (though I do at times feel guilty for that). Some of my friends are starting to think I’m gay now to. Celebacy is apparently so difficult to believe that they’re more comfortable with the idea that I’m gay than just “doing without”. Kind of funny and sad at the same time.

General observations. When I was in my teens and early twenties I had zero problems with celebacy. Mid-to late twenties I had a lot or problems with my sexual urges. At time I felt like I was going to explode. I was not fun to be around during those years . Still when I hit my 30’s that cooled down quiet a bit. Now I’ve entered a “free zone” as I call it. Sex has lost a lot of hold on me. I don’t think about it as much and usually I’m always surprised by how much everyone is obsessed by it.

Honestly, I usually feel sorry for most people. They seem like they spend 80 percent of lives worried about hooking up. Its like sex is their master. Something else I find funny is that most of married and dating friends male of female always come to me for relationship and romantic advice. All the while I’m thinking: “have you forgot who you’re talking to?”

I’m OK, with whatever God has in store for me in terms of celebacy but I do wish my vocation would become clear to me soon. Not that I’m wanting to rush God, but I don’t have many young years left and if I’m supposed to get married I’d like to get started on that lol.

 

[Aquinas74]

So… This is interesting… Are only virgins (and crazy people like me) celibate thse days??

this brings up a question. I wonder why the Chruch does not allow a priest to be a “temporary priest” as it were… until he makes up his mind. Would you have considered such a thing had it been available to you?? something that wasn’t so permanent??

This might seem like a weird question, but have you ever been in love? I have actually known the rare person who has never experienced that… sometimes i think they are not only rare but very fortunate… !!

Me too… I could spend the rest of my life in a Church and be perfectly happy… wouldn’t even want to leave to get food… (until i begin to pass out from low blood sugar… )…
No kidding… When i tell people how long i have been celibate, they act like they cn hardly believe it… (probably because they watch too much TV. In TV-Land, No one lives without sex for more than 5 hours… ).

Yes, but that kind of seems to assume that one is married to someone who doesn’t love the Lord much… (which i never thought of until now… )… It woiuld so wonderful to be married to someone who loves Jesus as much as i do…

Yes of course I have been in love, when I was discerning to the Priesthood there was a young lady that I had very strong feelings for. She is a wonderful Catholic woman. The ideal Catholic Woman I would say. However after much discernment and asking the question of pristhood or marriage repeatedly in front of the blessed sacrament. God answered my prayers and called me to the Priesthood. She is a teacher in Peru with a religious order so it worked out well for both of us. I love the Church and obey her rules. Whatever God calls me to do in the end, I will natually accept. His will be done.

 

[Jimdandy]

even though i am not one myself (i had it forced on me years ago… )(distracted)

You are still virginal if someone raped you.

 

[distracted]

I’ve been celebate all of my life. Though when I was in my teens and twenties I dated (no sex though). I’m prepared to be celebate for the rest of my life though I haven’t really decerned my vocation yet so I’m not sure if that is what’s in the cards for me.

this is really weird… It seems that most people who respond here are virgins… I guess that shouldn’t surprise me, considring the way this world is so sex-obsessed… (TV )… meaning: Where are all the people who are not virgins, but have been alone/celibate for a long time??

. I think that a lot of that has to do with the fact that I believe in waiting until married to have a sexual relationship with someone. Today that doesn’t win you any points.

Yeah, for sure… but it makes points with me. I appreciate hearing about people waiting for marriage… such stories may even help to eradicate some of my deeply-entrenched cynicism…

). Some of my friends are starting to think I’m gay now to. Celebacy is apparently so difficult to believe that they’re more comfortable with the idea that I’m gay than just “doing without”. Kind of funny and sad at the same time.

yeah, no kidding… kinda pathetic to me… a sign of the times… (and/or maybe they watch too much Craig Ferguson )…

Mid-to late twenties I had a lot or problems with my sexual urges. At time I felt like I was going to explode. I was not fun to be around during those years

How do you mean? did you try to lose your virginity?? You don’t have to say if it is too personal, but you got me curious…

. . Sex has lost a lot of hold on me. I don’t think about it as much and usually I’m always surprised by how much everyone is obsessed by it.

Yeah… me too. I appreciate the gift that sex is (from God) but i don’t understand how, like on TV, that is ALL anyone talks about… Really super weird…

Honestly, I usually feel sorry for most people. They seem like they spend 80 percent of lives worried about hooking up.

If you have read any of my posts on other forums, u may accuse me of the same thing… but really… I am not as worried about finding someone as i sometimes sound… If i was, i would have “hooked up” already… Instead, i have been alone for many years and probably will be for many more… if i can’t find Mr. Right… (someone who loves Jesus and is pretty fanatical about it )…

Its like sex is their master.

… Yeah… you can see this on the Late late show but also on the Late show (Letterman). He used to be pretty decent… Everyone seems to be getting on the sex-joke bandwagon… esp perverted sex… Yikes… (C. Ferguson)…

I’m OK, with whatever God has in store for me in terms of celebacy but I do wish my vocation would become clear to me soon.

Me too… I thought i was supposed to get married, even heard that word in my head when i prayed once… but so far… well, i haven’t found anyone (?) but i have learned an awful lot about marriage (in the eyes of God) and maybe that was what i was supposed to do - learn… Marriage in His eyes is NOT the same as in teh eyes of the world…

eNot that I’m wanting to rush God, but I don’t have many young years left and if I’m supposed to get married I’d like to get started on that lol.

I totally understand… but maybe marriage (as we know it) isn’t all its cracked up to be… I get scared when i think of having to give up all my privacy… being able to do what i want when i want…
The only reason i thought of marriage at all was because i htought that was what God wnated… I could get married or not get married… wouldn’t bother me a bit (except that , frankly, i wouldn’t mind having someone tobe physical with… not sexual… althought that would be nice… but just someone to lie next to at night… and tlak to… I used to have a male friend i did that with… some of the best times of my life… He was very intelligent & we coiuld talk about all kidns of different things and he never pressured me for sex… (too intellecutal for that )… The only reason i broke away was 'cause he wasn’t into Jesus…
Anyway… thanks for sharing and God bless. Praying for you…