Have you confessed all your sins?

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YourNameHere said:
I have not been to confession for many years because I do not feel comfortable confessing all of my sins to a priest. I just feel uncomfortable confessing my sins to another human being.
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The priest in the confessional is not really “another human being”. He is sitting in for Jesus.

Not confessing sins because you “don’t feel comfortable” telling them to a person just suggests to me that either you’re attached to the sin and planning to do it again and don’t want to be told no, or else you have some pride going on which is keeping you from receiving the forgiveness and grace you’d get from the sacrament. The pride is another sin in and of itself, which is not good.

I understand it can be uncomfortable, so when I have felt like that, I just went to some anonymous priest at some parish where nobody knows me and I may not even see that priest ever again. But in the last few years since I have been going to confession regularly, I have never held back a sin on purpose. Occasionally I have forgotten something and had to mention it in the next confession.

It’s possible that decades ago when I only went to confession sporadically and was more confused about whether stuff I was doing was sinful or not (it probably was, but I didn’t want to face up to it), I confessed but didn’t tell everything. I don’t recommend this practice as it does not make for a good confession, and I don’t do it now.
 
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‘Never, never, never omit a serious sin. The confessional is not the place to tell your virtues but your sins. If you stole all the money at Fort Knox, and threw the baby out the 8th. story window, and poisoned your wife, and then were sorry for all this, the priest would and must forgive all these things. And further, he must forget immediately what you confessed. He can never treat you differently than we would treat an innocent child. WHAT A GLORIOUS SACRAMENT! What a consolation for one heavy with guilt. Here the priest applies the endless and powerful graces won for you on Calvary by Jesus, graces which cannot be exhausted nor be ineffective. So, never, never be fearful. In confession you rest in the loving arms of your Savior. God bless you.’ Fr. Bob Levis
source: http://www.ewtn.com/v/experts/showmessage.asp?number=340781&Pg=&Pgnu=&recnu=

Hope this helps.

Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. Isaiah 1:18
 
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There is only an obligation to confess mortal sins. Being embarrassed is better than being in Hell, frankly.
 
All mortal sins must be confessed in kind and number. Leaving any out would invalidate the confession. And remember, the priest does not judge. He will gives advice perhaps, and absolves.
 
It’s is said in the catachism that if you confess at least a few VENIAL sins and are sorry for them, then those are forgiven. If you are uncomfortable, then talk to friends and family if you are comfortable to. If not, then pray to God to help you
 
When you are confessing you confess to Jesus, not to a human. The ‘trick’ is to feel His love and not your own shame. Moreover, there is no need to turn your confession into an embarresment show by mentioning all kinds of details of what you have done. Especially when its about sexual things. Would Jesus really be interested in the juicy details? No. And He knows anyway.
 
SeriousQuestion said:
It’s is said in the catachism that if you confess at least a few VENIAL sins and are sorry for them, then those are forgiven.
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It is encouraged to confess venial sins as well, but the obligation only applies to mortal sins.

Venial sins would be forgiven in a good confession (i.e. one confesses all conscious mortal sins and is sorry for all sins, etc.) regardless of whether they were confessed. Confessing them is a good idea though.
 
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YourNameHere said:
Hey Eric, I get what is being said. But it is hard to admit your deepest, darkest things to another human being.
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It is the hardest the first time you do it. You think you’re delivering a hard punch to the solar plexus of someone’s view of you. Then you spill it all and…he doesn’t blink. He is happy that you got it off your chest and used his help to humble yourself before your Maker. Why? Well, because he’s heard it all and–this is hard for most of us to realize–no one but us thinks we are perfect and no one but us is terribly surprised at how much grace we need to begin to hope to be counted among the blessed. Also, he is a physician of the soul. You aren’t carrying secrets. It is more like you’re carrying a cyst around that is going to hurt you until it is lanced and drained. After all, no matter how badly you have been treating yoru body, a physician is going to be pleased you’re trying to turn it around, right? You’re embarrassed you have “life-style”-caused physical ails; he is glad you are trying to turn away from those and towards health, even if he is a lot more experienced than you are about what a two-steps-forward-one-step-back that can be. The first step is turning around!

The hardest part going forward is that amendment is harder than we think. It can get discouraging to confess “the same things, over and over and over.” Again, this really surprises no one, except ourselves.
YourNameHere said:
Thanks for your kind words.

I do understand what you are saying.

For me, sins are not like black and white. There sometimes needs some explanation. Therein lies the problem for me.

For example, if I were an embezzler, would I say, I stole money or I stole $20,000?

Do were say things like, I used the name of the Lord in vein or I used the name of the Lord in vein 20 or so times?

Sorry, I fear that I am opening a huge can or worms.
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You aren’t opening a can of worms. You are asking sensible questions that everyone asks.
If you haven’t been to confession for a long time or have a very serious sin to confess or have some other extenuating circumstance, tell the priest this when you start: It has been a long time since my last confession, and there are so many things to confess that I feel so embarrassed about, I think I’m going to need some help. You will get the help. Priests are extremely pleased when someone who has been away from the sacrament for a long time comes to them. They are very eager to make the process as painless and as profitable as possible. (After all, they don’t want it to be another ten years before they see you again!)
 
If you want your mortal sins gone, you must confess those. If you don’t say it, it stays, but in SOME cases the sins were taken away with no confession
 
It’s not helpful for you to imply that the OP is placing embarrassment above the sacrament. Many people struggle to approach the sacrament in the beginning. The fact that he is struggling means he values the sacrament. Try to be sensitive.
 
YNH - I fully empathise with your situation, but the theological reality is that you are not confessing to the priest [he is the conduit] to our Loving God. If you really struggle with the idea of confessing via a priest known to you, then go out of town somewhere to ‘wipe your spiritual slate’ - not forgetting to add your sorrow for all those sins you cannot/do not at that time remember. Don’t forget, our All Loving God knows ALL your sins, and knows and understands our feelings of embarrassment and shame, and that the priest has heard all types of sin, often numerous of times before, and does not dwell on them when outside the confessional.

If you like me are regularly ‘visited’ by memories of long past, and long confessed sins, it will be either your own [psychologically] abiding regret keeping you from becoming complacent about occasions of sin - or perhaps even Satan and his underlings trying to dispirit you and drive you into some sort of depression. Show him such a ploy is counter-productive to his evil purposes by praying in response.

Onwards and upwards.
 
Nah, I was just making a light joke about another poster’s slightly melodramatic tone.

I will be very interested to see the next step OP takes. Confession is wonderful, and the best way to be convinced of that is to try it.
 
Just to reiterate about the priest being in personi Christi, I finally forced myself to go to confession after an absence of a number of years and went to a parish where I didn’t know the priest and there was a proper screen in the confessional.

As I was confessing the priest simply said “uh-huh” to each sentence, and I was struck that this was nothing new to God; he had already seen everything that I had done.

I cannot describe the sense of peace this gave me. If it helps, write a list to refer to (although speak from the heart) and most of all ask your guardian angel to guide you to that confessional!
 
Hey, take it this way. Jesus is there with you alongside with the priest who isn’t only a human being, but someone who’s the best mediator to have and who loves and cares for you
 
I seek that peace. My sins have been a load that I have toted around with me for a long time. Many times I have thought about just giving up and residing myself to the idea that my situation was hopeless. But something keeps me engaged. I believe it to be the Holy Spirit.
 
Go make an appointment with priest of your choice for an outside-the-confessional talk about your fears about confession. Give Jesus a chance to talk you into it.

Jesus is waiting to take that burden from you. He would literally do anything to get you to let him take it.
 
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