Have you ever been angry with a priest?

[Fitz]

I just sent an email to a priest that writes in our local papers. I am so disturbed by his opinions. I told him what I thought without being disrespectful I think, but I can’t believe he is so far from what I think a priest should be.

His whole article this week was sort of dissing people like me that think he shouldn’t be writing what he does. He went so far as to say that Americans don’t even care about the Iraqi people that are dying. Where do you suppose he gets his stats for that?

I don’t want to go on and on, but I feel better in a way after writing. He seems so un-priest like. He seems opposite of what a priest should be.

 

[Tom]

Fitz:

I just sent an email to a priest that writes in our local papers. I am so disturbed by his opinions. I told him what I thought without being disrespectful I think, but I can’t believe he is so far from what I think a priest should be.

His whole article this week was sort of dissing people like me that think he shouldn’t be writing what he does. He went so far as to say that Americans don’t even care about the Iraqi people that are dying. Where do you suppose he gets his stats for that?

I don’t want to go on and on, but I feel better in a way after writing. He seems so un-priest like. He seems opposite of what a priest should be.

Next time you e-mail him, send a CC to the bishop’s office

 

[Fitz]

Tom:

Next time you e-mail him, send a CC to the bishop’s office

I never thougth of that. Would it even help. He’s sort of a independent priest and has homes in more than one state. I guess I am not sure where they would care.

 

[Toni]

To many times to count. But if you feel called to say something then respectfully as you stated is key.

Sometimes I get so upset that I have to spend my holy hours or entire Mass offering it up for the abuses alone.

But I have learned with my temperment it is far better for me to pray and then maybe send a quick email, like just as a reminder; type email being kind yet still letting the priest know that the abuse has occured.

The worst abuse was when my daughter came home from a diocesan school and told me how after communion the teachers would go outside and throw the precious blood on the lawn.

Needless to say for that one I did make an appointment and talked to the priest, with suggestions for the children learning reverence to the Eucharist and then I stated what my daughter had been told by the other classmates. The priest did take care of that.

But I have learned that I must pick my battles.

 

[Fitz]

Toni:

But I have learned with my temperment it is far better for me to pray and then maybe send a quick email, like just as a reminder; type email being kind yet still letting the priest know that the abuse has occured.

Yes, I was respectful- no bad words, but I did tell him I was angry at what he wrote. I was honest but not mean. Thank you for such good advice. I too can get very angry when my children are concerned, so I understand. However this time it wasn’t really my children that bothered me. I guess that is why I could be calmer.

 

[mark_a]

Fitz:

He went so far as to say that Americans don’t even care about the Iraqi people that are dying. Where do you suppose he gets his stats for that? He seems so un-priest like. He seems opposite of what a priest should be.

Assuming he’s speaking of average Americans, I’m not sure he’s wrong.

Come to think of it, I’ve heard “pray for our armed forces in Iraq and Afganistan”, I’ve occasionally heard “pray for Iraqi Christians”, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t heard a “pray for Iraqis”.

Is this the main reason you’re mad at him?

 

[Fitz]

mark a:

Assuming he’s speaking of average Americans, I’m not sure he’s wrong.

Come to think of it, I’ve heard “pray for our armed forces in Iraq and Afganistan”, I’ve occasionally heard “pray for Iraqi Christians”, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t heard a “pray for Iraqis”.

Is this the main reason you’re mad at him?

Now that’s where I beg to differ. I had a daughter deployed for 7 months this year, and most churches I went to never prayed for our troops but many prayed for peace and the Iraqis. I guess I listened differently than most.

I am not in the I hate America club that Michael Moore is in, and everyone I know does care about the Iraqi people.

 

[La_Chiara]

Toni:

To many times to count. But if you feel called to say something then respectfully as you stated is key.

Sometimes I get so upset that I have to spend my holy hours or entire Mass offering it up for the abuses alone.

But I have learned with my temperment it is far better for me to pray and then maybe send a quick email, like just as a reminder; type email being kind yet still letting the priest know that the abuse has occured.

The worst abuse was when my daughter came home from a diocesan school and told me how after communion the teachers would go outside and throw the precious blood on the lawn.

Needless to say for that one I did make an appointment and talked to the priest, with suggestions for the children learning reverence to the Eucharist and then I stated what my daughter had been told by the other classmates. The priest did take care of that.

But I have learned that I must pick my battles.

Toni–Were you right that the teachers threw consecrated wine on the lawy? That sounds too bizarre to be true.

Also, I cringe when you use the word “abuse” to refer to these situations. Unfortunately, the word “abuse” has come to mean sexual abuse in our culture and about our Church. So perhaps a less loaded word would convey what you mean without the negative connotations of “abuse”. Perhaps “sacrilege”, “outrage”, or other?

 

[mark_a]

Fitz:

…I had a daughter deployed for 7 months this year, and most churches I went to never prayed for our troops but many prayed for peace and the Iraqis. I guess I listened differently than most.

Since your daughter was there, you have more reason to be upset than I do, so I’m just going to back off.

 

[Riley259]

Yes, I’m angry and saddened by priests who openly dissent from the teachings of the Catholic church.

 

[Augustine]

mark a:

Assuming he’s speaking of average Americans, I’m not sure he’s wrong.

I agree. Iraqis were being murdered at a rate of tens of thousands per year and nobody cared. As a matter of fact, people went to protest unintentional deaths. That’s bizzare…

 

[workinprogress8]

I’ve been mad at a priest who always talks politics during mass.

 

[Toni]

La Chiara:

Toni–Were you right that the teachers threw consecrated wine on the lawy? That sounds too bizarre to be true.

Also, I cringe when you use the word “abuse” to refer to these situations. Unfortunately, the word “abuse” has come to mean sexual abuse in our culture and about our Church. So perhaps a less loaded word would convey what you mean without the negative connotations of “abuse”. Perhaps “sacrilege”, “outrage”, or other?

Outrage, sacrilege abuse, at this point I have seen to many to keep changing names, but this happened when my 23 year old daughter was in 8th grade so as sacrilegious as it was back then and still today I apoligize for the simple word of abuse.
But after speaking to the Priest there is some sort of container in the ground outside, since then things have changed the church was added onto and they put that special sink in the sacristy. I am still not sure that any of this is exceptable.

 

[Fitz]

work(name removed by moderator)rogress8:

I’ve been mad at a priest who always talks politics during mass.

What are his politics?

 

[Fitz]

mark a:

Since your daughter was there, you have more reason to be upset than I do, so I’m just going to back off.

Mark, you don’t have to back off how you feel I was just saying what I experienced. When I traveled outside of Illinois, the priests prayed for our troops. The church I go to most of the time, didn’t. I posted about this when I first joined the forums because it upset me. I was too emotional about my daughter being in danger to go to the priest to complain or debate. I did not trust my emotions. However, I always wrote down my intentions in the book in back of church. I know all my family and friends were praying.

I don’t think Americans are unfeeling about the Iraqis in general. I know sometimes we feel deadened by the sadness and sometimes the hopelessnes we feel. I know many that have donated to Iraqi schools, etc.

I also know the church is divided on the issue of the war.

My original post here, however, encompases more than that. The priest I sent a dissenting letter to writes in our paper weekly and he is not in line with the Pope on many issues. He wrote this week that he was aligned with the Pope’s position on the war. I think he is being a cafeteria catholic. You decide, here’s the link:
suntimes.com/index/greeley.html

 

[mark_a]

Fitz:

I also know the church is divided on the issue of the war.

Thanks for the thoughtful reply.

First, let me say that after years of apathy about Church teachings (mostly morals) that I have learned the hard way to be obedient to the Church. In the past, I’ve been wrong too many times when I was sure the Church was the one that was wrong. Even when I don’t completely understand an issue or have some emotional reservations, I submit.

I’m pretty apathetic about non-theological politics, but- the impression I get from many Catholic Bush supporters is that they will tow the party line no matter what, as long as he is correct concerning the abortion issue.

I wonder how many fewer posts there would be in support of the Iraq war if Bush were pro-choice and Kerry were pro-life.

Respectfully,

Mark

ps- Before any reader sends me a letter bomb, please know that I am anti-abortion.

 

[Princess_Abby]

hmm…that’s interesting. Andrew Greeley is also a fictional author who has written some rather secular books, many of which include the typical “love scenes” that cause many to have impure thoughts or adultery in their heart.

very unfortunate. i’ve been bothered by him myself before.

Fitz,

my heart is with you…i’m not sure what your position is on the war, but my 23-year-old brother is an NBC marine in special forces and I pray every day for his safety…he hasn’t been called yet, but it is such a waiting game. nearly every single one of his friends from bootcamp and in other divisons have been called over with their individual companies/platoons. my mother is CONSUMED by the news, always looking for insight as to whether or not my brother may be next. if it happens…when it happens?..i will be a mess. i can cry just thinking about it.

and yet, my brother’s attitude (even though he has a nine month old baby girl he would be leaving behind) is simply, “I have brothers in the corps over there fighting…I can’t and will not ever shirk my duty to assist them, no matter what the personal cost. We all fight for the greater good.”

i do outreach here with some families whose sons and daughters are over in iraq right now. the letters home bring me to tears. each one begs their family to pray for them…to pray for peace…to pray for the suffering of the iraqis…the troops themselves…the despair that some soldiers give into (suicide)… they talk of missions they’ve survived, many of which they were told they wouldn’t survive…and yet they still carry on…and very few lose all their hope… they simply do their job and pray for a safe return.

my mother talks to a friend of my brother’s, a marine, who is stationed in fallujah. he doesn’t have any family, was orphaned as a young boy. he’s very brave, and quite cheerful even though the only people who write him are my mother and sisters, women he hasn’t ever met before. (i can’t imagine sitting in a war zone and wondering if i don’t come back, will anyone remember me? miss me?) he joined the military to pay for school. he calls my mom on a satellite phone every two weeks and talks to her for sometimes hours. two nights ago he mentioned that they’re all undergoing psychological testing, the results of which indicate that 97% of marines have seen a civilian killed, an enemy killed and a fellow solider killed. wow. these kids aren’t just giving their time, they’re giving their emotional and physical and spiritual selves. these experiences CHANGE who they are. i always pray that each soldier comes back with physical AND emotional health. many of us can’t imagine what it would be like to see ANYONE shot or killed…and yet these guys and girls are witnessing it daily.

sometimes i sit and think about my brother, his unique character and absolute hilarity in even the most serious of situations. i think about his baby girl, a little beauty who resembles him so closely. i remember back to our childhood, playing hide and go seek, kick the can, red rover. i remember sitting in the hospital, so sick, waiting for him to come and cheer me up with his antics. and i think about all the american boys and girls over there who fight each day, living in constant danger, never resting with any sense of safety. i guess i grieve because i know that like my brother, they all have their personal stories and originality. just as i would be rendered inconsolable if something were to happen to him, families across america and the world experience that loss daily.

CONTINUED…

 

[Princess_Abby]

continued from above…

i cringe even considering the world no longer having someone as bright, HILARIOUS and enthusiastic as my little brother–and i think about the fallen soldiers whose stories have ended in a chaos that to many of us, simply doesn’t make sense. i am sometimes all too aware of the families whose suffering seems to go unnoticed, their sacrifice barely acknowledged by the rest of us.

i just want you to know, Fitz, that i DO think about the troops over there serving our country. they are all heroes. even though i’ll never know many of their personal stories, they’ll remain in my heart as special and brave individuals who were much more courageous than i could ever hope to be. they truly emobdy, for me, the lesson of laying down one’s life for a friend.

i am still praying for the courage to be able to pray this: that if my brother is called, i can be as generous with his precious life as other families have been in giving up their loved ones for a greater good. i’m just not there quite yet. I love him so much!

 

[LauraL]

I’ve been angry with my former pastor many many times. I left that parish in part over my deteriorating respect for him (but only in part, there were other, better reasons).

I played for a funeral in another diocese several months ago and asked the priest who celebrated if I could make confession while I was there. Of course, my major concern was my growing antipathy toward my then-pastor. This kind and self-sacrificing priest counselled me – I don’t think that I’m violating anything by this, the way I’m keeping everything anonymous – that Catholics don’t realize how MUCH their priest needs their prayers, that one of the greatest temptations priests face is a love of power.

Having said that, I need to reiterate something that another participant stated above: when you write a letter of complaint to a priest, you should copy it to the bishop. I have been counselled to copy it to the Vicar General of the diocese, too. Some say the papal nuncio should also be copied then; others say wait a reasonable period of time – say, a couple of weeks – and if you don’t get a response from the diocesan level or if you receive a totally inadequate response, then forward a copy with a cover letter explaining that you have received no response, or that you are dissatisfied with the answer, from your initial letter.

Your letter should be courteous and it should detail as specifically as possible what you are offended by. In the case of a priest writing a column for a local paper, I would enclose a copy of the particular column in your cc to the appropriate authorities.Your letter should be courteous and you should avoid weighted words like “jerk,” “megalomaniac,” etc. as well as sarcasm or anything that might be construed as sarcasm.

SIGN YOUR LETTER. In the case of my former pastor, I know from someone I discussed the matter with that our diocese has received numerous letters of complaint about him, but too many are sent anonymously. Those are forwarded to the pastor as a matter of form, but they are not taken very seriously.

Keep copies of EVERYTHING.

Pray.

Hope this helps!

 

[Fergal]

Of course I have been angry with some Priests. It iften happened when the deliberatly usurped the Holy Mass of skipped off instead of hearing confessions. Jesus did get angry too when the house of God was turned into a den of theives.

It used to distract me during the Mass and then I asked the Lord what I should do. He led me to restful waters and rvived my drooping spirit.

Now Peace has returned once again. I don’t get angry. I trun to the Lord and ask him to forgive what they are doing simply because they do not now what they are doing. If they did they would not do it.

Thinking like this set my soul at peace again.