Have you ever been temporarily "sociopathic"?

[contramundum7]

We can all be like those people we dislike, those “evil” ones who don’t believe and/or behave exactly as we do…

I am wondering if anyone would like to confess??

My confession (one of them…):

This person used to be in my life… We were good friends until this person started acting weird (long story)… wouldn’t let me be my true self, etc… Now, sometimes i feel i cannot pray for - and even despise - this person (though i force myself to say “God bless—”).

i sometimes feel “sociopathic” toward this person and a few others…

 

[4loveofJesus]

May God’s peace, love and mercy be with you!

Our Good Lord Jesus has taught us in the prayer “Our Father” to forgive those who have trespassed against us. There is a saying “To err is human but to forgive is divine”. It is true because left to our own accord we are not able to forgive but only with the grace of God that we are able to. We know when we have truly forgiven those who have offended us when we are able to pray for them for the good and salvation of their souls.

In times like these, when it is most difficult to forgive and forget, let us look at the Cross and imitate Our Good Lord Jesus, Who was crucified and died for our sins. He Who chose to forgive and never despise.

May we all continuously ask Our Good Lord Jesus to help us that we may truly forgive so that divine peace, love, joy,healing, forgiveness, reconciliation will reign in each and every hearts of all mankind. God bless!

Blessed be Jesus and Mary!

 

[JLSacred]

What an interesting title. Yes, I think we all have a little bit, or a lot, of a sociopath in us. It’s the part of ourselves that is only for ourselves, and doesn’t really care about others. A sociopath lacks empathy for others, and we’re all guilty of that at times.

 

[leonie]

If it is a matter of empathy, I guess I’m guilty. I often feel just annoyed that people in my life cause themselves problems.

I think there is a difference between lack of empathy and sociopathy. Emotion is not evil. I can feel annoyed with certain people that their actions have brought themselves grief, but I’d never manipulate them to exploit it for my own gain.

I think the big problem I’m having with sociopathy is defining it.

 

[JLSacred]

Someone here recomended a book called The Sociopath Next Door. It’s supposed to be about how to deal with the average, Joe Blow sociopath, who looks like a regular person. We might run into them at work or elsewhere. They appear normal, but are really devoid of a consience and don’t have a moral base.

My point is that we all have a little bit of that at times. That’s probably the basis for sin. But a true sociopath must do it all the time, that’s my guess.

 

[b_justb]

[quote=dictionary.com]sociopath: a person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.
[/quote]

No, I have never been temporarily sociopathic. I’m pretty sure y’all ain’t never been neigther.

People annoy us but we get over it, well except for that one time I climbed that water tower. But I’m better now.

 

[contramundum7]

May God’s peace, love and mercy be with you!

Our Good Lord Jesus has taught us in the prayer “Our Father” to forgive those who have trespassed against us. There is a saying “To err is human but to forgive is divine”. It is true because left to our own accord we are not able to forgive but only with the grace of God that we are able to. We know when we have truly forgiven those who have offended us when we are able to pray for them for the good and salvation of their souls.

In times like these, when it is most difficult to forgive and forget, let us look at the Cross and imitate Our Good Lord Jesus, Who was crucified and died for our sins. He Who chose to forgive and never despise.

May we all continuously ask Our Good Lord Jesus to help us that we may truly forgive so that divine peace, love, joy,healing, forgiveness, reconciliation will reign in each and every hearts of all mankind. God bless!

Blessed be Jesus and Mary!

I have found it is easy to “forgive” but not so easy to, as Matthew 18:23 says, “forgive your brothers from your heart.” One thing that helps me (probably what helps me the most) is remembering MY OWN SINS, the ones i want the Lord to totally forgive me of (wipe out the entire debt, as that passage says).
i had a “sociopathic moment” earlier today. I called this store to ask if they had some item i had been looking all over for. The person put me on hold for a long time. I hung up, called back, same thing happened. I called several times, getting the same thing & got angrier and angrier. I already had the beginnings of a headache & it was getting worse…I finally got through to the supervisor and complained bitterly… The sociopathic thing was that i hated those people for “messing me around” like that, seemingly deliberately. The incident triggered all the hurt/pain i had deep inside, a result of the times in the past when people have messed me around…(we all have sociopaths in our lives, don’t we??). I even got angry at God during this “tantrum”… not so much 4 the store thing, but for all the bigger things that are wrong w/ my life right now… I realized i was making a deliberate choice to keep calling the store when i could have chosen ot do any number of more productive things… but i deliberately made that choice to “waste time” because i was angry @ God & tired of trying to always do the “Right” thing like not waste time. Lately, it seems that i don’t even know what the so-called right thing is anymore (except for known mortal sins…). I mean, i don’t know what God wants me to do about this one thing in particular and its driving me wacko… no, more wacko… by the day (long story). Anyway… it would be comforting to hear from someone who has gone through similar things… Does every Christian evnetually get angry @ God?
I used 2 feel very guilty after one of these “angry at God” episodes, but this time, i just said, “To heck w/ that… What good does it do to feel guilty?? God probably doesn’t even care how i feel anyway.” I know that is not true, but I am not doing too well these days and i do sometimes feel that God doesn’t care. In any case, i just gave the whole thing up (to God??? - just in case he “wanted” it or soemthing…) but i gave it up even more because, well, I didn’t feel i had any #$%%^& choice… . Anyway, i think my headache is getting worse…
“Are we there yet?”:crying:

 

[cpayne]

“Temporarily”?

 

[contramundum7]

Someone here recomended a book called The Sociopath Next Door. It’s supposed to be about how to deal with the average, Joe Blow sociopath, who looks like a regular person. We might run into them at work or elsewhere. They appear normal, but are really devoid of a consience and don’t have a moral base.

My point is that we all have a little bit of that at times. That’s probably the basis for sin. But a true sociopath must do it all the time, that’s my guess.

Yeah, that’s what i’m thinking. I read that book. I didn’t like the way the author was pro-abortion. She also seemed to be overly concerned for animals (as victims of sociopaths) over people who were (aren’t most pro-abortion people like that??? ). Anyway… i didn’t used to believe this, but i do now: sociopathy is a reaction to abuse/neglect (extreme). I have known a few and when u delve into their backgrounds, that’s what u find… That is not an excuse, per se… but, well… It helps to understand…

 

[contramundum7]

“Temporarily”?

I guess if its temporary, its not really sociopathy??
Anyway, waht i mean is: Do you ever just not want to be good and feel that way for a long time?? :whacky: :banghead: uch: :juggle:

 

[Island_Oak]

“Temporarily”?

…does “the last 30 years” qualify as temporarily?!
As Ouiser Boudreaux in the movie, Steel Magnolias observed: I’m not crazy, I’ve just been a very bad mood for the last 40 years!

 

[JLSacred]

…does “the last 30 years” qualify as temporarily?!
As Ouiser Boudreaux in the movie, Steel Magnolias observed: I’m not crazy, I’ve just been a very bad mood for the last 40 years!

 

[4loveofJesus]

May God’s peace, love and mercy be with you all!

God loves you! He knows and understands the struggles in your daily life. He wants us to constantly open ourselves up to his Love, to His Most Holy Will…to surrender ALL.

Living a Christian life, doing the right thing always, is never easy. Look at what happened to Jesus, Our God, He was put to death even though He is God and was sinless.

Jesus asks us to carry our cross and follow Him. To be faithful to Him not only in moments of joys and abundance but in our loneliness, in our sufferings, in our sorrows, during the most difficult times of our lives. Let us imitate Our Blessed Mother who remained faithful to Our Good Lord Jesus, and stayed with Him at the foot of the Cross.

Frequent reception of the sacraments of the eucharist and confession are very helpful in strengthening us, helping us overcome sins. It helps us realize what sin truly is whether it’s venial or mortal- an offense to God Who Is All Good, and deserving of all our love. Jesus, Our God, infuses us with all the graces as we receive those sacraments with contrite heart.

There is always a purpose for everything and with God’s Infinite Wisdom, He has the Perfect plan, to improve our virtue, to see whether we will stay faithful to Him in difficult times of our lives, all for His greater honor and glory.

Let us always see the cup half full instead of half empty in that way we live a life of gratitude, a life of thanksgiving, a life of love, a truly Eucharistic way of Christian life. God bless!

Blessed be Jesus and Mary!

 

[chevalier]

i had a “sociopathic moment” earlier today. I called this store to ask if they had some item i had been looking all over for. The person put me on hold for a long time. I hung up, called back, same thing happened. I called several times, getting the same thing & got angrier and angrier. I already had the beginnings of a headache & it was getting worse…I finally got through to the supervisor and complained bitterly… The sociopathic thing was that i hated those people for “messing me around” like that, seemingly deliberately.

Apart from hating, I think that wasn’t an unnatural reaction. It feels somehow humble and saintly to ignore such things, but on the other hand, reporting such things might help improve their client service and make sure they won’t mistreat other customers like that. Of course, you may want to bring it up on their own level first and the management only later and only if they ignore you, but I can imagine some people would say it’s even a duty to report such things, basing on some arguments that aren’t really coming to my head right now.

I realized i was making a deliberate choice to keep calling the store when i could have chosen ot do any number of more productive things… but i deliberately made that choice to “waste time” because i was angry @ God & tired of trying to always do the “Right” thing like not waste time. Lately, it seems that i don’t even know what the so-called right thing is anymore (except for known mortal sins…).

I think I’ve recently heard a priest preaching about the desire to keep doing things the same way as the first time, all until it finally worked, instead of adjusting the approach. I fall into the same patterns the most often during some online multiplayer games I play on my own (as in 1v1 and not in a team, where relations are healthier) and it looks like I’m losing to a much less skilled opponent or because of luck or because of unfair tactics or because of poor programming in the game resulting in some technical glitches or other issues which occur even though I am doing things right. Instead of making some quick adjustments and lying low for the time being, I tend to push things aggressively the same way over and over until I lose. Sometimes, it happens in competitive circumstances in normal life, such as debating the same issues over and over until they are resolved - and sometimes they can’t be. I don’t think it’s anger clouding my mind, but it’s some kind of emotional reaction.

Anyway… i didn’t used to believe this, but i do now: sociopathy is a reaction to abuse/neglect (extreme). I have known a few and when u delve into their backgrounds, that’s what u find… That is not an excuse, per se… but, well… It helps to understand…

Hmm. Well, there are various degrees of antisocial behaviours, habits, disorders. Then there’s sociopathy. But I think I see as more of a scale than a couple of points. Probably almost everyone has some quirks that are hard to take for other people. And abuse does strange things to its victims. Many antisocial behaviours come from distrust or some feeling or fear of being wronged, I think. Or rejection.

 

[chevalier]

But to address your titular question, in my own case, there’s that distrust towards any and all organisations, committees etc spontaneously formed at the lows by citizens gathering up for some reasons. As a child, I was much more intelligent then the rest, and it wasn’t just intelligence, anyway. There was no special curriculum for overachievers or anything like that, so whatever I did above the required basically went to waste and the smallest (objectively) misstep was a disaster, to the point of getting told off for a C grade home and already sensing resentment for getting a B. Even simple A’s without honours or anything were sometimes a source of disappointment in my family, whereas as I said, I generally had the feeling of a lot going to waste. I suffered a lot from this double standard and it was especially painful when I had to act on par with my peers and was supposed to play by their majority rules, to adjust to the average, to find amusing what they found amusing, to engage in the same games, like the same kind of music, and all, whereas most of it felt childish to me, or crude, or simply dumb. Then the whole democracy thing, votes and whatnot. I hated that.

Also, there were lies and inconsistencies and general hypocrisy and selfishness in the people around, and I couldn’t really deal with it. Kids provoking incidents and then lying about them… I would play the game and quickly learn it better than they did, but it was never my world and they would run me into inhbitions I couldn’t overcome while they didn’t have much problem with it. Teachers breaking promises, lying about the facts of their disputes with students, students not being allowed and even being punished for contradicting a teacher, with no investigation of facts. Teachers playing the judge between students and deciding with no investigation but just deciding to which student to give faith, often basing that faith on their relationships with the kid’s parents and knowing them or knowing the kid. Parents coming to school and repeating their children’s lies. Teachers believing that… I quickly learnt my rights, not like they really helped that much, I never gave up, I ended up the enemy of the system and always an outsider. That outsider mentality is with me always, until now even.

At some point, I actually lost the benefit of superior intelligence and zeal and ability to learn. I just didn’t care anymore. I had my occasional sparks in highschool, where I actually made some memory and some name, then also at university, but it’s nowhere near to what was expected. But I don’t care and my ambition is a thing of the past, I mostly just want to be left alone, have some comfortable living, perhaps with a family, if not then be allowed to lose myself in my fantasy/science-fiction books and computer games, when not dealing with matters, getting social, helping people, praying, working, well, you get the idea. The distrust towards such organisations remains. I had an obsession with the legitimacy of an authority (I was even a monarchist a couple of years ago still), I don’t anymore and if they can be useful and harm no one… but I still have a problem with a couple Joes assembling and naming themselves a committee responsible for something no one gave them responsibility for. I have a problem with the whole laity affirmation action that seems to be going on in the Church as well, and when canon law or GIRM or other norms are being crossed, I go banzai. I have a sense for that, actually. As a law student (graduating this spring or summer, hence I just sometimes simply say I’m a lawyer to save some room), I’m also peculiar in that I have an intuition that way surpasses my law intellect. Sense of justice kind of. I can also spot liars like there’s no tomorrow. I’ve even caught people at saying something in contradiction with what they said several months before, and that’s people to whom I talked daily, not people for whom several months before was simply the previous conversation. Sometimes I wonder if, when people are being inconsistent or hesistant or avoidant, I don’t realise it before they do. Talk of a pet peeve. Another pet peeve of mine is making up rules. I also have a tremendous sense for that, oh do I. And I won’t shut up about it. At school, I had my “conduct” grades lowered consistently for pointing out respectfully, “madam/sir, you have promised something different,” or, “madam/sir, I believe the facts were…” and so on.

 

[chevalier]

So, I guess to some extent I qualify for sociopathic in your understanding, don’t I? Not temporarily though, it’s quite permanent. It just doesn’t always trigger, or in all situations. It’s just that, let’s say in relationships, I realise the other person has a problem before he or she does, then I stick by it despite denial until it actually turns out in most cases that I was right. The whole sense for inconsistencies, lies, illusions, hypocrisy and fake rules, is taxing on me. My life could perhaps be easier without it. Then again, I don’t quite want to give it away.

Some say I don’t allow people their human weaknesses. That’s not true. I don’t harbour negative feelings towards persons, I just dwell on hurts and I try not to do that, actually, anyway. I forgive anyway, and the sooner if I’m apologised to, especially if there’s some form of making up for it. I don’t make fuss if it’s owned up to, recognised as a mistake or a wrong act, instead of ignored, waved away, let alone supported. I try my best to apply the same measure to myself and other people. But well, I guess I far deviate from the society’s standard of dealing with hypocrisy, lies, inconsistency, fake rules (by those who have no right to make them) or unjust ones (by those who have the right, but abuse it), and my sense for it is quite morbid. So yep, once again, you could call me a sociopath if you really wanted. Especially as I’m quite the lone nerd and the freelancer - I generally get chosen to lead, direct or advise, and I do it well, but I’m more efficient alone than cooperating with a number of people, especially on an equal footing - and I don’t consider the perceived benefits of teamwork to outweigh the actualy benefits of a better result of solitary work, especially given that credits being unjustly shared sort of annoy my sense of justice. So, yeah, sociopathic to some extent. But I don’t believe ends justify means, which is one of the necessary elements of sociopathy, I think. I’ve been accused of cruelty, but that’s mostly been when sticking to a moral principle or the truth of facts and being unwilling to make a concession for the sake of convenience, so ultimately the right thing to do, except maybe for the manner of execution.

Okay, enough of me lest me turn into a Mary Sue. But you were asking, no? Thanks for giving me the opportunity to gather my thoughts about it, by the way. It was required of us at some sort of Lenten retreat. We’re supposed to identify such issues and ask God for healing from them.

 

[Eliza10]

…This person used to be in my life… We were good friends until this person started acting weird (long story)… wouldn’t let me be my true self, etc… Now, sometimes i feel i cannot pray for - and even despise - this person (though i force myself to say “God bless—”).

i sometimes feel “sociopathic” toward this person and a few others…

I wondered what was meant by this title but I see really your problem is a common one!

My ex-husband of nearly twenty years marraige betrayed and turned really mean and false and aggressive when he decided to divorce. I guess he was always bad but he cranked it up at the end, which made a hard thing harder, and worst, he used falsehoods to try to take my son away. (After much expense, I hung onto him!)

I confessed to a good priest that I had a hard time praying for him, even though I knew I was supposed to. The priest told me to pray three Hail Mary’s for him every day. That did not seem so hard to obey, and I must obey the Priest’s direction in confession, who is standing in for Christ. So I do, and I add to that my prayer to Mary: to pray for him with *Her *mostperfect, pure, heart, not mine, wounded by his affronts against it.

I know this has kept me from the sociopathic directions of which you speak. Perhaps unforgiveness is at the heart of much socipathic behavior.

 

[contramundum7]

I wondered what was meant by this title but I see really your problem is a common one!

My ex-husband of nearly twenty years marraige betrayed and turned really mean and false and aggressive when he decided to divorce. I guess he was always bad but he cranked it up at the end, which made a hard thing harder, and worst, he used falsehoods to try to take my son away. (After much expense, I hung onto him!)

I confessed to a good priest that I had a hard time praying for him, even though I knew I was supposed to. The priest told me to pray three Hail Mary’s for him every day. That did not seem so hard to obey, and I must obey the Priest’s direction in confession, who is standing in for Christ. So I do, and I add to that my prayer to Mary: to pray for him with *Her *mostperfect, pure, heart, not mine, wounded by his affronts against it.

I know this has kept me from the sociopathic directions of which you speak. Perhaps unforgiveness is at the heart of much socipathic behavior.

Yes, i totally agree that unforgiveness is probably at the heart of sociopathy.
I was actually trying to find another Poster who didn’t seem all that enthused about my idea that sociopathology results from abuse… (though he/she didn’t totally disagree…). But anyway, it still comes down to what happens to a person in childhood/adolescence… The young boy mentioned in another post who was normal and then turned sociopathic… For one thing, he had been exposed at an early age to a very sociiopathic person… Even still, he was normal until he underwent the extreme trauma of being separated from his family members… Again, please pray for him and for all victims of child abuse… (the state abuses children sometimes much worse than the natural parents allegedly do…),
Anyway, thanks for the added dimension as to why s-p’s are as they are…
I think they probably just refuse to forgive the entire human race… I can relate to that… and yet, well, maybe Jesus is the only thing standing between me and sociopathy… In fact, I know that is true…

 

[contramundum7]

Apart from hating, I think that wasn’t an unnatural reaction. It feels somehow humble and saintly to ignore such things, but on the other hand, reporting such things might help improve their client service and make sure they won’t mistreat other customers like that. Of course, you may want to bring it up on their own level first and the management only later and only if they ignore you, but I can imagine some people would say it’s even a duty to report such things, basing on some arguments that aren’t really coming to my head right now.

I think I’ve recently heard a priest preaching about the desire to keep doing things the same way as the first time, all until it finally worked, instead of adjusting the approach. I fall into the same patterns the most often during some online multiplayer games I play on my own (as in 1v1 and not in a team, where relations are healthier) and it looks like I’m losing to a much less skilled opponent or because of luck or because of unfair tactics or because of poor programming in the game resulting in some technical glitches or other issues which occur even though I am doing things right. Instead of making some quick adjustments and lying low for the time being, I tend to push things aggressively the same way over and over until I lose. Sometimes, it happens in competitive circumstances in normal life, such as debating the same issues over and over until they are resolved - and sometimes they can’t be. I don’t think it’s anger clouding my mind, but it’s some kind of emotional reaction.
Hmm. Well, there are various degrees of antisocial behaviours, habits, disorders. Then there’s sociopathy. But I think I see as more of a scale than a couple of points. Probably almost everyone has some quirks that are hard to take for other people. And abuse does strange things to its victims. Many antisocial behaviours come from distrust or some feeling or fear of being wronged, I think. Or rejection.

Actually, i underwent a change in my way of dealing with such problems (as a result of the aforementioned incident)… You kind of put it into words when you said soemthing about adjusting to a [different] approach… or something like that… I think what happened was i overcame a certain amount of (over)scrupulosity… I mean, its true that it IS a sin to waste time, but i don’t think God will throw me into Hell (or 200 years of Purgatory…) if I decide to stay on the phone and resolve such a matter as opposed to finding something more “consturctive” to do…
I ended up saying to the store supervisor (concerning my ill-treatment): “Well, at least i know how Jesus felt when He was on the Cross” [namely: HATED and deliberately mistreated…] uch: Who knows?? Maybe that’s why God allowed the whole hting to happen? I mean, you just never know. Maybe that guy needed to hear those words at that particular time… [Hey - I’m CAtholic, i have to see God’s hand in every little thing… ]

 

[contramundum7]

So, I guess to some extent I qualify for sociopathic in your understanding, don’t I? Not temporarily though, it’s quite permanent. It just doesn’t always trigger, or in all situations. It’s just that, let’s say in relationships, I realise the other person has a problem before he or she does, then I stick by it despite denial until it actually turns out in most cases that I was right. The whole sense for inconsistencies, lies, illusions, hypocrisy and fake rules, is taxing on me. My life could perhaps be easier without it. Then again, I don’t quite want to give it away.

Some say I don’t allow people their human weaknesses. That’s not true. I don’t harbour negative feelings towards persons, I just dwell on hurts and I try not to do that, actually, anyway. I forgive anyway, and the sooner if I’m apologised to, especially if there’s some form of making up for it. I don’t make fuss if it’s owned up to, recognised as a mistake or a wrong act, instead of ignored, waved away, let alone supported. I try my best to apply the same measure to myself and other people. But well, I guess I far deviate from the society’s standard of dealing with hypocrisy, lies, inconsistency, fake rules (by those who have no right to make them) or unjust ones (by those who have the right, but abuse it), and my sense for it is quite morbid. So yep, once again, you could call me a sociopath if you really wanted. Especially as I’m quite the lone nerd and the freelancer - I generally get chosen to lead, direct or advise, and I do it well, but I’m more efficient alone than cooperating with a number of people, especially on an equal footing - and I don’t consider the perceived benefits of teamwork to outweigh the actualy benefits of a better result of solitary work, especially given that credits being unjustly shared sort of annoy my sense of justice. So, yeah, sociopathic to some extent. But I don’t believe ends justify means, which is one of the necessary elements of sociopathy, I think. I’ve been accused of cruelty, but that’s mostly been when sticking to a moral principle or the truth of facts and being unwilling to make a concession for the sake of convenience, so ultimately the right thing to do, except maybe for the manner of execution.

Okay, enough of me lest me turn into a Mary Sue. But you were asking, no? Thanks for giving me the opportunity to gather my thoughts about it, by the way. It was required of us at some sort of Lenten retreat. We’re supposed to identify such issues and ask God for healing from them.