Have you ever been temporarily "sociopathic"?

[contramundum7]

contramundum7:
You don’t sound sociopathic to me. I am the same as you, as far as being able to pick out inconsistencies, hypocracies, etc… Yet, i try not to judge people for such inconsistencies (not saying that you do) because, for one thing, i see those same inconsistencies in myself. For instance, i hate lying. But i do understand it when a person tells a lie for some good reason (I have no sympathy 4 pathological liars who lie when they don’t even have to… habitual liars…). The problem is, none of us can ever tell, absolutely speaking, whether an given person has a perfectly valid reason to lie or not. There was the situation mentioned in another Post of a woman who had been terrorized by a psychopathic “boyfriend” and when she moved, she lied about her new address because she was afraid of him finding her (even though she’d gone to extremes to make sure that didn’t happen). Most people, who didn’t know her history would be very upset with her (judge her, etc.) for “lying” yet she did so to protect herself… (He had threatened to kill her, etc…).
This is one reason Jesus told us not to judge (condemn) people. We just don’t have all the facts like HE does…
Anyway, i know this one person i tend to call sociopathic and you said something that reminded me of him - the thing about being accused of not accepting others’ human weaknesses. It could be that, if this does describe you (or does in the eyes of others?), it is because no one ever really accepted YOUR human weaknesses and/or your unique-ness (etc)… It sounds like (& admittedly, i have only your Post to go by…) you have never really been able to effectively channel all your talents, gifts, etc. or not very well, and that may have been the fault of your parents who maybe didn’t give you sufficient structure, stability (?) or what have you… Of course, we can’t get angry at parents because they are only human beings and babies, as they say, don’t come with an instruction manual…
Anyway, i am running out of time, so i will let it go at that but i will pray for you. One thing i pray is that you find (if you haven’t already) a niche for your talents. Actually, the law is probably the perfect place 4 u so that prayer has probably already been answered. God bless.

 

[contramundum7]

Apart from hating, I think that wasn’t an unnatural reaction. It feels somehow humble and saintly to ignore such things, but on the other hand, reporting such things might help improve their client service and make sure they won’t mistreat other customers like that. Of course, you may want to bring it up on their own level first and the management only later and only if they ignore you, but I can imagine some people would say it’s even a duty to report such things, basing on some arguments that aren’t really coming to my head right now.

I think I’ve recently heard a priest preaching about the desire to keep doing things the same way as the first time, all until it finally worked, instead of adjusting the approach. I fall into the same patterns the most often during some online multiplayer games I play on my own (as in 1v1 and not in a team, where relations are healthier) and it looks like I’m losing to a much less skilled opponent or because of luck or because of unfair tactics or because of poor programming in the game resulting in some technical glitches or other issues which occur even though I am doing things right. Instead of making some quick adjustments and lying low for the time being, I tend to push things aggressively the same way over and over until I lose. Sometimes, it happens in competitive circumstances in normal life, such as debating the same issues over and over until they are resolved - and sometimes they can’t be. I don’t think it’s anger clouding my mind, but it’s some kind of emotional reaction.

Hmm. Well, there are various degrees of antisocial behaviours, habits, disorders. Then there’s sociopathy. But I think I see as more of a scale than a couple of points. Probably almost everyone has some quirks that are hard to take for other people. And abuse does strange things to its victims. Many antisocial behaviours come from distrust or some feeling or fear of being wronged, I think. Or rejection.

In a way, it can be said that everyone is a victim of abuse… neglect - just some worse than others… I mean, there was only one perfect family and none of us had the good fortune of being a member. Whatever a person goes through affects him/her even when/if the person doesn’t realize it… or doesn’t FULLY realize it…
We are all “fearfully and wonderfully made”…
I once made an effort to understand myself (so i wouldn’t make the same stupid mistakes). i did this through prayer, journaling, etc… but in the end, well, i got some insights and it was helpful to do that and i believe everyone should do that kind of thing, but in the end, as concerns some aspects of my personality, i really don’t have a clue… or not much more than a clue anyway… .
This is why we should not condemn ourselves… We do not always know why we do the things we do or think/feel the way we do…
Being made in God’s image and yet having to live in a very un-Godly, uncaring, materialistic world is enough, by itself, to do very strange things to our heads and hearts…

 

[chevalier]

I know this has kept me from the sociopathic directions of which you speak. Perhaps unforgiveness is at the heart of much socipathic behavior.

That or unwillingness to let go. I find myself often suffering from things long forgotten. As if I can take a bullet for whomever did any single thing, but the sum total is the weight on my back every day. Then again, how real, how mature my forgiveness is, I don’t know. If I give up vengeance and wish them God’s grace and salvation and generally the best, is that enough, or does it still matter what remains? I suppose forgiveness is really there, but there are hurts. I’ve recently been to healing service (part of a retreat) intended for such hurts that remained even after the perpetrator was forgiven, or for helping to forgive if there was willingness but it didn’t work. I feel something going on in my life, although it’s not like I’m going to become a melancholic person no more and forget everything in days - although I just mean it’s not likely. God could do that and more if He so willed, if He had a reason to. Some part of it may be a part of my personality and identity and maybe even God’s plan. Suffering is a blessing, after all, and it teaches lessons. I don’t want to give up certain lessons, I don’t think God wants me to, and I’m not sure they can remain without suffering and not be forgotten, plus, who said life’s meant to be easy and generally, suffering is a part of what makes us human. But we’d better not grow into sociopaths, yes.

 

[chevalier]

Actually, i underwent a change in my way of dealing with such problems … Maybe that’s why God allowed the whole hting to happen? I mean, you just never know. Maybe that guy needed to hear those words at that particular time… [Hey - I’m CAtholic, i have to see God’s hand in every little thing… ]

(Snipped just to signify which post I’m referring to. )

Apart from the lessons I mentioned while replying to Eliza, I think I wouldn’t like to give up certain experiences of suffering. I mean, I do want to be healed of what’s patological in me, I don’t want gangrene, but I’m not sure I want to be devoid of wounds. I certainly wouldn’t like to become devoid of wounds losing all experience of suffering and becoming as compassionate as someone who has no idea what suffering is. Jesus never healed Himself of anything, although He couldn’t develop any form of personality disorder.

(Now the next post. )

I think I have more sympathy for habitual liars, who are miserable people who must be suffering a lot, than for those who think they are excused because of the goodness of their cause. I certainly would have sympathy for a person standing before the dilemma of either lying or giving up someone for death. Playing definitions does not ease the drama of such a situation. However, lying to build up a good cause, not to avoid disaster? Not my kind of thing. I think I’m too arrogant to do that, rather than too righteous, and my anger at it may not exactly be righteous anger, either.

I’ve had a personal experience with someone who was probably a habitual liar. The whole relationship was inextricably interwoven with a lie throughout the whole period. But she had suffered a lot before and suffered a lot during and probably afterwards do, of which something was at my hands, which is not changed by the fact of the lies. She could by no means be termed an evil person. In fact, she was probably a better Christian than I.

Well, in the case of the woman who lied to her boyfriend, there are two ways of looking at it: war and necessity. Necessity would be comparable to killing in self-defence. War would mean the more or less lawful operation of intelligence and counter-intelligence. Somehow we hate lying but we don’t mind our nations’ secret agents with fake IDs. Of course, there’s still the option of refusing to answer, but that one is not always seen. In some cases it might indeed not be sufficient.

Ah, thank you for looking at my talents and whatnot. I think that’s true… I don’t think I’ve had enough opportunity - which is majorly my own fault, due to my laziness, as well. On the other hand, I’ve got my part of scolding for those talents I did not have. I suppose I’ve had some of the subconscious conditioning leading to the subconscious idea that it’s not expedient to show weaknesses, but for a good number of recent years, I think it’s only certain weaknesses.

As for personality insights, well, journals are one thing, but when it comes to blogging, I think it isn’t always that healthy. Venting is helpful, I guess. Reading the work of a person with a light pen as we say here, someone who can write, well, that’s a nice thing to do. But I don’t like the blogging hype. Tests and quizzes? I’ve taken hundreds. Maybe thousands. And yeah, the part about not condemning ourselves. Sure, it’s not like any of us would choose damnation, though I guess considering oneself to be worthy of it is easier to achieve and not always a healthy kind.

Ah, the world. One of the most difficult things in our faith is that it sort of expects us to make peace with the world. On the one hand we are believed not to belong to it, on the other hand, give to Caesar’s what is Caesar’s and all. There was that Templar grandmaster who said, “I respond to a higher judgement.” Heaven knows how often it’s been resounding in my head. Suffice to say my remarks are less than charitable when there is a conflict between this justice and that justice. I make it unmistakingly clear there’s no process of choice - that is when it’s a conflict of duty, not when I give in to worldly temptations. I’m known for statements like I’ll happily die single if that’s the cost of not having premarital sex, for instance. The easiest examples, though there are others, such as telling very close people that I won’t lie for them, though in the latter case, I may be showing arrogance but probably little disdain. In this whole regard I might well be sociopathic, especially if we take the socio- as in the modern society with its values.

 

[distracted]

May God’s peace, love and mercy be with you all!

God loves you! He knows and understands the struggles in your daily life. He wants us to constantly open ourselves up to his Love, to His Most Holy Will…to surrender ALL.

Living a Christian life, doing the right thing always, is never easy. Look at what happened to Jesus, Our God, He was put to death even though He is God and was sinless.

Jesus asks us to carry our cross and follow Him. To be faithful to Him not only in moments of joys and abundance but in our loneliness, in our sufferings, in our sorrows, during the most difficult times of our lives. Let us imitate Our Blessed Mother who remained faithful to Our Good Lord Jesus, and stayed with Him at the foot of the Cross.

Frequent reception of the sacraments of the eucharist and confession are very helpful in strengthening us, helping us overcome sins. It helps us realize what sin truly is whether it’s venial or mortal- an offense to God Who Is All Good, and deserving of all our love. Jesus, Our God, infuses us with all the graces as we receive those sacraments with contrite heart.

There is always a purpose for everything and with God’s Infinite Wisdom, He has the Perfect plan, to improve our virtue, to see whether we will stay faithful to Him in difficult times of our lives, all for His greater honor and glory.

Let us always see the cup half full instead of half empty in that way we live a life of gratitude, a life of thanksgiving, a life of love, a truly Eucharistic way of Christian life. God bless!
Blessed be Jesus and Mary!

Even though i already “knew” most of what you say in your Post, I enjoyed “hearing” it again (and needed to). Thanks.
By the way, I love your “handle”. I am no spring chicken and i am just now learning the truth of that one thing you said about God having a perfect plan to "see whether we will stay faithful in difficult times, etc… I have had SO many difficult times… (still do ) and i have gotten angry at God so many times… when I thought i had gotten over that kind of thing, but just when i think i have, something else happesn… Anyway… I just accept my anger at God as a given… i have learned i can’t help feeling that way @ times. He is big enough 2 handle my anger . This is progress for me because i didn’t always accept being so human (“WANTED” 2b a Saint over-night…). uch: :whacky: :doh2: :angel1: