Have You Ever Entered Into A Dialogue With A Person Who is "Pan handling"?

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JamalChristophr

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I was pulling out of the parking lot of “Whole Foods” supermarket . (It’s a pretty expensive supermarket for those who don’t know, affectionately known as “whole paycheck”). Anyways, there was a woman standing there in her 30s who appeared to be fairly healthy looking and decently dressed, if that means antything. She had a sign that said something like “Disabled Mother- please help” something like that, anyways.

I’m always curious to know why they aren’t going through the system? I mean, I feel an inclination to help if I can in some way, and also, though I’m a big introvert and socially a bit anxious, to ask her about her life and why she’s there? etc etc.

Have you ever stopped to chat with them?

I suppose that is possible sometimes anyways. Surely one can’t always make generalizations about people who stand there asking for money. It does make me wonder if I need to find out why she is there in the first place. One would need to have good social skills for that, I think.
 
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Most conversations I’ve had with panhandlers were very brief. I couldn’t figure out why they were in the situation that they were. I just listened to some of their immediate concerns. These conversations could range from the sad (usual) to hilarious, like the guy who asked for money to, in his words, “Support marijuana research.” (This was in Boulder, CO near the university.)

With that said, I do prefer it when they’re open about the fact that they want money. They’re at least being honest. Others are a bit more deceptive and manipulative, sometimes in the hope of more long-term support. The first group is hoping people’s good will will move them to help. The latter group is just abusing what good will there is.
 
Very brief conversations. When it comes out that I can direct them to the resources they need, they get angry and tip their hand 😦
 
I’ve thought about doing a stake out on one of my days off since there seems to be quite the rotation going on at one particular spot that I pass going home from work.
 
This is kind of what I’m suspecting is most often the case. But I never know for sure. It’s awesome that you have made that effort though. 🙂 I would probably be a little anxious about upsetting them.

I would think it could be a very reinforcing thing to get get into once a person started to pan handle. I’ve heard the “pay” can be quite high sometimes.

I think I’d like to become more knowledgeable about all the resources a person can avail themselves of when they’re in material need. The Christ in the City missionaries have told me that, for one reason or another, there are a fair portion of people on the street that have “fallen through the cracks” in the system. One of their missions is to develop one on one relationships with the chronic homeless that they cultivate over time and seek to help them get connected with various kinds of assistance if they can. It’s a pretty neat missionary activity. Would be amazing if every urban area in the U.S. had some of these “Christ in the City” missionaries.
 
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There is a general sharing of a prime location by a number of persons, which seems fair.
 
I get that, I’m just a little fascinated on the inner workings of it all. Like I wonder what response an outsider would get if they showed up to the spot first. Its always the same 6-8 people, so I assume they all know each other.
 
Yeah, I don’t know. There would be a “scarcity of resources” that could be problematic. The good Catholic homeless persons should be willing to share, though. 🙂
 
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Occasionally I will talk with them, especially if I recognize them as a homeless person who is in the same place regularly. I’m more leery of ones standing outside a store with a sign or otherwise showing signs of being transient, as they are sometimes looking for somebody they can glom onto for more than just a quick donation, like they want to stay at your house or something. The homeless person who sleeps in a doorway is not going to ask or expect you to give him a ride or crash at your house.

I had a chat with a lady at Mass the other week who attended Mass and then started crying during the closing hymn while we were walking out. I asked her what was wrong and she proceeded to hit me up in the vestibule for money to get away from a domestic abuse situation which she described in very gory detail. I would add she was nicer dressed than I was and the details were so graphic they made it less believable. I ended up giving her the 14 bucks I had on me and told her “I don’t know if you’re running a scam or not but here’s the cash I have, just go get whatever you need.” She might have gone to buy drugs with it for all I know. We exchanged first names and she gave me a hug. I prayed a Divine Mercy for her. Haven’t been back to that church so not sure if she does this regularly or if she actually did leave the area as she said she was going to. Sometimes you just have to leave it in God’s hands. I also chatted with some panhandlers outside Midnight Mass at Christmas.
 
Occasionally.

Sometimes it’s a good conversation. Other times, there’s definitely mental illness at play. Sometimes it’s an opportunity to do a nice gesture for a fellow human being. Sometimes the gesture is appreciated, and sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes I’m taken advantage of, and I feel a little sad. But it’s not really important-- what’s important is that I do my part, because that’s what God will hold me accountable for. Whether or not they get the gain from the interaction that they’re supposed to— or if they waste it— is between them and God.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Very brief conversations. When it comes out that I can direct them to the resources they need, they get angry and tip their hand 😦
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I have conversations with homeless individuals quite often and I always try to direct them to local resources, when appropriate. Having been a social worker dealing specifically with the homeless population in my past, I have a very good idea of the resources that are available and the limitations of those resources.

I have never had anyone get angry with me. Usually, it seems as though they are happy enough to have somebody to share a kind word and a smile. Sometimes they want to tell their story; sometimes they just want money. Usually they reject they local resources out of hand or express that they are already tied in with the services available.

I live in an area where exploding rents have caused a dramatic increase in homelessness among vulnerable populations who have never previously been homeless.
 
That was very kind of you. I tend to be a pretty suspicious person, so I doubt I would have, but I could have been making a mistake, too. Hard call.
 
But the thing is, WHY are they rejecting the local resources? It doesn’t seem reasonable on their part to refuse them or reasonable on our part to substitute for what is available. Is it that they basically just want cash in those situations when they could be getting the material aid directly?

(It seems like this is where my temptation to be a bit judgmental and a little less charitable might surface.)
 
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The woman I spoke to was “rejecting the local resources”, specifically she didn’t want to go to the local shelter, because she said it was full of bedbugs. Like I said she was very well groomed and it was reasonable that the shelter might have bedbugs and that she, looking nice and clean like she was, wouldn’t want to get them.

I used to work in an area that was a couple blocks from a very large and nationally well-known homeless shelter. The people panhandling in that area were not looking for food/ shelter but instead were panhandling for drugs (some of them were visibly showing symptoms of addiction) or else they were professional panhandlers who lived somewhere and just hung around the train station to panhandle (the local newspaper did a big story on this, more than once - apparently the income was better than working most jobs).

And of course transients aren’t interested in the local resources because they aren’t looking to be around long enough to go through all the hoops to use them, also a lot of them are con artists and looking for kind people they can con into giving them rides, bus fare, crash space, other types of “favors”, and maybe help themselves to some of the person’s property as they pass through.
 
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Chief among them are mental health reasons. Just one example: I have a daughter on the autism spectrum and she has extreme sensitivity to sound. Ordinary life is painful for her; life in a shelter would be unbearable.

Another example: if you direct someone to a food closet and they get six bags of spaghetti, canned green beans and corn, and a bunch of fruit that is already starting to mold, what’s a homeless person supposed to do with all that? They don’t have cooking facilities or refrigeration available. In my city, if you are not in the downtown area, public transportation is minimal and expensive. Resources can be hard to reach .

For those who reject resources, there are as many reasons as there are individuals, but usually it comes down to mental illness or a developmental disorder.

I am not always successful, but I try to keep in mind the words of St John Chrysostom:
Let us also do this, I beg you, without making any inquiry more than necessary. Need alone is the poor man’s worthiness; if anyone at all ever comes to us with this recommendation, let us not meddle any further. We do not provide for the manners but for the man. We show mercy on him not because of his virtue but because of his misfortune, in order that we ourselves may receive from the Master His great mercy, in order that we ourselves, unworthy as we are, may enjoy His philanthropy. For if we were going to investigate the worthiness of our fellow servants, and inquire exactly, God will do the same for us.”
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Of course, the aforementioned teenage daughter once learned a tough lesson. She gave some money to a man in San Francisco then he asked her if she wanted some weed. Poor kid was horrified.
 
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If he was actually happy to get the free food you gave him, then he probably was needy to some degree. I’ve had friends who didn’t look particularly poor or needy but they would run out of food money and be hungry. They might have access to a car or have a roof over their head because they just spent their last dime on the rent but they wouldn’t have had money for a trip to Wendy’s.
 
This was really helpful information, baboochka, thanks so much for sharing it!

It’s sad and pathetic that people in need go to a food bank of some kind and end up getting moldy, spoiled food. A woman once told me a story like this when I was leaving the supermarket parking lot. I tended to think that she was just making excuses, but I likely would have not wanted to go back there either, especially if I was trying to feed my family.

This was a really good post. Thanks again.
 
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JamalChristophr said:
But the thing is, WHY are they rejecting the local resources?
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Quite frequently this occurs because of substance abuse. Shelters won’t allow drinking and drugs and often require drug tests. But drugs and alcohol can’t be stopped cold-turkey. Affordable and accessible in-patient treatment can be a challenge to find, but homeless people struggling with addiction are turned away from shelters. It’s a self-feeding cycle. Sometimes just getting into a jail cell can be a survival strategy in the cold weather.
 
That’s okay, CJ, God gives us all different gifts. I kind of like doing it. It’s fun, and I try to really see Christ in every single person that comes through the line.- just like Mother Theresa taught me, well, she is still teaching me.
 
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babochka said:
Having been a social worker dealing specifically with the homeless population in my past, I have a very good idea of the resources that are available and the limitations of those resources.
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I’ve been meaning to say this for awhile, but we have a lot in common . . . .
 
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