Have you ever felt embarrassed to confess a sin to a priest?

[Vico]

hmm…I was taught that Confession should be more specific in terms of saying what kinds of sin… I was told, to just say what you did, rather than only what Commandment it breaks. Because there are various ways to break a Commandment and we should include anything that affects the gravity of the sin. For example - if a person says they sinned against chastity… do they mean that they had an impure thought, or they had premarital sex, or something else? if they dishonoured their parents, did they have an angry thought against them, or did they physically attack their parent? etc. It’s good to clarify and be more specific I think… just because there are different things that break each Commandment, not just one. What we think and what’s in our hearts is important, for example Jesus said if someone has lust they already committed adultery, and same with anger / murder, maybe because sin is in the heart and in the intention too… but I was told that for Confession, we should actually name the sin, rather than only saying “I broke the fourth Commandment” etc.

I was taught from the Baltimore Catechism.

The Baltimore Catechism No. 3 has this in general, and for example that has been discussed here, sixth and ninth commandments:
Q. 789. When is our Confession entire?

A. Our Confession is entire when we tell the number and kinds of our sins and the circumstances which change their nature.

Q. 790. What do you mean by the “kinds of sin?”

A. By the “kinds of sin,” we mean the particular division or class to which the sins belong; that is, whether they be sins of blasphemy, disobedience, anger, impurity, dishonesty, etc. We can determine the kind of sin by discovering the commandment or precept of the Church we have broken or the virtue against which we have acted.

Q. 791. What do we mean by “circumstances which change the nature of sins?”

A. By “circumstances which change the nature of sins” we mean anything that makes it another kind of sin. Thus to steal is a sin, but to steal from the Church makes our theft sacrilegious. Again, impure actions are sins, but a person must say whether they were committed alone or with others, with relatives or strangers, with persons married or single, etc., because these circumstances change them from one kind of impurity to another.

Q. 1284. What is forbidden by the sixth Commandment?

A. The sixth Commandment forbids all unchaste freedom with another’s wife or husband; also all immodesty with ourselves or others in looks, dress, words, and actions.

Q. 1317. What is forbidden by the ninth Commandment?

A. The ninth Commandment forbids unchaste thoughts, desires of another’s wife or husband, and all other unlawful impure thoughts and desires.

Q. 1324. In what does the sixth commandment differ from the ninth, and the seventh differ from the tenth?

A. The sixth commandment differs from the ninth in this, that the sixth refers chiefly to external acts of impurity, while the ninth refers more to sins of thought against purity. The seventh commandment refers chiefly to external acts of dishonesty, while the tenth refers more to thoughts against honesty.

 

[russet1]

I was once in a confrontation with a priest. I said some pretty bad things to him. I knew I had to go to confession. I did. At one of the local confession opportunities when you have many priests in all areas of the Church hearing confessions. As (bad) luck would have it I happened to “draw” his very close friend who also was in on the conversation. Talk about embrassed. He knew what I had said and there I was confessing to him about his friend and brother priest. I lost that debate. I still believe I was right but I lost all ability to argue the point because of my poor chioce of words and emotions.

 

[Monica4316]

Yes you are right here. I just think that in confessing sins you dont want to give unnecessary temptation to the priest (because that is a sin). I could never be a priest cause i could not cope with hearing all the sins.

I was told not to give unnecessary details, like - telling a story, especially with sins against purity. Just say what you did, how many times, that is enough. Don’t give a whole detailed story.

 

[Monica4316]

I was taught from the Baltimore Catechism.

The Baltimore Catechism No. 3 has this in general, and for example that has been discussed here, sixth and ninth commandments:
Q. 789. When is our Confession entire?

A. Our Confession is entire when we tell the number and kinds of our sins and the circumstances which change their nature.

Q. 790. What do you mean by the “kinds of sin?”

A. By the “kinds of sin,” we mean the particular division or class to which the sins belong; that is, whether they be sins of blasphemy, disobedience, anger, impurity, dishonesty, etc. We can determine the kind of sin by discovering the commandment or precept of the Church we have broken or the virtue against which we have acted.

Q. 791. What do we mean by “circumstances which change the nature of sins?”

A. By “circumstances which change the nature of sins” we mean anything that makes it another kind of sin. Thus to steal is a sin, but to steal from the Church makes our theft sacrilegious. Again, impure actions are sins, but a person must say whether they were committed alone or with others, with relatives or strangers, with persons married or single, etc., because these circumstances change them from one kind of impurity to another.

Q. 1284. What is forbidden by the sixth Commandment?

A. The sixth Commandment forbids all unchaste freedom with another’s wife or husband; also all immodesty with ourselves or others in looks, dress, words, and actions.

Q. 1317. What is forbidden by the ninth Commandment?

A. The ninth Commandment forbids unchaste thoughts, desires of another’s wife or husband, and all other unlawful impure thoughts and desires.

Q. 1324. In what does the sixth commandment differ from the ninth, and the seventh differ from the tenth?

A. The sixth commandment differs from the ninth in this, that the sixth refers chiefly to external acts of impurity, while the ninth refers more to sins of thought against purity. The seventh commandment refers chiefly to external acts of dishonesty, while the tenth refers more to thoughts against honesty.

that’s very clear, thanks!