Have you ever gotten in trouble at your parish for doing what's right?

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Heckesh

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Have you ever gotten in trouble at your parish for doing what’s right? I have, more than once.

One time in particular stands out. 15 minutes before Mass I’m just about the only person in church when a senior EMHC (a EMHC “Mass Leader” with supposedly a great deal of training) came out to check the number of consecrated hosts in the tabernacle. After checking she walks away with the tabernacle wide open and the key in it! What the heck? Colossal senior moment? Sleep walking? They had taken to leaving the key in the tabernacle a few weeks earlier (and one of us would always remove it and put in in the sanctuary on the credence), but this was way over the top.

Reverently I locked the tabernacle and removed the key. I walked into the sacristy and instruct the EMHC that the tabernacle should never be left open, unlocked and/or with the key in it. She glared at me and hissed “that was on purpose! It makes things easier during Mass!”

I replied by slamming-down the key harshly on the counter and saying “Don’t you EVER treat the Blessed Sacrament as you just did! Not ever!” With that I walked out of the sacristy.

I received the obligatory phone call from my pastor early that week, apologizing for what happened but that I needed to be more tactful in such situations and that I scared the woman. Thankfully the call ended there. 4-5 people “quit” being EMsHC because I was “not punished.”

Would I change a thing? Nope. To this day it has never repeated.
 
I’ve been yelled at during a liturgy committee meeting because I said "What you want me to train the EMHCs to do violates Redemptionis Sacramentum. “That document hasn’t been implemented in our diocese,” came the reply. “Well, it also violates every document on the Eucharist that has come out since the first time they gave permission for EMHCs to exist.” That was the point at which one of the priests stood up, looking ready to have a stroke, shook his finger at me and yelled, “We’ve never paid attention to those documents and we’re not about to start now!”

I felt that I had no choice but to resign from the Liturgy Committee at that point. They happily accepted my resignation.

But they weren’t rid of me. I’m the parish secretary and I still speak my mind.

It’s not a comfortable situation, but I can’t keep my mouth shut when I see things being done that just shouldn’t be done or conversely not done that ought to be done.
 
It’s mostly why I’m in a new parish, although I still have many friends in my old parish.
 
Holy cow, you guys are great at standing up for what’s right! The most trouble I’ve gotten in wasn’t actually at my parish, but a nearby church that we go to for Daily Mass once in a while. (It’s too liberal for us to take on a weekly basis…)
One week I was waiting in line for Confession. The line was pretty lengthy, and soon it was time for the priest to get ready for the 5 o’clock Mass. So the priest decided to call everyone else in line into the confessional (crowded!), and gave us general absolution. I was a little leery about this, but I didn’t really have a choice…
I knew that you’re supposed to go to “real” confession as soon as possible after receiving general absolution, so I went back next week to the same church for Confession. As I was waiting in line just before they started Confessions, the priest walked by, saw me standing in line, and said, “Didn’t you just come to Confession last week?”
I was like, “Well, it was only general absolution, so I’m coming back to have a “real” Confession.” The priest, however, would have none of it, insisting that a general absolution was as good as any other confession. He even went so far as to insist that going to Confession every week was “abusing the sacrament!”
My dad, next to me in line, was flabbergasted. He tried arguing- well, debating…- that many of the saints (not to mention folks like JP II, etc) went to weekly Confession, but the priest was like, “Well, John-Paul was the Pope!”
It was SO FRUSTRATING! My dad couldn’t take it anymore, so we left as soon as possible. I’m still steamed at that priest- why is he trying to turn people away from a frequent Confession?!? :mad: sigh Anyway… sorry for the long comment.
 
Heckesh said:
Have you ever gotten in trouble at your parish for doing what’s right? I have, more than once.

One time in particular stands out. 15 minutes before Mass I’m just about the only person in church when a senior EMHC (a EMHC “Mass Leader” with supposedly a great deal of training) came out to check the number of consecrated hosts in the tabernacle. After checking she walks away with the tabernacle wide open and the key in it! What the heck? Colossal senior moment? Sleep walking? They had taken to leaving the key in the tabernacle a few weeks earlier (and one of us would always remove it and put in in the sanctuary on the credence), but this was way over the top.

Reverently I locked the tabernacle and removed the key. I walked into the sacristy and instruct the EMHC that the tabernacle should never be left open, unlocked and/or with the key in it. She glared at me and hissed “that was on purpose! It makes things easier during Mass!”

I replied by slamming-down the key harshly on the counter and saying “Don’t you EVER treat the Blessed Sacrament as you just did! Not ever!” With that I walked out of the sacristy.

I received the obligatory phone call from my pastor early that week, apologizing for what happened but that I needed to be more tactful in such situations and that I scared the woman. Thankfully the call ended there. 4-5 people “quit” being EMsHC because I was “not punished.”

Would I change a thing? Nope. To this day it has never repeated.
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Gets out of chair. Raises hands clasped together. Furiously applauds!

Thank you. Very much:-p The fact that 4-5 people “quit” being EMHCs after you protecting the Blessed Sacrament says a lot about them and their faith, not about you (not that you need to be told that).

Good job!
 
While you were probably correct in telling the woman that the tabernacle should not be left open (we do leave the key in it after it is checked before mass), I think you should not have yelled at the woman or slammed the key down. That is probably what the other EMHC are reacting against. Why did you feel you needed to get angry at the women? She was probably only doing what she was told to do. Yes, I would be frightened too if a stranger came into the sacristy and started yelling at me or harsly telling me what to do. I think the best course of action would have been to close the tabernacle and then talk to the pastor about the incident and have him speak to the EMHCs about the situation.
 
Joannm said:
While you were probably correct in telling the woman that the tabernacle should not be left open (we do leave the key in it after it is checked before mass), I think you should not have yelled at the woman or slammed the key down. That is probably what the other EMHC are reacting against. Why did you feel you needed to get angry at the women? She was probably only doing what she was told to do. Yes, I would be frightened too if a stranger came into the sacristy and started yelling at me or harsly telling me what to do. I think the best course of action would have been to close the tabernacle and then talk to the pastor about the incident and have him speak to the EMHCs about the situation.
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Amen to this post!

A soft answer turns away wrath.

Violence in voice tone and actions (e.g., slamming things) is never justified.

The Lord Jesus used a scourge to drive out moneylenders, but we do not yet have the perfection of Our Lord and therefore need to be very careful about displays of anger that frighten people.

In this day and age of “going postal,” “road rage,” and campus shootings, I think it is a very frightening thing to raise your voice and slam things. People don’t know how stable mentally you are, and they are scared of being hurt by you.

Believe it or not, a gentle tone and manner is even more effective than a display of strong emotions, and it will probably result in not only the action that you desire (reverent treatment of the Host), but also you will keep the person you are addressing as a friend and brother/sister.

I have learned all this the hard way, and I am still learning it.
 
Well, hindsight is always 20-20. Atleast something was done about that matter.
 
Literally, I have been nailed to the cross next to Jesus for mentioning that we have been lax in taking care of our Hispanic immigrants who are now in our church. They need to be ministered to in their own language. With a Spanish mass & confession at the bare minimum.

God forbid that we welcome them with open arms. We might be deploring our property values?😦
 
Heckesh said:
Thankfully the call ended there. 4-5 people “quit” being EMsHC because I was “not punished.”

Would I change a thing? Nope. To this day it has never repeated.
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You may have found the WMD, and a way to answer that situation. :rolleyes: :cool:

.
 
When I did a syllabus for our high-school religious ed class, I put a note at the end that the teachers were committed to teaching in full accord with the Church and listed the evil of abortion and contraception among others. A mom came up to me and told me the Church’s teaching on contraception was just irresponsible. I just looked at her attentively, then she asked if we were basically gonna toe the party line. I said yeah, we are going to toe the line. She walked away.

Then in our unit on chastity we handed out the Pure Love pamphlet and discussed. The son of that mom had the book under his desk shredded in pieces as if chastity was the most offensive force on the planet.

That was a while back. For all I know, he’s entered the priesthood since then. 🙂
 
not more than once a week lately

if I did speak to a volunteer rudely I would expect to be censured, and possibly to lose my job

had OP spoken from love for the Lord rather than from anger he may have been the means of educating the EMHC in question, and the others who have threatened to leave over his actions, a missed opportunity to evangelize. In this parish, if the EMHC had opened the tabernacle shortly before Mass he would have been following instructions.
 
Joannm said:
While you were probably correct in telling the woman that the tabernacle should not be left open (we do leave the key in it after it is checked before mass), I think you should not have yelled at the woman or slammed the key down. That is probably what the other EMHC are reacting against. Why did you feel you needed to get angry at the women? She was probably only doing what she was told to do. Yes, I would be frightened too if a stranger came into the sacristy and started yelling at me or harsly telling me what to do. I think the best course of action would have been to close the tabernacle and then talk to the pastor about the incident and have him speak to the EMHCs about the situation.
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What ever happened to humility and charity?

Gee, did you write a letter to the Bishop while you were at it?

How can some of you possibly receive the Blessed Sacrement in a proper state when you behave the way you do?

When you go to Mass, do you actually absorb what is taking place before you, or are you preoccupied with looking for “Liturgical Abuses” ?

Rule #1: There is a God

Rule #2: You are NOT him.

😦
 
At our parish, they key is in the tabernacle at the beginning of Mass. The reason is that the lock has a habit of sticking sometimes. I think you could have been a little more tactfull in bringing the abuse to their attention. But I don understand your concern. Abuse of the Blessed Sacrament is common, and should be given more attention. The main reason being, in my opinion, is that a lot of Catholics do not really believe that it is REALLY the Body of Christ.
 
When we were at a different church (not Catholic), yes. My husband got in trouble for daring to ask if all the church school teachers had undergone their background checks, as required by our church’s statutes. Since our son was in church school, we thought that as parents, we had a right to know. Nope. We were told we were acting like spies, Nazis, and told that our son would NEVER serve at altar and he would suffer for our actions.

No big loss, now that I look back.
 
stbruno said:
Literally, I have been nailed to the cross next to Jesus for mentioning that we have been lax in taking care of our Hispanic immigrants who are now in our church. They need to be ministered to in their own language. With a Spanish mass & confession at the bare minimum.

God forbid that we welcome them with open arms. We might be deploring our property values?😦
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Wow! :eek:

That must have really hurt. I hope your hands and feet are better. 😦

I hope the people who attacked you and hammered nails into your hands and feet are in jail for what they’ve done.
 
Brother_John said:
What ever happened to humility and charity?
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It’s still there, but people can overreact when doing the right thing, but that doesn’t let the original wrongdoing off the hook.
Gee, did you write a letter to the Bishop while you were at it?
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The first step would be confront the party personally. If the person continued, politely go to the pastor. If it remains unresolved, then a letter to the bishop is not only fine, but encouraged. One of those layman duties I’ll get to.
How can some of you possibly receive the Blessed Sacrement in a proper state when you behave the way you do?
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Again, the manner of addressing the wrongdoing was probably overbearing, but there was an obligation to do something.
When you go to Mass, do you actually absorb what is taking place before you, or are you preoccupied with looking for “Liturgical Abuses” ?
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This is a bad faith question and a false dilemma as well. Most people can overlook accidental things, but with serial abuse and bad habits, then someone needs to speak up. Probably not in this manner of the op, but somehow.

There is a glaring irony here. We constantly hear from We-Are-Church types that laypeople have a voice, and yet when a layman speaks up about an easily correctable abuse, suddenly it’s “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!”
Rule #1: There is a God

Rule #2: You are NOT him
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Nothing in any of the responses implies anything that disagrees with this.
 
To the OP:

I believe that your intention to protect the Blessed Sacrament was correct, and I have no doubt that you were correct in knowing the tabernacle was to be left shut.

I agree with other posters who have stated that the manner in which you handled the situation was probably what prompted the phone call. It is one thing to hand the key back and say, “I’m sure the tabernacle is meant to be closed until the Sacrament is needed,” and quite another to, as you say, slam the key down and speak angrily. No doubt you were reacting to the reaction of the other layperson, but that is not an excuse.

I do commend you for your desire to protect the Blessed Sacrament, though.
 
Heck yes!!

I won’t go into detail for political reasons. [And because I don’t want to lose my celestial brownie points!!]

But yes!!
 
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