Have you ever greeted/spoken to a woman religious not knowing that she was a sister/nun?

[Lepanto]

On more than one occasion, I have said hello or otherwise spoken to a woman, only to find out later (during or after the encounter) that she was actually a religious.

In each case, I felt embarrassed and rude for not having properly addressed her as “sister”.



Has this ever happened to you?

 

[Kielbasi]

Sure, I used to have a neighbor who was a nun and didn’t know it at first.

Personally, I didn’t feel either embarassed or rude, as if they aren’t dressed as a nun how could I be expected to know? I addressed her as “yes, ma’am” anyhow which is a polite form of address for almost any woman.

 

[Phemie]

On more than one occasion, I have said hello or otherwise spoken to a woman, only to find out later (during or after the encounter) that she was actually a religious.

In each case, I felt embarrassed and rude for not having properly addressed her as “sister”.



Has this ever happened to you?

Some, in a classroom setting, but I’ve not known them to be offended if someone didn’t address them as ‘sister’. OTOH, I’ve been mistaken for a sister and I haven’t been able to figure out why. Perhaps, it’s just where I work, because I have nothing ‘sisterish’ about me.

 

[DJgang]

Don’t feel bad, she should have been wearing a habit if she wanted everyone to know…

Yes, it has happened. When I found out I really was in shock because she was wearing khaki’s, a polo shirt and really looked rather unfemine. Oh well.

 

[Jean_Anthony]

I will allow this discussion but only if there is no bashing of religious over their decision to wear/not wear a habit.

 

[Cavaille-Coll]

My former parish, which was a fairly large one, had three sisters in it. I lived there for six years and never knew exactly who they were. Then another one came with a certain type of identifying textile about her person and she was easy to spot in the crowd.

 

[anamchara]

On more than one occasion, I have said hello or otherwise spoken to a woman, only to find out later (during or after the encounter) that she was actually a religious.

In each case, I felt embarrassed and rude for not having properly addressed her as “sister”.



Has this ever happened to you?

Not that I know of I have met them by being introduced or attenting classes they’ve taught in the parish setting. I don’t think I’d be embarrased if i didn’t know. That is understandable and I’m sure they would excuse that

 

[PatienceAndLove]

I have noticed this at the college I attend. The college is run by an order of sisters. I can really only identify the older American sisters by the cross pin they wear. The younger/foreign sisters are all dressed in full habit.
I think the non-wearing of the habit is going by the wayside, as I have noticed that orders with large numbers of new comers are all wearing the full habit.

I do remember seeing a youngish lady (late 30s?) in Stuff Mart the other day. She was wearing a black jumper, white shirt and a whimple.

 

[Maritsa]

Yes. At least twice. On both occassions, they introduced themselves by name and not by title. It wasn’t until I asked about their lives they said they were religious that I realized they were nuns. One of them corrected me when I called her sister after that and told me to just call her by her name.

I also had a priest do the same thing to me. Come to think of it, two priests. One said he wasn’t my father and to call him by his name and the other had a big theological excuse on why he thought it was more humble to go only by his name. I understand that both have left the priesthood and one has left the Church.

Please pray for the repose of the souls of both the nuns and for the salvation of both the priests.

 

[Eilish_Maura]

As in all areas of life some embrace their titles and some don’t.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

As in all areas of life some embrace their titles and some don’t.

But doesn’t the title go with the vocation?
It’s like telling my husband not to refer to me as his wife, or telling my daughter not to call me “Mama”.

 

[CreatioNova]

The ‘‘nun’’ attached to my local church dresses in a smart casual style.

You’d never know by looking at her she is a nun.

It’s her smug, arrogant, self-important patronising attitude that gives her away

 

[Karl_M]

It has happened to me a few times. Most of the sisters (save for the Mercy Sisters) and the one brother in this diocese do not wear anything that even remotely makes it obvious that they are a religious.

Even though the sisters I’ve see do dress conservatively and don’t wear makeup or lipstick-it doesn’t stand out. So, yes, it has happened to me.

 

[Phemie]

But doesn’t the title go with the vocation?
It’s like telling my husband not to refer to me as his wife, or telling my daughter not to call me “Mama”.

But your husband doesn’t address you as “wife PatienceAndLove”, does he? I don’t want adults calling me 'Mrs Phemie", my friend doesn’t get herself introduced as Dr. Charlene, and adults don’t address my husband as Mr.

We had 2 sisters in our parish, one was in her 60s and I wouldn’t have dreamt of calling her anything but Sr. unless she invited me to call her by her given name. The other was in her 30s and from day 1 she asked me to call her by her given name, I was happy to do what she wished. You respect people most by calling them what they want to be called.

I call my pastor by his first name unless I’m in a group and then I call him Fr. It’s a habit I picked from hearing him called by his first name by 90% of the people who popped by the office looking for him.

 

[Eilish_Maura]

But doesn’t the title go with the vocation?
It’s like telling my husband not to refer to me as his wife, or telling my daughter not to call me “Mama”.

No, it is more like doctors (MDs and PhDs) asking you not to call them ‘doctor’.

 

[CreatioNova]

Personally I think it’s a great shame that religious don’t dress as traditional religious.

In the town I grew up in - the franciscans, dominicans and augustinians all dressed in their habits. They engnedered respect whereever they went in the town. People always addressed then as Father or Brother. Kids grew up learning to show this respect.

Their presence made you feel like the ‘‘church’’ was ‘‘out there’’ because they were so easily identifable in public.

They even exercised a bit of social control. When we were being a bit lairy the 3 things that would pull us into check was

Your Mothers comming

A cops comming

A priest/nun is comming

The Augustinians were the first to drop the habit in an attempt to appear to be more approachable/belnd in with the youth.

They missed the point completely in my view.

Others followed…

Ho Hum…

 

[Joannm]

Some, in a classroom setting, but I’ve not known them to be offended if someone didn’t address them as ‘sister’. OTOH, I’ve been mistaken for a sister and I haven’t been able to figure out why. Perhaps, it’s just where I work, because I have nothing ‘sisterish’ about me.

I too have been mistaken for a sister. That is until one priest told me to stop dressing like one. I think that was meant as an insult as to how I dressed. So I lost 57 lbs and bought a new wardrobe and went blond. Now no one thinks I am a sister.

 

[Joannm]

No, it is more like doctors (MDs and PhDs) asking you not to call them ‘doctor’.

I make my kids call me Dr.

 

[CreatioNova]

I too have been mistaken for a sister. That is until one priest told me to stop dressing like one. I think that was meant as an insult as to how I dressed. So I lost 57 lbs and bought a new wardrobe and went blond. Now no one thinks I am a sister.

 

[FlatAffect]

No, it is more like doctors (MDs and PhDs) asking you not to call them ‘doctor’.

I’ve never known an MD or a PH.D who didn’t want you call them doctor Isn’t that the point–they went through years and years of school so they want everyone to know and call them Dr.–it is a title that automatically demands respect from most of the population.