Have you, or would you ever, renew your wedding vows?

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Feanaro_s_Wife

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If you have, please share why you chose to do so…and how you did it.

If you would never, why?

My hubby and I have been married 6 years and I have always wanted to renew our vows… maybe around ten years together. My reasons are that we weren’t quite ready for marriage at the time (although we didn’t see it that way, lol) and we now realize exactly what it means to be married. We have both grown up alot since the wedding (both emotionally and spiritually). I would love to renew our vows now that I feel like I should have felt the first time.

Thanks!

Malia
 
Why would anyone need to? If they were valid when you made them, why would there be any need to renew them?
 
I have been married for 28 years so far, and I don’t intend to renew them. However I always find it very sweet when someone does. My parents had a mass for all of us for their 40th and they renewed their vows and had a dinner. It was nice. I always have so much else going on with my kids so I haven’t had a year without big celebrations like graduations, etc. Maybe some year it will be right and I will do it.
 
Barefoot Brenda:
Why would anyone need to? If they were valid when you made them, why would there be any need to renew them?
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It is not a need, it is a wish.

The wedding was a valid sacrament and I do not need to get re-married. My intent is to reaffirm how we feel for eachother under God.

I have heard references to people renewing their vows but never paid much attention to whether or not the couple was Catholic, so I was not sure if this ws something that Catholics even considered doing.

I hope that explains it.

Malia
 
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Fitz:
I have been married for 28 years so far, and I don’t intend to renew them. However I always find it very sweet when someone does. My parents had a mass for all of us for their 40th and they renewed their vows and had a dinner. It was nice. I always have so much else going on with my kids so I haven’t had a year without big celebrations like graduations, etc. Maybe some year it will be right and I will do it.
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Your parents story sounds beautiful!!! That is kind of what I had in mind. Thanks for sharing it with me. When you say that your parents had a Mass for all of you, what do you mean exactly? Was this scheduled the same way a regular wedding would be?

One of my other reasons for wanting to renew our vows is that we did not have a Mass with our wedding (I was Orthodox) and now that I am almost Catholic I feel like we missed out a bit.

Keep your views, opinions and, examples coming everyone!!!

Malia
 
Feanaro's Wife:
If you have, please share why you chose to do so…and how you did it.

If you would never, why?

My hubby and I have been married 6 years and I have always wanted to renew our vows… maybe around ten years together. My reasons are that we weren’t quite ready for marriage at the time (although we didn’t see it that way, lol) and we now realize exactly what it means to be married. We have both grown up alot since the wedding (both emotionally and spiritually). I would love to renew our vows now that I feel like I should have felt the first time.

Thanks!

Malia
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I always thought it would be neat to do such in the Catholic Church if you’re a new Catholic but I never would and here’s why. It’s kinda sad, but if I had it to do over again, I would not marry my husband. I try my hardest to make the best of it now, as our marriage is, with children and nearly 20 years behind us, but I have to be honest here. I could not do it and be honest, because this is how I feel.
 
So why not renew your wedding vows? I think it’s a wonderful idea! I would do it!
Feanaro's Wife:
If you have, please share why you chose to do so…and how you did it.

If you would never, why?

My hubby and I have been married 6 years and I have always wanted to renew our vows… maybe around ten years together. My reasons are that we weren’t quite ready for marriage at the time (although we didn’t see it that way, lol) and we now realize exactly what it means to be married. We have both grown up alot since the wedding (both emotionally and spiritually). I would love to renew our vows now that I feel like I should have felt the first time.

Thanks!

Malia
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My parents just did this past November during a 40th wedding anniversary celebration we had for them, I think it is something special when you have made it that far, like 30 years or longer, of course a simple just the husband and wife and priest would be nice at anytime but to make a big deal out of it before 30 years or more personally for me would seem kinda weird.
Peace 🙂
 
My husband and I have gotten married every year for the past 7… it’s how we celebrate our anniversary! When someone asks why we do this, my hubby says that we will “always be newly weds”. I think that is so romantic!

MMT
 
Feanaro's Wife:
If you have, please share why you chose to do so…and how you did it.

If you would never, why?

My hubby and I have been married 6 years and I have always wanted to renew our vows… maybe around ten years together. My reasons are that we weren’t quite ready for marriage at the time (although we didn’t see it that way, lol) and we now realize exactly what it means to be married. We have both grown up alot since the wedding (both emotionally and spiritually). I would love to renew our vows now that I feel like I should have felt the first time.

Thanks!

Malia
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We will celebrate our 25th anniversary this year. I used to think that I would love to renew our vows, but now I believe it to be unneccesary. I say, if you want to, go ahead, but as I got older and our marriage became more mature, the need was less and less.
 
It was our 20th
It was a quiet weekday morning mass
The few usual morning people were there
Our children cut out of school to be there for 40 minutes
Our folks were there
I am glad we did :love: it again in church before God and the people we cherish the most
 
I’ve been married for 12 years but I can tell you it does not feel like it at all, I still feel like it was just the other day we were married sometimes, I feel like 12 years is some but we are young and hopefully we will live God willing for quite some more time and I just think we need to mature more, age, etc. let our children grow into adults and let them be a part of it. My parents renewed their vows after 40 years of marriage, wow, 40 years, that is so totally awesome in todays world. I look at it as kinda a specail right that you get when you reach a milestone like that, I know that many will disagree but I personally think that you’ve only just begun in those first 15 to 20 years, it goes by so fast. This was special because as adult children my siblings and I planned this for my parents, we invited the guests, booked the church, had the food made etc. it was to let my parents know, we respect this love you have, we are so proud of you, we as your grown children have been really affected by the love of you, it was very amazing and very emotional, not one dry eye. I know that being married 12 years is great but I don’t toot my own horn or anything like that since I know folks at my church that have been married 60 years and to them I’m like a little pup 😃 I can see just doing it with a priest and maybe your kids or just your parents but to make a big huge deal is to me kinda silly, but I don’t need that for myself, I know that each day my marriage is renewed and I don’t need to have a pat on the back or an extra blessing from a priest, with God as the head of your house you can ask him to bless your marriage each morning and night, I think it has its place but it can also be overdone, but again, just the rants of gal whose been married a mere 12 years and hopefully 50 more 😃
 
Thanks everyone!

I just wanted to say that if we do decide that we would like to renew our vows that it would not be a big thing with guests and a party etc. I would like it to be pretty private, just us with a priest before God.

That is why I asked the question… to see how it could be done, if it could be done.

You all have been very helpful so far…thank you.

Malia

p.s. I love the idea of renewing vows every anniversary MMT! that sounds like a great attitude and I’m sure your marriage will always feel “new”.
 
My husband and I were married in a civil service so we had our marriage blessed in a ceremony by the priest. I think it is a beautiful thing to renew your vows and we intend to do it again and maybe several times in the future. It’s not necessary, just like renewing your baptismal vows doesn’t makes it any more valid. I think if all married couples would renew their marriage vows every year we would have stronger, healthier marriages (maybe in a church service on a particular day of the year to honor marriages). With the percentage of marriages ending in divorce in the Catholic Church being basically the same as outside the church, we need all the support and help we can get. I think it does something inside a person when you stand facing each other and promise to love and be faithful to each other. This is just my opinion.
 
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Marysgirl:
I think if all married couples would renew their marriage vows every year we would have stronger, healthier marriages (maybe in a church service on a particular day of the year to honor marriages).
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Thanks so much for your reply Marysgirl…

what a great idea!

Does anyone know if that is a possiblity? Could I arrange for something like that in my own parish? I can picture it happening right after Mass… all of the couple’s wishing to do so could remain (along with anyone who wants to just stay and watch of course) and stand and face eachother while saying vows or repeating them after the priest… it would be a beautiful thing to see every year, don’t you think?

Malia
 
I agree that formally renewing the vows is not needed.

I agree that renewal of vows is often cool.

I’m troubled by your reasoning that you weren’t properly disposed when you made your vows. Either they were valid or not. The fact that you have grown to honor them and internalize them better than ever does not make them invalid.

I think marriage vows should remain alive and fresh every moment of every day, and therefore any “renewal” is only a delightful formal ceremony.

You’ve given me an idea, though. I think I might just write up some vows and say them to my wife today. With just the two of us and God, I will look right at her and say them.

Another thing my wife and I do is never let a day go by where we don’t tell each other we love the other, and probably five times a week or so I thank her for being a part of my life. After almost 20 years that stuff has NOT gotten old.

Alan
 
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AlanFromWichita:
I agree that formally renewing the vows is not needed.

I agree that renewal of vows is often cool.

I’m troubled by your reasoning that you weren’t properly disposed when you made your vows. Either they were valid or not. The fact that you have grown to honor them and internalize them better than ever does not make them invalid.
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It’s not that I think our original vows weren’t valid…I know they were. And it’s not that I think if we don’t renew our vows that we aren’t really married.

Maybe I am thinking about this in a more romantic kind of way. Not that renewing our vows would be cool, but that it would be sweet, and a great way to express to my hubby that I am grateful to have a spouse like him. And that although we may have been emotionally immature when we got married, I don’t regret it at all and hope that every year of marriage is even more wonderful than the previous.

Also, since I was not a Catholic at the time, I would like to renew our vows once I become Catholic. It is not a matter, to me, of whether our original vows were valid… just a way to affirm them.

I posted this question to get info… and from all of your answers so far I am getting that to renew our vows we don’t need to be in Church or have a priest. We could do it in a huge ceremony, or just the two of us on a beach etc. Renewing our vows will not make us be any more married than we already are, but it could add to the romance and the love. Do I have it straight?

Malia
 
Feanaro's Wife:
I posted this question to get info… and from all of your answers so far I am getting that to renew our vows we don’t need to be in Church or have a priest. We could do it in a huge ceremony, or just the two of us on a beach etc. Renewing our vows will not make us be any more married than we already are, but it could add to the romance and the love. Do I have it straight?
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Sounds good to me. BTW, there certainly is nothing wrong with getting a priest involved. As for myself, I only intended to convey that there is no need to wait until you can arrange for one.

At our parish on World Marriage Day or whatever they call it, they ask people to stand if they are married for various lengths of time so we can see who has been married 10 yrs, 20 yrs, 50 yrs, etc. Then together we all stand and renew our wedding vows.

Alan
 
Barefoot Brenda:
Why would anyone need to? If they were valid when you made them, why would there be any need to renew them?
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I dunno, why do we renew our baptismal vows at Easter?

My wife and I have renewed our vows on anniversaries and at relatives’ weddings held hands & silently repeated them.

I guess it’s just a way of re-affirming a commitment. We’re oming up on 21 years, btw.
 
At our parish, every year on the Sunday closest to Valentines day, at the end of the mass, the priest asks all the married couples to stand, and we all renew our wedding vows. My husband and I always cry like little girls with skinned knees!! (I try to play it off and tell him that I’m crying cause I got stuck with him forever, but I don’t think he buys it!!)
 
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