Having a difficult time trusting God

  • Thread starter Thread starter Monica4316
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

Monica4316

Guest
Hi everyone…

This is sort of an update from that other thread I made a while ago about the ‘unforgiveable sin’. So much has happened since then… both good and bad.

The problem is that I’m still having a really difficult time believing that God can forgive me of this. 😦 If you havent read my old thread, what I’m talking about is how I was tempted to think really horrible thoughts about the Holy Spirit, and sometimes gave in/felt like I gave in.

Yesterday, I had an interesting experience at Mass… I felt a lot of contrition for these thoughts. It brought me so much closer to God… as I repented of everything, God gave me so much consolation and grace. I wanted to live for Him and to submit to His will in everything. That really encouraged me cause I don’t think God would give these graces to someone who has committed the unforgiveable sin. Also, last Wednesday, God gave me a lot of peace when I received the Eucharist…before then, I felt so much anxiety and couldn’t control it at all. The moment I received Communion, it went away and I felt this amazing peace and God’s love. The temptations ceased as well, for that time.

However now, I feel a lot of doubt again 😦 the temptations are really strong, though I can resist them like I couldn’t before. I feel God is giving me strength… but Im tired at the same time. If I felt such contrition for these thoughts, that to me means they’re sinful… since they’re sinful, how do I know they’re not the unforgiveable sin? Cause when I read Matthew 12, it seems to imply that any words against the Holy Spirit are unforgiveable. At the same time, I don’t believe these words, they’re more like temptations…

I know Pope John Paul II said in his encyclical that the sin against the Holy Spirit is rejecting God’s mercy/salvation/grace… which makes sense… and Jesus in Matthew 12 says that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks”, suggesting that the sin of the Pharisees in that passage came from their hearts… more than just words. But in my case, I know I don’t believe anything evil about the Holy Spirit.

The scary thing is that sometimes, the temptations affect my feelings/imagination too and I feel tempted to hate God and the Holy Spirit 😦 I feel a strange dislike for anything holy… but at the same time, I’m able to resist this and my will remains free.

Can someone please help me understand if this sin can be forgiven or not… I keep on struggling with this and it’s been going on for more than 2 weeks. Most of all I just want to be free of all this… I want to go to Confession and be forgiven, and then never have these temptations return again. I really WANT to believe that I can be forgiven…the thought of having lost God for all eternity causes me a lot of pain. I can’t really deal with it… but in my mind, I have so much fear.

thanks 🙂
 
Monica, I think you are very close to God in these moments. These problems of yours might be real spiritual attacks, they might be a form of OCD like some other posters suggested, however, the end result is the same:

I believe that right now, God does see a person who loves and desires Him deeply (as I have no doubt that you do) being drawn away from Him by some unfortunate occurance, and at the same time struggling to keep close.

I believe God loves you all the more for your struggle and is paying more attention, as it were, to you right now than ever before. (I know the idea of God paying more attention to one individual than another might not be very correct in light of the fact that He is omnipotent annd infinite and all loving, but somehow I feel that way about it).

I think He and the saints are deeply concerned, much in the way a loving parent would be more concerned about a child that is having some problems than about the child that is well. I believe the Heart of Jesus and that of his Holy Mother are concerned and overflowing with love for you.

And because He is close to you, you are also close to Him. And because of that I dare ask you to pray to Him for me. Please, ask the Lord to help me with my faith and to allow me to be close to Him. I would deeply appreciate that. Thank you and God bless.
 
Erethorn, something about that really rings true… I feel so confused at the moment that I don’t know if it applies to me or not, but I certainly think it does apply to people who are going through spiritual darkness. I agree with you… it took me a long time to see that… I can really see God’s grace working in you 🙂 certainly I’ll pray for you and please pray for me too. God bless!
 
As was explained…yes all sins can be forgiven in this life…

and remember my post on thoughts…

and what is sin and what is not…😉
 
In the case of sins…

It is part of the Faith that Jesus gave us…

we profess:

“I BELIEVE IN THE FORGIVENESS OF SINS”

and Jesus gave the authority to the Church

“Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven”

The Catechism:

982 There is no offense, however serious, that the Church cannot forgive. "There is no one, however wicked and guilty, who may not confidently hope for forgiveness, provided his repentance is honest.529 Christ who died for all men desires that in his Church the gates of forgiveness should always be open to anyone who turns away from sin.530

(in your case though…remember temptations or obsessive thoughts are just that!
and if you choose to confess any of them that you think you consented too…tell the priest the circumstance…that they happen to you and that you are not sure…and that they may not be any sin…and then add your sins and say ‘and all the sins of my life’)

of course again… for sin there has to be consent. period.
 
Thank you Monica. I will pray that God helps you to understand His love and care for you.

I think that Faith, and Hope, and Charity are all the more precious, in the eyes of the Lord, for the struggle we choose to go to in order to attain them. Therefore, we should also cherish the struggle itself.
 
Dear Monica,

I’m sorry you are having difficulties. I have times when my faith is questioned or doubts about God. I look around and wonder how He could let all of this evil in the world actually exist. How could so many decent people have so many serious problems. Why do the faithful have doubts and mental stress regarding their faith. So to make a long story short.

I truly believe the devil is lashing out at anyone who is coming closer to God. This is a real war. The battle is constant and the stakes are high. We must do battle on a daily basis with all the spiritual weapons we have. When we have doubts or bad thoughts, we should pray. Bless yourself with holy water, hold a cross, wear a blessed cross. Increase your prayer time by saying a rosary or the divine mercy chaplet. Keep your thoughts on a great and loving God that loves you more than anyone else ever could. He is with you and will help you win this battle. He allowed His Son to endure pure hell to save us. It only makes sense that we have our own pure hell to endure. In the end paradise will be so much sweeter.

I’ll also say a prayer for you as I’m going to visit the Blessed Sacrament right now and do battle. Take care.
 
Thanks for your replies everyone!! 🙂 I hope I’ll be able to go to Confession tonight… please say a prayer for me if you can 🙂

God bless!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top