Having a hard time maintaing my faith

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It feels that God is punishing me and my family:

About 10 years ago, I had a bad case of depression that caused a major wedge between me and my wife (was afraid that I was going to loose my job… I worked for Worldcom during their bankruptcy). Instead of ending our marriage, I went and sought counselling and decided that we would stick it out in the marriage. I was thankful to God that I was able to maintain my marriage and work during this time.

Then about 3 years ago, my wife fell ill with major stomache issues that caused her to be rushed to the hospital. Nothing could be found wrong with her (so we thought it was food poisoning). Since then she has been rushed to the ER at least 4 more times for the same issue… Again no dianoses on the issue (in fact it is getting worse now where before she would recover for weeks to months after being sick one day, now she is being sick for a week at a time with one day of being ok… luckily she only had to be rushed only once to the hospital).

On top of which, on November of 2012, I lost my job (layoff) but I thank God that I was able to find work in February 2013… but that did not last long and was laid-off again in July but again I thanked God that I was able to find work again in September 2013. The only issue is that it is away from my family, who is planning on joining me in June.

My problem is that I feel helpless as my wife is sick and getting sicker and I am stuck in another city working while my 2 teenage sons have to take care of her.

With all these issues happening, I am having a hard time maintaining my faith and feel angry. I am thankful to Him for helping me get over each hill, it just seems that the hills are turning into Mountains and that there is no end in sight and I feel beaten down.

I realize that there are other people who have it worse then I do, but then I see other people that are sinning worse then my family but are not being punished and in fact seem to be doing well and finding happiness. I know that I should not compare with others, but it is hard not too.

I’m sorry for the long rant but I feel lost.
 
It sounds as though you are going through a really hard time right now. You have my sympathies!

Perhaps it would help to do two things.

First, focus on the microcosm rather than the macrocosm. By this, I mean work on getting through each day and being the best husband and father you can be on that given day. Don’t worry about the future, and don’t dwell too much on what’s happened already. Keep yourself as busy as you can with your job and supporting your wife and kids emotionally. Have a “plan” each day for what you’re going to do: go to work, go to the gym, call your family, have dinner, read/watch a movie, pray, be in bed by X time. Focus on the next task ahead rather than the whole big picture. Wondering why these things all happened to you and your family will get you nowhere except more stressed, more worried, more depressed; it won’t give you answers.

Second, don’t focus on other families or their actions; that way lies confusion and unhappiness. For one thing, you don’t know what they might be going through, and for another, you don’t know–and might not know this side of Heaven–why you’re going through what you are right now. Sometimes life is just really hard. Our job is to get through it the best we can.

There is at least one end in sight, though, and it’s just six months away. Your family will join you in June! Remind yourself of this occasionally. I would hazard a guess that a lot of your stress and worries will be eased when you’re all in the same house together again. Make some plans to welcome them to their new city. Nothing crazy or expensive, but simple things. Figure out what to order for dinner that night, for example. If your wife loves flowers, plan on having her find a bouquet in your new home. Etc. You could do the same thing now, in fact. Order a pizza to be delivered to your old house, and call the boys and tell them that a pizza’s on the way. No teenage boy will be anything but delighted to hear that! 😉 Thank them for being such stellar young men in your absence.

As you say, He is helping you through all this. It sounds as though you’re already doing a great job of being a husband, father, and provider, and if your teenagers are chipping in to help take care of their sick mom, you’ve raised them well. 🙂 You can get through this.
 
Praying for you and your family. May God bless you all. He will help you through this.
 
The only hope that we have came through Jesus’ choice to suffer for us. According to God’s plan, there is no salvation without suffering. If we are Christian, we are parts of Christ’s Body - thus we also suffer. Yet, our Lord has shown us that suffering is not punitive, but redemptive.

I think that you might benefit greatly from Prof. Peter Kreeft’s book Making Sense Out Of Suffering.
 
I want to thank everyone for their help and advice…while I still feel upset and frustrated as my wife is still feeling terible, at time she will be seeing the doctors again and I hold out hope that they find something and way to treat it.
 
I will continue to pray and light a candle for you both

May the Lord bless and keep you,
May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
May the Lord turn towards you and give you peace.

:signofcross:
 
Here’s a life-hack that might help you. I’m going to try it as part of my New Year’s Resolution. Have a goal of doing 15 minutes of spiritual reading a day. Set a timer for 15 minutes and start reading. It’s easy to get yourself going if you tell your brain you only have to do it for 15 minutes.

-The Catholic Life Hacker
 
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