Having a marriage blessed?

[Feedmysheep]

My husband and I converted to Catholicism 3 years ago. Prior to that we weren’t really anything religious, though we were married in a Presbyterian church.

While going through RCIA, our priest told us that we wouldn’t have to have our marriage blessed. However, I’ve been thinking about it lately, particularly in light of the fact that our Presbyterian pastor who married us allowed us to cut all reference to Jesus Christ out of the wedding ceremony. Seriously. We didn’t want Christ mentioned (don’t ask, it’s been a long, strange trip to Holy Mother Church), and so He wasn’t.

I’ve asked my husband about getting our marriage blessed. He is currently not in favor of it, as he feels that it seems to be saying that our marriage thus far isn’t “good enough”. That’s not the message I’m trying to convey.

Any thoughts on this one- pro or con would be appreciated.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

People often refer to having their marriage “blessed,” but that’s not really what happens. The correct terminology is that it is convalidated. In other words, it is made valid in the Church. This is necessary if, for example, a Catholic marries outside the Church.

Your marriage is already OK and the Church recognizes it as a valid marriage. So there’s nothing to convalidate.

Perhaps if you’re coming up on a significant anniversary you could think about renewing your marriage vows.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

A few years back I had a Jewish couple come through my RCIA program. Their marriage was valid and became sacramental when they were baptized. However, they had a mass and renewed their promises at a later anniversary. Not necessary, but we all enjoyed it and had a small party afterward.

 

[1ke]

My husband and I converted to Catholicism 3 years ago. Prior to that we weren’t really anything religious, though we were married in a Presbyterian church.

While going through RCIA, our priest told us that we wouldn’t have to have our marriage blessed. However, I’ve been thinking about it lately, particularly in light of the fact that our Presbyterian pastor who married us allowed us to cut all reference to Jesus Christ out of the wedding ceremony. Seriously. We didn’t want Christ mentioned (don’t ask, it’s been a long, strange trip to Holy Mother Church), and so He wasn’t.

I’ve asked my husband about getting our marriage blessed. He is currently not in favor of it, as he feels that it seems to be saying that our marriage thus far isn’t “good enough”. That’s not the message I’m trying to convey.

Any thoughts on this one- pro or con would be appreciated.

You cannot have a marriage “blessed”. This is a misnomer. People say “blessed” when they mean convalidated. Convalidation makes an invalid marriage valid.

Your marriage is already valid, therefore you are not a candidate for convalidation.

 

[kell0618]

My husband and I converted to Catholicism 3 years ago. Prior to that we weren’t really anything religious, though we were married in a Presbyterian church.

While going through RCIA, our priest told us that we wouldn’t have to have our marriage blessed. However, I’ve been thinking about it lately, particularly in light of the fact that our Presbyterian pastor who married us allowed us to cut all reference to Jesus Christ out of the wedding ceremony. Seriously. We didn’t want Christ mentioned (don’t ask, it’s been a long, strange trip to Holy Mother Church), and so He wasn’t.

I’ve asked my husband about getting our marriage blessed. He is currently not in favor of it, as he feels that it seems to be saying that our marriage thus far isn’t “good enough”. That’s not the message I’m trying to convey.

Any thoughts on this one- pro or con would be appreciated.

As already mentioned, your marriage is indeed valid. I can understand your worries, but I assure you that you are ‘right’ in the eyes of God. As mentioned, perhaps you can do something special for an upcoming anniversary. One suggestion I have is that perhaps you can ask your priest to bless your wedding bands. Just a thought. God bless you!

 

[puzzleannie]

My husband and I converted to Catholicism 3 years ago. Prior to that we weren’t really anything religious, though we were married in a Presbyterian church.

d.

your pastor is the one who knows the situation, as long as you have been completely open and honest with him on all circumstances, so he is the one to make the decision. there are many variables so there should be a private interview with him to discuss those variables. In general, the Catholic Church recognizes the marriages of non-Catholics as valid, until proven otherwise. This assumes both parties were free to marry.

who witnessed the ceremony, where it happened, is irrelevant, as long as mutual free consent was possible and was given, the marriage is valid. If both parties were validly baptized, in any Christian faith, the marriage is also sacramental.

Those in RCIA for whom this is not the case (previous marriage or other intance that makes the marriage invalid) must take care of that situation before receiving the sacrametns. the word is “convalidation” not blessing. In essence the couple is marrying for the first time.

now if you would like to do something special, such has renew your vows and ask for a blessing on the occasion of your anniversary for instance (followed by a reception if you want) that is entirely possible and appropriate, but not necessary.

 

[Feedmysheep]

Thanks all. As usual, prudent and helpful advice.

 

[Brooklyn]

You have received excellent advice. My husband and I just returned to the church after leaving it many, many years ago. Since we were both baptized and confirmed, and were married outside the church, we had to have our marriage convalidated. Butu since you are both converts, your marriage was counted as sacramental. The only time a marriage needs convalidation is when one or both the partners are Catholic and married outside the Church.

Mary