Having a Mass said for the living

[Casey315]

I want to have a Mass said for our son and daughter-in-law who have stopped going to Mass and Confession. How should the request be worded and how will it be uttered at Mass by the priest?

 

[anonymous_in_fl]

You may ask to have the mass said for your intentions. The priest will say something like: Today’s mass is for the intentions of Mary Smith".

 

[utah_rose]

At our parish, they’re actually saying Masses for the conversions of x and y, saying their real names, but I don’t know if this is a norm or not. I too have been thinking of having Mass said for my daughter for the same reason as you.

 

[CB_Catholic]

At our parish, they’re actually saying Masses for the conversions of x and y, saying their real names, but I don’t know if this is a norm or not. I too have been thinking of having Mass said for my daughter for the same reason as you.

It shouldn’t be the norm. It’s a major invasion of privacy.

 

[1ke]

List them however you wish.

You can simply say, “for X and Y” (usually the mass intention form has a check mark for living or deceased).

You can say, “for a special intention”.

You can say something else. You can ask your pastor what he thinks.

 

[Mary_Ellen]

Masses for the living in our parish are stated as “for the health and salvation of X.” We have them said not infrequently for those who are ill or as birthday “gifts.”

I agree that to say “for the conversion of X” is a serious violation of privacy. Also, how would you feel if you went to a church and found out every person there was praying for you, specifically, and for your conversion to their faith?

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

It shouldn’t be the norm. It’s a major invasion of privacy.

It is? If you can have an intention of someone who has cancer or is ill why not someone who is ill in the soul…?

 

[pianistclare]

We just list the name. No explanations.

 

[CB_Catholic]

It is? If you can have an intention of someone who has cancer or is ill why not someone who is ill in the soul…?

You should not be naming people publicly for prayer intentions, even if it is for illness without their permission. That is confidential information. Some people do not want their illnesses and troubles publicized–it is only courteous to ask if you may place them on a prayer list or pray for them by name in a prayer meeting.

As far as what you call “ill in the soul”–everyone has the right to have their religious sensibilities kept private. We have no business announcing to others that so-and-so needs conversion, or is an atheist, or joined another Church, etc.

People have a right to their privacy and their choices, even if we don’t agree. If you want to pray for these people, keep their names to yourself and just say something like “I want to pray for a family member” or “I have a special intention”. God knows who we mean, we do not need to give names for the prayer to be effective. Now if a person asks for you to pray for them publicly, that is ok.

I have been to prayer meetings where people give others’ names and say things like “Ben Jones is an alcoholic and needs our prayers” etc., or “Mamie Smith left the Church and needs our prayers.” That is not acceptable, and actually can be gossip.

There is no arguing this–every one is entitled to their privacy and we cannot usurp that right. If my parish was naming people by name and praying for their conversion or whatever without their permission, a visit to the pastor and a letter to the Bishop would be forthcoming.

In my parish, everyone on our prayer list is on it with permission, and we also have a private phone number one can call for personal intentions they do not want publicized. We do not state that they are ill or whatever.

Parishes have to also follow government HIPPA regulations.

 

[utah_rose]

Our parish has a lot of Hispanics in it, and usually the prayer intentions for Masses are from them. I’ think they may be a son or daughter, as it seems the families here are closely entwined. Maybe the people involved aren’t even living in this area or perhaps it’s a cultural thing. But the names are published. Our pastor is from the Phillipines and perhaps publish the names there. X and Y though have been having a lot of Masses said for their intention through the last month. It would be interesting to hear if others have had the same experiences.

 

[elmerm]

I want to have a Mass said for our son and daughter-in-law who have stopped going to Mass and Confession. How should the request be worded and how will it be uttered at Mass by the priest?

In the Extraordinary Form of the Roman Rite, the priest prays the Commemoratio pro vivis (Commemoration of the living) in a secret (i.e., inaudible) voice. The Commemoration forms part of the Roman Canon or Eucharistic Prayer. I thought of sharing this with you because it is not only an ancient prayer but it’s also a very beautiful prayer. Here are the words:

Meménto, Dómine, famulórum famularúmque tuarum N. et N. Iungit manus, orat aliquantulum pro quibus orare intendit: deinde manibus extensis prosequitur: et ómnium circumstántium, quorum tibi fides cógnita est et nota devótio, pro quibus tibi offérimus: vel qui tibi ófferunt hoc sacrifícium laudis, pro se suísque ómnibus: pro redemptióne animárum suárum, pro spe salútis et incolumitátis suæ: tibíque reddunt vota sua ætérno Deo, vivo et vero.

(Be mindful, O Lord, of Thy servants and handmaidens, N. et N. The priest joins his hands and prays silently for those for whom he intends to pray. Then extending his hands, he proceeds: and of all here present, whose faith and devotion are known unto Thee, for whom we offer, or who offer up to Thee, this sacrifice of praise for themselves, their families and friends, for the redemption of their souls, for the health and salvation they hope for; and who now pay their vows to Thee, the everlasting, living and true God.)

There’s also a corresponding Commemoratio pro defunctis (Commemoration of the dead) after the Consecration. Specific names may be mentioned by the priest there, too.

I usually approach the priest before Mass to ask him to pray for so and so – both living and dead. The Commemoration text itself indicates that the priest prays for the faithful offering up their respective intentions – whether publicly listed/registered prior to Mass or not – and for those whom the faithful pray for (e.g., themselves, families, and friends). I personally don’t find it necessary to mention the specific intention when submitting my Mass intentions; only the names suffice.

During the Mass itself, I won’t be able to hear the names mentioned anyway because the priest says the Eucharistic Prayer secretly.

 

[otjm]

Our parish has a lot of Hispanics in it, and usually the prayer intentions for Masses are from them. I’ think they may be a son or daughter, as it seems the families here are closely entwined. Maybe the people involved aren’t even living in this area or perhaps it’s a cultural thing. But the names are published. Our pastor is from the Phillipines and perhaps publish the names there. X and Y though have been having a lot of Masses said for their intention through the last month. It would be interesting to hear if others have had the same experiences.

I think Spanish Forks also has a lot of Hispanics.

Publishing the names is fine; publishing the “why” is not only unnecessary, but as noted, can be gossip.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

You should not be naming people publicly for prayer intentions, even if it is for illness without their permission. That is confidential information. Some people do not want their illnesses and troubles publicized–it is only courteous to ask if you may place them on a prayer list or pray for them by name in a prayer meeting.

As far as what you call “ill in the soul”–everyone has the right to have their religious sensibilities kept private. We have no business announcing to others that so-and-so needs conversion, or is an atheist, or joined another Church, etc.

People have a right to their privacy and their choices, even if we don’t agree. If you want to pray for these people, keep their names to yourself and just say something like “I want to pray for a family member” or “I have a special intention”. God knows who we mean, we do not need to give names for the prayer to be effective. Now if a person asks for you to pray for them publicly, that is ok.

I have been to prayer meetings where people give others’ names and say things like “Ben Jones is an alcoholic and needs our prayers” etc., or “Mamie Smith left the Church and needs our prayers.” That is not acceptable, and actually can be gossip.

There is no arguing this–every one is entitled to their privacy and we cannot usurp that right. If my parish was naming people by name and praying for their conversion or whatever without their permission, a visit to the pastor and a letter to the Bishop would be forthcoming.

In my parish, everyone on our prayer list is on it with permission, and we also have a private phone number one can call for personal intentions they do not want publicized. We do not state that they are ill or whatever.

Parishes have to also follow government HIPPA regulations.

But this is one of those things that is contrary to the idea of “communion”
As is the fad these days, many Catholic parishes have taken to the warm and fuzzy idea of calling themselves “communities” If that were really true, then the act of praying for someone with an illness or problem is what we would be called to do. Such is the way of the early Church. Of course gossip should be avoided, but I find no problem with a grandma praying publicly by name for the return to the saving Church of her grandson.
Admittedly we modern Americans have this idea of “privacy” which is misplaced in the day and age of Facebook and social media. One thinks nothing of posting or starting a page for a friend with cancer, but asking a church to pray for someone is taboo. My oh my are our ideas misplaced!

Confession used to be public! But now, don’t you dare start a prayer chain or have a sacrifice offered for Mrs. Johnson’s wiccan lesbian daughter…

We are fast seeing our ideas of privacy eroded and tossed away. And yet the one place where a lack of privacy does some good, we grimace at the thought.

 

[otjm]

But this is one of those things that is contrary to the idea of “communion”
As is the fad these days, many Catholic parishes have taken to the warm and fuzzy idea of calling themselves “communities” If that were really true, then the act of praying for someone with an illness or problem is what we would be called to do. Such is the way of the early Church. Of course gossip should be avoided, but I find no problem with a grandma praying publicly by name for the return to the saving Church of her grandson.
Admittedly we modern Americans have this idea of “privacy” which is misplaced in the day and age of Facebook and social media. One thinks nothing of posting or starting a page for a friend with cancer, but asking a church to pray for someone is taboo. My oh my are our ideas misplaced!

Confession used to be public! But now, don’t you dare start a prayer chain or have a sacrifice offered for Mrs. Johnson’s wiccan lesbian daughter…

We are fast seeing our ideas of privacy eroded and tossed away. And yet the one place where a lack of privacy does some good, we grimace at the thought.

So you are saying that a request for prayers for “Mrs. Johnson’s daughter” are nowhere near as efficacious as asking for prayers for her “wiccan lesbian daughter”?

I guess the more salacious the matter, the more prayers, right?

Or is it that you think that some people need to grovel in the salacious?