Having a nicely decorated house........?

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I have a poorly decorated house. It’s actually a bit shabby. I love to watch home improvement shows…thinking, someday… because my focus right now is living on our one income and rearing our kids.

Though I rebel often about living in my house, God has shown me in both in the logic of my life and in a private revelation that I’m supposed to live here. It’s just small and rundown, and I’ve always wanted to live in a large house. Plus, I think the close living conditions sometimes cause stress among my kids.

But, I seriously don’t know how this fits in. I don’t think it’s a sin to have a nicely decorated house, but what is the most spiritually beneficial attitude. After basic comfort and hospitality, how much time,energy, and money should go to making your house pretty? After all, the house I live in is temporary. Should it just be very simple?

So, please share your thoughts on home decoration. What is the most perfect spiritual attitude towards it?
 
Hi Leonie,
I was told when my kids were young don’t decorate or get anything until they were older. Then I was told when my kids were in late elementary school, when I mentioned replacing a beat up olive green velvet thing from the 60’s… not to do anything until after the kids were out of the house! We ended up replacing the velvet thing when my oldest broke out in hives from who knows what was living there :eek:. But the teen boys are quite messy and heavy on the furniture… wise advice I got then…
We will re-valuate in 5 years when the youngest is gone… but even then, it will be quite simple.
I think as Christians, we need to make good use of what we have, be thankful for it, and not think too much about it… … I say that as one who spent much time in the past (OK, and sometimes in the present 😊) jealous over what other people have. What can I say except I’m working on it.🤷
 
i have a large house, and find it a distraction from serving God
i get so caught up in my house that i forget about God
 
There is no sin in having a nice house as long as you have paid for it with ‘clean’ money, and you do not get your self worth from it. ie attitudes such as I am better because I have a nice house are sinful

As for the home improvement shows, they know exactly what they are doing and it is working. They portray it in such a way that it makes people buy into the idea that a nice house brings a lot more happiness. But think about it. Is the house always going to look like the one on TV? Are your kids not going to leave toys and clothes all over the place. Even if you didn’t have kids, the paint would fade and depending on the colour it could get outdated and very ugly looking in 5 years. Not to mention, nice looking couches and chairs are often extremely uncomfortable to sit in. Nice looking shelves tend to be annoying to store things in. Is it going to be liveable? When guest come over are you going to enjoy their company or secretly hope they don’t spill a drink on your expensive carpet?

We all have struggles in life that manifest themselves in different ways. My suggestion, pray to God. Thank him for the roof over your head and ask him ‘Why this desire to have a nice house?’ Who know what he will come up with, it could be something like he wants you to move into a new neighbourhood because there is a mission for you there. Perhaps he is hinting that interior decarating might be a career for you when your kids grow up. Perhaps he wants you to learn if you work hard and save your money you can have rewards such as a nice house. Who knows. It is really easy to get caught up in wanting something we don’t have. God wants to help you with that

CM
 
A Catholic home should be a haven of love for the family who lives in it and anyone who visits. It doesn’t matter if it’s shabby or a showplace, it’s the love that makes it beautiful.

A beautiful home is morally neutral. It’s your motive for having it that matters. Do you want a beautiful home to keep up with the neighbors or the people on TV? Or do you want it as a service to your family and visitors? I won’t be comfortable if I visit you and am afraid of what might crawl out of the couch or that the ceiling will fall on me. You can’t bring anyone to Christ under those conditions. But if I visit your modestly decorated, bright, cheerful home, I’ll be happy to be there and to learn from you and your family about the love of God.

I have some friends I’ve known for 25 years or so. When they first moved to my area, they had 7 children at home. Their furniture was a cobbled-together collection of hand-me-downs. Their bookshelves were (still are) cinder blocks and boards. I was a frequent visitor for lunch after Sunday Mass. They usually served a tureen of Campbell’s vegetable soup, watered down so there’d be enough for everyone, some kind of bread, and some kind of fruit. It was a good 15 years before they got a normal couch in the living room. One person can work in the kitchen at a time. And yet, there’s no place I’d rather visit. The love is palpable and the conversation is very elevated - we talk of history, politics, music and art, and the love of God shines through everything. It’s clean and comfortable, if not stylish. Everyone is welcome. Everyone is happy. That’s a real home.

Betsy
 
leonie said:
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So, please share your thoughts on home decoration. What is the most perfect spiritual attitude towards it?
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I think the attitude toward our duties as householders and housewives in general is perfectly stated in the Holy Rule of St. Benedict, one of whose charisms is hospitality. The house is our monastery so it should be run with order, cleanliness and above all hospitality so all who live there may be best freed to do their own work in praising and serving God, and all may be welcome there. The tools of the kitchen, garden, library or other work are to be treated with the same care as the vessels of the altar, so it is a good rather than a negative to do all you can to keep your home clean, well-maintaned, with each room furnished suited to its purpose, inviting, pleasant and a real home.

we spent the 1st 17 years of our marriage (after 3 yrs of various tiny inner city apartments) in a 2 br bungalow (kids stashed in the refurbished attic) on a tiny city lot on the fringes of Cleveland’s ghetto. Our kids walked to their Catholic school, had paper routes, were friends with the children of government workers, factory workers, truckers, welfare recipients, retirees, drug dealers, better, and worse, among whom were represented at least a dozen of the ethnic groups which enrich that city’s culture. They grew up street smart but also very accepting of what is now called diversity. Their remembrance of “the old neighborhood” is all favorable, they remember the yard as being huge, the broken down garage as the center of their play, each friend, each dog, each old lady and who had the best cookies, and the cherished cul de sac where they learned to play so many games, the vacant lot was their “woods” and even had its own creek, a drainage ditch.

we spent years saving and moving up, finally to a 5M sf home in the burbs, which was a great house for teens as they were then, but when they all moved out and we went into a double wide it was with a sigh of relief.

rule no. 1 about houses, and it applies to yards, garages, basements, as well, the bigger the space the more time it takes to clean, and the more c - r - a- p accumulates. C---- is the biggest time waster, money absorber, distraction and spiritual danger that surrounds us today in my experience.
 
Thanks for your comments. Again, I don’t think it’s a sin to have a beautiful house. I don’t believe it’s a moral matter (when done in moderation).

I’m more concerned with the more spiritually pleasing attitude to God.

I really like the thought about hospitality. I don’t like to have people over because the house looks so bad.

Plus, this is weird: people keep giving us money. I know that’s weird. But, I think we look poor to them because we put our money into other things than house upkeep. For one thing, we’ve been working to pay off our stupid credit cards. And, then there’s the kids’ activities/retreats, etc.

It’s very humilitating when this happens. Last week, we received an anonymous gift of $200. My husband was actually mad about it. We passed it on to a legitimately poor person. One day, a good intentioned person dropped unneeded bags and bags of groceries, blankets and hats and gloves to us on our porch.

My daughter said, “Are we the poorest people they know?” We aren’t poor at all.

I think it’s just that fact that the house is small, the family is largish, and the house looks so rundown. My dh has been laid off off and on, but we are doing fine.

I’m going to meditate on this a little this week. Maybe it’s giving scandal that the house is so rundown looking because it makes people think that having a large family causes poverty.
 
You are suffering from a mild case of Envy my dear. Try to nip it early so that it does not become a real problem.
Begin by listing, not all that you don’t have but all that you do.
A Roof, 4 walls, Heat, Food, a good and loving and healthy family.

Next look around at your home. Is it clean? Tidy? Is there laughter in it? Is there Prayer in it?

Finally, as you watch these home improvement shows (and I do too quite a bit) note how financially strung out some of the people become in trying to get their big house and beautifully decorated rooms. Is this how you truly wish to live?
Or would you perhaps prefer to live in a smaller house, and have monies available to help your children, the poor, those in catastrophes such as Haiti.

My guess is that you already have your priorities pretty straight and you already thank God every day for what you have. That you love your family and your life. You’ve just been caught up a little in the, “wouldn’t it be nice if we could have…”, syndrome.

I remember that my Aunt use to have a poem in her kitchen that talked about how she didn’t have time to keep a perfect house, that the dishes weren’t always done and so forth because there was a child that needed to be rocked. (She raised 8 great kids)
I sometimes wich I could find that poem - We can all use such reminders.

Finally - I don’t think that wanting nice things is wrong. Each thing we have can represent a pleasent memory, a gift from a child or friend and so forth. What can become a problem is when we must be “in style”. I grew up in a house where my folks lived for 44 years. When they moved out the kitchen was the same as when they moved in. Even the same linoleum on the floor, same stove, different fridge of course. Everything worked. There was no need to change anything. Now I see people on these home improvement shows complain if they have to buy a house with a kitchen that is 10 or 15 years old.

Sorry to ramble on so. The ling and short of it all is -
Be greatful for all that you have now.
Take care of what you have now.
Thank God every day for His blessings.

Peace
James
 
leonie said:
Thanks for your comments. Again, I don’t think it’s a sin to have a beautiful house. I don’t believe it’s a moral matter (when done in moderation).

I’m more concerned with the more spiritually pleasing attitude to God.

I really like the thought about hospitality. I don’t like to have people over because the house looks so bad.

Plus, this is weird: people keep giving us money. I know that’s weird. But, I think we look poor to them because we put our money into other things than house upkeep. For one thing, we’ve been working to pay off our stupid credit cards. And, then there’s the kids’ activities/retreats, etc.

It’s very humilitating when this happens. Last week, we received an anonymous gift of $200. My husband was actually mad about it. We passed it on to a legitimately poor person. One day, a good intentioned person dropped unneeded bags and bags of groceries, blankets and hats and gloves to us on our porch.

My daughter said, “Are we the poorest people they know?” We aren’t poor at all.

I think it’s just that fact that the house is small, the family is largish, and the house looks so rundown. My dh has been laid off off and on, but we are doing fine.

I’m going to meditate on this a little this week. Maybe it’s giving scandal that the house is so rundown looking because it makes people think that having a large family causes poverty.
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Please tell your husband not to be mad. The person who sent the money was obviously acting in a charitable way and is building their treasure in heaven. You did just the right thing since you obviously felt you could not keep the money. You passed on the charity. The same could be said about the groceries and stuff left on the porch.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to let others know that, dispite the outward appearances, you are not in trouble financially, that you appreciate everyones concern and just simply ask them for prayers.

Peace
James
 
leonie said:
I have a poorly decorated house. It’s actually a bit shabby. I love to watch home improvement shows…thinking, someday… because my focus right now is living on our one income and rearing our kids.

Though I rebel often about living in my house, God has shown me in both in the logic of my life and in a private revelation that I’m supposed to live here. It’s just small and rundown, and I’ve always wanted to live in a large house. Plus, I think the close living conditions sometimes cause stress among my kids.

But, I seriously don’t know how this fits in. I don’t think it’s a sin to have a nicely decorated house, but what is the most spiritually beneficial attitude. After basic comfort and hospitality, how much time,energy, and money should go to making your house pretty? After all, the house I live in is temporary. Should it just be very simple?

So, please share your thoughts on home decoration. What is the most perfect spiritual attitude towards it?
Click to expand...
I’m with your husband on this one.
 
I guess I see things differently. Maybe not, maybe so.

God has blessed me with a home. I am going to try my best to keep it looking nice, etc all for gratefullness to Him.

I find that when something starts looking horrible, it affects me spiritually…yes, like clutter…clutter can affect your emotions and thus affect you spiritually.

A gallon of paint is not too much money. A weekend to paint the outside of the house it is a good project that can teach kids about taking care of something you own. A few boards broken on the deck? Replace them one at a time…

I don’t know…I’m not saying buy a huge house to keep up with the Jones and go extremely in debt…I’m not saying go take out a loan for a new concrete driveway…but definitely fix and take care of your home…
 
why not target one thing that bothers you the most, or which would give you the most satisfaction if it was done, and save to take care of that job first. For instance, in our old house we could not paint the house, but I asked my husband to paint the front door and the porch railings, and it made a huge difference. Another year I got him to repair the garage door, something that was just bugging me (it hung on one hinge and looked derelict) and it made the whole yard look better. I have made every set of curtains or drapes I ever had, a very satisfying and easy sewing job, and it just gives me such a good feeling to transform a room that way.
 
JRKH said:
I remember that my Aunt use to have a poem in her kitchen that talked about how she didn’t have time to keep a perfect house, that the dishes weren’t always done and so forth because there was a child that needed to be rocked. (She raised 8 great kids)
I sometimes wich I could find that poem - We can all use such reminders.
Click to expand...
Is this it?

Song for a Fifth Child

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
and out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
but I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
 
Viki63 said:
Is this it?

Song for a Fifth Child

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
and out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
but I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
Click to expand...
I don’t think that is the one, but I like it too.

Peace
James
 
I think there is a difference between taking care of what you have, particularly an investment like a house, and doing things out of envy and/or pride. IMO there’s nothing wrong with having nice things and maintaining your property, keeping your investment up. You don’t want to live in a shack with leaking ceilings and walls falling down, holes in the floor, etc. If you’re lucky enough to own a house you should take care of it.

At the same time, you shouldn’t go to the extreme of spending unnecessarily or wasting resources that could go elsewhere.

If we are called to have a family, we should remember that we are charged to take care of that family first and foremost. Maintaining a safe home is part of that.
 
thomasf said:
I think there is a difference between taking care of what you have, particularly an investment like a house, and doing things out of envy and/or pride. IMO there’s nothing wrong with having nice things and maintaining your property, keeping your investment up. You don’t want to live in a shack with leaking ceilings and walls falling down, holes in the floor, etc. If you’re lucky enough to own a house you should take care of it.

At the same time, you shouldn’t go to the extreme of spending unnecessarily or wasting resources that could go elsewhere.

If we are called to have a family, we should remember that we are charged to take care of that family first and foremost. Maintaining a safe home is part of that.
Click to expand...
👍
 
Some good advise re: simply caring for what you have.

I’m convinced that the best things that we can decorate our houses with are:
Life, Light, Love, and Laughter.

A house filled with these will rarely seem small, and any who visit will quickly lose sight of anything that is “not up to date” so to speak. They will be too busy enjoying themselves with the occupants.

Peace
James
 
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