Having a problem

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johnthebaptist1

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My son Daniel, has a adduitude toward me,his father.I was taught,that as long,as

you live with your parents, no matter what age, you respected them, and not have

a adduitude,toward them, because you don,t like the rules.

It has now come too the point, were he’ell throw something at me, if I get him mad,

and than I end up going after him, and we fight. I know that my son was taken away,

when he was 12 yrs old and return too us when he was18 yrs old, he,s now 21 yrs

old and has O C D.

MY problem is that ,I LOVE my LORD, and feel bad that, I can,t do what OUR LORD,

want me too do,“LOVE OTHERS AS I LOVE YOU”. I try hard too be a good person,

and show LOVE too them. I know that my LORD came too save me a sinner.and he

knows my faults and, all my LORD whats is too, tell him that I LOVE him. So, is it true,

that as long as I put all my LOVE & FAITH, in JESUS,I can be saved. Jesus has said

many times"YOUR FAITH IN ME WELL SAVE YOUR SOUL.

I hope that my feelings telling you this,well help me feel much better.🙂
 
johnthebaptist1 said:
My son Daniel, has a adduitude toward me,his father.I was taught,that as long,as

you live with your parents, no matter what age, you respected them, and not have

a adduitude,toward them, because you don,t like the rules.

It has now come too the point, were he’ell throw something at me, if I get him mad,

and than I end up going after him, and we fight. I know that my son was taken away,

when he was 12 yrs old and return too us when he was18 yrs old, he,s now 21 yrs

old and has O C D.

MY problem is that ,I LOVE my LORD, and feel bad that, I can,t do what OUR LORD,

want me too do,“LOVE OTHERS AS I LOVE YOU”. I try hard too be a good person,

and show LOVE too them. I know that my LORD came too save me a sinner.and he

knows my faults and, all my LORD whats is too, tell him that I LOVE him. So, is it true,

that as long as I put all my LOVE & FAITH, in JESUS,I can be saved. Jesus has said

many times"YOUR FAITH IN ME WELL SAVE YOUR SOUL.

I hope that my feelings telling you this,well help me feel much better.🙂
Click to expand...
I would recommend talking to a counselor (psychologist, psychiatrist, priest/pastoral minister).
 
I sympathize with your plight - I really do because I drove my son away by my actions and temper…

I have little to offer except this. You are right that you deserve respect, but so does he. He is 21, an adult by any measure. So when you are considering the matter of Loving (love your neighbor as you love yourself) please consider how you wish to be treated, and how you treat yourself.

Then do as previously advised and talk to a councillor.

Peace
James
 
What you call an “attitude” can stem from what you failed to mention happened between 12 and 18. But you’re right, he ought to respect you and to keep from making his possible resentment or bitterness towards you manifest, so you can feel better as you poignantly pointed out.
 
With all due respect to other posters who are offering kind but perhaps overly specific advice out of concern for you,

I would repeat what some others have said here:

Please go see a professional! Someone who can help you sort all this out in person rather than in an internet forum.
 
Knowing nothing more of your situation than what you have posted, may I suggest the following course of action?

(I am not suggesting that you are not already a great father or that any of this situation is your fault).

First, pray to God for help in being a better father. As St. Joesph to pray for you as well.

Second, listen to your son. Don’t badger him with questions or preach to him about rules. But listen to what he has to say and acknowledge that you have heard him. For example, you come home from work and your son is watching TV. You say something like, “Hello son, how was your day?” To which he replies, something like, “Buzz off old man, I’m watching TV.” You acknowledge that you have heard him by saying something like, “Enjoy your program.” And then leave it alone. He may have some sarcastic response to get in the last word. If so, don’t respond. Just leave it alone. Continue to do this and see if your son doesn’t start to say a little more over time. As he does, you continue to acknowledge that you have heard what he said and understand how he feels. You don’t have to agree with his feelings, but you should always acknowledge your understanding.

Then pray some more that God will improve your relationship with your son and that He will help you to improve as a father.

Try this every day for a month and see if it produces positive results. Again, no badgering, no preaching, no judging, just listening and letting him know you are listening.

And, let me say again, I am not suggesting that you are not already a great father or that any of this situation is your fault. I am only suggesting that it may be within your power to make this situation better.

I will pray for you as well.
 
@adv1sor I don’t know if you’re a man or a woman but I’ll say this: if I had had a mother or a father of your quality, my walk in life would be a breeze and my relationship to God would be much easier and less strained. I hope God blesses you continually.
 
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