Having a sad day...could use a prayer from you

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I have a really hard time when I don’t see hubby much so I totally get where you’re coming from. Prayers for your family.:gopray:
 
rayne89 said:
I have a really hard time when I don’t see hubby much so I totally get where you’re coming from. Prayers for your family.:gopray:
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Yes, I’m thinking this is it, and he had a job where he traveled A LOT in Pittsburgh, BUT…I had a support system there. I have no family here in Tampa. Everyone is miles away. So, in thinking it all through, that is why it didn’t ‘get to me’ as much in Pittsburgh, I could jump in the car and in 5 minutes…be with his mom, or one of his brothers/sisters. The weather was bad…like once Feb hits, and it’s still cold and snowy…it can get depressing. lol I don’t know if moving back is the ‘answer,’ but I am just feeling unsettled here. Like we are on this extended vacation, and any day now, we’re going to go ‘back’ to home…like this isn’t meant to be home. The only thing I’ll say, is that dd found an awesome guitar teacher, both kids have made some nice friends, and we found a great parish. I am very ‘into’ parish life, so that helps immensely! But, not seeing dh…it can get lonely.😦
 
Well you know how people retire to FL (in NY it’s the “law” LOL), maybe you can retire to PA 😉

You’ll find the answer soon enough.
 
This isn’t a solution to your exact problem…but if you are missing a feeling of “home” I would suggest Eucharistic adoration (that is, if this isn’t already a part of your routine). If you can find a small chapel that is open during hours that work for you…I dunno…there is just something about adoration that makes me feel “home.” I had a thought shortly after I had started visiting an adoration chapel, that I could go anywhere in the world and if I could step into adoration, I would never feel homesick again. Since going to adoration regularly, I started to notice that I had an easier time accepting “change” and I used to have a very anxious phobia of any sort of change. It is kind of like the feeling of going to a Catholic mass, but more concetrated. To know that Christ is present everywhere in the world, and at anytime has really made a difference in my life and to my sense of self and feeling grounded. I am probably not making a good connection between your problem and my suggestion… its a feeling that is hard to put into words I guess.
 
I’m sorry WG! :console: I have plenty of “missing Indy” days. I don’t have many words except that I understand what that’s like. I will pray for you. :hug3:
 
MercyMia said:
This isn’t a solution to your exact problem…but if you are missing a feeling of “home” I would suggest Eucharistic adoration (that is, if this isn’t already a part of your routine). If you can find a small chapel that is open during hours that work for you…I dunno…there is just something about adoration that makes me feel “home.” I had a thought shortly after I had started visiting an adoration chapel, that I could go anywhere in the world and if I could step into adoration, I would never feel homesick again. Since going to adoration regularly, I started to notice that I had an easier time accepting “change” and I used to have a very anxious phobia of any sort of change. It is kind of like the feeling of going to a Catholic mass, but more concetrated. To know that Christ is present everywhere in the world, and at anytime has really made a difference in my life and to my sense of self and feeling grounded. I am probably not making a good connection between your problem and my suggestion… its a feeling that is hard to put into words I guess.
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I might do this. It is not the parish we belong to, we don’t even have a church building, yet…so because of the lack of facilities, we don’t have adoration. But, the prior parish we attended, does…I have been, and don’t attend enough. I agree, and I feel at ease when I pray the Rosary…maybe I need to pray it twice, daily. Seriously. :o
 
Hi,

I know where you’re coming from. In my husband’s line of work (TV news) you go where the job is, if you’re lucky enough to find one (especially today!) That meant leaving both of our families in New England and moving to extreme southern Alabama. Except for 3 wonderful years in Virginia (where we were at least within driving distance of family) that’s where we’ve been ever since.

His schedule meant that, when the girls were little and in school, they only saw him for a few moments before school in the morning, and on weekends. He had to sleep in, as he didn’t get home until after 11 and had to have his wits about him for two newscasts a night. I was up early, drove the girls to school, etc.; it wasn’t easy. I had several years where I was just plain angry that our girls rarely got to spend time with my parents (my mom was terrified of flying) or their few cousins. My in-laws visited a couple times a year, and we traveled up in the summer, but it was far different from the childhood I had with family close by. My elderly dad still lives in Massachusetts and we talk often and get up there 2-3 times a year now, even if for short visits. He’s the only parent left.

I finally realized that nothing is perfect. If dh is to stay employed in his field (we’re about 9 years from retirement, Lord willing) it will likely be here. There are exceedingly few jobs in TV news, and we have been blessed. It’s not one of those fields where you can simply pick up and move where you want, ordinarily.

Our older daughter and her husband are in Berkeley now for his postdoc for at least 2 years; they are good about visiting us, and we them. Younger dd and her husband are here in town - praise God! - in graduate school for the next 4 years.

I do not necessarily subscribe to the notion that it is more important that one of you be with the kids, than with each other. I believe that married couples must make nurturing that relationship a priority; family well-being flows from that marital relationship.

It’s time for a real heart to heart. What is most important? How wedded to the Disney job is your husband? Is your job portable? (I think you have posted that it is.) As you have these recurring feelings of sadness, I’d look into the possibility of clinical depression, as well.

God bless you; I’ll be saying prayers.
 
*Thanks for your thoughts dixie…I don’t believe I’m clinically depressed, as these feelings seemed to have started over the past year, the ups and downs of missing PA, and adjusting to an entirely different life. I just don’t think the south is ‘me.’ I know that home is where family is, but we have endured so much change in a capsule size of time, it seems…and not change, like in good change. So many changes within my job, we moved twice in the past two years, the kids starting new schools, hubby’s schedules with work, and lump that together with heat, and no family around…I am wondering if we made the right decision. I thought so at the time, but this past year has been rough. *
 
Don’t get legalistic on your emotions - not everyone feels happy all the time. Maybe you need to come to terms with certain things. Just said a prayer for you. Chin up, things like that don’t last forever. 😉
 
*I think in talking things through with my dh just now…it feels like life got harder since moving to Florida. In order to find good schools, (and we researched like crazy before moving) we had to move further away from Tampa/Clearwater …so I have a longer commute, pay tolls, sit in traffic much longer than I did in PA…I want my life to get easier, not harder. My husband is working constantly…he seems to like Disney, but is this what living is about…working, and never seeing each other? He misses us also, and so it is what it is.

But, that is how I’d sum it up. On the one hand, in PA–we dealth with blizzards, and ‘white outs’ when driving…but honestly? The traffic in Tampa is like a slowdown on a wintery day in PA. Only EVERY DAY. And you think…ah, the traffic, I’ll deal with it. But, when you’re doing it day in, day out…and when at the end of the day, you’re not coming out ahead financially…and you took your kids away from all they knew, and who they knew…to come to a place that after 2 years you don’t like much…it makes you feel really bad. :bighanky: I guess no experience is without its positives, and no experience leaves us not learning anything–that I know. So, what was I supposed to learn here? (I ask God this, sometimes)

Thanks for listening everyone. You’ve been helpful to me, to at least ‘get this out.’*
 
whatevergirl said:
*What do you mean, ‘legalistic’ on emotions, chev? *
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Thinking too much about how right or wrong you are for feeling this or that way if it’s just an emotion and not something that shapes your will and actions. 😉
 
*Ah, I see…okay, well…too late, I’ve been this way my whole life. 😊 Never too late to change, I guess. lol

Dh seems to be good with the idea of possibly moving back to Pittsburgh. I talked to my MIL this evening, she puts everything into perspective so nicely. She said that I shouldn’t look at moving to FL as a bad move or anything, but rather God wanted us to have that experience, and grow from it. She said the kids grew too in ways that maybe staying in PA all this time wouldn’t have given them. So…she has a point.

And above all she said…pray pray pray. The Holy Spirit will guide you. The Holy Spirit guided us to Florida, I do believe that, but in some ways, I wonder if I took for granted all that we had in PA…namely, I took for granted what a Catholic city it is! I miss that. I miss our old neighbors, and relatives who were just blocks away. I guess I didn’t realize the importance of it all, until we moved so far from it.

Thank you for your prayer, chev…and thank you to everyone for your prayers and insights.*
 
I love the snow- I hate that I get hardly any here in NC. I have heard good things about Pittsburgh- maybe my wife and I should consider moving there next.

I would like to be in a city with good public transportation. I don’t know how Pittsburgh is in this area. . .

I actually wouldn’t mind moving to Minneapolis-St. Paul but my wife sais it’s too cold.
 
Feanor2 said:
I love the snow- I hate that I get hardly any here in NC. I have heard good things about Pittsburgh- maybe my wife and I should consider moving there next.

I would like to be in a city with good public transportation. I don’t know how Pittsburgh is in this area. . .

I actually wouldn’t mind moving to Minneapolis-St. Paul but my wife sais it’s too cold.
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Pittsburgh is great on public transportation, actually. They have the ‘t’ which is a trolley like service, they have a subway system, and also a lot of buses that travel from the city to the suburbs. So, they got ya covered. 🙂
 
whatevergirl said:
Pittsburgh is great on public transportation, actually. They have the ‘t’ which is a trolley like service, they have a subway system, and also a lot of buses that travel from the city to the suburbs. So, they got ya covered. 🙂
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Ah maybe so. Something tells me I would like it better than Philly- closer to the mountains- maybe a bit cooler. My wife and I are here in NC for the next 3-4 years until her research grant runs out then it is to somewhere else. We shall see- plus I do like the Steelers so. . .

It’s funny it sounds as if I am in the same place as you in that the family moves where the spouse with the more highly specified job finds work. I am a therapist so I can work anywhere.

I told my wife the places we COULD NOT move to which included the deeper South and anywhere that did not have all four seasons. .
 
*Hi Feanor–this whole thing came about rather oddly. We lived in Pittsburgh, for nearly 11 years. About 3 years ago, I was asked by my current employer, to take over the Florida region. I’m in sales/marketing. Ok…well, the next thing I know, they ask me to give a presentation to the Florida region. I fly there with my boss…back in 06. The regional head walks up to me and asks me if I’d ever consider moving back. (my dh and I lived in Orlando prior to moving to Pittsburgh) I said…let me discuss with my husband. My husband grew up in Pittsburgh, but loathes the winters. So…we moved “back”…I got a promotion, everything seemed to fall into place so easily. It had to be God’s will. And I think it was, but until you actually LIVE somewhere, you don’t know what it might be like, you know? I love where we live here, and there are pluses. But, I miss the change of seasons, I miss the hometown feeling of Pittsburgh, and a sense of loyalty and pride that Pittsburghers have. I don’t sense that in Florida, it’s so transient. I guess no place is utopia. Well, heaven is! 🙂 lol

PS–You are a stay at home dad, right? I remember your threads…I think that is great. *
 
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