Having lots of kids when poor

  • Thread starter Thread starter scarbar
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I remember well the poverty we had as young married people with four children. We had a tiny 3 BR. 1 bath house (the third bedroom was a converted porch). We brought home about $1000 per month. This was in the late eighties. We supported our family on that $1000 per month.
You’re blessed although it may seem hard to believe. Whatever you do, don’t get your tubes tied. I gave in to family pressure and got my tubes tied and I regret it to this day.
Someday, believe it or not, you’ll look back fondly on these years.
Hugs,
Lissa
 
Hi Scarbar,

I’m in a similar boat. I’m expecting my fifth child living below the poverty line, but not as far as you are. We won’t be able to fit into our car anymore, so I’m praying for the Lord’s will as far as our transportation needs and for food. I have gestational diabetes and cannot afford the high protein/low carb foods I’m supposed to eat, and often go hungry, taking extra naps to avoid suffering hungry feelings at least for an hour or two.

Because I can’t figure out any solutions on my own, I have thankfully been FORCED to trust in the Lord. I’m still not entirely thrilled with being pregnant right now, but trusting in the Lord is the only thing that keeps me working and trying instead of despairing and crying.

People would tell you to get sterilized whether you were rich or poor, I’m sorry to say. I guess it’s easier than being really helpful in ways that might cost them some time or money.
 
I’ve spent this pregnancy fine tuning my online business so that I can work part time at home after the baby is born.

According to our budget, we will be fine on just DH’s salary, but a part of me wants that added security, of knowing that I can bring in some extra $$.

Don’t underestimate a good support group, either! Growing up amidst big families, I saw that they could really all help each other throughout the years…for example someone’s husband losing a job would result in all the families donating food, driving the family around…big families know how it is and they are already set up to help out…what’s one more kid in the fray or one extra setting at the table, KWIM?
 
If there weren’t something good about being poor, God wouldn’t have made so many poor people, huh?😉 😉 We really need to reach out and help each other and have humility to ask for what we need. Somehow God has multiplied our loaves and fishes (especially the fishes!..we live near water and have had very good catches the past few weeks). God provides in mysterious ways. How many other poor families can sit down to a dinner of 3 dozen large Maryland blue crabs ($80+ value) without even using bait with our nets? I’d rather have cash, but thanks be to God!
 
Hi Scarbar,
I too am expecting my 4th child and we are not wealthy. It will work out. You also do not have to suffer. I agree that caring for other children is a good solution, but can I make a suggestion. Caring for infants and toddlers is very difficult and can cost more money they you get paid. I would take school age kids before and after school if I were you. Many parents have to work and cannot pickup their kids until 5 or 6 at night and have to leave them an hour before school even starts! You can provide an after school snack and a safe and nurturing environment for them to get homework done so that when their parents DO pick them up, they can spend quality time with them.

Hope this helps and Good Luck!
 
Scarbar

I too am facing the same situation as you although I am the working one in the family as my husband is disabled. My fifth child is now nine months old and i too had gestational diabetes and I have asthma. I know where you are comign from to eat healty on a small budget and also pay for diabetic meds and asthma meds. I got by on half dose of asthma meds so I could pay for the more important insulin shots. I kept up the diabetic diet pretty good with eating lots of eggs and peanutbutter for the protein and a lot of noodles for carbs. I heard the same thing from family members on my husband’s side, his mother and sisters. My husbands brother who is single was very good to us. But his mother and sisters said no more kids, you’re too poor to care for the ones you have etc. Luckily I have fourteen brohters and sisters and they would help out with the kids and groceries when I needed some. They were so good to us. It was a struggle during the pregnancy and it still is. I have a three year old and a nine month old in daycare and my kindergarner is in day care part time. My first grader and 4th grader are in school now and that helps. It is tough for me both mentally and physically to take care of five children and help my husband with his needs also. I don’t have any advice for you but I want you to know I am praying for you. Sometimes when people say God will not give you more than you can handle I say Lord enough alreday I think I’m at my limit. I keep praying and I keep trying my best. Thats all we can do and leave it in God’s hands.
 
My husband has a saying in Spanish which roughly translates “Every baby is born with a sandwich under his arm”. Sometimes materially or sometimes in other ways, I feel that each time we opened our lives to another child, God has blessed us for it in some unexpected and “impossible” way. Last time, we had to move in with my mother because we could no longer afford our rent and work was slow for my husband. It ended up being a great arrangement for all of us and we plan to stay here for the rest of our lives. God measures riches differently than we do, and He richly blesses us when we stick with Him and allow Him to do His will in our lives.
 
In Spanish they say every kid comes with a bread under his arm.

Pray the Rosary and have faith in Our Lady.

She will take care of Her children. Including you.
 
didn’t read all the replies…
just wanted to note:
A:
that four of anything is usually not considered “lots” and I think this holds true for kids as well.
if you had four or more of just about anything else - no one would look at it as too much, much less "lots"
B:
lots of kids = a different kind of wealth, not a poverty.

🙂
 
Wow!I guess I got a lot of replies while I was away.Thank-you all for your encouragment.This forum is about the only place I have received congragulations for the new baby.It means a lot to me.I was thinking about taking care of a couple kids after school.I think that would be best for me during the pregnancy and while the baby is still young.And RitaM,you hit the nail on the head,I really believe this is about trusting in the Lord’s plans for my life and not my own plans.The past few months I’ve been very busy with my own thoughts, making plans for next year,how I could volunteer for my parish,spend time in adoration and prayer; oh how wonderful it was going to be to serve the Lord.But all of these plans were my own plans,born of my own mind,and could it be …pride?Well,I have been firmly put in my place,God has His own plans for me and I must serve Him in the way he wishes,as mother and wife alone.May He give me the grace to remember my station in life and not to complain too bitterly againsyit.Thank-you for all your prayers
 
Hi scarbar, congratulations for being open to God’s gift of life. We are expecting our 7th child and my husband is the sole provider for all of us. He does not make a lot of money either. We don’t have expensive taste or spend our money carelessly. Like you we get negative comments from people all the time about having too many kids and not much money. My response to them (with a smile) is that we don’t need money to love our kids and we take care of them just fine on our own with what money we do have. God bless you and your family and may your faith and trust in God grow stronger everyday. 🙂
 
RitaM said:
My husband has a saying in Spanish which roughly translates “Every baby is born with a sandwich under his arm”. Sometimes materially or sometimes in other ways, I feel that each time we opened our lives to another child, God has blessed us for it in some unexpected and “impossible” way.
Click to expand...
I LOVE this!! 😃

Kathy
 
Scarbar

Just wanted to share this with you today. My son had been experiencing tooth pain and I could not find a dentist who would take him since this past November we got on our County’s MNCARE. There is not a dentist in our County who would accept our kids for dental care. This is so frustrating. My son was in pain so I took him to a dentist my husband had gone to in the past without telling them the kids were on County so to speak. The receptionist I talked to about our sons tooth problems said oh my goodness why didn’t you come to us sooner. Well when we got to the dental office I handed the receptionist my sons medical card and she said You should have told us you were on MNCARE but since you’re here the dentist will see you today. Not in a nice tone.

My son’s tooth was so bad he ended up needing a root canal and I started bawling. The dentists asked to see me in private and I told her I felt terrible about my son but that I could not find a dentist who would take us because we were on the County. I really started crying then and this wonderful woman said it is okay, I will take good care of your son. When I told her I had four other children who also needed to see a dentist she said I will set up appointments for them and she did for next week. I cryed the whole time my son was getting treatment I just couldn’t stop. Thank you Jesus for putting this kind dentist in our path.
 
Scarbar,

One thing I forgot to add. If you do decided to watch other kids make sure you have an agreement with the parents in writting of exactly what is expected and provided on both sides to avoid missunderstands and possble problems. If you can work only for people who have been referred to you by friends or people you know you can trust. I’ve known some people to try and take advantage of other. If it’s all spelled out in the begining it saves problems later on. 👍
 
God bless you!!! be strong in your faith and do not let anyone talk you into tying your tubes! sterilization can do far more damage to a marriage and a persons health both male and female than the addition of a beautiful baby. God must have fantastic plans for your faimly. i had inlaws who did the same thing to me when i got pregnant with my third, they constantly wanted me to get the fix but i have four childrennow and hope to have more. we struggle also , you will be surprised at how creative you can get when working on your budget. ( im still working on it:shrug: ) take care and be proud!! you have four beautiful children!!!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top