Having my children baptized next month

[bdjohnbg]

Sorry in advance if this seems like a silly question, but I’m just not sure.

I am in the process of conversion (in RCIA right now) and have my oldest son in PSR. (My ex-husband, father of my youngest, will not allow me to enroll him in the classes.) I have already been baptized, but my children have not. I have spoken to the priest, and we are planning to do this in February.

Is this something I should be inviting my younger son’s father and both kids’ grandparent to attend? Again, I apologize if that is a silly question. I was baptized Baptist, and in our church, it was a big deal kind of thing. If a person was getting baptized they did it directly after the service in front of the whole congregation, and parents/grandparents were invited to attend.

I really have no idea what to expect as far as how things go in the Catholic church. My kids aren’t really young (they are 12 and almost 9), so I have explained to them why this is important, etc. But I don’t know how to explain the process to them. (Do they dunk you under water, like the Baptists, or do it some other way?)

I intend to discuss this all with the priest as well, it has just been such a busy time for everyone that I haven’t been able to yet. Any answers that can be provided here in the meantime would be very welcome. Thanks!!

 

[Joe_5859]

Discussing it with your priest is probably going to yield the best information for you.

Not every parish does things the same way. Some do Baptisms during the Mass with the whole congregation present. Some do them after Mass with just a handful of invited family and friends. Some baptize by immersion (i.e. “dunking”). Some baptize by pouring water over the person’s head.

As far as who to invite, I wouldn’t say there is some sort of universal etiquette. Canon Law stipulates that the consent of just one parent is sufficient for Baptism to be administered (canon 868 §1.1). Obviously, if both parents can be there and are supportive, that is a good thing. But if your situation makes that difficult, perhaps handling things a different way would be necessary. This is where the guidance of a priest who knows you and your situation is key. It sounds like you are already pursuing that avenue. That’s good. I’m sure your priest will give you great advice.

 

[SonCatcher]

That puzzles me. Normally, children at ages 9 and 12 would need to go through the same process as RCIA candidates and receive all the Sacraments of Initiation (Baptism, Confirmation, Eucharist) at Easter Vigil (which will be March 30 this year).

Is an exception being made due to their father’s reluctance to cooperate?

 

[mfrances]

That puzzles me. Normally, children at ages 9 and 12 would need to go through the same process as RCIA candidates and receive all the Sacraments of Initiation (Baptism, Confirmation, Eucharist) at Easter Vigil (which will be March 30 this year).

Is an exception being made due to their father’s reluctance to cooperate?

At my parish, Baptism w/o the other sacraments is done simply if the parents want to “space things out”. They have their own “older kids” group baptismal ceremony sometime in February. Whether this policy is “following the rules” is another story…

 

[bdjohnbg]

SonCatcher,

My older son is in PSR, and the priest wants to do the baptism in February, then he will be able to do his first confession some time after that, and will receive his first communion at the Easter Vigil, as will I.

As for my younger son, the priest didn’t state whether it was the norm or not, but is allowing him to be baptized in the absence of the PSR classes, as my ex-husband is not currently allowing me to enroll him. I could press the issue, but it would cause a great deal of discord which would be unhealthy for my son. So, for the time being, I have chosen not to press it.

 

[SonCatcher]

SonCatcher,

My older son is in PSR, and the priest wants to do the baptism in February, then he will be able to do his first confession some time after that, and will receive his first communion at the Easter Vigil, as will I.

As for my younger son, the priest didn’t state whether it was the norm or not, but is allowing him to be baptized in the absence of the PSR classes, as my ex-husband is not currently allowing me to enroll him. I could press the issue, but it would cause a great deal of discord which would be unhealthy for my son. So, for the time being, I have chosen not to press it.

I take it, then, that PSR is the juvenile equivalent for RCIA in your area? The acronym is completely new to me. I usually encounter “RCIJ” or “RCIC”. I have heard many, wildly varying names for catechism of children baptized as infants but was under the illusion that catechesis for those entering the Church had a more standardized name.

I apologize for the confusion.

I was also unaware of the practice that mfrancis attests to: that of spreading out the Sacraments of Initiation for converts. That is a novelty and , as far as I am aware, contrary to Canon Law (non emergency baptisms are supposed to occur at Easter Vigil - don’t worry, it doesn’t affect validity). I doubt you are in a position to ask for that to be corrected, so just follow your pastor’s direction. It’s his responsibility to know and follow Church Law, not yours.

 

[CB_Catholic]

I take it, then, that PSR is the juvenile equivalent for RCIA in your area? The acronym is completely new to me. I usually encounter “RCIJ” or “RCIC”. I have heard many, wildly varying names for catechism of children baptized as infants but was under the illusion that catechesis for those entering the Church had a more standardized name.

I apologize for the confusion.

I was also unaware of the practice that mfrancis attests to: that of spreading out the Sacraments of Initiation for converts. That is a novelty and , as far as I am aware, contrary to Canon Law (non emergency baptisms are supposed to occur at Easter Vigil - don’t worry, it doesn’t affect validity). I doubt you are in a position to ask for that to be corrected, so just follow your pastor’s direction. It’s his responsibility to know and follow Church Law, not yours.

PSR=Parish School of Religion–it is not an equivalent to RCIC, as all the children in the parish who do not attend Catholic Schools are expected to be enrolled in it. This is where they receive their religious instruction and prepare for the Sacraments. Most of the children are already baptized.

In my day, they called it CCD–Confraternity of Christian Doctrine.

In my Grandfather’s day, the Baltimore Catechism referred to it as “Sunday School” (1901) )I thought that was pretty interesting.)

 

[SonCatcher]

PSR=Parish School of Religion–it is not an equivalent to RCIC, as all the children in the parish who do not attend Catholic Schools are expected to be enrolled in it. This is where they receive their religious instruction and prepare for the Sacraments. Most of the children are already baptized.

In my day, they called it CCD–Confraternity of Christian Doctrine.

In my Grandfather’s day, the Baltimore Catechism referred to it as “Sunday School” (1901) )I thought that was pretty interesting.)

I also went to “CCD” but it seens every diocese now has their own name, now. A relative was talking over Thanksgiving about CFF (Catholic Faith Formation) and I had to stop her to explain the acronym.

My own parish just uses “Religious Education” to describe it.

 

[CB_Catholic]

I also went to “CCD” but it seens every diocese now has their own name, now. A relative was talking over Thanksgiving about CFF (Catholic Faith Formation) and I had to stop her to explain the acronym.

My own parish just uses “Religious Education” to describe it.

Yes, most would understand it to be for the children. In my parish, and in many others, however, that would not allow for Adult Religious Education. So the PSR, which people understand to be for the children, and the Adult Faith Formation all under come under “Religious Education”. It really varies from parish to parish, and does get confusing.

RCIA, however, in my parish, does not fall under any of this. It is under Evangelization. Just to really confuse things.