Having serious doubts.

[Meemai]

Yo,

Let me explain who I am or where I am at. I have grown up as a catholic I come from the Netherlands a small country, the south has a very strong catholic presence. I have been brought up as a catholic as it is part of culture here, my parents were brought up like that.

However I never liked church as a kid and it was in my twenties that I wanted to go to the faith. Now I am 23 and I think there have been two religious periods, one started half a year ago and the other was 20-21. So this is try 2 with catholicism. There even has been half a year of buddhism in between.

However I have had a very heavy struggle with suicide, my first suicidal thought was on 11 and life felt so purposeless and absurd. In religion I found something great. But I turned into complete despair when I realised I do not believe in heaven I believe when I die I will be nothing. I do not believe in the soul it really hit a big dent in my faith. I don’t have the heart to tell my local priest.

In my church there is no kids my age, only old people that are religious in the sense that it was just they’re upbringing. I have been debating atheists on the forums and have gotten a friend as far as to go to church and even he is now reading The Lord by Guardini.

I myself however today at the easter mass I just couldn’t get into it. I hate myself I do not believe in God, and if God exists I am angry with him. I am at a end, I almost walked out of church in the middle of it.

Does anyone know a good book or somethiing that could help me? I feel at my wit’s end.

 

[JurisPrudens]

Yo,

Let me explain who I am or where I am at. I have grown up as a catholic I come from the Netherlands a small country, the south has a very strong catholic presence. I have been brought up as a catholic as it is part of culture here, my parents were brought up like that.

However I never liked church as a kid and it was in my twenties that I wanted to go to the faith. Now I am 23 and I think there have been two religious periods, one started half a year ago and the other was 20-21. So this is try 2 with catholicism. There even has been half a year of buddhism in between.

However I have had a very heavy struggle with suicide, my first suicidal thought was on 11 and life felt so purposeless and absurd. In religion I found something great. But I turned into complete despair when I realised I do not believe in heaven I believe when I die I will be nothing. I do not believe in the soul it really hit a big dent in my faith. I don’t have the heart to tell my local priest.

In my church there is no kids my age, only old people that are religious in the sense that it was just they’re upbringing. I have been debating atheists on the forums and have gotten a friend as far as to go to church and even he is now reading The Lord by Guardini.

I myself however today at the easter mass I just couldn’t get into it. I hate myself I do not believe in God, and if God exists I am angry with him. I am at a end, I almost walked out of church in the middle of it.

Does anyone know a good book or somethiing that could help me? I feel at my wit’s end.

First, of all, it is good You expressed Yourself! :console: I can imagine how hard it is to be a Catholic in Your country!

Never be ashamed to talk to a priest! Remember, Pope Francis specifically warned against that! The priests heard it all! Just do it!

You could not have been to an Easter mass yet, as the Easter has not come yet. Use the opportunity! Become part of our Lord’s resurrection, which was absurd and impossible, but happened nevertheless!

Heaven, afterlife and meeting with God after Your death are absolutely logical consequences of the life in Christ. But You cannot imaging what the Heaven would be like. And You are not supposed to! So, live Your life in the way so that God and his Saints might be proud of You. And they will never leave You unrewarded! :harp:

 

[SJacob7]

I have been where you are. Hang in there!

One book that helped me a lot was ‘Battlefield of the Mind’ by Joyce Meyers. Now I know that Joyce Meyers isn’t very well liked, and I understand that, but this book joins our everyday problems with the words from Scripture. It really helped me through major struggles I was dealing with.

God bless,
SJ

 

[BigBang2ne15]

Hello Meemai!

I am not an expert, however I do want to help you if I can. Therefore I want to recommend something for you. Try to volunteer. And I do not mean just within the Church, but with any organization that helps others. For example; volunteering at a homeless shelter, food pantry, giving money to the homeless on the street, working with the disabled, or at a nursing home. Imagine giving a nice, warm meal to a hungry, homeless person. Seeing the light and gratitude in his/her eyes. And 99% of the time in America, the homeless person will thank you from the bottom of their heart and say, "God Bless you". It is humbling to see people who are not discouraged due to horrible tragedies and who still find the power within (from God) to keep their heads high and their heart's full of God's strength, love, and mercy. Perhaps upon coming into contact with the tangible proof of God's love and his small daily miracles, may you in turn feel the draw of the Holy Spirit which will guide you back to Church. (I forgot just who it was that said if you only look, you can see the face of Jesus in the face of a stranger).
Also, try praying for God to be your everything and that everything is dependent upon him. And/or repeat, as I did during a rough time, "Believe and place all of your trust in God, for he is all you need to succeed". This statement helped me and hopefully it will help you too in finding God again. I firmly believe that the only way to be truly happy in life is to serve God by aiding others. Without God, there is a terrible absence left that can feel like "something's missing", general anxiety, depression, a hole in one's heart. Some people use temporary fixes like drugs and alcohol which only makes the emptiness worse. Again, I truly believe, with every fiber of my being, that to be happy one must rely solely on God. This is why I want to help you so badly, because I care about you and your well-being.    
 These are the tips and tricks that have helped me to grow in love for God and it is my wish that they work for you as well in helping you to believe in God again with all your being. I'll be praying for you, good luck :thumbsup:.

—If you ever just need to talk, I’ll be here for you —

 

[petra22]

Hello Meemai, Glad to meet you. I just want to tell you that it seems like God is calling to you or you wouldn’t be searching for him… (I love the song in church that says, "I love you because you first loved me! That’s how it is with God!)

I’m old and getting older. Been a Catholic all my life but didn’t really ‘get it’ until I was in my 30s. Don’t give up on God. You are so special to him. There isn’t another you on the whole planet. I know it can get depressing at times and it feels like you can’t find God, but he’s there with you. Look around you at the little things. I found what helped me was to get a journal and write down five things that make me happy or five special things… tell what makes them special to you or why they make you happy. Do it every day for at least 30 days, maybe longer if you like to write. You won’t run out of stuff to write. God will show you things each day, things just for you. One day I was so sad. I was sad when I went to bed and I was still sad when I got up the next morning. But I told God I love him and opened the window blind and looked out. There in the sky in the morning light was a little rainbow. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky nor had it rained during the night. I think he sent me the rainbow just for me to cheer me up. No kidding. (I took a picture of it with my camera!) Just the other day I was walking to the mailbox across the road from my house and I just said out loud, "Lord, I love you!’ I looked down where I was stepping and there was a rock in the shape of a heart! No kidding!
I hope you give God a chance. Tell him if you are angry about things, tell him if you are happy. Keep your eyes open and see what he shows you. I’ll be praying for you.

Our Father who art in Heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil. Amen

 

[slMike]

Yo,

Does anyone know a good book or somethiing that could help me? I feel at my wit’s end.

Here you go Meemai.

Sign up for a four day Retreat (Bezinningsdagen) in Zonnewende (Moergestel):

Bezinningsdagen 2016 voor dames

04-02 t/m 07-02
03-03 t/m 06-03 (Engels)
21-04 t/m 24-04
10-10 t/m 13-10 (Midweek)
27-10 t/m 30-10
17-11 t/m 20-11 (Spaans)
24-11 t/m 27-11

Jongeren

03-03 t/m 06-03
21-04 t/m 24-04
24-11 t/m 27-11

Voor alle bezinningsdagen geldt: Aanvang: 21.00 Einde: 15.30 uur

Kosten: € 210, - voor studenten € 90, -

**Bezinningsdagen 2016 voor heren **

21-01 t/m 24-01
01-02 t/m 04-02 (Midweek)
11-02 t/m 14-02 (Engels)
05-05 t/m 08-05
22-09 t/m 25-09 (Engels)
06-10 t/m 09-10

Jongeren

28-04 t/m 01-05 (Engels)
05-05 t/m 08-05
22-09 t/m 25-09

Voor alle bezinningsdagen geldt: Aanvang: 21.00 Einde: 15.30 uur

Kosten: € 210, - voor studenten € 90, -

These Bezinningsdagen are given by a Priest from Opus Dei and there are always young people there when I go for the retreat in English. It’s a wonderful location to pray and get close to God and you can talk to the Priest or a lay person about what is on your mind.

Why don’t you contact them, tell them your situation and give the Bezinningsdagen a try.

*[Bezinningsdagen in Zonnewende 2016

Folder_Zonnewende_2016.pdf](https://bpstatic.nl/user/soka/Folder_Zonnewende_2016.pdf)*

Regards

Mike

 

[fred_conty]

Yo,

Let me explain who I am or where I am at. I have grown up as a catholic I come from the Netherlands a small country, the south has a very strong catholic presence. I have been brought up as a catholic as it is part of culture here, my parents were brought up like that.

However I never liked church as a kid and it was in my twenties that I wanted to go to the faith. Now I am 23 and I think there have been two religious periods, one started half a year ago and the other was 20-21. So this is try 2 with catholicism. There even has been half a year of buddhism in between.

However I have had a very heavy struggle with suicide, my first suicidal thought was on 11 and life felt so purposeless and absurd. In religion I found something great. But I turned into complete despair when I realised I do not believe in heaven I believe when I die I will be nothing. I do not believe in the soul it really hit a big dent in my faith. I don’t have the heart to tell my local priest.

In my church there is no kids my age, only old people that are religious in the sense that it was just they’re upbringing. I have been debating atheists on the forums and have gotten a friend as far as to go to church and even he is now reading The Lord by Guardini.

I myself however today at the easter mass I just couldn’t get into it. I hate myself I do not believe in God, and if God exists I am angry with him. I am at a end, I almost walked out of church in the middle of it.

Does anyone know a good book or somethiing that could help me? I feel at my wit’s end.

Commit your life to Mary, because she knows the way to him and will show you and obtain help for you. Develope a personal relationship with her by just talking to her about anything and everything that concerns you. Tell her you trust her to get you through this. She never lets anyone down who has a good attitude.

Tell her you are trusting her with your life and know she will be there for you. Then be patient and you will see things you have never seen before. Talk with her each day.

 

[Bill_Martin]

Try starting by reading Mere Christianity by CS Lewis. Maybe read it 2 or 3 times.

I have also frequently felt despair, to the point of suicide. I know enough about it to know that I don’t know what to tell you, because everyone goes through something different. Be humble, admit that you don’t know things you don’t know, and never stop trying to learn the truth. Be aware of things that can bias your judgement and eliminate them. This applies to everything, whether it’s your thoughts about God’s existence, your soul’s existence, or your thoughts about yourself.